AtHomeWithAilsa

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<Tweet > If you are on TWITTER, you'll like this new Twitter Auto Follow Back program - it's FREE, but I got Level 3, and that automatically Follows Back for me 4 times a day - it's fantastic! Twitter Auto Follow-Back has 4 Levels, so just see which Level works best for you : >

At Home with Ailsa -- What's goin' on, today... it's the closest I can get to a Blog! And now, Archived Ailsa... see what I was thinking years ago! lol!

Okay, I finally DID start a Blog -- http://buildyourownhousebodylife.blogspot.com/ , which my lovely daughter, Cara, showed me how to set my blog a while ago, so I have about 70 pages on there, as compared with about (and I'm just guessing...) a gazillion pages on here, my main website...and there are a LOT more pictures of me on my blog...easier to post them on the blog, for me...but you can pop in to see what you think, leave me a message, maybe make your very own blog, then I'll come visit you, too!! We'll be friends!! hahaha!

Monday, March 3rd, 2014.... What?? Was the last time I was on this page really that long ago? About the time I finally figured out how to write a blog?? hahaha! Sorry about that, Folks! lol! I guess I've been a little busy, with sooo many changes in my life, and whatnot...plus, the Blog is soo easy to do, I suppose I was drawn to that, first... well. hmmm. So, we're out in Victoria, BC, Canada, now, and it's very pretty. It's a slower pace of life than we're used to, but I think I can adjust to that... they seem to want you to 'write letters', and actually put them in an envelop and mail the damn things, out here - archaic, much? hahaha! I have no idea why it's like that. And they refer to email as 'electronic mail' - hahahaha! Just say email, get it over with, what with it being 2014, 'n all....and you are told on their websites, to call this number... no email address - if an email address is supplied, you will get a message that 'we don't accept email, please call us between 9 - 4... holy schmokes, batman, is it 1972, again?? So, that has been a big adjustment for me, since I like to do as much as I can online, on, what some might call, The Internet Highway. Is always shocking to me when major companies (BC Hydro, I'm talkin' to you! lol!) do not partake in technology at it's finest - the internet, not the old home phone! hahaha! Ah, well. The weather more than makes up for my technological frustrations, and it is stunningly beautiful, here, soooo, hopefully I'll be able to feel settled enough, here, as soon as possible, to find a nice piece of land (come on, now, were you thinking of a different word, there?? haha1 Me, too! lol!), start to build another lovely new home. That's always my Big Plan! lol!

Oooh, and it's my Birthday on Friday - so I'm super-excited about that, but I would like to stop my brain from going over every single year, mostly in the middle of the night! lol! Birthdays, they bring stuff up, that's for sure! I hope all is well with you, and you are having a great day! And a great year!! Hugs from Afar, unless you also live in Victoria, BC! lol! Ailsa xox

Saturday, December 15th, 2012... how many more days 'til the Mayan countdown?? Aargh! Is taking up too much of my thoughts.. and making it okay in me own mind to go ahead and have how ever many chocolates I want! Although, truth be told, that's pretty much how I live my life - I just have whatever I want, balance it all out with oatmeal in the form of my favourite Scottish porridge and my fave Apple Crumble for One.. the easy one, I canny be bothered making the fancy one, any more... I'll link you to both in a minute... but on with what's driving me crazy, today... I can't get my home page to load properly... is sooo frustrating! I just went in to see the code view, and there's a bunch of stuff on there I didn't realize was there - hmmmm. The giant problem is that I don't know what is supposed to be there (especially the hidden stuff), and what should not be there, and what shouldn't be there at all, but I DO know that my page should load properly, and I am soo frustrated by it. Aaargh!! Any ideas?? Hmmm, this is when I wish I had a much bigger brain, full of all sorts of computer wisdom!! Would be great... must find a webmaster! Okay, I'm going back in to see if I can solve the problemo... wish me luck!! I'll be back in as soon as I've fixed my annoying problem! Hugs! Ailsa xox

Saturday, October 13th, 2012... Hello, Baby!! Man, has it ever been a long time since I've been able to get into my main site (this one! lol! www.buildyourownhouse.ca)... long story short, I had to leave America (boooo! I loved it, there!), but my Work Visa wasn't renewed, much to my chagrin (really, I was a Permanent Teacher, so it is still shocking to me how the whole thing went down, but when the unemployment rate is so high in the US, it's very difficult to feel like it's okay to really argue the point, but it was very hurtful on so many levels, and I still own my condo in LA -- I'll be happy to sell it if I can get anywhere around $400,000 for it, then at least I won't lose any money on it, but at that amount, I won't make any money on it, either, because, of course, you know me (!), I'm a renovation girl, so I went in and immediately did over $30,000 in reno on the condo, so it looks gorgeous! Anyway, I was in a total state of shock when I found out I really had to leave America, and had to cross the border back to Canada on August 31st, 2011... I had no idea what to do, so I ended up making a bee-line (B-line?? whatever! lol!) back to my hometown, Belleville, Ontario, Canada, which I thought was a really good idea, because I knew so many people there, having grown up in the area, but it was impossible to get a teaching position there, even with all my contacts... and then.duh da duh... I was visciously attacked in front of the Court House in Belleville - by my horrible neighbour, a female. Filthy thing that she was - what a monster. So the police were involved, they did virtually nothing - we weren't safe at all. What a joke. Was ridiculous. So I started researching jobs in Canada, specifically Teaching Positions in Special Education, and that led us out to Victoria, BC, Canada, where they have much better programs for people with Special Needs, and that's really important to me. So now I am waiting for my BC Teaching Certificate to be processed (is taking a ludicrous amount of time), but there are other opportunities out here in BC, so I'm really glad this is where we've landed. I would still love to go 'home' to California (literally, my home is there!), but it's a matter of getting another Work Visa, and an employer willing to do that... that's the tricky part!

So, here's the deal with my computer, my desktop computer.. when I got to Belleville, the company I chose, unfortuneately, because they turned out to be hoooorible, I hate them, the bashtards (they charged me over $450 just to stop their service, because we were leaving Ontario, and they aren't Canada-wide, like I would've have known that (?!), or known that I would be attacked (!)... ugh. so I HATE Cogeco - do NOT use them, choose any other service provider, but never choose Cogeco, the losers. I've gotta write to the BBB (Better Business Bureau), to see if that was legal, that ludicrous bill just to end my services ($463!! That's insane...). Anyway, and I digress (!), those idiots were never even able to hook my desktop computer up, only the laptop. I was sure it would eventually sort itself out, but that was not to be. So then we moved out here to Victoria, and I had to get the desktop fixed, completely -- a really good company in Victoria, BC, Mother Computers - Chris Kasztner was the very lovely fellow who helped me, and at no point did he speak down to me - a real problem, as a lot of people have experienced this, with getting things fixed, like cars or computers... anyway, Chris was great, and he completely fixed my desktop so now I'm finally back on my site!! Yahoo!!! I just fixed my Home Page, which had some BIG problem, so some Search Engines couldn't seem to open the Home Page, so that was really disconcerting for me, but I just went in and fixed that, so hopefully I'll be back to normal in no time!

Then I had a very nice email from an Affiliate Partner of mine, Megan, and she had said that if I posted my new Cardstore.com page I did on my new blog, http://buildyourownhousebodylife.blogspot.com, she would Retweet it for me on Twitter, sooo, that's what it finally took for me to open a Twitter Account, and I'm so glad I did! Twitter is fun! Who knew?? 12 million other people knew, you say?? hahaha! Well, I'm a little slow off the mark, but I'm there, now, so I'll find tha Twitter button thing for you to come in and Follow Me, and I'll Follow You Back.... and THEN, I found this amazing program on Twitter, an Twitter Automatic Follow Back feature, and to make yet another longish story slightly shorter, I have developed a really nice little friendship with the owner of that program, Mike - what a great guy! I want him to make a zillion dollars with it, it's soo brilliant! Really, he must have a brain the size of watermelon!! lol! Imagione being that smart!! lol! Is the sort of thing that really impresses me! So you can check that out on blog, http://buildyourownhousebodylife.blogspot.com. I'll go get the direct link for you, so you can do it in one step... TWITTER Auto Follow-Back. I'm excited about my new Twitter Account - I'm @AilsaForshaw... I'll go see if I can find that button I saw somewhere, where you can connect straight to TWITTER.

Okay, so that sort of brings you up to date on what's happening with me : ) Let me know what's happening with you! Now that I'm back on here, maybe I could set up a new page where we can share our Building Stories - the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, and all the great phots along the road to your new home, or your newly renovated house... or whatever else you might like to share! It's great to be back!! Yahooo!! See you sooo much sooner than the last time!! Oh, and if you haven't been on my blog, http://buildyourownhousebodylife.blogspot.com, pop in to see all the other developments - it was easy to get into my blog to work on that! lol! Ailsa : ) xox!!

Cheap Jewelry -- it's gorgeous and real! I wish I made a commission off of this Chinese Wholesale website, DHgate, but I don't, dang it ... lots of language barriers, and a slightly long wait for the items to arrive, but they're super-cheap, real stones... and the clothes are great, too, but if you're over 5 feet, order larger than your regular size! lol! Enjoy!! I've bought soo much stuff from this Chinese wholesaler -- and I wear it all the time :)

Thursday, July 7th, 2011... Big Brother's baaack....Big Brother is Back! Yahooo!! We love the drama that is Big Brother! Soo, who are the people playing the Big Brother 13 game, this summer?? Rachel and Brendon are back, part of the new 'Dynamic Duo' deal, for one of the fancy twists in the Big Brother 13 Game.... Rachel was our favourite, last year, in Big Brother 12, but I've gotta say, I did not expect their relationship to last (if indeed it has... oh, TV, how you can play little games with us... lol!). Did you think that was a real engagement ring? Wouldn't the tabloids, or someone, have reported their engagement over this past year? They're celebrity Big Brother people, yo. Will be fun to see, since they let the whole world see everything they're thinking, feeling, doing, saying.... and I loves me an open book! haha!

So the other Big Brother 'couples' from the past are Jeff and Jordan, and the father/daughter duo, Dick and Danielle. Or should I say, Evil Dick?? haha! (Hard for me not to put another wee joke in there, but I'm sure you're thinking it, to, soooo..... what's the point in us both being in the gutter?? hahaha!). And why was Dick (Evil Dick... okay, you got me, I just like saying that...!) the only one to go upstairs? Hmmm.

The rest of the players are a bit of a disappointment, for the single girls in the audience... what, no hotties auditioned? Yick. No one to really attach yourself to, if you know what I mean.... I did get a big kick out of Shelly's unbelieveably low-pitched voice... does she have the manliest voice in the whole Big Brother 13 house? lol! Ruh-roh. And Kalia seems pretty annoyed by Rachel's big breasts, which is a teensy bit hilarious, given that her 'puppies', as Keith so lovingly called them, were just holdin' on by a thread in her own top.... funny what irks one girl against another, so-to-speak ;) And I laughed when Keith took careful note of Kalia's 'puppies', to the camera, then immediately chose Porsche, who already had told us she's had plastic surgery..... so that's how you get on TV! Who knew?? lol!

I love the 25 year old virgin... didn't they make a movie about him?? That's too funny, and Dominic lives with his mom. Who can see these things coming?? haha! Cassi is a very pretty girl, but I can't see what other kind of romantic hookups we're gonna see, this summer, other than the obvious ones... not a lot of choices in the Big Brother house... booo! We loev a budding romance! Or a break-up... whatever... they both make for great Reality TV! So then Lewon... well, I like his personality, and he's from just up the road from where I live... he's from Inglewood, California, and I've spent a lot of time at some great dance clubs in Inglewood... at least he looks like he has a good sense of humor, and some personality.... perhaps a little more personality than Porsche, who hopes to keep her real identity as a VIP Cocktail Waitress a secret, since she doesn't want people to think she is already living the life of Reilly.... no. Wait. She won't know who Reilly is... the easy life. Yup, that's better... oh, Porsche, maybe she's hiding her intelligence, too, and we'll get a better look at her brain, later...you can't show people all your assets all at once, just wear something lowcut, start with the obvious talents, go from there... haha!

That leaves us Adam (hmmm... nice guy, loves Apple Martinis, so that means he's good at talking to women....but looks very manly, soooo, might be around for a while...). Rachel won the very first HOH competition, hanging onto that Big Brother Banana in the sky for dear life... , so that's good that Rachel won the HOH right off the bat. I cannot stand when a player intentionally throws a game.... you know when Shelly almost immediately drops off the banana, says she didn't want to win the first HOH.... ugh. Try and win every time. If only for the treat basket!! hahaha! (I looove Treat Baskets!!)(Or better, yet, a Wine Basket....! lol!)

It'll be interesting to see who Rachel nominates, since the person who wins will get the Big Brother Golden Key, and that will keep them safe from eviction for the first 4 weeks of the competition... that's huuuge. Okay, I've gotta (yes, I've gotta!) go watch Big Brother After Dark.... I wanna see who really likes who else... we're on the look-out for new hookups! hahaha! Ailsa xox

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011...Unrequited Love, anyone?? No? It's alive and well on TV, these days, on The Bachelorette, so here's my little take on that... and a wee bit more...! lol!

Oh, Ashley, poor little Ashley... she's in the middle of a storm of unrequited love with that loser, Bentley... or is Bentley smarter than we thought?? Pretty clever, to get on TV, be the most talked-about Bachelorette Contestant in ages, and he hasn't even told us what business it was he wanted to promote... and I'd like to know! Luckily for us, we'll maybe get to find out, because is Bentley actually coming back on the show?? Say it ain't so.... oooh, that crazy Bachelorette!

Of course, he'll only be on to further his fame, but little Ashley won't perceive it like that, not at all... the poor girl is smitten. But smitten after only a few weeks? Man, I can hardly remember relationships I've had that lasted for years! hahahahaha! Okay, that's just for my own amusement... and partly because I had THE most bizarre 'old boyfriend' crap happen to me a couple of weeks ago, no kidding... I got an email from an old (and I mean OLD) boyfriend, to let me know he just got married. I wrote back, congratualtions.... this was followed by THE meannest email from him, listing all the reaons why I didn't marry him.. talk about stored up anger... now, it might be of interest to let you know I was a TEENAGER when I went out with this now-lunatic, and he's well into his FIFTIES... yuuuuck! And RECENTLY MARRIED.. .. gross!!! He should be concentrating on his new marriage, not reminiscing about some crap that went down thirty years ago... crazy. Crazy with a capital 'C'.... the kind of Crazy you'd move to another country to avoid (but maybe that's just me! hahaha!) So get this.... his big claim to fame, and Very Good Reason for why I should have married him was that he WASHED THE DISHES. Oh, yes. I did miss out on quite a catch, right there.... silly me. Too bad they invented dishwashers, and NORMAL men, so I didn't HAVE to marry that Crazy.... man, the things people hold on to, but that's what happens in unrequited love... the one person keeps on loving the other person, looong after the one who's lost interest has moved along.... (can you tell how furious I was at all that crap being dragged to the surface after 30 years?? Who does that?? Someone who needs a boatload o' therapy, that's who.... lol!)(Oh, and for the record, I don't really think anyone, let alone meeee, is 'old' unless they infuriate me -- any age will do -- or they are approaching 160 years old... and I will change that number as I get closer to 160 years old, too! lol!)

But, alas, unrequited love happens to the best of us, and it's definitely happened to me, too, twice that I can think of... and I think I might have caused it a few times, to... what can I say, I love to love ya', baby! hahahaha! (Yep, I grew up in da '70s!! lol!) But unrequited love is sooo hard to deal with. It hurts. Poor Ashley, she can't get over Bentley because it just happened (literally, last week! lol!), so she hasn't had a chance to work her way through it, try to come out the other side a healthier person... not, yet, anyway. I always think, the very best way to get over your unrequited love is to find an even bigger, better, love, get swept away by the next person you fall in love with (yes, there will always be another person for you out there... that's a big load of BS that there's only ONE person for every ONE individual... puh-leeease, there are billions of us on the planet, there'll be a whole pile of 'someone elses' for you, it's just a waiting game, like fishing... just cast your net forth, see what you can drag back in! lol! Noooo, don't drag anything in... just go about your business, enjoy your life, and the next 'right one' will come along, you'll see...

So now I'm excited to see what will happen next week on The Bachelorette... it was looking pretty pathetic, there, for a bit, where, basically, it was a free trip around the world for a great group of handsome men, and one little love-lost girl named Ashley... but she seemed to come alive a bit for her 'golf lesson' with Lucas, and she has a little connection with Ben F. Hey, am I the only one who notices that they don't seem to take any note of 'the help'?? Seems pretty awful. You can tell a LOT about someone's character by the way they treat the waiter or waitress, and anyone else who is helping them in some way.... it only takes a second to be nice and polite, and people who are dismissive are jerks (really, you know the word I'd really like to use...). It's always interesting to me who thinks they are 'above' being nice... ugh. They're horrible people. Everyone should have to do some sort of Service work in their life so they will always be kind to their server... and will leave a decent tip, too (just had to throw that in there! lol!).

But I digress (whaaaat??).... the thing I want to see, next week on The Bachelorette, is how the other guys will react to Bentley being there, in the hotel, and Ashley leaping up on him (is this something tiny people do? I don't recall doing this in my life... maybe at a fancy cocktail party, or an upscale wine and cheese, but nowhere else, I'm pretty sure.. hahahahaha!). Women may be more likely to forgive an unrequited love situation, and try for the guy, anyway, but will the men do the same? I'm not sure, that's why I need to watch, see if I can learn a little something about men, since they are often like a little mystery to me! hahaha!

So, if you happen to be dealing with a little unrequited love, right now, and can't quite seem to get over a lost love, and you're doing like little Ashley, and constantly thinking of that person, try changing your thoughts to, 'oh, I'm thinking about that, again.. I'll think about flowers, or money, or business, or whatever else you like to think about... but NOT that person.... if that person wants you, you'll know it. Better yet, they'll let you know it. You're much better to get on with your life, find someone waaaay better, maybe rub it in their nose, or something... see, I'm full of great and very mature ideas! hahahaha! Nooo, I kid.... just move on and be happy. I hope Ashley learns that lesson while she still has all those eligible bachelors there... those are some seriously nice fellows, and she could be really happy with one of them... if she can leave Bentley behind.... Good Luck, L'il Ashley!! Ailsa xox

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011... My little update on the Bachelorette... Ah, Phuket....

Is that what everyone is saying about The Bachelorette, this season, 'Ah, Phuket'?? Wait, how do you pronounce that? With a hard 'P', you say?? Oh, sorry. My bad. I thought it was an 'F'-it sound.... and maybe people still watching The Bachelorette think the same thing, too.... lol!

So what's the deal with little, tiny, teensy, Ashley? Is she a dentist or a dancer?? How come they made her out to be a dentist on the Bachelor with Brad Womack, and this season on The Bachelorette, she's suddenly a 'dancer', with what looks to be about one good move... that thrusting your hips forward in a half walk, half dance-thing... I was tyring it on the weekend, when we were out for a hike (was beautilful... Kenneth Hahn Park in Los Angeles, the 'Walk for Health' section of the park... stunningly gorgeous, if you're looking for something fun and healthy to do...). Anyway, I just look like an idiot trying that sh*t, but, you know, I'll do anything for a laugh, but I would never bother me asss to do that for real -- would be too stupi! haha!

So little Ashley, who is now seen primarily in bikinis, to prove to the guys that she really is a girl... look, a bikini, I'm a girl!! Come on, get interested!! Sad. Not good. Even Neanderthal Ned think 'Not Good'. Ashley's all depressed that loser Bentley is gone... that creep. Ugh. Oh, if only Bentley were here, what would my trip to PHUKET be like.... and I'm sure all the rest of the guys are thinking the same thing... and some have even mentioned they're there for a free trip around the world -- why not? It's not their fault Ashley falls for all the losers...

We only got about halfway through the episode of The Bachelorette, last night, then switched over to The Housewives of Orange County, having yet another fight... was much better TV than Ashley looking forlorn over Bentley not being in Phuket... (can you tell I love the mispronunciation of that name?? hahahaha! Makes me laugh!) We left off where Ashley is on her date with Ames, who seems like a nice enough fellow... he looks like the kind of guy I went to University with (I went to Queen's University, in Kingston, Ontario, Canada)... smart, good looking, monied, can get any girl he wants in his normal life, probably doesn't treat women very well because of that... unfortunate stereotype, but usually true... but he has to really work to get Ashley's attention, since her mind is in Utah...hmmmm. Those guys love a good chase, so we'll see what happens, there... he seems like a good guy, though. Not like loser William... man, say something horrible to Ashley, she's yours for life. What's that all about?? Ugh. Women need to know, if he says something mean in his pick-up line, like, 'you probably think you're too good for me' (that's a standard line for abusers, too, ladies...), or actively says something mean about you to catch your attention, run away. At the very least, turn your back. It will only get much, much worse... this type of guy preys on the insecurities of these women. Terrible, but true.

I liked that Ames was talking about family life on the date... at least he's thinking of that, and marriage, when that's what they're supposed to be there for, in the first place... but how many men a night does she kiss?? (Reminds me of the old 'mennonite' joke... How many Mennonites did she go out with? 3 menn-o-nite... buh-dum-bum... haha! It's an oldie but a goodie... really, it doesn't take much to make me laugh, clearly! haha!) So are the producers telling Ashley to get in there and get to kissin' these guys, or does it all come naturally?? haha!! Yuck!! Kissing is such an intimate thing... and with one guy after another... yick. How many will she want to take to the Fantasy Suites?? hahahahaha!

We'll keep watching The Bachelorette, of course... I'm always curious how it will work out.... I like Ben F. (looks like Dax Sheppard, and I really think he's cute... very funny guy...), and I like that Ryan guy with the Solar Panel Industry... good for him for helping the planet, and I looove Solar Energy, and any other kind of natural energy (especially Wind, Sun and Earth... Geothermal... that's stuff is waaay cool, fer sures!).

I don't see any connection with the other dentist... she barely talks to him. I love my dentists... they're such nice fellows, and they are highly skilled conversationalists, so that makes no sense... they're so good at chatting away to you while you're getting your teeth done... is a great skill! She really seems to be distancing herself from her career in dentistry... that's bizarre, since that's what she talked about most on the last season of the Bachelor with Brad... hmmmm. Well, we'll see what happens, next week... oh, and my favourite 'Bachelorette Moment' happened with Jimmy Kimmel, when he came on the screen right after Bentley had been such a bashtard, Jimmy Kimmel turns to the camera, and says what a jerk-loser Bentley is... so we've been watching Jimmy Kimmel every since .. sooo funny! Ailsa xox
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Thursday, May 26th, 2011.... So I just came back from a little 'Internet Vacation', and by internet vacation, I mean, I was harshly, brutally, removed from my precious internet connection, and all the joys and woes that brings me, when my modem went out, and could not be reconnected to the internet, no matter how hard I tried to make it connect. Ugh. I know, I felt sorry for me, too! It was awful, at first, like coming off crack, or something (I'm kidding ... who can afford crack cocaine, these days?? hahahaha!)... I thought I was gonna lose my mind, I was so frantic about trying to make the modem work, again. Also, I wasn't completely sure which box was the modem -- hahahaha! Everyone makes the happy assumption that since I have these giant websites online, that surely I must know at least the bottom line basics of the computer, but, nope! I don't. Sometimes I think I do, but I always like to have a whole lot of clarification to make sure what I think is right, is in fact in any way correct... is a slight problem for me, as you might well imagine! haha!

The first two days were definitely the worst... I was going back and forth to my local Time Warner office, to get a new modem, but I have all three things set up through Time Warner.. my phone, my TV cable (which I did not want to jeopardize, fer sures, since it turns out I'm waaay more addicted to my favourite Cable TV shows (and I NEED every one of my 1,000 channels -- they're important to me, I need to see what all is on that I don't want to watch... but I also loove DVR, so when I finally do find my favourite programs, I can tape them all for later....right now, I'm on an I Dream of Jeannie kick, since it's on TVLAND, and is even funnier than I remember it to be... plus, it reminds me of one of my favourite machines in Vegas, the I Dream of Jeannie Slot Machine -- sooo mcu fun! Next time you're in Vegas, search it out, you'll laugh yourself silly, while singing along to the theme song... I assume you'll be drunk by the time you've been at the casino for the amount of time it'll take you to find the I Dream of Jeannie machine... I know I always am! hahaha! I'm just amusing myself, now! lol!)

But I digress... now that's never happened, before... haha! So the deal was that I have an 'extra' black box that the modem connects to, AND the main phone line connects through the black box, too. I kept telling them that down at the Time Warner office, but it turned out they kept giving me the wrong modem box, so I would happily take the new modem, bring it home, connect it all up, and be frustrated out of my mind when it wouldn't connect to the internet. I have a big serious problem with high blood pressure, these days (thanks to a terrible job situation, but more on that when I am completely away from that...), and I thought, okay, this is really bad for my stress levels, so after trying FIVE of the wrong modem boxes from Time Warner, I took a little break. I just couldn't do it anymore -- I thought I would lose my mind, trying to force the modem to work... aaarrrgh! And it turns out, praying didn't do me a whole lot of good, either... I'm not sure God is connected to the internet (although, He probably is, what with being Omnicient 'n all...! lol!).

Long story slightly shorter, after being offline for the first 5 days, all of a sudden my life felt simpler. Easier. I kind of felt like we were back in pioneer days (and, no, I am not prone to exagerate, which I have said for at least the millionth time...), but with all the lovely electricity and indoor plumbing, and whatnot... but it was bizarre how disconnected I felt from the whole world. It was good and bad at the same time. Like a regular vacation! hahaha! (Have you ever been on the vacation, and afterwards, your favourite part was coming home?? haha! Happens to me all the time!)

It's funny, I didn't really realize, before, when the internet worked without question, that I think I might have been completely addicted to the internet. How crazy does that sound? But it was routine for me to check my emails all day long, and after I was disconnected for a while, I realized that I didn't have all the ups and downs that are sooo common with checking your emaill, see who you got an email from, how good was the email (or more importantly, how hot was it?? hahahaha!), and on the down side, who didn't you get an email from, and how disappointing was that? I was on an emotional roller coaster ride, and all because of email!! Aaaand, I had a slight obsession with how many visitors did I have to my sites, and how much money had I made over the course of each day (not much! Boooo!! But one day I believe they will produce a nice income for me, God Willing! lol!).

Well, I kept going back and forth, back and forth, to the Time Warner offices (luckily, they're really close to where I live), trying to solve my internet computer connection problem, and most of the employees were really nice (albeit, they kept giving me the wrong modem, even when I begged them to pleeease just give me back the originl one that I had brought in when the problems first started), until we got the biggest beeeyotch of them all -- she was hooorible to me. (Funny thought... wouldn't it be hilarious to think in your head, when you are secretly thinking someone is being horrible to you, that they are being 'whore-able'?? hahahahaha! Okay, now I like that... that will be my new thought to lighten things up for myself when some mean woman is being horrible (ne: 'whore-able' hahahaha! That just makes me laugh! haha!) to me... and why are women more likely to be mean to other women, then all lovely to any man who approaches the counter? What ever happened to female solidarity? Sadly, (and luckily for me) it took a man to fix my problems (uh, I think that's happened before in me life! hahaha!)...

Time Warner eventually sent out some technicians (THREE weeks later.. can you imagine being offline for 3 whole weeks?? I should get a T-Shirt with "I Survivied My Broken Modem"... well, maybe not....) , and it took them over an hour to finally get my computer connected to the internet, again -- Thank God!! Was like the skies parted and the sun came out! They were great technicians, and there was no way I would've been able to fix the problem myself. So I guess the motto of this story is: You can't always fix things yourself.... or, take a little break from the computer, in case you, too, have become a slave to it, constantly checking your email (or whatever it is you looove so much on the internet!! hahahahaha!)

Well, the important thing is, I'm baaack!! Yippee! And I didn't miss nearly as much as had imagined I had... is that pathetic?? haha! whatever. Now I am much better at staying away from the computer a bit more, and managing my time online a whole lot better... I am no longer a slave to the computer, and I learned that the world was perhaps a simpler, and maybe a tad bit happier, when we weren't connected to each other, literally, 24/7. Really, that's a fairly new phenomenon, so I'm guessing I'm not the only one out there in Computerland who was addicted to the internet... not in a weird way, but a way that definitely had a hold on my everyday emotions and activities... who knew? Now I do! Yippee, I've broken out of the Internet yoke! Okay, I've gotta go check my email, see who's written to me since I started writing this... no, I kidding... I'll check it tomorrow... or the next day... we'll see how I feel! Now who's in control, Computer? I think it might be me!! haha! Maybe soon it will be you, too!! lol! See you soon, Ailsa xox! (Those are distant hugs and kisses, just so we're both on the same page with that! hahahahaha!)

Oh, and if you would like to donate to the Redcross to help all the poor folks who are living real disasters, not just mere internet meltdowns, all those folks in the mid-west dealing with the aftermath of all those terrible tornadoes, you can Text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a quick $10 donation. You know how I feel about raising a lot of money -- ask for a little bit from a lot of people, and you'll get a great response, ask for a huge amount form a few people, you'll hardly get any... works every time! Ailsa xox
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Monday, April 25th, 2001... I'm looking a houses, again, and I've just recently come across House Hunters International, on HGTV, which has quickly become my favourite new show, by far... I just can't seem to get enough of it! lol!

Omg, have you seen House Hunters International on HGTV, yet?? It's my favorite 'new-to-me' show on TV... I looove it. I just can't get enough of it! Thank God for DVR (like TiVo), because I DVR all the House Hunters International I can find (and they seem to have a marathon every Friday night, so that gives you tons of International House Hunters to watch over the weekend, and into the following week -- yippee!!).

So here's what I love about it, soo much... they take you all around the world, Italy, Scotland (you know I love the Scottish bit! lol!), Morocco, Spain, Portugal, Uruguay, Canada (another 'yippee'!!), Mexico, Honduras, Belize, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Poland, Germany, Malta ... man, they go everywhere you might like to own a vacation home -- or maybe even relocate entirely to one of these lovely locations!

A local realtor takes the people who are typically looking for a holiday home, a nice vacation home that may also be used as a rental property, but sometimes they are couples or families looking to relocate entirely to a new country... which is what I love to do! Well, I'd like to do both, really!! But the Realtor takes the people around to three different places, in their price range (which actually went from $20,000 US and can go well into the millions... so lots of variety, so plenty of dreams to fulfil! lol!) We were particularly interested in the properties you could buy in the Under $200,000 range -- who knew?? And the fellow from Los Angeles, California, who bought the fixer-upper in Italy for $20,000 -- wow, that was amazing. Made me instantly want to go buy a $20,000 house in Italy, fix it up!! I would loove to see a follow-up show on how the renovations are done, and the final products, for these particular fixer-upper sales... now that's right up my alley! haha!

What I find amazing is what houses look like around the world. Little things that are soo different from North America (we've lived for a long time in the US, and I was raised in Canada, but born in Scotland, so we've seen our share of properties...), but, man, I did NOT know that a kitchen... yes, the whole kitchen, is not necessarily included in many European homes! For real! You have to go to the 'kitchen shop', and buy your own kitchen! lol! BYOK... Bring Your Own Kitchen! How surprising is that? And something I would never have known or even guessed if we hadn't watched sooo many of these House Hunters Internationals.

When people are looking for property for a vacation home, usually they are looking for property right on the beach, or with a great view to the beach, and, wow, do they deliver. It is incredible what you can buy for not all that much, right on the beach in many countries you might not have thought of, before watching this show. You get to go in and see what the houses, apartments and condos look like, how much they cost, and the square footage.

I would like to know more about whether people can obtain mortgages for any of these foreign owned properties, because, usually, you would have to pay cash for a property outside of your own country. Or if you already own a home in your own country, you might choose to put a Second Mortgage on your first home, to cover the cost of the new vacation home... or just buy that $20,000 fixer-upper in Italy, forget all about a mortgage! lol! (Can you tell that was one of my favorites?? haha!)

We get HGTV on Channel 74, and we're with Direct TV, but check your local guide, see what channel HGTV is for you in your area, and start having some fun dreaming about where your next home could be!! Ailsa xox
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April 20th, 2011... Omg, is Phillip completely losin' it out there on Survivor?? He's got that crazy feather on his forehead (not a good start, and often a dead giveaway of further problems... lol!), he's communing with his Grandfather and somehow he's connected that to Rob (super-weird). Poor guy. He's been going downhill steadily since those girls wouldn't pay him the attention they readily gave to Rob, and it really looked like he was going to be voted off very quickly, at the beginning, with his crazy antics, and now Phillip's at a whole new level of Crazy, with a capital 'C'... but man, using the Race Card, and using the 'n' word, the most reprehensible of all the words... but you never know someone's history, personal and being African American in America (a very different experience from being black and living elsewhere in the world, where the colour of someone's skin is not the issue it is in the US... a sad state of affairs, in 2011, to be sure... ). Hard to watch. And I felt for Steve, too, because he is clearly not a racist, and in no way implied anything like that... but very interesting that Jeff Probst talked openly at the Tribal Council -- too often, people are afraid to bring up the issue, but there it is, alive and well, still sitting there.

I've been reading The Help, by Kathryn Stockett, this week, and man, is it a powerful book. I happened upon it in an article by Stephen King, where he gave a list of his favorite new books... so lucky, because I hadn't heard of The Help before that, and I'll tell you, I can't put it down. It's one of those great reads you're always looking for, and it deals with the Civil Rights Movement, a subject matter near and dear to my heart. I am horrified by the racism I see in California... it's shocking.

So back to Survivor... what's the deal on Redemption Island, now? If three people were there, and two survive the contest (Mike and Matt), then Julie is sent over to Redemption Island, tonight, and two people always remain after the 'dual', does that mean that eventually two people will come back onto Survivor?? Would be sooo cool, and a real twist to the usual Survivor Strategy... interesting, right? Would change everything up, and would definitely knock Rob off his Kingly pedestal. I am always surprised when any Survivor refers to themselves as the king of anything, or even as the leader, since they are usually the next to go, but Rob is covered in Immunity Idols, lucky dog!

Well, we'll see what happens to Phillip, next week. He seems to be unravelling in front of our eyes.. going stir-crazy, perhaps? Happens to the best of us, in confined spaces. Will be interesting to see how many feathers he has in his 'cap', next week... oh, and that whole Rice deal was ludicrous... why would anyone even ask if they could put their maggot-infested, sandy rice in with someone else's rice, people they have openly ostracized, then be shocked when they said, uh, nooo...? That is crazy. Full on crazy. And from my own experience, crazy has no colour... it's open for anyone...

Okay, 'til next week... or the next show that catches my attention enough to write! lol! Ailsa xox
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Wednesday, March 30th, 2011. Wow, almost the end of March, Thank God... 3 months closer to the summer, when we can al be free, free to go to the beach (or something...! lol!) It was a fun TV night for us, tonight, since Survivor is always fun to watch, and then we watched this crazy new show on MTV, Wedding Wars. If you like Crazy, Wedding Wars if for you! The thing I love about Wedding Wars is they did not bother to waste any time trying to find any good looking people... hilarious! I say, that's lucky they all found each other, and they are actually getting married, something that doesn't happen nearly as readily as it used to, back in the day... (oh, am I only referencing my own life, now?? haha! I used to get sooo many marriage proposals, and now just finding someone you want to date, or spend more than a little tiny amount of time with... tricky!! haha!) Okay, on with The Survivor show:

Oh no, what is it with Phillip and his obsession that being a 'red-headed stepchild' is the worst thing in the world?? I feel soo sorry for all the red-headed stepchildren out there, all sad because of the Phillip-judgement... don't worry kids, you're fine, it's Phillip who is in trouble, out there on Survivor Island... and as much of a trainwreck Phillip is, he is highly, highly entertaining, and not just because of his droopy drawers, neither! haha! I loove when he goes off in front of the camera, and directly to the girls who clearly love Rob, and not Phillip... a little jealousy, perhaps?? But I laughed soo hard when Phillip was so excited about going over to watch the 'battle' on Redemption Island, and Boston Rob says he had to go, too, to babysit his assss... hilarious! Now that's my kind of TV! lol!

Ah, well. Phillip is still there, and angry little Stephanie is gone.. I think Matt really does have God on his side! lol! I really like Matt, now, so I hope he just keeps winning on Redemption Island, so he can really get back in the game. Surita was an odd duck, not really having much of a response for being voted out to Redemption Island... aren't you supposed to go out fighting?? Do not go gentle into that good night, and all that? And I really like the comraderie between Boston Rob and Grant... it looks like they'll become lifelong friends (but you can never speak too soon in the game of Survivor, right?? lol!). Will be very interesting, next week, when the two teams merge, and everyone gets a new buff... always exciting to see who connects with each other, especially David and Phillip, the 'flippers'. Like little dolphins! haha! See you soon, Ailsa xox
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Sunday, March 20th, 2011... Is the Super-Moon still out?? How you doin'?? haha! Let's hope it affected you in the most positive way, and you haven't experienced any excessive hair-growth, or nuthin'! lol! So we were just watching The Real Housewives of Orange County, and, man, what a throw-back to the olden days, down there in The O.C., with a little plastic surgery twist... and some old-world Christian Dogma thrown in...

So THAT'S how you get to Jesus Lane!! Who knew it still existed?? You just need to drive down to The O.C., and go as FAR Right as you can, and there you go, you've found it! lol! I thought they bulldozed that in the '50's, what with wives being entirely subservient to their husbands... but it's alive and well in The O.C. Really, I am amazed that they don't sell T-shirts with two giant oranges in the front, Hooters Style, for all the women to wear in Orange County... haha! I laugh, because the chances are extremely high that I would not only WEAR a T-shirt with oranges on the front of it, but I would want one with the 'scratch 'n sniff' feature, AND I would want to manufacture and sell them! lol! What can I say, I'm a business girl at heart... and I love to wear great T-shirts! hahaha!

Soo many great stories on The Housewives of Orange County, tonight... man, we love that show, and I particularly love Andy Cohen, and his After the Show, as well... and I loove that Andy Cohen loves Mama Elsa (and not only because it's soo much fun to hear a version of my name -- Ailsa/Elsa -- on National TV. Very rare. So extra fun for me! But here's the main difference between me and Mama Elsa on The Housewives of Miami... well, a few little differences... I don't have any surgery (does the episiotomy count?? hahaha! TMI?? haha!), I'm a little younger, and I firmly believe that Andy Cohen will definitely find love, and I believe he will find love, this year!! WooHoo!! (Oooh, I hope I do, too! One can always hope, am I right?? lol!) But we can't wait for Tuesdays Housewives of Miami, because I am obsessed with looking at the girls (ages questionable! lol!) to see if I can figure out exactly what work they've had done... I am endlessly fascinated by that, for whatever reason. I think I am secretly measuring myself up against them!! hahaha!

Oh, and speaking of measuring yourself up against these Orange County Housewives, what's the deal with the giant fake boobs?? What passage in the Bible do they say to do that, and thou shalt find a rich husband?? hahaha! Hilariously enough, back when I was married, I wrote a tongue-in-cheek article about how to marry rich (or at least find a partner who can handle their money... and you know what else I say about a man and his money -- if he's tight with his money, he'll be tight with his love, so watch out, ladies, you don't want either one of those traits... waaay too annoying. Oh, and that reminds me, looks like Tamra's new 'boyfriend' (hilarious to me when anyone past high school still refer to their partner as a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend'... grow up, already... say lover, or something... lol!! haha! (Okay, I guess that little joke is just for me, 'cause I'm really laughing, now...! haha!) Okay, I sorry, I digress, yet again... when Eddie is extra-amorous at the restaurant, with lots of PDA, and then quickly downs that entire glass o' wine before he gets in the tub with Tamra... well, let's just say, I think he picked up the bill at the restaurant, too! He didn't appear tight with his money, and definitely not tight with his love! hahaha!

So how long will 'Princess' Gretchen stay with old fatty, Slade?? haha! Man, how many times did she call him a fatty?? Hilarious! You NEVER hear a man called out for his weight, so this was highly entertaining for me, and I wonder how much he gets on HER for her weight, or whatever other myriad of issues she might have? I loved that her gay guy friends got the truth about their sex life, completely different fromt the 'sex god' stories she was telling the girls... sooo funny. They love to one-up the other, those crazy goils... I wonder who really wins??

Okay, that's enough OC for one night... hey, was it just me, or is the OC overly white?? Where's everybody else?? It's California, US, sooo, where's everybody else, me wonders?? Hmm... does not seem right... well, go make up some stories to tell your own friends (two different versions, depending on level of truth and friendship...!) See you soon, Ailsa xox

Monday, March 14th, 2011... ruh-roh, it's almost The Ides of March, the scariest day, ever.. I'm extra-careful on The Ides of March, because look at what happened to Julius Caesar, and he didn't see THAT coming, and I've just recently been stabbed in the back by someone I really trusted, too, so tomorrow I'll REALLY be watching my back.. you can never be too careful, right?? Beware the Ides of March rings true for me.. watch out, March 15th!! lol! I'm gonna try and let the day slide by... wish me luck with that, I'm not that good at 'letting the day slide by'...

So my lovely daughter, Cara, and I were watching The Bachelor Finale and the 'After the Rose' show, tonight, and what a shocker... The Bachelor may or may not be engaged?? Say it ain't so... so Brad Womack finally chose Emily (I called it, I called it... not gloatingly, though, since, by the end, I was secretly hoping he would choose Chantal, since she clearly would have bent over backwards for him, and he's the kind of guy who would demand that...). But Emily is suuuch a beautiful girl, and she had a little inkling about his temper during their last 'date' before he proposed to her, when she was asking him some pretty basic questions about parenting, and he got so agitated, he had to mop his whole head and neck with a towel (hilarious!! haha!)... poor Brad. It ain't easy to answer questions you haven't prepared for... so now on the After the Final Rose show, Emily appears without her engagement ring on (a spectacular engagement ring, too... although I liked the other two engagement rings better, frankly! lol!), and at the end, Brad brings the ring out of his pocket, says he's had it 'resized', and says, 'here's your ring back'... so what does that mean? Emily gave it back in the middle of a fight? He asked for it back after a fight? Do you get to ask for an engagement ring back?? Hmmm... these are the important questions! lol! Well, we'll see if there's a wedding... seems highly doubtful... maybe Chantal will win out in the end! A girl can always hope! haha!

So I've had a particularly difficult time, lately, and it's hard to know what to say, and what not to say... rest assured, I'll tell you all about it as soon as I can, because I know, for sure, I'm not the only one dealing with betrayal on all sorts of levels, the kinds of betrayal that rock your world (no, unfortunately, not in the good way! lol!), that turn your whole life upside down, and then you have to start all over again. Well, I hope you sail through The Ides of March, and have a lovely, carefree day!! No back-stabbers allowed! Screw off, back-stabbers!! haha! Yes, that ought to ward them off! (If only it were this easy... maybe I'll write up a sign, or something, or take that stooopid target off my back... must be something I can do to save myself!! lol!)

Sunday, February 27th, 20011, Oscar Night in Hollywood... Omg, what, were they saving money by having a couple of actors fill in for a fantastic comedian?? WTF?? Never again, me hopes... there wasn't a decent laugh of the night until Billy Crystal came out, and did you notice he got a standing ovation from the entire audience?? They were probably really excited that someone would actually start entertaining them... puh-leease, leave the acting to the actors, and the comedy to the comedians.. and there are soo many great comedians... Steve Martin, Billy Crystal, Jimmy Fallon, Ellen DeGeneres, Ricky Gervais.... ugh. So many funny people, and Anne Hathawy is chosen... and James Franco...that wee bit where she wore the tux and he wore the dress was funny, and I had just said to Cara, my lovely daughter, the only thing that could make this part funny is if James Franco comes out wearing her dress, since she's clearly stolen his tuxedo... and out he came in a dress... hmmmm. Tedious. Bring back the funny, Oscar Awards Show people... and everyone won who you knew would win... the usual... but why wasn't Despicable Me at least nominated for teh Best in Animation Award? It was hiiliarious! I think it might've been me favourite movie of the year -- or at least, the most enjoyable!

Oh, and Cara has a wee joke for you, since she's not going to bother writing about the (yaaawn) Oscars... Anne Hath-a-way of being boring... think olde English on that one! lol! Poor Anne, she's great in movies, especially for kids, they just should've chosen a comedian, not actors, to host the Oscars.

I'm gonna go get the link for Ricky Gervais' hilarious little piece he had jokingly written for the Anne Hathaway/James Franco opening to the Oscars... it's really funny, so if you didn't get your quota of laughs in, tonight, you'll get them reading this... I'll go find it, but in the meantime, you could Google Ricky Gervais' Oscar Speech', and see what comes up! lol! Okay, got the link for you -- it's soo funny! We loove Ricky Gervais, and we love Karl Pilkington, so if you haven't seen An Idiot Abroad, and you fancy a laugh and a quick trip around the globe from the comfort of your own home (or someone else's...), there's a link to that on Ricky Gervais' blog and website, too.... and An Idiot Abroad on the Science Channel, on Saturday nights... we just DVR it, so we can watch it whenever we like (now, how do people manage in the Third World without DVR? Also, food and water, and some education... no, I kid. That's not funny... I'll write a cheque to cover that joke, fer sures... ). Okay, see you after The Bachelor!! lol! (I only write about the deepest of shows...! Ailsa xox! :) And, yes, I am writing about The Bachelor, Brad Womack: Man or Machine, You Be the Judge! haha!
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Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011.. Wow, is February flying past? Maybe it's onot only the shortest month, but the fastest month, too? Maybe having a holiday as earth-shattering as stooopid Valentine's Day right schmack in the middle helps get us through it faster! lol! Well, you know I love me some Survivor, and I find it is THE best remedy for a long winter, whatever your weather is... the weeks seem to fly by, and before you know it, it's Wednesday, again, and Survivor is on (this gives you a little insight into my fancy life!! hahaha!) So here we go with a little Survivor: Redemption Island Updaye... Shockingly, Phillip, Secret A-Gent Man, Former FBI man, orange undy-wearin' Phillip, survived the Tribal Council on Survivor, tonight -- lucky Franscesta! At least she just has pleasant little Matt to keep her company on Redemption Island (which looks like 'comfy-cozy' island, to me... looks like a little hut, a bed of some sort, and a flint, a little rice... not that bad, for Survivor, and now that I think of it, why did the Survivors get soo many supplies when they first arrived on the Island? (Must find out where they are! lol! Is it a special secret? A secret we're not privy to, me wonders?? haha! Well, I try to find out fer youse!!)

But fer real, why so much stuff for the Survivors?? A basket full of tools for building? I wouldda loooved that! You know I love designing and building houses!! haha! I like them a little more elaborate than a hut on the beach, but that's starting to sound pretty good to me, right about now (Funk Show Brothers... lol!).

Omg, I hate Russell, already. He's too skeevy for me... is that a word in America?? haha! Well, you'll guess what it means! I hate the way he chooses two pretty wee things, and is all gross and flirty with them... yuck! Isn't he still married?? Yuck! And isn't Russell still a millionaire? Give the million dollar prize to someone who needs it... or at least someone not creepy... so I think I like Ralph on Russell's team, he seems like a really good worker, and I like that in a person, not lazy ... we canny remember the team names, this Season, so we call them the Omelets and I call the other team the Zolofts... I think I'm sorta right, or right enough for me to tell them apart! haha! Really, it just amounts to Russell's team and Boston Rob's team, right? Oh, and I really like Mike, the fellow who served in Iraq... now there's a guy (and not just because he's good looking, but mostly because of that!! hahaha!) who should win a million dollars!! He's probably nice under those muscles, too... I'm just guessing... I don't really care.. the muscly part is good enough for me (I'm deep like that! hahaha!).

I do enjoy that girl (I use the term 'girl' fairly loosely, hre...), Kristina... man, you know she's had a breast aug, and she wore her bikini to the Tribal Council, so you know that means she thinks she is hot stuff, baby... I looove that. Maybe she used to be, and remembers those days.. I was sure she and Phillip wouldda struck up a little sumthin' sumthin'... if only Phillip had stopped talking, and calling so many meetings 'Uh, if I could have your attention over here...'... Ah, no, no one gets any attention in a casual group when you have to ASK (or, more accurately, demand) for their attention.. too weird for words... awkward... socially awkward... poor Phillip, he appears to mean well. Wonder what his longest relationship has ever been? Although, some women can put up with anything... who knows? I love to know stuff like that -- let's me know a lot about a person... if 3 weeks is youse longest relationship, ever, ruh-roh, you might not do all that well on Survivor... it's all about knowing how to keep yourself and the other person happy, right? Easy schmeasy... or is it?? hahahaha! (I'm twice divorced, so apparently, not always easy to stay happy... but I always like to give it a really good try!! lol!).

I did love how furious Andrea is at Boston Rob for secretly arranging to have her 'new boyfriend', Matt, voted off to Redemption Island... hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and ain't that the truth!! hahahaha! It'll be very interesting to see what kind of wrath Andrea pulls out her bag o' tricks, next week, to get back at Rob for taking away her new love interest... will be fun to watch!! It's the human drama I love soo much in Survivor!! (That, and Jeff Probst!! lol!) Until we meet, again, (soon, I hope!! haha!) Ailsa xox! :) And, yes, I am writing about The Bachelor, Brad Womack: Man or Machine, You Be the Judge! haha!
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Thursday, February 18th, 2011. Hello there, you Lovely... I hope you are doing well, and survived the horror that is called 'Valentine's Day'... ugh. Worst holiday, ever! Designed to screw everyone over, the 'in love', the 'not in love', the 'in love but it's a secret'.... everyone gets hurt, except for the really little kids, where the teacher forces them to give ALL the kids in the class a card... really, they should give Valentine's Day a new name -- "Go F Yourself Day', or something equally cheery... think that'll catch on with the Greeting Card industry? No??? hahaha! You know what 'greetin' means in Scotland? Crying. So it could be perceived, if, say, the 'Greetin' Card Industry, if it were Scottish, really translated to 'The Crying Card Industry... would be hilarious (well, would be hilarious to me... lol! Ah, well, it's over now, and I'm sure everyone's happy about that... but I wonder how many break-ups are caused by Valentine's Day?? Or how many already-crappy relationships are shown in their true light on Valentine's Day? One way or another, it's a day many of us could do without, fer sures!

So Survivor: Redemption Island started, last night.. I was gonna write about it, last night, then all of a sudden, I couldn't be bothered... it's not like I didn't enjoy Survivor, I did, and I always do, but all those 'ads' about the 'What ifs' really irritated me... And I didn't realize that Shambo was only 45 when she did Survivor... man, that's younger than me... old enough to get a decent hair cut, right? haha! Ah, well. But there was something about seeing Russel doing the same old, same old, choosing a young girl to make his pet, drag her along to the end, that just irritated me... ruh-roh, that's the second time I've used the word 'irritate' in one paragraph, about the same thing.. not a good sign! lol! But I do like Boston Rob, and I loved the saggy orange undies the men seemed to be wearing.. really, you're going on Survivor, wouldn't you wear some undies that fit well, or at least accentuate you a little, rather than the saggiest of all da undies you own?? hahaha! And why are some people STILL arriving on Survivor with high heels?? Come on, every meeting you go to that is called by the Survivor show, be prepared to be magically whisked off to God Knows Where, and wear some running shoes (and nice undies!)... and I would go GET a pair of glasses, just so you could have them to start a fire, in case your team doesn't win the flint right away...

Anyway, I am completely glad that Survivor: Redemption Island, is back on the air, and I really, really hope that Jeff Probst stays with Survivor, forever, because we looove Jeff Probst, and Survivor wouldn't be the same without him (and not just because of his very handsome dimples, neither... he talks good, too! hahaha!) We loved Jeff Probst on Jimmy Fallon (Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, one of our favourite, favourite shows!), and it would be hilarious to see Jimmy Fallon on a Celebrity, shortened version of Survivor (maybe with all the chocolate you can eat, or sumthin' equally as enticing as that.. maybe that's just something that would lure me in, not necessarily Jimmy Fallon...! haha!).

So Francesca (Franchesta, no, wait, I'll get it... Frantesta.... oh, just go with 'Fran' says da stupiest Survivors, who haven't taken the time to learn how to spell... but at least they didn't do my favourite, favourite thing before the Tribal Council... 'Hey, how do you spell your name, again,? I want to get it right when I VOTE YOU OUT, tonight...)was voted 'off' to Redemption Island... will be very interesting to see how the contestants (Survivors, each and every one of them...) manage all on their own (and a small camera crew, which would mean at least someone is there to film any leopard attacks, and whatnot...) do when they only have their own self to cope... sooo many contestants on Survivor are 'riders'... they ride along on someone else's coattails, never building a fire, never finding food, never helping around the camp... I hate those loafers.. get off yer asss and help, I say to the TV... (which sometimes answers me, but not consistently.... seems to be 'beer-related'... buh-dum-bum... hahaha!) Okay, I'm moving into silly, so it must be time to stop... I hope you are all Surviving your own life, and having a good time.. I would have said, 'having a great time', but, really, most of us would settle for just having a pretty good time, most of the time, and that would be great!! haha! Okay, I take that back... go have a GREAT time, ALL the time!! lol! Ailsa xox! :) And, yes, I am writing about The Bachelor, Brad Womack: Man or Machine, You Be the Judge! haha!
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Snnday, January 30th, 2011... Well, I'm mad, tonight, and all over a stoopid Reality TV Show, that Bridalplasty... ugh! If you've known me for a while (and I hope you have, and if you're just meeting me, hello, and I think I feel a special connection between us, already... or was that the drink I just had... no matter, they're both good feelings, right?? haha! Anyway, I cannot abide by unfair anything. It riles me. I like all of life to be fair, and I find it very offensive when life is not fair, and apparently, that goes for Reality TV shows, too! lol! Whatever. And I like and value human decency.. it's very important to me, so when things fly in the face of how I want (mostly, wish!!) things to be, well, watch out. I might just write something about it!! haha! You know what they say about Angry Canadians... you better be careful, because they might write a letter to somebody about it!! And then there'll be trouble!! haha! Okay, that said, here's the last installment of Bridalplasty for your reading pleasure...! lol!

Omg, what a ripoff Bridalplasty was, tonight. Allyson won the biggest, fanciest, wedding of her dreams, puny as they may be, which clearly don't include getting a job... ugh. They just wanted to show the girl with the most transformations, not an actual WINNER. No competition allowed, because then Allyson would NEVER have won. Puh-leeease. Why didn't they just call it Fat Farm, and get it over with?? The laziest, do-nothing girl wins the wedding day... man, why didn't they just get ALL heavy girls?? And after her horrific language during the 'speeches'??? Ugh! What kind of lower-class moron speaks like that?? That's disgusting. I would LOVE to see pictures of her NOW, and six months from now, and guaranteed, she'll look exactly like she did when Allyson entered the Bridalplasty house. Ugh. I'm soo mad that we watched for all those weeks, thinking there really WAS a competition, and it was all in fun. Ugh. Man, I just canny hide me disgust, that someone that vulgar would have won such a pretty wedding. Why didn't they give her some etiquette lessons, teach her how to write (did you see, when she was asked to 'write a speech', she didn't have a clue what to write, so she didn't write anything? WTF?? But it's the foul, horrible language Allyson used, sooo readily, when the other 'brides-to-be' were asking questions, when Allyson was fighting with Janessa... pure filth. And why didn't they give her some JOB TRAINING, or some parenting skills, since I didn't see her say too much about her children in all the time she was away from them -- what mother doesn't miss her children terribly when they are away from her??? Ugh. (How many times have I said 'ugh', now?? lol! Not enough!!)

If they wanted to show 'most improved under the knife', why didn't they choose Alexandra, who has a very pretty face (but she has a terrible tongue, too...), or Lisa Marie?? Man, they could've done massive improvements on Lisa Marie. Why bother going through all the ruse of Bridalplasty, if the producers had already chosen the one they wanted to makeover, from the beginning?? I know it's Reality TV, and you always think 'hey, is this thing rigged so the right sex wins, or the right size wins, or the right color wins, this time around (a theory of one of my friends...). Then it's no fun, any more. Why root for anybody, if the whole damn thing is fixed?? What up with that, Bridalplasty??

I thought it was interesting at the end, when they were showing how much was spent on each individual item for the 'Dream Wedding', and no cost was attached for Catering. Really? Is catering free, now? That's typically the most expensive aspect of the wedding... and the Venue was FREE? Not in California, it isn't. NOTHING is free in Hollywood. Everything comes with a price.

Did you see all the 'couples' at Allyson's wedding? Would have been waaay funnier if all of the girls had different men on their arms, but that's just cynical me... sowwy! I was looking for something good in the show... but nothing. Poor Janessa. She would've seen through this as it was happening.. Janessa must be piiisssed. Even more than Cheyenne. Do you think even Cheyenne realized the ruse by the time Allyson's wedding rolled around?? That none of the other girls stood a chance? Why didn't they call it 'My Fair Lady'.. really, I want to say, why didn't they call it 'My Fat Lady', but how much twouble will I get into for saying the truth out loud??? haha! Whatever. I've been a fatty, and I went to the GYM, and changed my eating habits, just like everyone else who has successfully lost the weight... it's in not insurmountable... You can't look at that show and not see it for what it is, now.. really, all Allyson ever needed to do was go to the gym (d'uh), and get her teeth fixed.

Will I stop watching Reality TV after this Bridalplsty charade? No. I looove Reality TV. It's entertaining, and it's fun to write about... I just hope that if they bother to produce this show, again, they have competitions that are fair and square. And I hope Janessa gets to go on the talkshows, too, so she can say her piece, because I'm pretty sure she'll have something to say about Allyson winning over her... even a coin toss would've had more fairness to it. And those brides really went to town on Janessa... that was a lot of swearing, from these 'lovely' ladies... and I use the word 'ladies', very, very loosely! haha!

Well, Bridalplasty's over, and Allyson had her Dream Wedding -- how long do you think the marriage will last?? As long as the weight stays off? Whatever. In light of this very annoying ruse, they should've let each Bride-to-Be take all the things they had accumulated by the time they were 'voted off', home with them, the wedding dresses, the money, the trips, their teeth -- that would've been a fair thing to do, a little compensation for their time. Maybe that's why they couldn't call Bridalplasty 'My FAIR Lady', since there was nothing fair about it... otay, dat all da bitterness out!! haha! And I would've been happy if Allyson had won in an honest way... surely they could have rigged it up to at least look fair... after all, it's a show for WOMEN, and we hate being treated unfairly! Ugh. There. That's my last 'ugh! of da evening!! I think I'll go have a Bailey's, watch some news, get me brain back on track!! lol! Ailsa xox! :) And, yes, I am writing about The Bachelor, Brad Womack: Man or Machine, You Be the Judge! haha!
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Sunday, January 23rd, 2011... Can you believe that, 2011? I just heard on the news, tonight, that 1981 was THIRTY years ago!! Say it ain't so!! Man, that doesn't seem all that long ago, to me! hahaha! It's the craziest thing, this thing they call 'time'... good thing I don't lay about, wasting it... lol! Speaking of wasting a fair bit o' my time, I was watching Bridalplasty, tonight... man, I love those shows... they're hilarious! Very entertaining, and no thinking necessary, so it's like a little vacation for your mind, if you know what I mean... lol! So here's my little take on the girls on Bridalplasty, tonight... for your enjoyment! :) (And it's on my new blog, http://buildyourownhousebodylife.blogspot.com, if you're like to see more pictures... much easier and faster for me to add pictures and such to my blog than to my site!)

So how on earth did Allyson get to be the final bride to get to choose the last two brides standing??? Seems grossly unfair, and I do mean 'grossly'... Why no competition to get to the Final Two?? What, did the producers of Bridalplasty think, 'Ah, screw it, let's just leave this up to...uh,... Allyson, she's such a hard worker. Why, the work ethic of Allyson is soo strong, she deserves to have the final say...'. Hmm. Seems highly questionable... as was the decision to have the girls ask each other the questions... hilarious. Even funnier that Janessa and booooring Dominique devised a clever little scheme that no-one could see through, no one would ever suspect, of rubbing their throats if they didn't know the answer, running their fingers through their hair if they did know the answer... and I didn't see anyone run their fingers through their hair, tonight!! But it did look like Janessa and Dominique had very, very scratchy throats! hahaha! Oh, these girls... they're soo entertaining!

And I've gotta say, I looved Dominique's sad, sad tale of sibling rivalry and sisterly jealousy, what with her horrible parents spending ALL their money on Dominique's SISTER'S wedding, leaving nothing for her parents to pay for HER wedding. Hmm. I'm just throwin' this out there, but isn't it 2011? Aren't women free to WORK for a living, and wouldn't it be wise to choose a man who has the ability to save a little money of his own, and, gasp, pay for your own wedding?? hahaha! These goils! Hilarious that they want everyone else to do all the work for them, including losing the weight (Allyson, through the magic of liposuction -- exercise is such a hassle...)....

Poor Cheyenne, she had to go home, tonight, after so cruelly being asked too many questions she had no idea how to answer... 'What is your mother-in-law's middle name?' Man, I wouldda failed that, too, because, as you might have guessed, I gave my two mother-in-laws-to-be my own names for them... oh, dat not very nice!! But I had to keep myself amused, or else there wouldn't have BEEN a wedding, either time, if you knows what I mean!! The mother-in-law thing is not always as rosy as one might like it to be... and the only reason I can think of asking all those questions about names would be to decide on a name for future children, but the chances of a Mom naming her child after someone she actively tries to avoid... very slim odds on that! So I guess I wouldda failed that test, too! But something tells me that Cheyenne is okay for cash, and will definitely have a fancy wedding, and most likely, not at her own expense... and Cara, my lovely daughter (we watch all these shows together, and laugh and laugh, all very catty! lol!), was telling me that Cheyenne is from New Jersey, and then I said, oh, I thought Cheyenne was from Florida, since she has such a great tan, then I remembered (like a light bulb! haha!), GTL. Gym Tan Laundry, from our friends over at the Jersey Shore... but in Cheyenne's case, it would have to just be 'GT', Gym Tan, since we all know Cheyenne hates doing da laundry! haahaha! (Otay, sowwy, dat joke is jus' for me! I tryin' to make meself laugh!! Cheer meself up!!)

So Allyson, all powered up, chooses her 'nemesis', Janessa to go to the Finals next week. Think the producers told her to do that?? Man, that irks me that there wasn't a fair competition... I looved the flower arranging competition, with duller-than-sin Mary-Beth... no, that's not right, that just sounds like a dull name (sorry, all the Mary-Beths who have just stopped reading me blog!!) Lisa Marie... I knew it was a double-barrelled name... but remember when Lisa Marie just couldn't figure out how to put some flowers together into a bouquet?? Hilarious! I love that level of incompetence -- it's endlessly amusing to me! hahaha! Reminds me of the games they used to play on Monty Python, where the idiots would run the course, try to stop and take a ladies bra off a dummy, and would struggle and struggle... all the Monty Python fans will remember that scene! So silly! lol!

Only one week to go... who will win the fanciest schmanciest wedding, ever?? Will it be Janessa or Allyson?? Could you tell from the bride walking down the aisle at the end of the show? She had mega-skinny shoulders, so it is either Janessa, or Allyson has had the all the fat liposuctioned away, so now she looks just like Janessa!! haha! Well, I guess we'll know soon enough, and THEN what will we watch? The Kardashians?? lol! (Yes, of course we will watch the Kardashians.. we're trying to see just how big is Kim's behind, now??? hahahaha! It's the important questions I ask!! hahaha!) Ailsa xox! :) And, yes, I am writing about The Bachelor, Brad Womack: Man or Machine, You Be the Judge! haha!
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Monday, January 17th, 2011... Happy Martin Luther King Day!! It's a great day to celebrate equality... and I hope equality is celebrated every day... but here's my little 'take' on that new, hilarious, show, Bridalplasty, where the girls are actually competing to get plastic surgery to look better (and bigger! lol!) for their weddings, and to win a really big, fancy wedding... Cara and I watch it, together, and we laugh and laugh.... then I come through here and write and write... haha! Please to enjoy...

So Janessa's not satisfied with her sex life?? Ruh-roh! I think that comes under the category: Things Not to Say to Your Fiance, shortly before the wedding...! And Allyson isn't satisfied with her sex life, either?? And neither is Kristen's Fiance?? Man, those are some seriously young people to be malcontents in the bedroom (or kitchen, but obviously not the laundry room, for Cheyenne, who sounds like she wouldn't be caught dead in da laundry room... and her fiance is piiisssed about that!! haha1 Come on, Cheyenne's a Fancy Girl. They're traditionally not that great at household chores... and I loved the whole line of questioning, for their special lie detector tests, about whether they got along with their in-laws.. who cares?? There would maybe be three weddings per year, if everyone loved their in-laws, and had no problems, at all... mariage isn't about being perfect, it's about being as happy as you can, and finding a nice middle road where you can enjoy being together, working together toward common goals... blah, blah, blah... okay, a lot of getting married is to get out of the dating field! hahahaha! Noooo, I kid. It's all about love, and you know it!! (lol!)

Sooo, when does it pay to tell the truth in a relationship? Hmmmm... well.... in a marriage, sometimes little white lies, lies of ommission, are there to save the marriage. Your partner sucks in bed (or doesn't...), if you're planning to stay in the marriage, or still hoping the marriage will go through, keep that secret to yourself... maybe tell your best friend, if they can keep their mouth shut, but otherwise, you'll just be hurting someone's feelings (and maybe you're marrying someone, or are married to someone, for different reasons, like their money... buh-dum-bum! hahaha!). (I love yo'..... (big pause).... money... hey, it happens! More often than not!)

Hey, you know a great way to learn about sex? That's right, read about it! hahaha! I call that 'safe sex'!! Gee, I was sure there was a book called 'The Story of J', or 'The Story of M'... man, canny remember, now, it's been about 25 years since I've read those!! (Although, I suppose I could write my own 'Story of M', but that might make him mad!! hahaha! Whatever.. that's where those little white lies come in, right? They're handy, and useful... and the truth just gets you into trouble, anyway, occasionally...! lol! Okay, hope the book covers weren't too graphic for you!! Sowwwy! And I've never read the 'new' Story of O, so might check that out, meself...

Wow, did you see Allyson's new teeth?? Why didn't she get that done, first, in case she had been voted off, earlier?? But that was heartwarming, to see Allyson get her teeth all fixed up, but a sad statement on American Healthcare, and Dental Health in the US, that she had been walking around with decayed teeth and abscessed teeth... that's horrifying. In a First World Country, for Goodness Sake. Was that a personal choice, or aren't there dental schools, or some low-cost dentistry that might be available?? Man, good, healthy teeth can't only be for the well-employed or the wealthy. That's crazy. So I was very, very happy to see Allyson get a whole new set of teeth -- she looked great! And her cheeks look really nice, now, too --Allyson's the one with the most obvious improvements in the whole Bridalplasty House...

Ruh-roh, really hope those pictures aren't too terrible for you!! The cover used to be really plain, so you could read it on the bus, no worries!! Now you'll never be able to read this on the bus -- maybe you can read it on the plane!! The person beside you is sure to give you a little extra room -- or way less room, if you know what I mean! (Yick!! How often have you sat next to someone attractive on a plane?? Well, now that I think of it, I guess I have sat next to some very attractive men, over the years.. and once, when I happened to be traveling First Class... a long story... the fellow I was sitting beside had proposed by the end of the flight, but back then, in my late twenties and early thirties, that was sort of par for the course... I've had a lot of proposals over the years (lol!)... not sure why they're not pouring in, anymore!! Boooo! I like being given the choice of a proposal! haha! They're fun! (Oh, most of the proposals stopped after I got married! hahaha! But I'm divorced, now, so you'd think they wouldda started up again, right?? lol!)

Okay, I've probably said too much! Or not quite enough.. lol! Go have some fun and make an indecent proposal of your own... or make the proposal and then have some decent fun... for the more traditional folks in da house!! Ailsa xox! :)
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Sunday, January 9th, 2011...You're Cut Off!!! is this new reality TV show, in it's second season, I think... well, it's the second season for me, since I just started watching these shows when Cara got me into them... it's great to have a twenty-something in your house to keep you young! haha! So we watch all these crazy shows, together, and laugh our way through them... and now, because we are also watching Bridalplasty, we're checking out everybody to see who's had what done to themselves... boob jobs, nose jobs, new cheeks (upstairs and down! hahaha!), all sorts of people are having work done on themselves, now... whatever happened to loving the person you were born to be?? A little weird, but these shows are highly entertaining! So here's my little take on You're Cut Off! If you want to catch it, it's on Sunday Nights at 9:00pm, on the E! Network, I think... I'll have to check that for ou!! lol! ... but I think you'll enjoy this whether you've seen the show, or not, especially if you've ever wondered, as most of us parents have, from time to time, have I spoiled my child, too much?? Have I spoiled them soo much, that now they've gone rotten, just like the fruit?? lol! I have some great pictures to go along with this article... they're on my blog, http://buildyourownhousebodylife.blogspot.com, if you'd like to pop in to see them over thre... and there's the Daily Puppy, too, that, frankly, I think might be more for me than you, unless you, too, happen to adore baby puppies!! hahaha! Sooo, enjoy...

Oh, you crazy spoiled girls with jacked up teeth... how'd you get on TV?? Mommy and Daddy paid your way?? hahahaha! (Otay, dat joke jus' for me! haha!) (That's what happens when I write when I'm giddy, sort of like the drunk girl ... now why is there always a drunk girl?? -- fighting over her baked potato... but didn't she look more stoned than drunk, or is that what the truly stooopid look like, when they're eating a baked potato with their mouth open??? Eeewww! These 'rich girls' don't have any class... or maybe they dooo... you know what titles they scrubbed for You're Cut Off!? Classy Ladies. Cleaning Chicks. Women on the Move. Rich Bitch... oh, wait, that one might still work... maybe for a spin off show! lol!

You know I love these reality shows, where everyone's there for the right reason, like the tall skinny one with the rapper boyfriend, who kept saying she was spending soo much of his money -- really, do these really look like monied girls to you? Nope. Well, the beauty pageant Queen with the hopes of being the President's wife... any president, or this president, 'cause she's gonna have a very big fight with Michelle Obama if she tries to go there..., plus, she'd have to get behind me and a zillion other women who have already thought of that during the election! hahaha! (Like the picture?? I just thought you might like a little look at a nice, handsome man... not for any of these crazy girls! hahaha!)

So, seriously, what was with al the jacked up teeth??? They have all that money for designer purses, designer shoes, and designer clothes, and all day at the spa (God, I hate going to the spa... I can't imagine a more annoying day...) Okay, I'm up too late, and I was looking for a great designer purse for you, and I happened to come across this beeeauuuteefulGenuine Leather Belt Bag, for only $8.92. Oh, I would die laughing if I could get one of these fancy schmancies to wear a fanny pack!! hahaha! Now that really appeals to my sense of humour!

Hey, why don't any of these girls know how to do anything around the house?? That's pathetic. Everyone needs to know the basics of home maintenance, in case your butler is out for the evening, or something, right?? haha! Or maybe you haven't hired him, yet?? No worries, you will soon, and when you do, and he has his one night off a year (because you are nothing, if not caring...), and then your toilet seat falls off... and you happen to have a spare one lying about... how will you put it on?? And does that require actually touching said toilet??? Eeeewww! No, not eeewww, just clean the damn thing, first, right?? Get your self a screw driver, a brain, and read the directions, and whammo, a usable toilet seat!! See how easy??

Was interesting that they seemed to have to install their own shower head, too... you know that was one of the last things I got Dwight to show me, right before I left (he's my ex-husband, now, but still a great plumber! lol!)... anyway, I was crazy in love with... my shower head!! No kidding! It's a Kohler Showerhead, and I have literally brought it to every place I've lived for years and years... it's fantastic when you find a great showerhead, but it would be nice if I could find a marriage that would last longer than the showerhead, right?? hahahaha!

I'll do a new page, one day, and show you how to change your own showerhead, but basically, you unscrew the head of the showerhead (oh, yes, for da plumbing-impaired, turn da shower off, first... lol!!!), if it's one of those small showerheads, (I love an hand-held showerhead, of course!), then there are really only two sections to screw in... one onto the fixture on the wall (you can't possibly miss it, it's the big part), and the other is at the base of the showerhead, to attach the hose. It's really easy, and soon you'll be your own plumber!! Go on and fire the butler! He's always up in your business, anyway!! haha!

Well, I love these 'rich girls'... it makes me laugh, though, since the majority of truly rich girls don't spend a fortune on stuff that won't appreciate in value... they just don't. They'll have some nice items in their closets, have a nice car, and most likely a lovely home (I hope!!), but wasting money on ridicuolous items is more likely done by people with the least amount of money to spend, trying to look rich.

I remember this one time, in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, when Dwight and I were in the middle of building our gorgeous 5400 square foot home (which I designed!! Yahoo!), and I had on my boots, which mightta' had some mud on them, and I went into this jewelry store to buy something nice for my Mother, and the saleslady was sooo rude to me, when I was looking at the really pretty jewelry, the 'real' stones, and she told me I better move to the other end of the counter to the 'faux' jewelry... what a beee-yotch. She was so condescending, looking down at my boots in disgust. I looked right at her and said, "I own all the mud on these boots", and walked out, and never shopped there, again. I hate when salespeople treat their customers, any customer, with disdain. Nope. Not okay. Just be nice, 'cause you don't know what any one person really has... same thing goes for when you're dating. The guy with the fancy sports car often has less to offer (in a variety of ways!) than the man in the truck! hahahaha! (Okay, you got me, I love a man with a truck, and not just because he can help me carry building supplies back to the house!! hahaha!) (Oooh, this picture makes me miss my old house, and my old life.. but I'd definitely like to build this house, again, but the next time I build it, I'd like to build over the 4 car garage, since that's very useful space over a garage (just raise the roofline), make it a one and a half storey, so I can have a balcony over the kitchen and living room, and I would put the sunroom (I have to have a sunroom!!) off the living room, I think... or off the office... I've drawn it out, just a matter of figuring out where we'd like to live, for sure (I'm leaning strongly toward Southern Ontario, Canada, where I was raised....), but you never know, maybe ther's somewhere else for me to live, somewhere sunny?? hahaha!

Okay, I canny wait to see what crazy foibles these spoiled rich girls get themselves into, and I hope they serve more boxed wine.. only da classiest wine for da classiest ladies!! lol!Ailsa xox! :)
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Sunday, January 2nd, 2011.... Okay, you got me, I loove Bridal Plasty!! I just have to turn away, cover my eyes whenever they're doing anything gross, like trying to make a bouquet with 5 tons of feathers, or something... noooo, I kid! It's the plastic surgery I canny handle! Yick!! When they poke that suction tube under their skin for the liposuction -- ugh!! Yuck! Just go to the gym, already!! hahaha!

Janessa, you sly dog, you, and now with that new snout, man oh man, watch out, girls in da Bridal Plasty House!! Janessa's out to be Number ONE!! lol! Remember that Debbie Harry song, "I'm Gonna Be Your Number 1"?? haha! I used to always sing that, and for some bizarre reason or another, I really thought it affected the man I was with!! Made me his Number ONE!! hahahaha! (Okay, I'm just amusing myself, right now, thinking of that, and that I should totally try that again, see if it still works! hahahaha! And maybe I'll get 'something done', too... it's hard not to think of that after you've just watched Bridal Plasty, then you go look in the mirror, think, 'Hmmm, what would I look like with the tiniest nose, ever? haha! I think I'll let that thought pass me by, and I'll need to move away from L.A. as soon as possible, too, since you feel phenomenal pressure here to look perfect -- or fit someone else's idea of what is 'perfect'.. but you know what's really funny about actually living in Los Angeles, California? I really don't come across very many truly beautiful people, here. Nice people, normally attractive people, more than my share of sheer monsters (but enough about my workplace... buh-dum-bum! hahaha! Oh, I kill me! haha! No one else, yet (yes, I'm afraid of going to jail, so I never do anything illegal.... enough to go to jail, God Forbid! lol! )...

Okay, sorry about that digression.. that has never happened to me, before... that I am willing to recall ;)

So Janessa has her new nose. Could she breath after she got home in the Recovery Room? And is Allyson on some wild and crazy painkillers that are making her pretend to fly in bed with her 'new arms'?? And are her arms still hideous, or is that just me?? Yick! Why not just lift a few weights, Allyson? I know you're not weighed down by a pesky job, or nuffin'.... or perhaps more weight lifting, less cake lifting?? Oh, I'm jam packed full of practical advice like that... I wonder why da fatties don't seek my counsel, no more, eh?? hahahahaha! You know, I used to want to open a women's gym, but let's face it, I looove to work out with big muscley men... yum! They're fun to watch, and they're waaay more willing to help me place the weights for my favourite 'Get Rid of Cellulite' exercises... (even happy to help! lol!)... but here's the thing about what happens when I'm saying to a woman who might like to get rid of her cellulite, or just to slim down, in general... almost invariably, the 'lady' (and I use that term fairly loosely... haha!) says she does not want to end up looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger, when I say the best possible way to lose weight and get nice arms and legs is to lift weights... any weights, just get to lifting them, the sooner, da better.. men never assume they will immediately be pumped up from a little weight training, but women do... funny, right? How can I convince women to save their time and money, do some simple weight lifting tricks? I dinny know the answer to that... so no Women's Gym for me... maybe I'll open a Bar, instead!! Would be waaay more fun, anyway, right?? Maybe I could combine them, so you're going around the weight machines, with a cocktail in one hand, a beer in the other, getting chattier and chattier the further you get into youse workout (what workout?? haha!)... Hmmm. I'm looking for a new line of work, maybe that's what I should look into.... maybe I could serve desserts, too, since I loove to bake fancy treats... here's what I could do... I could bring in da customers with the offer of a Free Drink, show them around the weight machines, but make sure all the hotties were walking around, all hot, as hotties like to be.... then feed them full of Cheesecake and cookies, so they would leave happy, would gain back any weight they'd lost at the gym, and would be back for more the next day... see, now that's how to get repeat customers.... and all that from me wincing when I looked at poor Allyson's arms on Bridal Plasty, tongiht!! hahaha!

Netty, poor Netty, was voted out of the Bridal Plasty house, tonight... but how poor is Netty? Did you happen to see the rock on her finger? And what, exactly, did she want to have done? She was slim, pretty, lovely hair when she put it back... just a bad attitude, is all, and I'm pretty sure they canny correct for that at the Newport Beach Plastic Surgery Center, no matter how hard they try! lol! These poor girls! Too bad they can't pull a Heidi Montag, and get everything done while they're under the knife! How handy would that be?? Just get a complete make-over in one fell swoop. Would be easy... well, would be painful... and may or may not work out just like you wanted... and then you'd have to have that awkward conversation with your Mom about why you didn't like your genetic background, anymore -- just not marketable, Mom.... don't worry, your Mom will understand... maybe she can go in, too, have a few ribs removed, or something simple like that... how's the dog look? A little fat?? Ugh. Nothing worse than an unattractive dog (or not fit for the Hollywood cameras, anyway) ... plastic surgery for pooches... sounds like a great idea, no?? hahaha! Poor wee dogs! If only we could love ourselves as much as we love our little dogs!! Wouldn't that be a nice world? Reminds me, I need a new dog!! Must build a new house for new little doggie!! I'll get on that, right away! :) (That's me, by the way... I had my smile fixed -- can you tell? Now I look like every other smiley face in the world!! haha! I draw a happy face on the board at school, all the time, for my students, who are hilariously funny, and who appreciate my sense of humour... I draw the two dots for eyes and the bracket smile, and stand beside it, say to them, 'Looks just like me, right? Two eyes? I've got two eyes... a smile... just like me -- and we all laugh and laugh... it's fun wee jokes like that that make your day a wee bit brighter, no?? haha!)

Who is this digressing all the time?? Is it still me?? Ugh. This is not like me, at all. Not at all. That is the last time I have a wee drink during Bridal Plasty!! hahahaha! I laugh because that's clearly not the last time.... there are a few more episodes, so why would I even mislead you like that? Makes no sense... I so sorry. Sowwwy. Did you like the picture of Heidi Montag?? Good. She did all that work for you, so I'm glad you like it. Her, I mean. It/her, whatever. Semantics, really.

You know one of my favourite moments on Bridal Plasty, tonight?? When Allyson, Eeyore-Allyson, says to Lisa Marie, THE most boring person I think I have ever seen on TV, and thus the very best possible competition for the truly motivated Janessa.... anyway, when down-in-the-dumps-Allyson tells Lisa Marie to 'snap out of it, pick yourself up, man'!! hahahaha! Do you know how low you'd have to be for an Eeyore type to even begin to notice you needed to pick yourself up, cheer up a little?? hahaha! Oh, man, this is seriously good TV!

I gotta tell ya', I thought those bouquets they made were hilarious! Really, who doesn't know how to make a bouquet? They're not being asked how to solve World Hunger, or how to build a simple rocket ship... nope, just put some pretty flowers together in the shape of a bouquet, tie them together in some fancy way, done. Lisa Marie's sad attempt was soo hilarious, and Dominique's utter disgust for her flailing friend was fantastic. I love that.

Poor Kristen. Are those new big boobs makin' her look stooopid, or was she like that when she got there?? haha! Does she look like she's about to topple over? Wouldn't it be hilarious if the plastic surgeon had to increase your foot size for every 'D Cup' you went up, so you wouldn't just topple right over? Oh, I would laugh soo hard! Now that's the sort of thing that really appeals to my sense of humour! haha! These girls... why don't they just have a baby, and they'll have huuge breasts before they know it? They're about to get married, so just get to baby-makin', and save your money for a downpayment on a house, and you won't need to have your new giant bras custom made, either.... and why is Kristen always covering up her brand new breasts?? Always with the high neck tops and dresses, now, and how come the camera never really lets us have a good look at her? You know waht I think is really funny? Remember last week, when they kept showing Kristen with her top off, and just blurred her new boobs versus the 'old boobs'? Did anyone else happen to notice that the new boobs are pointing outward, like one said to the other, "I'll meet you 'round back", and the other boob says, 'I'm already halfway there..." haha! Really, she needs that gigantic bra just to make them stay in the middle! hahahaha!

We keep looking at Cheyenne's face to see how different her face looks with the new nose, but she's such a pretty girl, it's hard to tell. Maybe that's the mark of an excellent surgeon... you can hardly tell the difference, but you know the person looks really, really good... hmmm. Or they topple right over... one or the other! lol! Until next time, Love Thyself! To Thine Ownself Be True, and all that (yes, well, I might have made some of that up...! lol!) Oh, and Happy New Year!!! Ailsa xox! :) (See, there I am, again.. two eyes, a smile, that's me, all right... :) lol!)
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Sunday, December 20th, 2010... Survivor NiCARAgua: Fabio Wins the Million Dollars!! Yippeee!! Fabio won on Survivor, tonight! We wanted Fabio (Judd) to win sooo badly (we cheered whenever he won immunity , then we really cheered when Fabio won the million dollars, and we did not want to see Sash win, he was such a snake-in-the-grass on Survivor Nicaragua... ... but man, were you surprised by how good Sash looked at the Los Angeles CBS Studio?? Shocking! We thought it was really funny, how some contestants looked better on Survivor, out in the middle of nowhere, than they did all cleaned up on a sound set... I liked Fabio waaay better in Nicaragua, with the nice long hair, rather than the pseudo-Justin Beiber haircut, tonight... lol! (Which reminds me of the Justin Beiber doll that Andy Cohen has behind him of his Aftershow with the Housewives of Beverly Hills, one of my other favorite shows... Andy has his Justin Beiber doll dressed in a pink designer wrap dress... very funny!)

We were really happy to see Chase win the Runner up money ($100,000, right?), and Jane to win the Viewer's choice money, another $100,000. I like the way Survivor gives each contestant some money... that's only right, after all that entertaining TV! lol! But what I really wanted to know, tonight, was how old was Jane, really?? I had said to Cara, my lovely daughter (we got into Survivor when Cara was in Grade 6 -- she's 22, now! lol!), "Wow, Jane did really well for a 73 year old". And Cara laughs really hard and says she thinks she must be closer to MY age, since her daughter is about the same age as herself ... (oh, and that's how we always remembered how to spell 'NiCARAgua', since Cara's name was right in the middle of it! haha!).

So I said to Cara, how old did she think Jane was.. she says in her 50's. I relented and said maybe she's in her 60's.... she looked soo weather worn. So, of course, I Googled it, and turns out, Cara was right ... Jane is 56. Wow. That's only 9 years older than me. Shocking. Is that from smoking and too much sun damage? What makes one person look really old, and another not-so-old, me wonders? Delusion?? hahaha! (Otay, that little joke's just for me!! hahaha! You know I'm laughing, now... I loove delusion... can you imagine how horrible my life would look if I didn't have my rose coloured glasses on all the time?? lol!) So, sorry, Jane, if you ever happen to read this... she looked good on the show, tonight, though... but still no love from Marty... I wonder how close in age those two were... maybe she was hitting on him, and he rejected her, right at the beginning....

Did you see that idiot, Shannon, when Jeff Probst, who is sooooo handsome (!) tried to give him an opportunity to not be such a full-on jerk, but Shannon just confirmed what everyone already thought -- ugh.

And I looved Jimmy Johnson... he's soo cute! I wish he had stayed on Survivor way longer, he was soo nice to everyone, and so smart. You know what's really funny? The Season Finale of Survivor is like the Superbowl for us! haha! Except I can follow along waaay easier! (Less beer, probably.... and greater interest!) But I loved that Jimmy Johnson loved football AND Survivor... see how confident he is in his manhood??

You know who I couldn't stand, tonight? No, not just NaOnka. I still do not believe she is a real teacher, even if she did make mention of her 'principals' at the many schools where she teaches, because remember I looked her up under the California Commission of Teacher Credentials, and she wasn't there... not possible in California. Unless maybe she's working for a little private school... and when she said ONE of the parents said they didn't want their kid in her class... right. Except that there are a surprising number of truly horrible people who end up in the Teaching field, unfortunately, and she's maybe more common than we might like to think... see the problem with the educational system, now? I hope it's not like this in the rest of America... maybe it's more likely to exist in L.A. I know I've run into more than my fair share of jerks, here.. many of them in schools.

No, the one I hated the most, tonight, was that little full-of-herself Alina. Ugh. She wouldn't let Fabio speak in Tribal Council, because she wanted a 'real man' to talk... yuck. She looked like she was twelve... yick. There was something really grating about her personality... and then she was all clingy with Fabio after he won the million dollars... gaaaah. I hate that.

I really, really liked Dan. He seemed like such a great guy, and he cared about Fabio so much... very sweet. No wonder his sons love him like crazy... and very sweet for Holly to bring Dan a nice pair of cowboy boots.. hilarious! And Holly looked great! It's craaazy how different someone can look with a little make up and clean hair!! haha!

Okay, I gotta go write about Bridal Plasty... what a great Sunday night for TV, since it's been raining like crazy here in Los Angeles for 4 straight days.. and it's supposed to keep raining for another three days... unheard of for us! I heard on the news, tonight, it's the sstorm of the decade... funny I didn't hear that term, last week... It's been great, though, we haven't even left the house... just reading, working on the computer, watching TV and movies... is great!! Very relaxing, so I say, 'Let it rain!' We'll swim, next week! lol!

Hope you're having a nice, dry, day! Or you're in from the rain and snow! See you soon! Ailsa xox!

Wednesday, December 15th, 2010... Wow, canny believe it's the 15th, already -- only 10 days 'til christmas!! Yahoo!!! Are you all set? Got all your gifts?? I always get to the point where I make the declaration to everyone, 'That's it! That's too many gifts! No more Gifts!! I'm not doing ANY more shopping!', then the next thing you know, I'm in yet another store, finding 'the perfect' gift for Cara! haha! Aidan (my wonderful 11 year old son) is waaay less likely to get an impromtu gift from me, because, for the life of me, I cannot tell any of his toys apart... they all look the same to me. He is crazy about Lego, loooves Video Games, loves Wii Games... poor Aidan -- even his books seem the same to me! I have to take Aidan with me to pick out most of his own stuff, since he can remember the tiniest detail of every single toy he owns, and find one with a slight difference... and the Lego is hilarious, because he's desperate for the new Lego, and the big boxes of Lego are, like, $84.99, if you're lucky, and he has the whole thing done in under an hour, then it's carefully put away, where he will occasionally look at it, but he loves it just the same...

So here's the gift I'm crazy-in-love with, right now. I got my daughter, Cara, a Kindle for Christmas (no worries -- she knows! I let her open it to make sure everything was fine, and so Cara could change the registration to her own name and Amazon account, so she did that, today, and started to download some books onto her new Kindle for Christmas Morning. I was looking at the Kindle, tonight, and it is, bar none, the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I'm gonna get one for my Mum and Dad, too (also, not to worry -- they don't read my site! haha!). Did you know you can download up to 3,500 books onto Kindle?? And there are 16,000 books available FOR FREE (if you know me even a little, you'll know I loove the word, 'Free'!! haha! You know how people winning awards alwasy say, 'You had me at Hello??' haha! Well, for me, 'You had me at 'free'!! lol! And Cara was telling me that Amazon releases 40 new books per month, boks that you would normally buy, so you don't have to pay for those ones, then they put up a fresh new 40 books each month... hmmm. I think I shouldn't have taken dat cough medicine before started writing... that last bit seemed a bit odd, but now (or poorly worded -- sowwwy!!), but I'm far to lazy/tired/stressed out about work to go back and fix it... I knows fer sures me favourite Computer Friend (dat YOU, babycakes!! haha!) can figure me out... chances are high that you mightta taken a little something, yourself, before you turned on youse computer, too! hahahaha1 (Oh, you know that makes me laugh!) (and that's not just the cough syrup talkin', neither!! lol!)

Man, I had a direct link for you to get to the Kindle, too, but I canny remember what I did with it.. I thought I put it on my books page, because I was making reference to Kathy Griffin's hilarious book, and the links were connected to that... ah, well. I'll find it one day... maybe tomorrow! Oh, and did you know you can turn the Kindle on it's side (I'm not clear on this, so this I need to investigate/see it for meself) and make a magic wish, and the Kindle will read the book out loud to you!! Oh My God. That is the COOLEST thing, ever. I teach Special Education, and this would be amazing for them -- any book they would like to read is now at their fingertips -- that's a total miracle! And if you are driving, and want to have a book read to you, you know longer have to enlist some boring friend to read it out loud to you! hahaha! Oh, and get this... the Kindle has a built in dictionary, so when you're reading along and come to a word you're not sure of, you click on the word and the definition comes up -- OMG!!! Say it ain't so!! It's an English Teacher's DREAM!! It's anyone who loves to read, or has ever opened a book (!)'s dream!! haha! It feels great in your hands, too -- they must have worked soo hard to make it feel like a regular book reading experience -- sooo cool! The Kindle is the coolest thing out there! Cara's been making her own Kindle Covers, too -- they're really easy to make... a nice little prject you can try when you get your new Kindle!! haha!

So they finally voted Jane off on Survivor, tonight... but did you ahppen to see the little blurb at the end, when they show who voted for which castawy?? Jane voted for SASH, after everything Jeff Probst said about having a 3 - 3 tie... now that was more telling for me than anything have seen Jane do throughout the game, and no wonder Danny and Fabio still went ahead and put her name down... and I'm pretty sure Chase will be safe enough to return home to North Carolina, even if he DID write Jane's name down... it's a GAME... but I loved when all the loved ones came on the show -- Fabio (now we know his real name is Judd -- had cmpletely forgotten that! haha!), loooves his Mom, so we love him even more, now, and really want him to win the million dollars, but I looved it when Danny's so kept kissing his Dad. That was soo sweet. Now I don't even mind if Danny wins the million dollars!! haha!

Otay, I gotsta bounce, baby! Enjoy the after-affects of whatever you've been up to!! lol! And dinny forget to watch the Season Finale of Survivor on Sunday night.... and Bridal Plasty is on that night, too, so that gives me something sweeet to look forward to! (get past my particularly horrible week... but soon I feel like I will be free, myself, and I think the first thing I want to do is build a nice, pretty, two-storey house in Canada... Belleville, Ontario,Canada, to be exact. I used to think I wanted to re-build the house on this website (it's all mine, baby...!!), but I think if I want to go back to being a house builder (which is a shame, in a way, since I loove teaching, but I can't deal with the politics, any more.... it's killing me. My heart is racing, I spent a good portion of today in tears -- and I'm not paid enough to even cover my regular expenses, so, you know, it's hard to justify it, any longer... what happened to the days when teachers were treated with respect? When did it become such a political mess?? Man, there's soo much training to become a teacher (I've been a teacher for 26 years, now, yet am still only 32! haha! I kid! I'm 47! Silly! I just like to look like I might be 32, if, say, you took your glasses off! hahaha!), but they should tell you the students are the best part, and the politics of teaching can be a total nightmare... Night night!! Nighty Night! You know you're my favorite!! Ailsa xox!

Sunday, December 12th, 2010... Wait, pump your brakes... hahaha! That's hilarious! Who says that, still? Netty, that's who! What happened? Did she get caught in a 1980's time warp, or something?? Hilarious! And she said it twice, so it wasn't like a little slip of the tongue, just full out 80's slang, all over the place! haha!

Man, I laughed my way through Bridal Plasty, tonight... just soo many crazy girls, and everyone sayin' some serious sh*t... I loved when Allyson tells Jaime she and her 'fiance' had a Wedding Budget of $25,000! hahahaha! Come on -- don't you have to have a job to plan a big-asss wedding like that?? Puh-leeease. Don't tell me they got to the first $100 and couldn't resist blowing it all on a brand new ... tattoo!! hahaha! Oh, soo classy. Classy lady.

And I loooved it when Kristen excitedly goes off to get her 'new boobs', and the doctor is playin' with them during surgery, to see if they're 'just right'! hahaha! Man, this stuff was made for TV! I'm lovin' it! And I loved when the doctors did a fist bump, right before Kristen's surgery... so that's what doctors do to signal they're ready to start, uh, pumping you up.... maybe that's what Netty means by 'pump your brakes'... maybe she meant to say 'pump your boobs'... and hilarious that no one seems to ever refer to their breasts as 'breasts', only boobs.. oh, so refined. Such delicate, lovely ladies... :)

I felt soo sorry for Cheyenne, clearly suffering with her new nose.. man, that looks insanely painful. Every time I look at Cheyenne wincing in pain, I think of the vivid description of rhinoplasty in Kathy Griffin's book.. sounds horrific (not the book -- it's hilarious... the nose job, baby!). But what I don't understand, is why do people, any people, have to endure pain, any more? Don't we have all sorts of pain medicine available? Why not just dope yourself up for a week, or so, until the pain goes away... you'll sleep for a week, wake up with a new nose (and maybe even a new attitude, but, dammit, probably the same fiance! hahaha! --me own private joke! lol!).

But I've gotta say, my favorite two crazies in the house are Janessa and Alexandra... man, that Alexandra is a really pretty girl, until she opens up her mouth... puts her foot right in it... she's soo mad that she might be voted out, she's gonna quit... yes, that's brilliant. Good Plan! What a good thinker! She's soo furious that "there is only 7 more chances to win, and all the times I skipped drinking for this"... sooo unfair!! Did you hear her?? She skipped drinking for a few days!! Omg, they should just let her win, right now, goddammit! What's wrong with these other girls (who "are making me look like a bitch", says Alexandra!), who appear to ALSO want to win da big prizes... it's the one show where you want 'big slashes' in your prizes! har, har! Oh, man, she's an angry girl.. you gotta love that! Oh, and when Alexandra was all full-of-herself, parading down the runway in her wedding dress, thinking she was all that, and Phillip, the judge, says, 'oh, you remind me of someone', and Alexandra pipes in, without missing a beat, "Eva Longoria??" hahaha! Uhh, nope. The Phillip says her dress looks like crap from the front, but from the back even worse. Priceless!

When Janessa was sitting in the room, talking to Alexandra, looking like complete hell... you're on TV, on a show specifically designed to improve your looks, wouldn't you want to try to look your best? Oh, so funny. This is not the time to 'fugly' yourself up, right in front of the cameras! haha! But Alexandra goes ahead and spills the beans that she's there to get the plastic surgery, not the wedding --- hmmmm, who saw that coming? These girls are mental wizards, I tells ya! It's a shame, though, because soo many of the girls are there mostly for the wedding, since they are really lovely, pretty girls... but crazy that Jaime was upset about being voted off (no one RRSP'd to her 'wedding' hahaha!), when she's already married, with children. No. what's this business about having to have a million weddings? I know a girl who had yet another wedding, but has been married for years... and these idiots expect you to bring a gift every time they 'get married all over again'.. no, that's called an anniversary, and you don't get any presents from every person you ever met for that. Just go have dinner, get home to the kids! lol!

Poor Kristen. Some people still ask her for her ID, on account o' her .. small breasts? Smallish brain?? I loved it, when she's all done with her surgery, watching the RRSP vote, finally beginning to see some sort of... pattern... in how the girls vote. Why, it's like the girls have formed some sort of... alliances... and didn't it look like her new 'boobs' are right up by her chin?? Is hilarious! Omg, what a great show!

And now Bridal Plasty has come down to The Good Girls vs. The Bad Girls, and the Queen of the Bad Girls is Janessa... who refers to herself as the puppet-master... man, you can tell this show is unscripted, 'cause you couldn't write this stuff, or get any respectable actor to say the lines... lol!

We watched the Season Finale of The Amazing Race, too, and those toothy doctors, Nat and Kat, won... ugh. I hate when wealthy people win big money prizes. But I'm glad the A.D.D. girl and her fugly sidekick didn't win... I liked Jill, the hair dresser (she looked like she'd have enough money to make it on her own, dump her arrogant boyfriend... lol! See how I think?? haha!)... then we watched the preview for the next Amaziong Race, and it's just all the people who didn't win, from before... ugh. I hate that, too. (Really, I'm jam-packed full of hate, for really important things, like TV shows, 'n such... lol!) Let new people have a chance... and I can't stand ADD girl -- man, can you imagine being stuck in a room with her, bouncing off the walls? Or her fugly sidekick, with nothing to say, except for the occasional put-down for the Jumper? Or maybe, 'My face still hurts...' I don't know which one I disliked, more... but I didn't think we'd have to see their faces on TV, again.. and were those the easiest 'final tasks' you've ever seen? Looked like stuff you'd pay to do... bungee jumping in Long Beach, putting some flowers in a vase in Pasadena, playing a quick Match Game with Bob Eubanks... sounds like a great day, to me!!

Cara and I watched Kendra, too... she's on her own, now... yep, sure looks like she is... doesn't it look like Kendra and Hank are completely separated, now? Poor girl. We really like her. Hank, I'm not so sure of... he seemed kind of controlling in some of the episodes (you married a PLAYBOY girl, so why would you expect her to turn into your mom?? And why does he call her 'mama'?? Yuck! A sure recipe for disaster, when a couple (especially a young couple) call each other mom and dad... eeewwww. No. Keeps your roles straight. The children call you mom and dad, you call each other by your given names, or a sweet name (okay sometimes there's a slight slip and it's a not-very-nice name...), but never, mom and dad... yick! So it's not looking good for Hank and Kendra, but man, that baby is sooo cute! Will be fun to see how this season plays itself out.. :)

Okay, you can see I have had a very, very busy night of continual TV watching -- me favorite! haha! Yours too, maybe! I hope you had a great night, too... and have many s'mores! See you soon, Ailsa xox!
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Wednesday, December 8th, 2010...Survivor Nicaragua: When do You Stop Trusting Your Alliances?? Man, that's a hard one, isn't it? When do you stop trusting your alliances? Makes you think about your own life, too, about those people you had in your life you thought you could trust 'til the end, and WHAMMO, one day they betray you on a level you never thought you'd see.... so tonight I feel sorry for Benry. I liked the guy. He seemed genuine. And I hate Sash.... he's soooo jam-packed full of himself ... "I'm in control of the game", "I'm King of the Castle" (okay, I might be taking liberties with some of the 'quotes'... lol!)

Oh, hey! Remember King of the Castle? If you grew up in the snow, where there was enough snow for the snow ploughs to come through and leave giant mounds of snow, easily 8 to 10 feet high of tightly packed snow, and all the kids would climb to the top and shout, "I'm King of the Castle!!", 'til some other kid knocked them down.... well, I guess poor Benry got knocked down, tonight. When will Survivors learn to never, ever, say at Tribal Council, "Yeah, I feel completely safe, tonight". No!! Don't say it! It's a trap!! It's like going down into the basement, alone, on a dark rainy night, when you hear a strange sound, and there happens to be a movie crew filming the whole event 'for future use'... haha! Gaaah! That's just stupi! (stew-peeee!!) You know what? You know how James Cameron is Canadian?? Well, he probably had memories of being at the top of the Snow Hill, screaming, "I'm King of the Castle!", when he was having Leonardo DeCaprio shout, "I'm King of the World!!" on the Titanic! Would be an hilarious throw-back to his childhood! I never thought of that... leave it to Survivor to trudge up some old memories, eh?? (That's my Canadian accent shining through!)

So I don't get it... why haven't they voted Jane out, yet? Or ludicrously wealthy Danny? Although, truth be told, I really like Danny, but he doesn't need any more money, and I always like to see the money go to someone who really needs it, like, Fabio, my fave!! haha! He's sooo cute, and seems so sincere. It's smart to be friendly, and not annoying. Those are excellent traits in a human being... I wish more people had those two lovely traits... wouldn't the world be a nicer place with a lot more Fabios? (But who will run the world? Hmmm... we'll need a King...)

Okay, back to Sash. That jerk. Man, what a traitor. But he might be not too bad to go to the Final Two with, since he'll have pised off enough people by the end of the game that he might be seen by the jury as conniving and not to be trusted. Really, conning Marty out of his Immunity Idol, then not giving it back to Marty, as previously promised... ugh. He betrayed Brenda (who looked great, tonight, by the way), he referred to himself as a 'swing-vote' after declaring himself a firm vote... who can trust a guy like that? No one. He's just too full of himself -- I hate that.... very annoying!

So what are the Life Lessons you took from tonight's episode of Survivor?? Not to drink so much beer during one show??? hahahaha!(Otay, dat my own little joke!! haha! You know that makes me laugh, all alone at my computer!!) Whatever. I learn my Life Lessons the hard way, over and over, generally with the same person... why, it's like a never learn. Whatever. I think I'm gonna go see if there's any beer left.. nooo, I kidding. I would never run out of beer. It's not like I'm not a planner.. for the important things! hahaha! (Are there 2 'n's in planner? Who knows? We'll never know, now, since I am faaar too lazy to use spell check. Gaaah. It's a button I don't have time to press... haha!)

Well, I have a lot more to say, but I tryin' to stay out of trouble for the next week and a half (surely I can stay out of twouble for that long... ), but I'll tell you as soon as I think I'm in da clear, and can speak freely (the day my websites finally make enough money that they will support me and my occasional crazy rantings!! hahaha! I think I made about 3 cents, today, so no worries, just yet! lol! But I do cross my fingers a lot, so we'll just see whose God is watching (mine, I hope!! lol!)... dinny worry, God has a great sense of humour!!

Which reminds me of a book I happened to come across, last week, when I was desperately looking for some jewelry that has gone missing since I had my house on the market... ugh. Annoying. A Jade Necklace, an Amethyst Necklace, and a beautiful pair of Aquamarine Earrings.. clearly, I love a little bling! But I have searched the house trying to find the box they were in... I hope to God they weren't stolen... that would be awful... I've been praying to St. Anthony to help me find them (usually works every time -- you gotta try it, see if it works for you... my theory is that you say the prayer, then let your mind lead you to the lost item... so far, I gotta nuthin', but I did find my copy of this very nice little book, God Winks, so of course I see that as a God Wink, in and of itself! Really, I'll cling to any hope I can find in my day!! haha! I keep thinking that there must be a bigger reason I couldn't sell my house, wasn't able to leave California and return to Canada, this past summer.. I had wanted to go home sooo badly, get away from someone who had hurt me very badly, put lots of space between me and him. That's how I solve relationship problems... I just move a few thousand miles away! So far, not that great! Ah, well. Maybe this is my opportunity to solve a problem without moving a million miles away! We'll see... see why I cling to Hope?? haha!

Okay, well, now I wish I had had a few more of those beer, tonight!! haha! I know what you're thinking -- it's not too late! That's what I love about you -- you are full of fantastic (and practical) ideas!! Maybe I'll just have a wee drop of Baileys, watch something light and cheery, like In Treatment (hahaha! But it is one of my favourite shows, even if it is a bit dark, sometimes... I loove the therapist, Paul... maybe I should move to Ireland, or go to a Scottish or Irish Pub...! haha!), find a nice man with a great accent! Dang!! There's that thing with moving thousands of miles, again... man, I just can't get away from that idea -- that's what it is to be an immigrant... the idea of 'change your country, change your life' is endlessly appealing to me.. maybe I need a country on the beach... right on da beach, like on Survivor, but with a much nicer hut... I'll build it myself! haha! All right, I'll see you soon, baby! I hope you have lots and lots of great things to hope for, too! Hugs, but nothing weird... ! lol! Ailsa xox!
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Sunday, December 5th, 2010... Oh, Bridal Plasty, my favorite new show... forget the New Nose, who's first for a New Brain?? lol! But to showcase these brilliant, beautiful young women, and in such a lovely light.... they all seem so perfect, except that they need a ton o' Plastic Surgery to make them palatable enough to get married, and for Kristen to be pliable enough for her new husband-to-be, Brandon (Loser Brandon? I didn't catch his first name, but I think that's probably right ... lol!) to have sex with her whenever he wants... ugh! But wait a minute, isn't it 2010?? Maybe he forgot it's a two person deal... they need to decide together it's a great thing to do when they both want to do it, right? Yuuuuck! She's in for a crappy marriage, fer sures, AND he wants her to clean up the house and not partake in any bodily functions.. now who's stuck in the Dark Ages?? Ick. Some of these girls need to transplant their fiance, not their own body parts... have a waaay better life ... just a quick removal of about 185 ugly, chauvinistic, pounds outta do it! One quick cut, done! Pees coot, you're oot!!

But these girls are in it to win it.. get that fancy big wedding, and fix themselves up... so which girls do you think really need some improvements? Most of them really are pretty, and really skinny -- did you check them out in their bikinis?? WTF?? What do they want done?? You'll go under the knife for a free ring and a wedding dress? They all look fine to me... nothing a little make up and some more hair extensions (perhaps a few trips to the gym and a slight change to the bag-o-dorritos for lunch diet?? haha!)... did you notice when Debbie Downer (the ever-cheery Allyson) (see, tonight I know all of their names, because now they're all kind of annoying, in their own right -- but a great kind of annoying -- my favorite kind!! lol!) ... anyway, when Allyson just got out the shower, complaining about something or other (always something to go wrong!! yippee!), and hardly has any hair?? Yick. When do the hair extensions go in? When your hair is dry? And are they that easy to use? Really, Allyson needs some personal therapy, a good diet and enough education to get a decent job... start there, see how your life changes, Allyson... and the boyfriend could try the same things! What? Two employed people in a functional relationship? Hmmm....now there's a novel idea!

So, of course, my favorite girl of da night is Alexandra. Omg. She is brilliant. Not only that, but in her own words, "I feel that I am a really well writer, a well speaker"... yep. I rewound it to hear it, again, it was sooo funny! But here's what I don't understand. These are people who have only ONE language -- English. They were born and raised in a country where English is the predominant language... she was educated in English, most likely graduated, and canny speak'a da language. Is that because some people never read books?? How is it possible, to be that stupid?? I'm thinking, skip the surgery to get the skin removed from your massive weight loss on another TV show, and go straight for the Brain Transplant... might be worth a shot! lol! Poor kid. Maybe some elocution lessons, a few grammar lessons, and perhaps some tatoo removal might be in order to 'class' these girls up a little... My Fair Lady-style! I loooved that movie, so clearly I'm very intrigued by how a person can change for the better! (or worse... depending on the audience, no doubt!)

That was soo sad, when Cheyenne came back from having her nose done, and all the girls were sooo jealous of her being in the Recovery Room... "oooh, I wanna be in the Recovery Room!!" Ruh-roh! I just don't get it, though -- these girls look so normal and pretty to me... what on earth do they want done?? And is it just me, or do some of these girls look like the come from Money? Right? Doesn't Jessica have a job, or if her fiance (the jerk, I'll call him, because I canny remember his name... but, again, I feel there is a fair bit of accuracy in my choice of names for him..) is in the NHL, since he wants her to vow that he is the bestest hockey player in the whole wide world... hmmm. Maybe the NHL missed him? They're crazy like that, always ignoring the best players, out in their back yard ice rinks, playing all by themselves, because all their old friends hate listening to the 'I couldda been' stories... why, it's like I know people like this! hahaha! I grew up on hockey, so I looove it, and love a great hockey player, and he didn't strike me as one of them...

And then, Janessa, oh what a lovely personality, so that doesn't need to be fixed, fer sures... I loved her line, 'if you fail to plan, you plan to fail'. Really? Did she plan that stooopid hairstyle? Maybe stop wearing your hair like a three-year old, see how that goes... she looked completely different with her hair up, but then, the second she opens her mouth, and whatever spills out is sooo stoopid, who cares what kind of plastic surgery she gets... but I love that she fancies herself a General, in charge of all the girls... "they're following me like little puppies".... don't throw little puppies under the bus, like that! We looove little puppies! They're soo cute! I even put some on my page for you to look at (okay, I put them on my page so I could look at them, but, still, maybe you like puppies, too! lol!)... but I hope to God that Janessa does not come anywhere close to winning... although, I do love it when the crazies stay on the longest... makes the show more fun to watch! Okay, enjoy looking at your own perfect self in the mirror! No changes necessary! Know Thyself, Love Thyself... is that how the saying goes?? Does it say anything about eating more chocolate?? I hope so! I don't wanna change! lol! To Your Great Beauty on the Inside and the Outside... Ailsa xox!
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Wednesday, December 1st, 2010... Jeff Probst Hates Quitters, and so do I! Stupid quitters!! OMG, that NaOnka was a such a horrible person, tonight... and proud of her accomplishments... what's that all about? Learn from your experiences? Understand the value of human kindness? Get whe you have to tough it out? Nope. Not-a-one good characteristic for this truly awful girl -- and again, she is NOT a teacher. Absolutely not. Remember I looked her up on the California Commission for Teacher Credentials?? haha! I couldn't help myself, she irritated me sooo much. There was no way I could sit there, and not go in and see if she really was a teacher, since she would do some God-awful thing, like steal people's food, castaways food, lie about it, feel proud of herself, yet again.... ugh. No, those are not the qualities of a good teacher.... what on earth would she teach our kids?? (You know I'm sensitive about this, because I am a teacher in California... you can look me up on the California Commission for Teacher Credentials... just look up Ailsa Forshaw, and it'll give you the info. I'm qualified in Canada and California, fer real, not for pretend... it just used to rile me soo much, every time NaOnka would do something, or say something, horrible, then put on the screen, PE Teacher... aaaarrrgh, made me blood boil! (Now I'm a pirate! lol!)

Anyway, so NaOanka quit the game of Survivor. And no doubt she will go home and tell everyone who will listen, that she could have won. No you couldn't, because you QUIT. That makes you a loser, one way or another, NaOnka. (Don't worry -- I get the sneaking feeling she's not much of a reader, so she probably won't ever read this... and certainly wouldn't believe a negative word about her...). Frankly, I'm relieved she's off the game, and not a contender for the Million Dollars. I always want that money to go to a deserving player, like Fabio, Benry, Sash (I like him, now... he's shown some new spirit, and I like that a lot... plus, he's really playing the game, and I loooved it when he didn't hand the immunity idol blindly over to Brenda in the last episode where someone was voted out... yippee! So he does have a backbone of his very own! lol!)

Oh, that reminds me of a little joke I used to love when I was married... I used to want to give a gift of a little black satchel with a pair of balls in it, or a little black box, like a jewelry box for necklaces, with a tiny spine in it, for those men who need to stand up to someone (their family, maybe?? haha! Reemmber, this is an old joke for me, now! lol!), who need to get a new set of balls (like ping pong balls, of course... what were you thinking?? Come on, get oot da gutter!! haha!), or maybe a new spine, to stand up for their family or wife, support them the way they need to... goes for anyone who doesn't stand up for what is Right. You know I like that in a person :)

Which brings me to Holly. Wow, I loove Holly, now. I didn't like when she wanted to quit (Thank God for Jimmy Johnson and his pep talk... I wish they'd kept Jimmy Johnson a whole lot longer... I really, really liked him, and not jus' because of his commercials, either... yuff, yuff!). When Holly had worked sooo hard to win that reward, and Jeff Probst offered to give the whole camp a new tarp and a big thing of rice, which they all badly needed to survive the rains and the rest of the game, and Holly stepped up and gave up her spot to have her reward.... well, now I'm a big Holly Supporter. Good for you, Holly! and I really like Jane, now, too... man, she works hard. What happened to the fishing? Why are they only eating a tiny bit of rice? Remember when they had all sorts of crabs to eat? And lots and lots of fish?

So why is Danny still in the game?? The guy is loaded.... he wore alligator shoes onto SURVIVOR... hahahahaha! That's sooo crazy, it's hilarious! But I don't get it.... he could be sooo nice and charming, which he seems to be, he could totally walk away with the game... what are they thinking?? And that stooopid Purple Kelly.... what a quitter.... reminds me of my favourite joke from one of my drinking buddies... he's never gonna stop drinking, because he's no quitter.... sooo funny! I laugh every time! But, then, I guess if I'm already out drinking, I'll laugh at a whole lot of things! lol! (Okay, you got me... I'm a quick laugh, at any time! lol!) Laughter is fun, and the world needs more of it, fer sures... and, for the record, it's great for students... I teach Students with Special Needs, and I love them dearly, and each and every day, I love to make them laugh, I just looove their smiles, and I'll do practically anything to see those smiles... and joking is very, very good for your brain -- people who laugh, and can joke about adversity, are ten times more fun to be with (!), do better in their home lives, and much better in their work lives... laughter is good for your brain! It takes some smarts to follow a joke, and make up a snappy comeback... it's a great brain exercise, and will always end in laughter, so how can you go wrong?? haha!

Okay, so where am I now?? Let's see, I've already dissed NaOnka and stupi Purple Kelly... did I say how handsome Jeff Probst is?? hahaha! Yes, he's very good looking! Yum. And I love it when he gets mad, and doesn't hide his feelings... I love a guy who can show his emotions (in a normal way! lol!)... and I like Benry... he has a good sense of Right and Wrong, so I like that characteristic -- very good for Human Beings! And I looved when Jeff Probst said you have to have that drive, that need for success, that determination to make it, no matter how horrible some of your days can be (and some days, for me, personally, have been horrendous, what with having to deal with some truly horrible people, myself...), but you have to persevere, know what is ight, see it through to the end, see how far you can get... (and I let God take over quite a bit, too! lol! Helps, me, for sure! Some days, I'm just covered in Jesus Bracelets, and my God's Eye bracelet my Mum and Dad got me from Egypt... some days I feel like I really need to ward off evil... and I don't use that word lightly, or often, but whatever it is that gives you strength, go on and use it, right? Garner that strength, make a great life for you and your sweet little family! You deserve it! You deserve to be happy, and to live a good life, free of stife. You'd think everyone would strive for that, right? Why not? Maybe we can do a little proselitizing for the Good! haha! (Wonder how you spell prosltitizing??? I was never a fan of over-running someone's long-time beliefs so they'll 'finally see the light', and come on over to yours... unless they want to, on their own... and, yes, I do have a dictionary right beside me, which I will have a wee look at in a minute... right after I post this!! (Okay, I looked it up, and here's the correct spelling ... proselytize, so I would have been thrown out of the Speeling Bee on that one, and I loove Spelling Bees, but I'll keep in in mind for the next time I play Scrabble! lol!)

Otay, gotta go! I hope you got some great deals in the Black Friday sales -- we totally scored on all sorts of things, especially in getting the Free Gift Cards from Target and Kohls... my favourite stores! I'm fancy, huh?? haha! Go have lots of Laughs (and maybe a few drinks?? haha! You choose on that one, but I think I've earned meself a wee drop o' Baileys before I go to bed, tonight, after all that drama on Survivor! Much Love and Happiness, Ailsa xox
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Tuesday, November 30th, 2010... OMG, have you seen that new show, Bridal Plasty?? hahaha! How craaazy is that?? These poor girls, all fighting for a chance to get all sorts of plastic surgery done to them, mostly so they can get a free wedding?? When did a big fancy wedding become more important than a healthy marriage?? Creeepy! And soo many of the girls looked so 'normal', so regular and pretty.... and the girl who was booted out, tonight, the one who claimed she had 'pawned' her 'engagement ring' from the stranger/guy off the street she said was her 'fiance'... pleeease... she said she wanted (needed?? couldn't be!) breast enlargement... OMG, she was already huuuge. We thought she was gonna ask for a down-sizing intervention, so something tells me perhaps she has a job that might make her feel the need for something bigger... but clearly not a job where she can earn enough to make a monthly payment on her car loan (what she said she used the pawn money for... really, if you're gonna lie on TV, for a show made for women, at least come up with a plausible lie we'll buy without scrutinizing it...)

I love that little Janessa -- you can always remember the crazy one's name, right? haha! The crazier they are, the easier they are to remember.... when she was saying she was definitely, fer sures, da smartiest one there, then couldn't quite manage a TWELVE piece puzzle of herself... well, that was too funny! These stupi girls!! I look forward to watching them every week!

But I did really like the part where they brought out the fellow from the U.S. Military Service... man, that was very touching,and it would be so nice if they won the free wedding... but sad to see how young he was, that he had already put in so much time overseas... which reminds me of an ad I heard on the radio on Veteran's Day. I want to confirm this info, but I'll put it out there, right now, and check it, tomorrow, just to make sure I'm right... I think you can text 20222 to donate $10 towards a Veteran's group. It was a really fast advertisement on the radio, and I hd written the number down quickly, but I think it's right... remember the relief efforts made by texting donations for Haiti? I dontated online for Katrina, and I can't quite remember when they did the first donation via text messaging, but I looove the idea -- very practical, and you get a whole lot more money when you ask people to give a little that everyone can afford, rather than asking for a whole lot that only a few can afford, right?

Okay, back to Bridal Plasty!! I loooved the syringe run... if you watched The Soup with Joel McHale (always hilarious!!), you'll have the image of the girl running at Joel McHale with her syringe, getting him in the eye... soo funny! But what is going on with these girls that they all feel they need sooo much plastic surgery? And did you know that one of the girls was on The Biggeset Loser?? haha! Yes, how many times did she mention that, and what about her very real waterworks when she was pleading for the Big Free Wedding? haha! Oooh, we're in for some crazy fun wit' dese biiitches!! hahaha!

I wrote a wee bit o' Wedding Advice back in the day, when I was still married... I've been married twice, and here's the thing about feeling like you need plastic surgery before you get married... or, much, much worse, if HE is telling you that you need plastic surgery to be 'good enough' for him.... have a good long look at what he needs to have surgically altered (his brain, maybe? Something South of the Border? No doubt... yuff, yuff!) You don't want to be with someone who is critical of you on that level, or any level... puh-leease. Those jerks. I'd like to do a little plastic surgery of my own on that kind of man... and there are a lot of them out there, unfortunately... and not a' one of them is a perfect specimen! lol! If the plastic surgery is entirely your choice, and it'll make you feel great about yourself, okay, but, man, to do it to please someone else... ugh. That's problematic, fer sures! You want to just love yourself for who you are, be the best you can be... oh, and don't forget to look away from da TV screen when Bridal Plasty first comes on, and they show all the gruesome liposuction procedures -- yuck!! It's the one show you won't want to snack through!! hahaha! To Good Luck, A Great Life, and Much Happiness, Ailsa xox!
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Saturday, November 20th, 2010... OMG, have you seen Oprah's Favorite Things Christmas show, yet? You gotta find it, tape it (we looove DVR... let's us tape all our favourite shows, watch them when we feel like it -- we're huuge Jimmy Fallon fans, so we tape Late Night with Jimmy Fallon every night, watch it the following afternoon, perhaps with a small shot of Baileys Irish Cream!! Yum -- Jimmy Fallon AND the Baileys! hahaha!).. and you've gotta get a chance to watch Oprah's Favorite Things Christmas Show... it's fantastic!

So here's the thing... did you happen to catch the Women of SNL (Saturday Night Live show a while back? There was a bit on there, a little parody of Oprah's Favorite Things shows -- was hilarious.... but not nearly as hilarious as the combination of us just having watched the parody of Oprah's Favorite Things show, and thenm watching the real show.... OMG, we laughed so hard -- was fantastic!

If you can get a chance, try to find the SNL skit online, through ZULU, or Youtube.. anywhere you can find it, watch that, first, then sit back and get ready to laugh when you watch this very last Oprah's Favorite Things Christmas Show.... you're gonna loove it!! lol!

So we watched it, this afternoon, since it's a rainy day in Los Angeles -- highly unusual for us to actually have a sun-free day, but all very exciting, because this is our first weekend without a realtor, so we are celebrating about that, alone -- yippee, free of the calls to leave the house so someone (perhaps a fictional someone... we never did figure that one out...) could browse through our things.. ugh. Think I might just ry to sell my place by myself, since Dwight (my ex-husband) and I usd to always sell our own houses, and was much more relaxing... and who knows your house better than you do, right? I just wasn't sure whether I should do that in Los Angeles... but I think I'll give that a try, when I feel like it. Not now, maybe in the Spring, if we still want to leave LA so badly... I've got a good job here, and we do like the sunny weather.. it's the lack of good men is da problem! hahahaha! (I should say, good available, decent men... lots o' players down here, if you know what I mean! lol!)

Oprah has some seriously good taste, yo.... haha! (I'm all 'LA', now!)The gifts she gave out were amazing, but it's the crowd I love the best, whoopin' it up, kissin' each other... there was this one black guy who was all over the white girl right beside him -- now that I live in Los Angeles, where everyone is color-coded, I noticed something like that (whereas in Canada, you would take note of 'that handsome guy was kissing that pretty lady'.... but this is my new reality, and it was pretty funny!)... and my very favorite part was when Oprah introduced the paramedics, who were standing on the sidelines, in case anyone needed them -- how hilarious is that? That you would go to a TV Show taping, and need to have the paramedics standing by, in case you got sooo excited, you passed right out? hahahaha! Now that kills me! That really makes me laugh!

I was saying to Cara, my lovely daughter, 'you know, this is how we discovered Kenny G...' He was on an Oprah's Favorite Things Christmas show years ago, and Dwight bought the Kenny G CD, and then every year, we would put up the Christmas Tree, then put on those Kenny G CDs all night, while we would have a drink and gaze at the tree.. ah, the good ol' days! I'll see if I can figure out how to get a picture of that beautiful Christmas Tree, post it here for your very enjoyment! lol!

Oprah gave out soo many amazing amazing gifts... I loved them all -- incredible... oh, and when you watch it, tape it right from the very beginning, since the audience thinks they're there for a Meditation Show, then Oprah surprises them with all these incredible gifts, but their faces are soooo cute... you don't want to miss that... and then the Black Eyed Peas are on the show, too, and I loove the Black Eyed Peas... made for a really fun rainy day treat!

One of the very nice gifts that Oprah gave out to her guests was a $100 Gift Card from Groupon (a very cool site where they send you all sorts of discounts for local places and things to do... I joined that a while ago... great for finding out new places to go, and cool restaurants you'd like to try, often for 50% off... and you know how much I loves a bargain!! lol!) for each person to give a donation to the person (or group, maybe?) of their choice on http://www.kiva.com/ . I'd never even heard of http://www.kiva.com/ , but what a great idea it is for a website and service to humanity... you go into http://www.kiva.com , choose the amount you would like to give (I think it starts at $25), then you scroll through all the people around the world who are looking for some start-up capital so they can start their own business... isn't that cool? Could really change a person's life, which in turn changes their children's lives, so you would be having a positive impact on all sorts of people... what a lovely idea!

Okay, gotta go feed my own family!! Me playtime on da computer is over for the day!! lol! Try to catch the Oprah's Favorite Things Christmas Show -- it's a whole hour of smiles and huuge laughs, especially if you watch that SNL skit, first, then you'll laugh soo hard, then smile really hard, then laugh some more -- you'll love da whole thing, fer sures!! To Good Luck, A Great Life, and Much Happiness, Ailsa xox!
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Wednesday, November 17th, 2010... So, did you watch Survivor, tonight? King Brenda lost her throne! Booted out, baby! Pees scoot, ur oot, as all my Scottish friends will say! haha! Yippeee! Who knew it would be so easy to topple a king? And a girl king, at that.... poor Sash, outed by someone he thought was a friend... Brenda.. aysing she's the King, and Sash is the Queen... what a beee-yotch! Do you have to be super-biitchy to get on Survivor, these days?? Well, then, I think I have the perfect candidate in mind... someone I have to endure on a daily basis... someone who backstabs for fun and to gain even more pretend power... one who makes going to work a nightmare from helll.. there's always one at work you'd like to send to a desert island, leave them there with a bunch of other jerks (and a few nice people... I always feel sooo sorry for da nice ones!), let them battle it out.

You know what I loove, though? Jerks NEVER know they're jerks. Never. They always think they're fabulous. Hilarious. Soooo reasonable, as they tighten the noose around some unsuspecting poor soul's neck... (uh-oh, what happened to me, today? lol! Luckily, my own life never creeps into me writing! hahaha!)

I wrote a whole article about How to Get Along with Jerks, years ago... I'm pretty sure I advocated drinking to forget them, drinking if they're in your HOUSE (egads!! Get outta me housie!!), and then, most likely, drinking to forget them, again. You see how many solutions I have for dealing with jerks? One. That's right. It's very effective. I was joking at the end of my extremely crappy day, today," I wonder if I can claim Bailey's Irish Cream as a tax deduction, since it's a work-related necessity??" hahahaha!(Okay, I'm just entertaining myself, here! lol! You know I really am laughing out loud... that's right -- I've written the words all the way out, this time, I'm laughing just that much! haha!)

Okay, so I DID have some Baileys when I got home. I love it. It's soooo delicious. I canny help it. When I DON'T have a horrible day at work, maybe I'll go back to my usual cup of tea, but until this particularly difficult time passes, Baileys it is, and I AM much happier after I've had it -- truly, from the very first tasty sip! lol!

But enough about me, lets get back to some more NaOnka... ddn't Brenda actually make NaOnka look GOOD on Survivor, tonight?? haha! And that's not an easy task, what with the stealing and whatnot... and just when I had said to Cara, my lovely daughter, man, I think I'm starting to like NaOnka, she's playing a pretty good game', wouldn't you know it? The preview comes up for Survivor for next week, and NaOnka's done something really bad, but doesn't everyone tune in for the baddies?? haha! You avoid them in the rest of your life (hopefully), then can't wait to see them 'interact with other humans...ish', on TV! Is hilarious!

So that crazy Brenda was 'too good' to scramble. Man, I hate arrogance. Arrogance sucks. I should make that a website, then everyone could write in their stories on the arrogant bashtards they know... I knew a guy who would send group emails to all the women (and some girls... eeeewwww!) he was seeing at the same time -- if that's not extreme arrogance, I don't know what is. I'm waiting for the day when it all comes crashing down -- I love that part, because the arrogant person NEVER sees that coming...). Really, you think women don't notice everything? Yep. They do... and they never forget.

I gotta say, I loved the little smug look Brenda gave Sash right before Jeff Probst read the vote, when he asked if anyone had an immunity idol, and Sash looked away. Buuurn! That was the second burn on the show, tonight! Who would be sooo stooopid as to build a wooden 'shelter' for their unattended fire? hahahahaha! Too funny! and I love the idea of the camera crew standing around filming their stuff burn... wonder if they ran in to save their personal possessions? Hmmm... I'm just curious...

Chase is in his own little 'does Brenda like me' world, but now we can see if he can think with his brain, instead... will be interesting, and speaking of brainless nits, did you happen to notice that 'Purple Kelly' is a bit of a mowon?? hahaha! She gets virtually no camera time, but perhaps they DID give her a ton of camera time in the field, but during editting, whe they were looking for the least idiotic things she might have said, that only left them with the tiniest bit of footage of Purple Kelly. Funny. Stupi.

I'm really liking Jane a whole lot more -- I've gone back and forth with her, since I didn't like that she wasn't aligned with the old Marty team, but maybe he was a jerk to her... and anyone who loves dogs must be good in their heart, right? (Ruh-roh, all the creepy people who happen to have purchased a dog are all nodding in wild agreement, nw! hahaha!) Man, she's strong, especially at her age... remarkable. And I loooved when the Real Holly came out, tonight... did you happen to hear the "What the Faaaaa..." from Holly?? I laughed soo hard. You can't hide behind that hideous 'mom' bathing suit... where did she find that? She's in good shape, why not a pretty bathing suit, if you're going to be, say, filmed in said bathing suit every day... I am a bikini girl, Thank God... for a few years, there,dat was not-so-much an option for me (yes, my fancy diet tips are on here... lol!), and now when I ever have to pretend to be 'conservative', and put on a one-piece bathing suit, I feel like I'm wearing waaay too much clothing to be able to swim, like I'm wearing a real suit! lol!

Otay, going to bed! Sleep well! Chase will be dreaming about Brenda -- who will you be dreaming about?? hahaha! I just took some Nyquil, because my life sucks soo royally, I can't sleep with out it, these days... I canny wait 'til m life gets back to normal! I hope your life is all normal and wonderful, and you have someone lovely to dream about! Maybe I'll just dream about finding money... I'm pretty good at finding that, just crappy at finding love! lol! Maybe my luck change soon! We see!! haha! To Good Luck, A Great Life, and Much Happiness, Ailsa xox!
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Wednesday, November 10th, 2010.... OMG, can you believe that horrible NaOnka ... again, NOT a Teacher -- aaarrrgh, makes me soo mad when they post that as her job when she comes on the screen on Survivor ... nope. No California Teaching Credential, too God-Awful to ever be a teacher... or at least I would hope so... what would she teach, Stealing 101, How to Lie, Cheat and Steal, Tell Everyone to F U and Get Away with It, Section B....?? haha! That girl... and here's the sad thing... I might be reacting even more than the regular TV Viewer, because I deal with 'NaOnkas' EVERY DAY. Ugh. It's like it's a trend, here in L.A., for some young women (oh, no, what's happening to our girls??) to behave monstrously, then lie, fake out people by pretending to cry, shake, whatever it takes to make someone feel sorry for you, then get away with whatever BS they just did... it's an epidemic, right now. (Schmacks of a scene in The Crucible, right? bunch of horrible girls crying 'Witch' when they are the bad-assssses... lol!)

NaOnka is makin' Inglewood, California, look bad.... but let me tell you, I live up the road from Inglewood, and she is NOT a representative from the area, any more than some other horrible person who happened to come from a quaint little town in the Mid-West might be bad all on their own, in no way reflective of 'the community'... I'd love to know what other people are saying about her... but frankly, I just want to make sure she never teaches ANY kids her horrible personality, as if what she does is okay on any level, but see how it has harmed her?? Not at all! She's still there, and Marty is the one who's gone. That's Survivor for you. You can swear at a whole group of adults, act out in the most agregious way, and STILL not get voted off Survivor! hahahaha! That's why we tune in every week -- to see what kind of crazy sh*t is gonna go down NEXT week! lol! And I loooved the Promo for next week.. "What kind o' hell went down over here?????" I wanna know! I gotta see it for myself! hahaha!

Oh, hey, did you see that Running Wilde, with Will Arnett and David Cross is back on FOX?? Yippeee!! There must have been a big enough internet outcry that we got the show back! Yahoo! Power to the People! And Running Wilde was hilarious, as always... I love a story with a little excess... and a ton of great laughs :) Thanks, FOX! If you haven't had a chance to see Running Wilde, yet, it's on FOX (Channel 11, here in Los Angeles) on Tuesday night after Glee and Raising Hope, so 9:30pm on Tuesday nights... get ready to laugh your assss off! haha!

I'm thrilled that Jerry Brown was elected as our new Governor for California -- yippee! I wish he would have a good long look at this new trend to have Charter Schools all over the city of Los Angeles, instead of putting the money into Public Schools... my biggest pet peeve with these Charter Schools is that they get to pick and choose which students they let in, but here's the thing in any civilized society (perhaps in the uncivilized ones, too! lol)... we are bound by basic, common decency, to educate ALL our youth, EVERY child, not just the ones we like the most... how full-on crazy is that?? Why is this new program Government supported? It's horrifying to me, as a Canadian, to watch the Public School System slowly being usurped by this growing movement toward Charter Schools. Who do the parents and supporters think will teach the kids in their special 'private' schools? Better teachers? Did you know that a Charter school can (and frequently does) fire teachers at the drop of a hat? So you know which teachers go for that level of insecurity? Young ones. Scared teachers. Nothing like a little fear to get people to follow your agenda, no matter how crazy. What a shame. Teachers in the Charter Schools are not covered by our Teachers' Union in Los Angeles (UTLA), so it begs the question, 'Does the School Board, and it's School Board Members, elected to the School Board, WANT to break the Teachers' Union?' Seems obvious to me, but I can't understand why some teachers, themselves, support this. They don't see the forest for the trees? The government needs to pour all the avaliable money for Education in PUBLIC Schools, where ALL students are wecome, so we can teach all our kids equally. What happened to equality in America? Are we in danger of losing it? I hope not, not on the Eve of Remembrance/Veteran's Day. Too many people have fought waaay too hard, and far too long to happily give away equality in the name of someone thinking their kid is waaay more special than the next one... scray. Nope, all special, all deserving of an excellent education... wonder what we can do to turn back the clocks on this issue... wonder what Jerry Brown can do to try to fix this potential disaster in the making?

Okay, let me jump off that Soap Box, go back to watching some great shows on TV...! We're thrilled to see Conan back on TV, and even better that John Hamm is on the show.. yippee! Cara and I canny get enough of John Hamm, he's sooo handsome! Yum! And I've been ordering more and more jewelry from DHgate, my favourite, favourite Chinese Wholesaler... I loove them! Their prices are craaaazy low, my favourite price, other than free, any time! Last year I was trying to figure out Dropshipping, where you find really great prices on all sorts of stuff, like jewelry, but on anything, then sell it elsewhere, like on eBay, or at a Farmer's Market ... they sell everything you could imagine, and all sorts of stuff you would be amazed by.. like the little 'car mouse' for your computer... it's a mouse shaped like a Ferarri... how funny is that? A great Stocking Stuffer, fer sures, eh?? (There's the Canadian coming out! lol!) Okay, that TV ain't gonna watch itself, so I better get back through to the living room! I hope you get a chance to say a little prayer or words of thanks for the Troops who are out there, right now, and for all Veterans, past and present, to honor all the hard work they have done and continue to do... Thank You, Vets! We appreciate all you have done and the hard work you contiue to do! Love, Luck, Good Health & Plenty of Wealth, Ailsa xox!
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Cheap Jewelry -- it's gorgeous and real! I wish I made a commission off of this Chinese Wholesale site, but I don't, dang it ... lots of language barriers, and a slightly long wait for the items to arrive, but they're super-cheap, real stones... and the clothes are great, too, but if you're over 5 feet, order larger than your regular size! lol! Enjoy!! I've bought soo much stuff from this wholesaler -- and I wear it all the time :)

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010. OMG, that Crazy Marty on Survivor!! Can you belieeve that, giving away his Immunity Idol?? hahaha! How stupi is this guy?? (You know I love the word 'stupi'... pronounced stooo-peee, as in something someone might do in a POOL, in the middle of a GAME, when other people have to jump into said pool.... eewwww, and here, I liked Fabio before he did his little widdle in thre pool! Yuck!)

So the whole time Cara and I are watching to see how the conversation will go between creepy Sash (is that his name?), who is THE laziest of all the lazies (although pretty much ANY of the young people, except for Alina and Chase, are painfuly lazy... I hope that's not generational, because we're gonna need them to work hard for us in their future, to pay for our retirement! hahaha!)... anyway, this Sash guy lays about all day, waiting for Old Jane to go get him some fish, for Marty to simply hand over the Immunity Idol, and what happens?? Jane hands over the fish, and Marty hands over the Idol... this Sash guy might like to consider running for office! Getting people to do your bidding for nothing ain't easy!

Man, what a fragmented little team, the Marty Team... what will I call them if he is voted out, since that's about the only name I can remember... what can I say, I know a lot of men called Marty (some good, some very, very bad...)... but with the New Merge, next week, watch out, baby, let's see what's gonna happen. I love that the loveliest of all the girls, NaOnka (NOT a PE Teacher, as the show suggests every damm time they show her name -- infuriating to me -- remember when I was sooo mad at the possibility that she MIGHT be a real teacher in L.A., so I looked her up in the California Commission of Teacher Credentials... you can look me up on there, and I'm on it, all right, because I AM a real teacher in California, but she is NOT a teacher of anything -- she's too despicable from all her hateful comments about sweet little Kelly B., the very brave girl with the prosthetic leg, and I couldn't bear the idea of someone that horrible being in charge of sweet little children.... and next week she'll be stealing some precious food from her own tribe ... oh, man, just keep going 'til you're voted out, I say...)

So Jill is out... and I liked Jill, too -- so level-headed... but I wonder if she played too quiet a game, not enough focus on the political side of Survivor? You gotta play the game from all sides... I can't wait for the merge... I canny wait for the Bad Guys to get voted out... oh, and who is this Kelly S.? Purple Kelly, right? We have hardly seen ANY screen time with this girl, and she's really pretty, so she must make it really far in the game... that's what Cara and I secretly believe... if we don't see very much of someone, then all of a sudden, they're in every other camera shot, that's one that will stay for a long time, so we'll see if our theory is right! lol! I loved the 'beach shot' of Kelly S. posing on the beach in her bikini -- a little preview for when she poses for Playboy... a girl can always hope! hahahaha! (Hey, you gotta take your 15 minutes of fame and run with it, as far as you can go... which reminds me, I thought we were gonna see Rachel and Kristin from Big Brother 12 on the pages of Playboy, but, no, not a word from anyone on the 'cast' of Big Brother... seems odd, right? To be on TV sooo much, then just disappear from the public eye?... maybe it's not too late for Playboy with the Survivor Girls... or Girls of Reality TV... would be funny! lol!)

You know, I wonder if I can relate so well to Survivor because I feel a little like I'm on an island with some seriously crazy folk, myself... lately, it seems I am surrounded by sharks... craazy sharks. Hatefrul, disturbed sharks, out for blood... soo not good to be in the damm water with all those sharks, because you know they can't remember not to bite you... it's in their nature. What I have to figure out is how to get out of the damn water, get to some dry land, and then stay away from said sharks for the rest of my life... wosh me luck on that one! lol!

Okay, here's something that might make you laugh... I was gonna title this piece, 'Biitches B Crazy', on account a' all da biitches I've had to deal with in the last few weeks. Sadly, all women. Come on, women, I thought we were gonna band together, unite, don't become a negative stereotype... I thought we'd come a long way, baby. What about Maude? She would be so bitterly disappointed in the crappy way women treat each other, especially in the workforce. What happened to Solidarity? Now it's kill or be killed? Shame. (Did you see how I cleverly changed the spelling of 'biitches' and 'damm'?? haha! I hate being blocked by language checkers!)

So we're hoping, praying and wishing that we can sell our property, here, move back home, asap... I just want to live a normal life, again, free of all the crazy that I seem to be running into a whole lot, down here in Los Angeles... one day it'll happen, we'll get an offer on our house, and we'll be FREE!! Yippee! I look forward to that day! It would be like getting voted off the island, only you wrote your own name on every paper, to make sure you got to go home! lol! I hope you are having a crazy-free week -- write and tell me what that feels like - I'd loove to know! haha! Love & Luck, (and Money!!), Ailsa xox

Saturday, October 23rd, 2010. So there you are! I wondered where you were, and here, you've been sitting here all along!! I will call you 'Lucky', in that every time I happen to 'find' something special, I immediately label it 'Lucky'... like, say, you're sailing around the world, doo-do-doo, having a nice time, the occasional sailor pegs out from malnutrition, but you're the Captain, so no worries... and BAM!, you 'find' a new country -- WooHoo! Really, I think it's 'lucky' that Columbus didn't also call everything he found, LUCKY. 'Cause then when you lived in America, say, a mere hundreds of years later, and they said, Oh, where are you from (people are always asking that sort of direct question... quickly followed by a series of overly personal questions about your credit score, and whatnot...), you would have to say, Lucky, The Land of Luck (hey, isn't that Ireland?? haha!. They wouldn't understand, and a fight would ensue. Whatever. You would still be the lucky one, since you would LIVE in Lucky, and at the very least, would be called a Luckian.... can you imagine how well the casinos would do?? hahahaha! Anyway, I'm thinking about that because we just 'celebrated' Columbus Day, and of course I taught my students the lesson of the controversy around Columbus 'finding' America, and now we're getting closer to the American Thanksgiving... we still celebrate the Canadian Thanksgiving, since we are just 3 little Canadians, wanting to go home... :) Why does God want me to stay in America, if God, is, indeed, helping us to sell our house (He's probably busy dealing with people with NO homes, and He'll get to the peoples -- us -- who just want to sell one home, switch it out for something waaay bigger and fancier! lol!)?

You know what? As soon as we get to move back home to Canada, and buy that giant beautiful house with a fenced in back yard, the very first thing to do is to buy a dog (a really, really cute dog -- something little, like a puppy...!), but wouldn't Lucky be a great name for your dog?? You could say, inappropriately, to whoever is standing next to you, 'Hey, could you go get Lucky?" And they'd look at you like there was definitely something seriously wrong with you, but you'd say, "The DOG, sicko...' (and it's critical that you remain self-righteous, too... it'll fall flat if you kill yourself laughing every time -- wait for da joke to be over, then laugh yourself silly, 'til your guest leaves in disgust.. then you get your whole house to yourself and your new puppy -- what could be better??!). Anyway, I think you know that I would be happy to go on and on with 'Lucky' jokes, (purely for my own amusement! lol!), but I have real stuff to talk about... concerning TV, 'n everything. You know, the stuff that really matters to me... ;)

So here's what has gotten my knickers in a knot, so-to-speak, today... you know how last week, I happened to beg you to watch Running Wilde, the truly hilarious new show on Tuesday nights with Will Arnett (2 t's? I wish I weren't soo lazy as to not bother to look that up, first...Sowwy!), Andy Richter, David Cross... sooo many hilarious actors... the best writing and acting in a comedy since Arrested Development (well, I love Modern Family, too, but you get where I'm going with this...). So Cara told me they cancelled Running Wilde! WTF??? What is wrong with these Networks?? Will another Network pick it up? Cara told me it looked like they won't even play Running Wilde THIS WEEK, like they thought, "This is FUNNY, actually ENTERTAINING, we better get this off the air as quickly as possible...' Ugh. Makes me hate the Networks. Really, it's not a million times better than Outsourced? Puh-leeease. (Outsourced has it's good moments, but it doesn't hold a candle to Running Wilde... that show is hysterical, laugh out loud funny... and it needs to be back on TV.)

So what do you do when a great new show is dropped, just like that? Was there an angry mob, like the Christian Right (I find that name offensive... LOTS of Christians are normal, funny, NOT Republican (not that there's anything wrong with Republicans... many are kind, normal human beings, it's the Christian Right who want to be in charge of what everyone else gets to watch, and that is not okay with me... if they would like the read the Bible all night, every night, have at 'er, but perhaps we only want to read it once a week....or you are in an entirely different religion, here in AMERICA, Land of the FREE... see where I'm going with this? I wonder if it was the super-gay car wash scene, or the mano-a-mano kiss that got them? Pleeease, it's comedy, it's all for a laugh, no harm done... but I haven't really heard why the network (FOX?) pulled it so quickly, but I'd like to know, if they ever have to give their reasons... and more importantly, I'd just like to see the show, Running Wilde, back on the air...)... which reminds me, if you live in California, please consider voting for Jerry Brown, Best Legs in Town... I think that's the campaign he ran on... his legs, anyway... yuff, yuff! But at least he supports the Unions, which is critical, and it's a GOOD thing that he doesn't support the Death Penalty, what with the massive amount of racism/bigotry/'if you're rich you can get off with anything' situation in the courts, here, so only the poorest of the poor would die, anyway (I'm not a fan of an unfair legal system...). We need continued Union Support from the Gov't, since the government in California has done enough damage to teachers (me!!) by giving us (and many other Gov't workers) Furlough Days, which dropped my wages by 10% this year, and God Knows Teachers are barely making a living wage... that's a great way to take great teachers out of the teaching profession -- take away the unions, impoverish them, they'll leave the field in droves, and THEN how strong will your country be?? Please, people need to Think Ahead... and this notion of paying teachers according to how well their students do -- ridiculous. Fantastic if you are dealing with all rich kids, coming from rich homes, having the best of everything... maybe Meg Whitman's house... but you cannot apply that in a system where the money GOES to the richest kids' schools, is not shared fairly, where the kids come in wondering where they might live, tonight, or will they ever find a family who will accept them, forever... we have a tremendous number of students in the Foster Care System, and they have much bigger issues on their minds than Geometry II... I hope to God that Jerry Brown gets voted in in the November Elections in California -- wish I could vote, too, but I am a little visiting Canadian, looking from the outside, in... and I see a lot of trouble... but it can be fixed with good solid, decent governing. Man, oh man, am I on a soap box, tonight! Think it's about time for me to crack open a Strawberry Dacquiri -- the perfect cure for all that ails ye! hahaha!

Omg, this is getting long, and here I wanted to talk about Survivor, too... I loove Survivor, and I love how wussie this little group is... the kids vs. the oldies... hilarious! Not too many are actually kids OR oldies, so that's my favorite part! Poor arrogant Marty... that drives me craaazy when someone goes to Tribal Council with an immunity idol in their POCKET, and doesn't use it out of sheer arrogance. Sooo funny. I particularly love it when their arrogant assses are voted right on out of Survivor, but that's just me -- not a giant fan o' da arrogant assses! hahahaha! I really like the Doctor, Jill (seems very level-headed, and I like that in a person), and I like 'Fabio'... he seems like a good kid...honest, at the very least... I cannot stand that horrible little Brenda -- ugh, so conniving (and her lips are icky, probably from a lack of smiling over the course of her entire life), and what is up with keeping Danny, when everyone knows he has massive wealth?? Why not keep Jimmy Johnson, then? At least he was a lot of fun to watch, and you felt like you might learn a little something while you were watching youse favorite trashy Survivor?? It it Holly, the one with the googly eyes? Man, I wish they would do a little skit on SNL about her, and this new cast, this season -- there are some real crazies, but Holly is like a made-up character, you wouldn't really think someone would be that bizarre in real life, but I guess that's what makes Survivor sooo much fun to watch -- you're so thankful to be in your own livingroom, with no shortage of popcorn and chocolate (and beer!), so you can sit back and just watch the misery happen -- what a fun night! lol! Okay, I gots ta bounce, Baby! Enjoy watching whatever it is you like to watch, just remember to always over-indulge! hahaha! Love & Luck, (and Money!!), Ailsa xox

Friday, October 15th, 2010... Hey, You.... You, you, you! My favorite You! So, how was your week? Problem-free?? haha! Really, does anyone really ever have a problem-free week?? I would love to meet that person (I'm assuming there's only ONE! lol!) Do you like my new 'White' page? I'm trying to simplify my life, and it looks like the only part I can try to make better by pushing a few buttons is my website! hahaha! Ah, well... you control what you can, try to survive the rest, which, of course, brings us to one of my favourite crazy reality shows, Survivor. Aaah, I love the fights, like I don't get enough of that at work (yes, this week I was locked in a room with an administrator -- and, no, I don't tell you that to make you all jealous o' my fancy life... which reminds me of my fave new song, 'You Fancy, Huh?" hahaha! If you haven't heard it, you gotta get hold of it, listen to the lyrics, you'll laugh out loud! You're a Grade 12 Graduate -- you fancy, huh?? hahahaha!)

So I loved it on Survivor when they switched up the 'old' with the 'new'... I would, quite frankly, enjoy a show with the stupids versus the smarties, and let the people themselves decide which team they belong on, since it has been my experience, and, no, not just based on my wonderful week at school, that the stooopidiest of all da peoples firmly believe they is da smartiest... check it for yourself... have a wee chat with someone you KNOW is an idiot, ask some telling questions so you can find out how brilliant they think they is (if they read this and think this is fer real, that's problem # 1... see how easy this experiment will be?? hahaha!). OMG, I think I just hit on a gold mine -- this would be soo much fun to watch! Would there even BE anyone on the stupi team (pronounced -- stoooo-peee)?? Man, I would soo watch that, and root for whoever wasn't a total douche... yes, I said it. It's on TV, now, so maybe AOL won't block it! hahaha1 (Now who da stupi?? Meee?? Well, not da first time, today!! lol!) (Why, yes, I did just have a Strawberry Dacquiri, and I have no idea why you alwasy ask me that... lo!)

Well, the charming NaOnka didn't say anything truly horrendous about a person with a disability, this week, because she was switched over to the 'oldie' team, so I would imagine there was a little celebration by Kelly B., the courageous amputee on the 'young'uns tribe)... NaOnka didn't mention, vehemently, throwing anyone's prosthetic leg in the fire, or nuthin', but man, the grammar for this 'teacher'... puh-leeeease. Teachers need to know how to speak good, right?? hahaha! Gooder? It drives me craaazy, every time they put NaOnka's name on the screen, followed by "P.E. TEACHER"... ugh. No. NOT a teacher. Maybe she KNEW a teacher, and that's the reference... so that irritates the hell outta me. And I love that she wanted to quit because it was raining. Really? Raining on Survivor, and you say you got wet? Oh, no! That's never happened before, so it's not like anyone couldda planned for that, or NUTHIN'... ugh. Quitters are annoying (which reminds me of one of my favorite friend's jokes... he's not in AA because he's no quitter... hahahaha! if you're all sensitive to that, I sooo sorry, but come on, that's funny!! Makes me laugh, every time! haha!)

And now that power-mad Marty is on the youngish tribe (not-so-young, any more!), and has lost almost all of his power. It's hilarious that the 'oldies' are treating the youngies as if they are children, but there's onot one 'kid' under 18, there... so what's that all about? Nothing more insulting to a young person than not being taken seriously by an oldie, so I'm lovin' the new dynamics. And hysterical that the old ones immediately betrayed their own team members -- what does that say about being older and wiser?? haha! Nothing like a little betrayal to liven up a show! So they voted off the Fire captain... too bad, I thought he was cute, but you never want to put yourself on the chopping block by standing out too much as the leader... the next sound you hear is whaaack! And not just from that poor chicken's neck, nweither!! haha! Why didn't the take the meat off the chicken, and cook the bones? What, no one knows how to stretch a meal? Seriously, wouldn't you learn all about Survival Skills before you headed out on survivor?? Boil the bones, make a nice soup, and wouldn't it be wise to study edible plants, so you would do a search to see what God might have left for you to pick?? haha! (Foof for religious folks and botanists! lol!)

Oh, and have you seen that new show, Running Wilde? OMG, soooo funny. If you loved Arrested Developent, you'll laugh yourself silly over Running Wilde. Will Arnett is hilarious, and I love the character Fa'ad, his ultra-rich buddy, and Andy Richter made an appearance -- laugh out loud funny... the car wash scene was sooo hilarious, you know they must have killed themselves laughing when they were making it :) It's on Tuesday night at 9:30pm... search around, you'll find it... soo worth watching :)

Are you getting all ready for Hallowe'en?? It's a very big deal in our house, and we're planning to go to Disneyland for their big Halloween Paarty... no alcohol, but I'll make up for that by gorging on Caramel Apples -- me favourite!! Yum! Whenever I have to pay for some assinine thing I don't want to pay for (more on the crazy neighbor story as soon as some time has passed... but let's just say that insanity cost me $350, which is 70 Caramel Apples -- that's a whole lot of fun for me that I missed out on, all because of someone else's lunacy... this lunacy business is really starting to get to me -- must move back to Canada, Land of the Normals!! haha!)... anyway, I love Caramel apples, and the caramel apples at Disneyland are d-i-v-i-n-e. Yep. Watch out, fifty pounds, I'm trying to find you, put you on!! hahahaha! (Okay, that little joke is just for me!! haha!) Hope you're having a greeeat week, and have a fantastic weekend! Go get you a Caramel Apple, and save one for me!! lol! Love & Luck, (and Money!!), Ailsa xox

Thursday, October 7th, 2010. So you know who I hate? Well, as usual, I have a sorta long list, but I particularly hate that girl on Survivor, NaOnka... her full name is NaOnka Mixon , and do you know why I know that? Because I was soo disgusted with this girl claiming to be a P.E. Teacher in L.A., and then spouting hateful things about Kelly, the girl who is doing her very best with one leg -- OMG, this NaOnka is a nightmare, and since I am a REAL teacher in LA, I just couldn't go another day without looking up her credentials, and she does not have any listed with the California Commission on Teacher Credentials. So, there. She IS NOT a teacher. Thank God. Someone that reprehensible should not (and hopefully wouldn't) be a teacher. Ugh. And why is it so easy for some people to defend terrible behavior by simply declaring themselves 'ghetto', and it's suddenly acceptable. Nope. Never acceptable. I hope this girl is raked over the coals for her horrible words against this young girl, Kelly, who is a shining example for how capable she is as an amputee. Man, that stuff infuriates me.

Okay, that said, I am loving the 'Old Team'. Hilarious that 'old' is anyone over 40, and 'young' is anyone under 30, so what happened to the 30 Somethings?? haha! And is it just me, or are there more castaways with good strong personalities on the 'old' team, or do we just have more air time of them?? haha! I loooved when the young team danced/marched into the competitions with their little chant -- sooo funny! But I cannot believe they voted off Jimmie Johnson, the NFL Coach -- man, he was fun to watch. I wouldda kept him around as londg as I could just to see what I could learn from the guy (plus, maybe he would totally know some football players he could set me up with! lol! Always lookin' out for Number One!! haha!)

Already lots of in-fighting, my favourite part! It's such a great human drama, and is an excellent reminder why you would NEVER want to go on a vacation with people you don't know -- too many crazies out there to get stuck with folks you don't know for anything longer than a few hours! lol!

So I've had a particularly tough few weeks, thus the 'no writing' for a wee bit, but I think I'm getting things under control, now, thankfully. You know when you just feel overwhelmed with life... I found myself wishing I had a man in my life to take over for me, handle all this difficult stuff, but, dammit, no man at this point, so I had to sit down and figure out how I could solve one problem at a time, and just went through my list o' problems one at a time, and took care of them.... I'm on Problem # 3, right now, and have almost finished with that, too... a plumbing issue with a neighbour... more when it's all resolved, so I can tell you the whole story. (lol!)

Okay, I hope you are having a FANTASTIC week, with no problems whatsoever! Write and tell me what that feels like! haha! I canny wait 'til I have a whole week or, imagine this, a whole month (year?? lifetime??? haha!) of being problem-free.... wonder what that feels like?? lol! Write to me -- I love your letters! Put Survivor or something specific in the subject heading, so I know you're my favourite Reader! lol! Love & Luck, (and Money!!), Ailsa xox

Thursday, July 8th, 2010. So, did you watch Big Brother 12, tonight?? And have you guessed who the Sabateur is, yet? Did you love that they put the word, 'Sabateur' up on the screen so people could say it and sound it out, AND know how to spell it?? haha! Good idea! I took note, too! Sooo, I think Annie... she's kind of the sleeper of the group, and Lane, even though he's like the Silent Lone-Wolf guy, he might really just be a quiet guy... which reminds me of that old line, "silent waters run deep', which I have attributed to more than one boyfriend over the years (lol!), but one day I read this hilarious quote (wish I could remember where), but it went like this... "Silent Waters don't run deep, they don't run at all!" haha! It never occurred to me that a silent guy might NOT be thinking anything at all, just sitting there, a giant lump on my sofa. haha! (Clearly, I'm greatly amused by this, now, and unfortunately, still attracted to the same 'silent types' -- what's wrong with me?? haha!) Oh, yeah, and I had some beer while I was watching Big Brother, so that might totally be clouding my thoughts, right now!

I think the Sabateur on Big Brother could be the really good looking P.E. Teacher from Riverside, California, Branden (Brendan, like the male form of Brenda?? haha!). Really, the lights suddenly go out and you immediately think, 'Oh, it's bed time' (for teddy bears). Hilarious! I gotta bwush my teef!! I gotta hurry! So funny. A clever ruse... :) But all stuff we love, since it's fun to watch it with someone else who will laugh their way with it with you. Oh, and because Brendan is a teacher, maybe he only wants to be on the show for 5 weeks, collect his $50 Grand for being the Sabateur, maybe get noticed by Hollywood, forget teaching and move straight into a Big Movie career?? Like everyone else within 500 miles of L.A.! haha!

I loved the whole 'L'il Brittney' thing, where the only thing I remembered about her was that she said she was newly engaged... and that she loooves Ragan, because she really, really loves the 'flaming homosexuals'. Hmmmm.... if you're still using the entire word, 'homosexuals', are you really in love with our favourite gays?? That's so crazy! But I love Ragan, too, if only for his name, since that's fantastic.... do you think his parents had a Big Plan for their son to be a Republican? haha! Maybe all kinds of open-minded people are using the entire word, homosexual', but I just can't imagine that. IIt's like a clinical description to me... needs to be waaay more fun! Perhaps she could get a visit from Kathy Griffin, learn a little more about 'da gays', and the words to use! lol! (I just finished Kathy Griffin's new book, Kathy Griffin's Memoirs -- it's soo great, you'll love it!)

You know the girl from Vegas? Rachel? Giant chest?? Did she have red hair? Who can remember?? haha! Anyway, she had giant bazoomgas... and did she really say she was a CHEMIST?? hahaha! So strange, I don't know any chemists that look quite like her. Maybe she just bought a Chemist's outfit at the Romance 4 Us store down the street from the Big Brother Studio!

Did you love Enzo, the mama's boy? Uh-oh. That never turns out well. Sure, you wanna love youse muthah', but there's gotta be a limit.. "Oh, Ma, I'd marry youse if youse wasn't my mother..."! hahahaha! Those crazy mama's boys! (Don't marry them, girls!! Get out now, if you see the signs! Plenty of real men out there, one who loves his mom but doesn't necessarily want to MARRY her! hahaha! And if his name is Oedipus, get to runnin'! haha!)

What about Andrew, the Jewish Doctor? Hmmm. Why the emphasis on his religion? Maybe the mole? How religious do you think he really is? Was the religion thing thrown in because people would think, 'oh, a religious man wouldn't try to fool anyone...? Tricky to tell. He seems observant... will be interesting to see over the course of the Season...he was moving around an awful lot when the lights went out, and the 'mole', or 'sabateur' would probaby know the place inside out, so would know their way around... and he immediately offered himself to sit out on the first challenge for HOH (Head of Household), which meant he couldn't be voted out... preplanned?? Perhaps! We'll find out next Thursday! Now my summer looks better! (A sad reflection of my life?? haha!)

So my own life is pretty crazy, right now. My house is on the Market, and I want to sell it quickly, so I've dropped the price by $50,000 (sob, sob!). Ah, well. The prices for houses are waaay lower where I want to move to, so even if I take a loss here, I can make it up on the other side... hopefully1 It's a tough economy, so you have to make adjustments for that. Life didn't work out for me in Los Angeles the way I thought it would. Teachers are not supported, here, the way they need to be, and frankly, I didn't find one good man to marry, so forget it. I hate the law that says you can stay if you're married -- so archaic. It costs a pile to even apply for a Green Card (and 5 years to get it processed, so I've timed out on that one), and I had a principal over the past couple of years who didn't speak to his staff, so there was no way I wanted to ask him for a glowing letter for me to present to the INS. I look forward to teaching in a system where there are truly great leaders, who value and are kind to their staff, and protect them from harm. Seems pretty basic, and I have had some great administrators over the years here, but in order to apply for the Green Card, I needed the full support of my current principal, and , literally, his door was not open to teachers. Go figure. So that's enough, already, and now I just want to go home. Start again. I hope we get an offer on my property, soon, so I can get a new ball rolling, as soon as possible!

I'll let you know as soon as I do about what the Future Plans will hold! I hope to God there's some love in my future! And I hope there's a ton of love in your life, right now!! I hope you're watching Big Brother 12, too, so we can talk about it! Write to me -- I love your letters! Put 'Big Brother' in the subject heading, so I know you're my favourite Reader! lol!

Monday, January 18th, 2010. Happy Martin Luther King Day! I hope you enjoyed a day full of freedom and acceptance of the person you are...I was reluctant to write, today, in case I wrote what I really see in America, specifically in Los Angeles and the rest of Southern California... not all as good as one would like it to be, for sure. Let's just say that America has come a long, long way toward full equality for all, but I, as a visitor to this place, hope there is great change to come. I see racial division where I can't understand it, segregation and self-segregation where it shouldn't be, and I'm not sure why, except for the long-standing racial issues in the States, and everyone still hurts from old wounds, and no wonder. I'm not sure that time heals all wounds.. depends on how deep they are, right? I do see tremendous hope on the playground at my son's school, where all the kids play together, as they should. Maybe we're just one little generation away from complete harmony... wouldn't that be great?? Maybe we could all get blue Avatar bodies, then all be as one?? (And super tall with a tail! Which part appeals to you the most -- being blue, or having a tail?? What? Who's the dirty one who just wants to get a little tail?? hahaha!)

So, on a muuuch lighter note, I just watched The Bachelor, or as I believe it should be called, The Bachelor's B*tches... lol! Those craaaazy girls! And I'm not kidding about the crazy part -- they should have a sequel where we get to follow the girls through therapy, with the girls going straight from the limo that quickly whisks the losers away straight to the therapist's office... maybe the therapist could be the limo driver? I don't know, I'm a little tipsy and haven't thought the whole thing through, just yet... but I don't think the therapist HAS to wear his speedo through the WHOLE session... that can get soo awkward. For the Speedo. Does Bachelor Jake have a section in his contract that requires him to have his shirt off for minimally 30% of the show?? Yick! Aand, I have zero access to a studio or a camera, so my show idea is safe, for now! lol! (That's my 'Cold Cure' that's laughing -- I'm much more difficult to amuse than that... in fact, I hardly laughed at all through the Bachelor B*tches comedy routines, and they were there with Jon Lovitz, who is hiiiliarious... what's wrong with those girls?? Does desperation make you not funny?? Uh-oh! Good thing I left desperation behind about an hour ago! I had a feeling it wasn't doing me any good! haha!)

Here's a weird thing... I have Charlie Sheen's Two and a Half Men on DVR (I looove DVR!), which Aidan and I really like to watch together (my little man, Aidan, my 10 year old son, if you're new to my site, and if you are, Heelllooo!! Try the 'Cold Remedy' It's a Two-Drink Minimum Site -- sorry, those are the rules... my job is just to enforce them! No, that's silly. I can't really enforce the rules, I am really more of an 'encourager', or co-dependent... you choose your own fancy word... and you don't have to count your drinks -- that's totally annoying. But if you do happen to have a spouse, and lucky you if you do, maybe they're already doing all the counting for you -- see how helpful that is? And charming, too. Suddenly, being Single has an upside! hahaha!) Anyway, I digress (odd for me...). I find it bizarre that Charlie Sheen can 'allegedly' (spelling? I'm too lazy to get out my dictionary, or check it online... really, I just make reference to my favorite Oxford Dictionary... I'm old school like that!) hold a knife up to his wife, the mother of his new children, on Christmas morning, and go back on his show virtually unscathed, and Tiger Woods is held to this Gold Standard (that's not right! I think I mean LOW Standards... those words is soo tricky to remember!) for cheating. Not that cheating isn't horrible -- it is, but it's not the same as physical abuse. I was as shocked as anyone at Tiger Woods for his betrayal of his lovely wife, and I'm not sure why they didn't just get a divorce, if he had such a need for soo many other women (or one other woman... you know the drill, so-to-speak). But you'd think that physical abuse, or the threat of physical abuse, would have more serious ramifications than something you would see on Cheaters. (Is there any way we might be able to see that on Cheaters?? 'Cause then I would actually watch that show, fer sures. You know, I'd like to see if Tiger Woods orders the drink, first, or does he get the girl and then the drink? What's the order? I'm curious where I shouldn't be, apparently! lol!)

My new 2010 calendar has a picture of a beach on it (I love a nice beach!), but the January picture has one set of giant footsteps walking across a beautiful beach, and every time I look at it, it reminds me of the Footprints in the Sand poem. Remember that? Where the person says to God, 'hey, how come you left me alone when I needed you the most?, and God says, 'That's the time I carried you" (God is wonderful like that...) Anyway, I feel better when I look at that picture, and think of those words. For sure this is going to be my most difficult year, yet, so I bought myself a little bracelet with Black Pearls (very pretty -- the pearls are really different shades of purple and green), with a little silver bead in the middle that says 'Courage', so I figure between my favorite Jesus bracelets, which I wear every day, my little 'Courage' bracelet, and my little calendar picture, I can get through the tough times this year. It's funny, some years you get to just ride out, and some years you know there has to be big change in your life, but I'm hoping the Big Changes will lead to a better life... always worth a shot, right? It's never too late to make a change when things aren't going the way you need them to...I hope you have a year you can just relax and enjoy -- man, that would be great!

Otay, I've gotta get to bed... alone, dang it! Ah, well... at least I'm not on The Bachelor! Eeeewwww! hahaha! Hey, wouldn't that be the perect show for Tiger Woods?? But in the end he could get to keep them all?? And maybe they could bring their friends over, too? hahaha! Luvs 4 U (I'm learning text language!), Ailsa xox!

Wednesday, December 30th, 2009. Happy, Happy New Year, Baby!! I hope you get everything you want from Life this year, and maybe a wee bit more, since often it's the stuff that's completely unexpected that turns out to be the most amount of fun, and brings the biggest rewards!! Man, can you believe it'll be 2010, already?? Doesn't it feel like we were just preparing for the downfall of all we hold dear -- the computer, electricity for the computer, heat... remember the chaos that came with the celebration of the new millenium?? So silly, when I think back on that! I know I had a huuuge plan to take the trailer out to the mountains, where we would live in the woods, and make the best life we could for ourselves, then it turned to the year 2000, everything was fine, and we were back to normal life with two little kids (Aidan was only a year old for my 'escape plan' year! haha!), a husband, a house and a dog. Hmmm. Now I'm in a Condo with no dog.. maybe next year I'll get a dog... think I can let go of the idea of finding a husband! lol!

So speaking of not finding a husband, I'm really mad, these days (yes, completely unlike every other day when I'm mad about something or other! hahaha!) that I would have to actually find a damn husband just to get to stay in the country. I was sooo so hoping that Obama would bring in some wonderful new legislation introducing a much more Foreigner-Friendly Immigration Policy, where people who are already here and working, could easily apply and get a Green Card, thereby allowing me to stay, whether I meet someone wonderful or not, and that would take a whole lot of pressure off of me. Dang, I shouldda written more often to President Obama to explain my plight. The Plight of the Single Woman who can't seem to meet a decent guy... blah, blah, blah! lol! And, of course, to make my position a little stronger, I would definitely mention the other 11 million or so illegal immigrants (who appear to have more rights than I have, but that's just a little pet peeve I carry around, daily...) to see if we couldn't maybe implement a Brand New Immigration Policy. Remember Hillary Clinton ran on that platform? I thought, for sure, that Obama would take Hillary's great ideas for Change that we were promised so fervently, and make them his own... why not, right? Who cares where a Good Idea comes from, as long as you are the one who can make it happen?

I really don't know what this year holds for me... most likely, a Big Move, one way or another. Most likely back to Canada, since I really do struggle every day with the idea of having to move over choosing to move before I'm just booted right out the country... sucks royally. I technically have one more year left on my current Work Visa, but I really haven't met a decent man (who is truly available), and I don't want to 'waste the pretty', so-to-speak. I think I am lucky enough to still look great at my age, and I think I should get on with looking for another new relationship in a place where men are nice, and frankly, that's Canada. Canadian men are great! Maybe there are some good men in L.A., but they are not in my room, right now, so I can't find them! hahahaha! (okay, clearly, I'm just amusing myself, right now!)

Okay, that's enough about me, let's talk about YOU!! How are you doing, like, really doing? Happy? Satisfied with your job, your relationships, your family situation, are you lucky enough to have a DOG??? haha! (Can you see my new focus? I need a house and a DOG!) (And a relationship -- I'm good with the family and I like my job...) Have you been reading those Self-Help books to get you what you want? I used to read them (everything I could get my little chocolate-covered hands on), but I now I just don't care anymore. I figure, I'll just do the best I can, deal with the consequences, be what they may. So far, has not worked out well, at all. Ah, well. What are you gonna do?? Buy more alcohol?? Good Idea! I knew you were brilliant, I just couldn't prove it, yet, and now I have all the proof I need (150 Proof!!) haha! Well, maybe this'll be the year that we all get what we have always wanted -- lots of love, lots of fun, lots of drinks and lots of food... did I already mention lots of chocolates? Oh, yeah, and lots of great books to read! That's not excessive, is it? Oh, man, I forgot to add 'lots of money', since money is fun to have, right?? I wish you all sorts of extra love, money, fun and chocolate!! Happy, Happy New Year, Babeez!! I hope you have the BEST year of your whole life (but then each year after that'll be even better and better!)! Lots & Lots of Love, Ailsa xox!

Friday, just past midnight, November 13th, so I guess that makes it Friday the 13th, Baby!! Oooo-oooh! Dinny be a'scared, jus' run out an get you a Lottery Ticket! The 13th is me lucky day!! And now it's your lucky day, too!! Get to scratchin'!! haha! Which is what I have been doing, lately, because I was convinced I had ringworm, whatever the hell that is, because I, like anybody else wit' a computer, looked it up!! hahahaha! And I had heard some rumours that ringworm was going through my school, and like anything else you ehar about, the idea gets in yer little head, and the next thing you know, you're searching it on Google!! hahaha! I'm laughing, because I realize now just how silly I can be, from time to time! So I spent my whole day off (Remembrance Day, which we take very seriously, and always, at the very least, stand in silent prayer for those Veterans we have lost, those who have served and come home, and those who continue to serve, and we wanted to go down to Santa Monica Beach, too, since they put the white Crosses out on the beach, and it's is intensley moving to read the stories of each person lost...) Anyway, we didn't make it on account o' my near-hysteria about that damn ringworm.

Of course, I didn't bother my shirt to look at any actual pictures of the ringworm, since I figured that would be pretty icky, so I went purely on the description and my own imagination, and WHAMMO, they were completely alike! Except for the circle part of the 'ring' thing... haha! Man, I'm gonna make a crappy hypochondriac, one day, and God Knows I wouldn't fare well as a doctor! I'd have to have the patients just descirbe their issues to me, but not in so much detail that I would feel quesy... I don't fare well with All Things Medical! lol! I did declare to the doctor that no one gets to touch me, anymore... yick!! Who knows what they have! Right?! What? Too excessive? Okay, well, maybe I lighten up on that part a wee bit...!! So I guess I'm saying that I'm completely fine, except for a small problem with enjoying a good Internet Search... think you get me drift ovah' heah'! :)

You know what I'm starting to get excited about? Living for next to nothing! Yippppeeee! Imagine not paying a fortune to live every month! God, what will that be like?? I'm telling you, maybe the Key to Happiness is to live in a giant city with insanely high housing prices, then when you move anywhere else, you'll feel like you're King o' da World, without the annoying downfall/backlash from declaring yourself Royalty!! hahaha! (Yes, I am here purely to amuse myself, and I don't know why you have to be so accusatory about whether I've just had my 'Cold Cure', but if you must know, yes, I have, and it was deeelicious. And I canny remember whether I had a cold or not -- who cares?? haha! It's my new favorite treat!

Oh, and speaking of 'my new favourite treats', when I was at the doctor's, yesterday, they weighed me, and how annoying is this? You know those 7 pounds I just lost? Well, they were hiding at that damn doctor's office, waiting to pounce on me the second I stepped on their idiotic scale (which is what all scales should be called -- idiotic -- those bastard scales!! hahahaha!). So, dammit, I have to start having my Apple Crumble every day, again. Not the worst thing in the world, but I was still making my way through my Hallowe'en candy (and my 'mine', I mean 'Aidan's'! haha Soo great to have children! They have to go to bed sometime, then you can totally take all their candy! hahaha!) (Otay, that last joke was brought to you by The Cold Cure!! haha! Scroll down a wee bit to see my 'modifications' to my favorite new drink!)

Oh, yeah, let me get to Survivor, or what I like to call it, The Russell Show! Omg, do you loove Russell? That crazy mf... what a nut! He's soo sneaky and conniving, and soo smart with fnding all the Hidden Immunity Idols -- that guy deserves to win! I can't stand when some wimpy someboy wins by flying under the radar, even though that's a good strategy unto it's own, but I love a scrapper, a little fighter, and that's Russell! Remember when he was screwing with everyone's head, taking their socks, or emptying out their water canteens, so they would struggle physically, which gave him quick control over their mental state? Man, that's brilliant! I never would have thought to screw someone over, but maybe me change my ways, take a page out of the Russell's Big Book of Screwing People Over... hahaha! A Big Seller at Christmas, no doubt!!

Otay, it's a School Night, and I gots to bounce, Baby!! I hope you're havin' a great week/day/year/life!! haha! Cheers to Good Health and Happiness!! And Thank You to all the Brave Men and Women who have served their countries for us -- I can't imagine the level of bravery and courage you would have to have to do anything like that, so Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!! Our Prayers and Thoughts go out to you! Luvs and Distant, Distant Cuddles, Ailsa xox

Saturday, October 31st, 2009! Happy Hallowe'en, Baby!! How you doin'?? You looks great! Maybe a little heavy on da Green Make Up, but udder dan dat, you looks fantastic!! What's that? That's not Green Make Up, you just not feelin' too good? Well, have you come to the right place... :) I have made some fancy modifications to my favorite new 'Cold Remedy'. Now I 'take it' proactively... I used to have an administrator who loooved the word proactively, so I've used it for a laugh, ever since...! Anyhooo, here's da newest version o' me favorite Proactive Cold / Touch of a Sore Throat / I think I stood Beside Someone Who Looked Like They Might Be Coming Down With Something-Cure...! lol!

Cure for the Common Cold: I would try this with any cold or flu... anytime I was sick, or perhaps any evening... :) !!

1 oz. Bourbon -- I didn't have Bourbon in my vast 1970's Bar (there it is, again, with the 70's references!), so I used Whiskey, instead... Glenfiddich Scotch Whiskey...

(New -- now I am all out of Whiskey and Bourbon, so tonight I tried the Hennessy, and it was deeelicious... hope it still works! haha!) (Who cares?? Now it's just a great drink!)

8 dashes of Bitters (really, I lost count...! haha!) -- the Bitters has 47% alcohol! WooHoo! You're feelin' better, already! lol!

(Who knows how many dashes of Bitters I'm putting in, now -- I feel like the Bitters are the magical ingredient... I'm pourin' the stuff in! hahaha!)

(Yes, I used the 7Up until that was all gone, and now I see that any lemony fizzy pop/soda will do...! )

And then I accidentally added in some 45 Proof Spiced Rum... and see, me all better, today!! Taa Daa!! (Picture me in a Gymnast Pose, right after not falling offa da horse thing! haha!)

(Turns out, this particular Spiced Rum -- Sailor Jerry -- is 92 Proof... sooo, I think we can all see how this quickly became my new favorite Drink -- I mean, CURE!! hahaha!)

Initially, stupidly, I made my fancy new Cold Remedy in a glass, but then, quel suprise, the honey wouldn't stir in -- I am far too used to throwing ice in a glass and addin' in da Fun! So, best to make thins in a microwavable cup... see how much you learn, today?? haha! I heated it for about 50 seconds... you want it to be like the temperature of tea or coffee... and then I liked it better with a 'Tea Chaser'... a little too strong to be fun to drink, but it really did work! (Plus, I am a Tea Jenny, so really, I have Tea with everything...!)

(Okay, this works waaay better: Mix all da alcohol together ( I forget and put in the honey, first), but be as smart as you wanna be with the whole Big Decision on when you put the honey in... but heat this tiny amount in your mug for 25 seconds in the microwave, and then take it out and pour in the 7Up or other lemony fizzy drink... deeelicious, and I have a feeling da bubbles do something special, which reminds me of an old joke about blowing Bubbles in the park, but I shouldn't talk about Bubbles without his permission... hahahaha!)

Oh, and I had some guys over to see if I can use these new Half Inch Granite Slabs on my existing kitchen countertops, and I got a bizarre response I wasn't happy with... I know, for certain, it can easily be done, and I cannot stand when a guy (why is it always a guy??) says, "Oh, lady, that can't be done", when in fact, what he means to say is, "I don't know how to do that, so it can't be done..." Aaargh! Mens! Man, if they weren't so cute, they'd be annoyink!! hahahaha!

Otay, I gots to bounce, Baby!! I hope you're havin' a great week/day/year/life!! haha! Cheers to Good Health and Happiness!! And Happy Hallowe'en!! Luvs, Ailsa xox

Saturday, October 24th, 2009. What up, what uuup, Babeez?? Can youse believes it, I writing two weeks in a row?? Whaaat?? Where did all this time come from?? I no got all those annoying classes, no more (can you tell I skipped all me English Classes -- English, who needs it, right? Or is it 'rite'?? Who knows? Who cares?! hahaha!) No, I kiddin'... I've had plenty o' English classes, I just choose to write any way I damn-well like, which leads me to part of da reason I writin', 'aday... I've heard, a lot, lately, about how terrible, how awful, it is for peoples to swear, with that whole 'the only people who swear are those who don't have a better vocabulary... why, if they only had enough words, they would have plenty o' other words to use..." And to those people, I says, "Oh, I see you were raised in the little town of Effin, New York"... because I annoying lak that! hahaha!

No, my take on the whole swearing thing is that it is pure fun. Lots and lots of fun. When you're a teenager, it gives you a special sense of freedom, to use language that is supposed to be off-limits, and when you are an adult, you sometimes need a few expletives to truly express yo' point of view, right?? haha! Who wants to hear a real person say, "I'm having a little trouble with this unpredictable car.." Much better to hear, "I hate my f'n car, this thing sucks royally, and I never know if it's ever gonna f'n start, and it's ruinin' my whole f'n life..." There. Which one is more expressive? Dat right, da sweary one!! You tolerate the conversation with the first perfect person, and look forward to the conversation with your sweary friend! lol!

So last week, my lovely wee 10 year old son, Aidan, says the word 'ass', and quickly looks over at me to check my response-o-meter, and I looked back at him and said, Oh, are you trying out something new? Little man. He's growing up! As long as the kids know when they can swear, and when they absolutely cannot swear, I think the more moderate sweary words are okay... but then, I am a fairly lenient Mom... I want to raise good, healthy, happy, funny, well-adjusted kids, and swearing doesn't top the list o' Bad Things for me. Stealing - Bad. Cheating - Bad (but there are circumstantial issues here, so maybe a little open in dis area...! haha!). Hurting someone else - Bad. Swearing -- aaah, some of it is okay... da Big Bad Words have to be kept to adolescence 'n older, and then used in the correct company (your boss only if they are waaay cool, and they already really like you! I learn that by experience! hahahah! Now I only make myself laugh! haha!)

Did I tell you about my New Business Idea? I soo excited about it! I have the most annoyink bathroom tiles -- those little 1" tiles from the 70's... God, why did they like everything so damn little, back then?? I love the giant 24" tiles, but then, I'm known for liking everything big... (little joke for you, there...! haha!).Anyway, over time (can you believe almost 40 years have slipped by since the 70's?? Say it ain't so!), those damn tiles have gotten out of hand with mold and grime (I think that's my very first time actually using the word 'grime' in a sentence... hmmm, must be getting ready for my new BUSINESS!! Yippee!!), and they look awful. I'll take some Before and After pictures, as sooon as I get to the 'After' part!

So I have discovered a way to clean the hell outta those tiles, so they will look brand new, again... how cool is that? One, I loove to clean -- I love taking something that's just filthy, and making it all sparkly -- not sure what that's all about, but there's a little insight into my personality! haha! And two, I like to live my own life, not be hassled with other people telling me what to do (or what NOT to do, so having my own business really appeals to me, again... my website is my own business, but until I get to 100,000 visitors a day, it's not turning a good enough profit to be called a real business... you can help me with that little goal of getting my traffic numbers up on my site by telling a friend about me site... pweeease! Really, you know me, I'm not above begging. Pweease, I been beggin' me whole life!! Why stop, now?? haha!)

We'll be like the Breck Ads in da 70's (man, how old am I, with all these references from da 70's, today?? haha!), where she told two friends, and they told two friends, and soon there were 'bout thirty new friends, if me math is right! hahaha! (Oh, and me math is frequently wrong... but I quick to correct it, as soon as me notices da problem, or someone gently tells me... my wonderful friend, Melinda ( who is my great friend, my realtor, and perhaps now will work with me in me New Business...)said, very gently, to me the other day, when I was telling her, very excitedly, that I was gonna make $300,000 in the first year from my new business idea, and she laughs and says, 'Baby, I think you gonna make $30,000'... damn decimal points! I missed one!! hahaha! (This makes me laugh, because, really, how stupi is that??) And, of course I immediately thought of not doing the business, for only $30 Grand a year, but Thirty Grand is Thirty Grand, and I can easily expand the business, so maybe I will make $300,000 in the first year... now I'm deternmined to be right with the math! haha! Maybe that's what makes a good enterpreneur -- stupidity and determination! And not wanting to be told what to do! haha!

So my business will be making old tiles look like new, again. I can't wait to fix my own bathroom, and the machine I found (a very, very cool machine) cleans all sorts of things -- window sills -- you know how they get all gross and grimy (that's twice in one day to use that new word!! haha!), shower doors, windows, floors, carpets...kitchen sinks... I'm gonna try it on my oven, and I even heard it can do a phenomenal job cleaning the interior of your car -- oooh, me whole life gonna be all sparkly clean, now!! Yippee!! And, make me some good extra cash!!

I'm gonna charge a fairly nominal fee (maybe around $100, $125. per shower stall.. something like that. I'll have to see how long it takes to do the work, and they expenses involved. I have to make a reasonable profit, but I firmly believe that when there is a service that is needed (restoring those old tiles to new again), and the price is very affordable, people will do it. If you make your price too high, people will say, 'Let me think about it", which means, "I'm not gonna do it..." If the price is more than fair, and moving closer to the low... 'Man, what a great price to get that job done', then you've got a good business. Aaaand, I think I will offer to change out their Shower Head, too. They might as well have a fantastic new shower, if it's gonna be all beautiful and clean, again... why not a new showerhead, too, right? Maybe $50 labor to change out the showerhead, they just purchase whatever one they like? What do you think??

Maybe I could see how well the whole showerhead thing goes over (makes me want to make a bad showerhead joke, but maybe you makin' it yo'self, already...! haha!), then offer two or three different showerheads that I know, for sure, are great (the normal handheld showerhead with a 4" diameter - my personal favorite, a Rain Shower showerhead, with a 6" diameter, and possibly another Rain Shower showerhead, with an 8" diameter, which looks really fancy, and it fun to stand under... ). I just remembered that I had wanted to put in the 8" diameter Rain Head Showerhead in our old house (the one featured on this site...), to start a Day Spa. We had a beautiful Steam Room, tiled all the way around, ceiling 'n all, in it's very own room, with 24" tiles (did I mention they me favorite...?? haha!)...man, that was a beautiful room, and it was a stunningly beautiful house. Really, I should build that house, again. Maybe next year. I'll see what country I'm in! haha!

Oh, and in case you interested, I have moved from the Withdrawal Stage with Mr. WTF to the I Don't Give A Damn Stage, which is a formal, technical phrase used primarily in Therapist's offices everywhere, but I throw it around wildly, here, for my own amusement, and perhaps for yours, too! Really, truly, me gots ta find a Good Man. Someone who likes to be in Busines for Himself, since I like that soo very much. And someone who can relate to my great need for... uh, well, you know what I have a great need for, but initially, before I done writed dat sentence, I was thinking, still, about running my own business... now I thinkin' 'bout sumfin' else, entirely! hahaha! (Yes, today I am all about just entertaining myself! haha!)

I almost forgot to tell you my New Recipe! Well, it's more of a Recipe-Cure... last night I felt like I had a little cold coming on (I am panicked about the Swine Flu -- or the H1N1 Virus, so we don't offend all da pigs out there...!) I called my lovely daughter, Cara, who is a Bartender by Trade, and she gave me the recipe.. I modified it slightly, as I am want to do, drank it, and feel completely fine, today (although I may just have it again, tonight, since I realy, really felt better after having it -- maybe this is the Recipe-Cure for a Cold AND for Happiness, since I found them both at the bottom of this drink! haha!

Cure for the Common Cold: I would try this with any cold or flu... anytime I was sick, or perhaps any evening... :) !!

1 oz. Bourbon -- I didn't have Bourbon in my vast 1970's Bar (there it is, again, with the 70's references!), so I used Whiskey, instead... Glenfiddich Scotch Whiskey...

8 dashes of Bitters (really, I lost count...! haha!) -- the Bitters has 47% alcohol! WooHoo! You're feelin' better, already! lol!

And then I accidentally added in some 45 Proof Spiced Rum... and see, me all better, today!! Taa Daa!! (Picture me in a Gymnast Pose, right after not falling offa da horse thing! haha!)

Initially, stupidly, I made my fancy new Cold Remedy in a glass, but then, quel suprise, the honey wouldn't stir in -- I am far to used to throwing ice in a glass and addin' in da Fun! So, best to make thins in a microwavable cup... see how much you learn, today?? haha! I heated it for about 50 seconds... you want it to be like the temperature of tea or coffee... and then I liked it better with a 'Tea Chaser'... a little too strong to be fun to drink, but it really did work! (Plus, I am a Tea Jenny, so really, I have Tea with everything...!)

Otay, I gots to bounce, Baby!! I hope you're havin' a great week/day/year/life!! haha! Cheers to Good Health and Happiness!! Luvs, Ailsa xox

more cat pictures> Yes, and we are totally gonna profit from that whole 'subprime mortgage' thing! Somebody has to make a profit, so it might as well be us, right?? Okay, I don't want to get into trouble for saying that about 'getting rich off the backs of the poor', since that really does sound awful, but the reality is that often the people who can really benefit from the foreclosure market are other people who are desperately looking for a better deal on a house, too. That's just reality. Nothing wrong with that, right? Good. Then let's get to buying some property, shall we?? My favorite LOLcats jokes...

Sunday, October 18th, 2009. Good Morning, Sunshine! You brighten up my day... (oh, hmmm... that seems familiar... try singing that, see what you think! haha!) Noo, it is still technically the morning, and on a Sunday, so a tiny miracle, right there, that I am up and functioning, without the aid of any natural drugs, such as my favorite Tea, or something... and you are very, very Sunshiney (maybe it's the yellow glow to youse skin? me not know -- soo hard to see through da computer in da morning -- a breeze in the middle o' da night, though... lol!) So, anyhoo, how you been? Great, I hope! Out and about, buying and selling real estate, me hopes for you! And making a killing, too! Why not? Someone has to make a killing, and it ought to be you, right?? Yeah, I think so, too... you Go, Baby, get out there and makes da money!! (I be right there, me jus' needs some tea, first! haha!)

Well, I was laying in me bed, dis mornin', thinkin' and thinkin', then dreamin' and dreamin'... stoopid Nyquil won't let you wake up in any normal kind of way, but I do like da Nyquil, so, I deal with the aftermath, whatever it turns out to be, and that got me to thinkin' about all the other situations where I clearly do something where there will be lots of difficult, uncontrollable, aftermath to deal with, but I happily delve into it, anyway... that's just me, but I have a sneaking suspicion there are others out there, just like me, who do make some bad decicions, and throw caution to the wind... aftermath, schmaftermath, right?? Yes, I am talking about crazy relationships... remember back in my old married days, when I could tell you all about the downward spiral I called my marriage?? haha! Those were the good ol' days, weren't they?? That was fun to talk about that stuff, because it was the reality of being married during the building of our house, and frankly, more interesting, on a human level, than how big the beam was we just installed -- dat a problem area, too, if you knows what I mean! hahaha!

So, today, I think I will finally share with you, My Favorite Reader (shhh, dinny tell the others, but you is my favorite... it's because you are soo attractive, and that's how I choose my closest friends, like anyone else...! lol!), the reality of my Love Life... are you ready to ruuumble??? hahaha! No, I bein' silly! It's not all that bad, but it's bad enough to have sent me running into Therapy in the summer (didn't work... too negative for me.. I prefer a drink and to keep doing my 'destructive behaviour' until I don't want to do it, anymore... really, that only makes sense to me. As soon as it really is too much for me to handle, or truly destructive in my life, I'll keep doing what makes me, occasionally, very, very happy. Like saying, I'm gonna do Crack, but only on Christmas, or Easter, or both if I've run out of chocolate... -- now, in case you is just visitin', and you don't know when I kiddin', I kiddin' right now... I would always, always, choose a Strawberry Daquiri or a CranCherry 'n Deeelicious Vodka over Crack, any day, because it's right in my fridge, and everyone knows I hate going back out into The Streets, just to get something that I have to pay God-Knows-What for, that might do God-Knows-What to me.. no, I don't have that kind of time... I need something quick, easy and cheap, and that brings me right back to where I started - my relationships! hahahaha! (I laughin', myself, now!!)

You know how Carrie had Mr. Big on Sex and The City? Yes, and remember how much she enjoyed being with him, but he drove her crazy? Yes, well, I have my very own Mr. Big -- accurate enough description, but that name has already been taken, so I be callin' my Mr. BIG, Mr. WTF. Yes. I feel that is a good description. W.T.F. (Will T. Flame, it might stand for, if you have been a'livin' under a rock, 'n desperately trying to break down that acronym...) Last week, I got a lovely email from someone telling me they were so sorry to hear I had no love in my life, and that irritated the hell out of me, as you might imagine, because I do not share my Mr. WTF stories with very many peoples... only my closest peeps, and now that include youse!! (That increases my 'peeps' circle to TEN!! hahahaha!) Really, I'm gonna have to go get that damn Tea, so I stop being soo silly! Maybe the Tea turns me back into a Mom... who knows??

So this is the relationship I struggle with, justifying it on the one hand, because it is ridiculous fun when it happens, and desperately trying to move away from it all the rest of the time... and I believe I am open to new relationships, they just have to be as good as what Mr. WTF has to offer... but on a more regular basis! (And people say regularity isn't that important! I say a million Metamucill users would disagree... yuff, yuff!). (Oh, and if that kind of 'regularity is any sort of real issue for you, just start eating my Apple Crumble Diet thing -- tasty and you'll lose a bunch of weight and never even think about regularity, again... hey, lookey that -- I've just fulfilled the 'use the word three times, and magically the Web Spiders will find it', rule!! Hello new Irregular Folk, if that's how you got in here, following a link to solve that damn irregularity...!!)

I am now in 'Withdrawal Mode', with Mr. WTF... but here's the funny thing about finding a New Man... I seem to attract a younger crowd, these days. And I mean a much younger crowd. Here's the problem with being a teacher, and trying to date a younger man... I quickly visualize them at the age they would've been, had I been teaching them. So I have a very quick visual of them sitting at my feet, stroking my grey suede shoes, when I was teaching kindergarten (yes, all the boys would sit and listen to the Story of the Day, stroking my fancy grey suede shoes, back in the day, when it was not a crime to let your students be kids!) Now, don't get me wrong, that might be fun for the adult version of these 'boys' to stroke some of my new fancy suede shoes... but it is nearly impossible for me to erase that image. I wonder what that's all about?? Maybe I have to let go of the Teacher-Me... at least while I'm dating? haha!

The other thing I worry about with these incredibly handsome young men, is that they are so, so handsome, surely they need to recreate themselves, in the form of many young children... they should be out looking for a new mom for their potential babies, right? I can't help thinking about that, too... and I know it would be wonderful to have another little baby, myself, but it would be far too dangerous, and frankly, I believe in children after marriage (I know, I'm crazy like that! hahaha!)... It's hard enough to have a baby when you're married, so I cannot begin to imagine how hard it would be to have a little baby all on your own... and marriage is not on the table like it used to be.... wha' happened? Is it just in L.A., land of the Big Baby?? haha! (I was gonna make a little inappropriate joke about how much the men of L.A. love the surgically enhanced version of what all real babies love, but look at me try to clean up my act?? haha!)

Okay, so you can see I have a small dilemma between my Old World Values, and my New World enjoyment of all things pleasurable!! Should be a breeze to work through this! Therapy, schmerapy, I'll work through this on my own and wit' me friends! And I will make an attempt at trying not to attach age as such a big issue for me, and I will try to leave the house more often to meet some new men, some of them in my very own age-range!! (Maybe!!) Oh, that reminds me -- there was a very good looking young guy down at my pool, yesterday, and you know I am forever wearin' a bikini, 'n all... anyway, long story short, he calls me Ma'am! Uh, oh! Dat not good, not at all! hahaha! When my students call me ma'am, I always say to them, "Look, I'm nowhere near my 589th Birthday, so just call me Ailsa, please...", and we all laugh and laugh, and when a new student comes in and they call me ma'am, my students all say, "She's not 589, you know! She wants to be called Etha..." no one in my class can pronounce my name, which I think is really funny, too... everything with a grain of salt, right?? haha!

Quickie Update on my 'I'm Movin' Back to Canada' Plan... I always want to move back to Canada when I think I have had enough of the No Good Man for me thing down here in L.A., so at least I am consistent with my anger, and my quick-to-move-out-the-country reaction to it (as far as I understand it, all girls are like this! lol!), and things at my school have been very difficult, this year, too, in part due to an administration change that was very unpleasant, to say the least (I didn't think I could take one more 'courageous conversation'... really, any time someone says to you, "We need to have a courageous conversation", your immediate human response is to say, "No, let's not", and get to runnin'! hahaha! There are Bad Conversation Openers, and that's one of the worst -- nothing good can come of a conversation that warns you, first, that you will need some serious-asss courage to make it through the damn conversation, right? Yeah, it's rocket science! Lucky you were able to follow along! yuff, yuff!)

Lately, things at work have been quite a bit better, thanks to everyone trying to smooth things out, so that's a Good Sign, as signs go, and I have had some fun, lately, so I'm okay, there... but the most significant part of my decision to put off going back to Belleville, Ontario, Canada, for a minute, is that there are no jobs there! OMG! I had no idea. I thought the most difficult part of moving back to Canada would be finding a nice place to live, and then selling this place, paying the taxes, since I've lived in my new condo, here, for less than two years (the no-taxes after two years rule would be shot all to hell, and that would cost me a fair bit, just because I wanted to leave right away...) I did find some beautiful, beautiful properties in the Belleville area -- a brand new high-end home for $403,000!!! OMG!!! It would be like livin' for FREE!! And I looove living for free!! I'm so used to the housing prices in Los Angeles, going back home would be incredible... and there are lots of lovely homes between $100,000 - $200,000, too... I could swoop in, pick them up, renovate the hell out o' them, sell them fast... man, that's a exciting thought. (Ironically enough, building, buying and selling, is almost as much fun for me as having a great man!! It's the only other real 'replacement' I have for that level of excitement! hahahaha!).

But I would need to have a regular Teaching Position to get a normal Mortgage, which I would want... and I looove teaching, so I don't want to live without that... I guess I will just keep plugging away at either finding a good job in Belleville, so I can carry through with my plan of moving back to Canada, or Find a New Man, or find another way to get a damn Green Card (always an issue...one of my many concerns, before, was that I would not be able to get a Green Card within the time frame allotted, because of the changes at my school -- Work-based Green Card, AND that I hadn't found anyone to marry - Marriage-based Green Card... anyway, one way or another, it looked like no Green Card, which means moving back whether I like it, or not, so I thought it might just be best to make the move sooner rather than later, so I could re-establish myself before I turn 50... which is still years away, but I like to think ahead... all a part of the fancy Chess Game I call Life...). Anyway, it's on hold, right now. I will have to Wait and See what happens, and just live out my life while I am waiting... much as before! But the thought of being able to go back and start buying and selling really, really appeals to me, and is keeping me going through the more difficult days. I feel like at least now I have a Good Plan B, and that gives me some solace.

I hope you find some solace in youse own life, today, and maybe a Strawberry Dacquiri, too!! Solace in the Strawberry Dacquiri?? haha! Oh, and I'm gonna be a Fortune Teller for Hallowe'en... yippee! I looove telling peoples they gots a great future ahead o' them!! Okay, Babeez, I gotsta bounce! See you soon! Love, Respect, Kisses and Drinks, Ailsa xox

Thursday, September 24th, 2009. Hmmm, doesn't it feel like 2009 has been long enough, already, and it's time to move on to 2010?? haha! Silly! Who time-travels?? Everyone, from what I can tell, these days... I'm in the middle of reading The Time Traveller's Wife (interesting, but I think I'm at a weird part, so canny read it before I goes to bed! haha!), and I've recently seen The Final Destination, and now there's yet another show on TV (my favorite invention, ever... next to books and chocolate... and one other thing... oh, and alcohol... okay, I clearly gots lots o' favorite things! haha!) about time travel, or time out of time, so-to-speak. Wonder what's creating this new fascination? Not that it's all that new, of course, but doesn't it seem to be coming up a lot, lately?? Hmmm, makes you wonder if you should have another drink... or maybe that's just me! lol!

Nooo, I kid! Because I drunk! Noooo. I just silly! I was gonna have my favorite (see how many favorites I have?) drink, these days... remember how I loved the Bay Breezes they were serving Cara and I in Vegas? The deeelicious drink with Pineapple juice, cranberry juice and vodka? Well, this one is even better, if that's possible! haha! I don't have a name for it, and Cara made it for me, first, then I made her show me how to make it for myself (I tryin' to be more independent, and it all starts with learning how to make youse own drinks -- that's a little lesson for the kids out there, like a Public Service Announcement, you know ... lol!)... Cara is a bartender, by Trade, so she very good at making me fancy new concoctions. For the sake of brevity (I knows you a busy, busy, human), let's call it 'Sunshine in a Cup'. Yuuum. Sounds good already, right? Now how can I add that you will soon be rolled up into a cup, right after you drink it?? haha! No, it probably take two for that to happen, and you won't remember it, anyway...

So here it is, Sunshine in a Cup... you need a glass of some sort -- don't be primitive, this is no time to use your hands...or other body parts... and you're gonna have to drag yourself outta that damn gutter one day, too... geeez. Sometimes I am shocked at how you think! ;)

Okay, so you gots da glass, and you've added the ice, so you don't spill all over the place, later, as I may have done, inadvertently, of course (second drink), right after you've added far too much alcohol, and now you're trying to 'cut it' with more juice and pop! haha! (I makin' myself laugh, now... is that a Good or Bad sign? Whatever! Any laugh is a Good Laugh, I says) Now add in Triple Sec, which is a delicious orange flavor, and an equal part of Peach Schnapps... and depending on how big yo' glass is (or bowl, I don't know how you roll...), another part of Vodka.. top with Sunny D and 7Up. Yuuum. So Yum! Why, it's like being a really, really old kid! haha! (Smaller glass, on the occassions you feel like being all moderate, 'n all, skip da vodka... and that is the only time you'll hear me say that, again! lol!)

You know what? I just kiddin' about you drinkin' out a' bowl (so you can get even more!), but this would make a great Party Punch. And if you made that, and I happened to be at yo' party, then I would see you at da Punch Bowl, Baby!! haha!

Okay, so lately I've been thinking about moving back to Canada... a lot. And I've been checking out property, of course, as I am want to do, and I cannot believe the incredible deals you can get outside of Los Angeles! hahaha! God, how could I have forgotten that it's less expensive to live practically anywhere else?? I was looking, primarily, at the Belleville, Ontario area, because that's close to where I grew up, and I think people are often drawn back from whence they came (I tryin' to class it up a little, after all me drinkin' jokes! haha!). I saw an acreage for under $500,000! Dang!! I think I need that to be MY acreage!! haha! I always loved the idea of buying a larger parcel of land, living on one part, and subdividing the rest of it... and with any luck, building the rest of the houses in, what would then be, Ailsa Estates... nooo. Really, I all full o' myself, tonight! What's that all about?? Not enough attention as a child? Maaaybe! What would you call an Estate Area, if you started one on your own?? Ailsa's Acreages (AA for short... could be appropriate..). A. Estates. "Hey, where you live?" You answer with a slight slur,"I live at A Estates." Everyone think you a jerk, now... not answering their question reasonably... :) lol!

So over the next wee while, I'm watching to see how things go, what it's like at work, how pleasant is it for me to live here versus how nice it would be to go home, so-to-speak... I think I'm homesick for Canada, right now. Maybe it'll pass, maybe it won't. At the very least, I can check out houses for sale, online, which is a great option, if you are ever considering a move, somewhere... pop into whatever area appeals to you, see what kind of prices you're dealing with, what kind of house you can get for the money... what kind of lifestyle you will have.

I was concerned that it might be lonely out on an acreage, since I'm not married, anymore, and God Knows there aint a' nobody comin' round for that, so I would be there for ages, just me and da Boy (my very sweet son, Aidan, who just turned 10, by the way!), but the reality of our lives is that we are alone here in L.A. virtually all the time, too, so the only difference would be we would see fewer actual people, but on the extreme upside, we would definitely have a very, very cute puppy!! (We're all about The Dog!) I'll need to make sure I don't make yet another massive Life Choice based on my need to cuddle something little and cute -- baby or puppy!! (Hopefully, just puppy! haha!) Hmm... so I will keep you abreast of the situation (really, I just thought you might like to read the word 'abreast'... and maybe my site traffic will go waay up at the excessive use of the word 'abreast'... hahaha!)

Oh, that reminds me -- you know how when a Celebrity makes an appearance on a TV Show, they have to mention the celebrity's name 10 times (minimally, but 10 times in one episode is a tricky matter!), well, if you are writing on a website, and you use a specific word three times, it is much more likely to be noticed by the spiders that are crawling through your site (while you sleep... scared, yet? haha!), so please excuse my tardiness (I have a note) and my excessive use o' da word 'abreast'. We good?? We good. You know I always want the Best for You!! Luvs, Ailsa xox

You know what?? I totally forgot to tell you why I mentioned the Celebrity on a TV Show - thing... have you seen the new show, Glee? Oh, man, that is the funniest show! You gotsta watch it, when you get a chance... great writing, perfect acting, and Josh Brogan was on it, last week. It's such a great show that my prediction is that we will see many, many great actors and musicians on it, soon.. I would love to see Justin Timberlake on the show, since the Lead Character looks a whole lot like him... perhaps a half-brother he didn't know about... I just puttin' that out there! lol! Catch it if you can, it's hilarious!

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009. What up, what up?? So, tonight is the Big Night for the Mars/Moon Show... is that really true?? Me wants ta know! And me far too lazy to Google it! haha! Nooo, maybe I will Google it, right after I Google Megan Wants a Millionaire, which has become endlessly fascinating to me.... why was the show cancelled, completely? That makes no sense... everyone knows peoples iz obsessed with all things they can't have, and now we're left hangin', so-to-speak, because a b*stard contestant might have commited a heinous crime.... I think all the women want to watch the show, in all it's creepiness, because they want to watch for clues to the creepiness, so they don't fall for it, too.... are you with me on that one, too? Yes, I want to see all the clues into creep-dom. Come on, TV peoples, let us see the show... edit it if you feel that's best, but let us judge for ourselves.

And I want to know (see, now I have an Inquiring Mind) what happens to Megan from Megan Wants a Millionaire, now? Is her career over because of this creep?? That's not fair! She's a good kid! And I don't like how she is being portrayed in the Media -- a blonde after money -- so what? She wants a successful man. What?? Has that ever happened in the history of Life on Earth, before?? Hmmm. And it's a TV Show, for God's Sake. She has her own money -- she's looking for love, like everyone else.

Which brings me to More to Love. Oh, no. So sad. That is, without a doubt, the saddest show on TV, and wouldn't you know, me loooves it!! I can't get enough of it! haha! Those poor girls, out with that guy who seems like every other guy, except with giant breasts (did you see them? Is that okay on National TV, during Primetime? No, I kidding! I was fascinated, too!). Man boobs. Really. I didn't know that was really true. And now I know. Hmmm. I feel soo sorry for the girls feeling so awful about their bodies -- I guess I thought the Show was going to be all about acceptance of your current body, and be more positive, but the girls all seem greatly affected by their outward appearance. Even on a Show where I think that really was the notion they started out with... such a shame, they're lovely girls. Maybe a Follow-up show will have them changing what they want to change, setting them up with a whole bunch of men, not just One Guy.

And you know what else? I'm not gonna go back to Therapy. Nope. It has caused more trouble than it's worth. I became Angry. No, that's not the persona I want. I like being cheery, and dealing with life as it hits me, so-to-speak! hahaha! There's always a lot to deal with in your life, if you are indeed having a life, and I feel like I don't want to change how I manage my life in what is a more negative direction than what I was already doing... I guess I like things a little complicated, not perfect. Pefect, schmerfect. That not work for me. I'll read The Four Agreements, again, see if I feel more grounded. I'll swim even more, and go back to the gym, which, frankly, I have been neglecting in favor o' an afternoon nap, during me holidays!! haha! Yes, that's right, I'll bury my feelings in Physical Exercise! No! Kidding! I love exercising -- it's good for your soul, and then your body looks great, too (like a little side bonus!). And I will buy a cheerier book to read, since I'm reading A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, right now, and as much as I'm enjoying it, it's not really a Cheery Summer Read! haha! I did start reading Lauren Weisberger (Author of The Devil Wears Prada, Chasing Harry Winston & Everyone Worth Knowing, and I hope, hope, hope she's at home writing something new for me to read by da pool!!), this summer, and her books are a lovely read, so must go find more books by Lauren!!

Okay, that's it, I'm goin' swimmin'! Laps around the pool, and tons o'' jogging in the pool outta fix me up, get me back on track wit' me life! Right?? haha! Well, at least it's fun to do, and I enjoy it, so that's good enough for me, right now. That'll be my new mantra -- "Good enough for me!' lol! I hope you're out there, havin' a great day, and everything is 'good enough for you' in your life!! You know I always want the best for you! Love & Such, Ailsa!! xox!

Sunday, August 9th, 2009. Hello there, You Lovely Thing, You! Dang, I've missed you a lot! You look great! I was gonna say, 'Good enough to eat'. but, really, I suppose that's a little inappropriate, and most likely based on da fact dat me hasn't had any breakfast, yet! hahaha! Sooo silly! (But in a Good Way, not in a 'somebody grab her arms and get them in the jacket' kind of way, right?? haha! lol!)

So my lovely daughter, Cara, and I went to see that new movie, Julia and Julie the other day... luckily, we had time to stop in for Ki-Bombs at the local Sushi Restaurant (beer and a thing of sake on the side... very drunk, very fast, which turned out to be necessary to get through da movie, Julia and Julie!! haha!).The whole thing about this movie is that she, Julie, who is as plain as day, for some unknown reason (really, they couldn't let Amy Adams be a little bit cute in da movie??) is gonna work her way through the Julia Child French Cookbook in one year. Good Plan. Just doing da math on that doesn't make any sense... why not one recipe a day, or more useful to my life, maybe one a month, depending on how much time me gots?? haha!

Now here's MY idea for a very, very similar thing -- I'm gonna do one great Scottish Recipe a day for, oh, SEVEN days... yes, that should cover every great Scottish Recipe! I'll start with Beans on Toast, and end with a Big Finish with me own version o' Sheppard's Pie! hahahaha! Actually, I DO have a great recipe for Sheppard's Pie, and I should put it on me site, fer sures... and maybe one day I will... damn that stoopid laziness is really holding me back! lol!

Noooo! All da Scottish Peoples be all mad at me, now! We have tons and tons o' great recipes, and they don't call for 4 pounds o' butter in every recipe (two pounds, tops! haha!). There's a reason we haven't adopted French cooking into every day American diets... one, who has that kind of time to cook, every day, and who could possibly eat all that fat, and come out alive after 50?? No. Occasionally, a French Recipe, oui, every day a French recipe, ah, non! And all of my Scottish Recipes have been modified to include what I like to call flavor... haha! Ugh, I gettin' meself into all sorts o' trouble, today! Or, more accurate to where I live now, in Los Angeles, "I be gettin' meself into all sorts of trouble, today"...!

You DO want to try the Scottish Steak Pie, though -- it's unbelievably delicious. For Real. No Kidding, this time! At the very least, start making your steak and sausages like this, just serve them with Mashed Potatoes, if that sounds easier... your family and friends will go mad over it, it's just that deeelicious! Maybe I will make that in honor of my wonderful wee boy coming home, next week! My Little Man, Aidan, who is only 9, has been up visiting his Dad in Canada for EIGHT weeks... that's a long time for a Small Man to be away from his Mum, but we're almost all the way through it, Thank Goodness. I have napped as much as any human could, read at the pool for hours on end (so now I have the best tan of my whole life!), taken classes to keep myself busy, worked Summer School, and did not ONCE figure out how to go out and meet a new man. Ugh. Really. That's crazy. All that time with no need for a babysitter, and I couldn't figure out what to do.

Where I grew up in Ontario, Canada (the Belleville/Quinte Bay Area, in case you happen to know it), and where I went to University (Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario), there were loads of places to go dancing, and they were really fun and close by. Here, in Los Angeles, where you would think there are tons of places to go dancing, I can't think of anywhere to go, or who to go with... most of the girls I know are either married or in committed relationships, and I don't want to go with a fellow I don't want to appear to 'be with', if ye' get me drift... those Sex and the City Girls made it look like girls are available all the time to go out to clubs and dinner, but that's not at all the reality for most women. Nope.

It's funny. I'm used to just meeting someone great at work, or you're out dancing,dancing, laughing, laughing, and you meet someone great, strike up a conversation, you're bestest friends by the end of the evening, and then it's on, but it doesn't appear to be that way down here. For one, I know I am very bad for not wanting to drive very far, so I hopes da new person I meet lives within, say, 10 minutes o' where I live! hahahaha! (I laugh on account'a how crazy that is!!), so technically I could go to Hollywood to go dancing, but what a hassle if I DID meet someone up there... that's 45 minutes away, without traffic! Can you see I want the Love without the Hassle?? haha!

I guess that segways very nicely into this next bit... did I tell you I started Therapy?? Yes, at the special request of many o' me bestest friends! Haha! They are very caring and loving, and they were absolutely right -- I DO love Therapy! It's incredibly enlightening. When I left the Therapist's office on the very first day, I felt sooo empowered. Really. It was amazing. He had me 'draw a string', if you will, along all the main men in my life, and look to see what attracted me to them in the first place. (No, this is not about building, today, in case yo' waitin' and waitin' for da building part!! Maybe in a wee bit! lol!) So it seems like I was primarily attracted to anyone who made me laugh, or someone I perceived as being really kind, especially to people with Special Needs, since that is a primary force in my life. And then the physical connection happened AFTER that (except with my old boyfriend, Greg, where it was strictly a physical connection, first, but we have now been best friends for 25 years, so it's all good! Turns out, he was nice and hilarious, as well! haha!)

So we will see where Therapy can take me, next. It's like a journey into your own life, but with a fresh new perspective, so you can look at it differently, see how you can change what you want or need to change... wish me luck with that! lol!

Okay, here's the building part... when things are very difficult, here, in Los Angeles, I can't help but wonder what my life would be like if I were to sell up, here, and live somewhere else. It would mean the ability to build another house, which I would dearly love to do, but then would I be alone in that house? That would be even worse than here, where I am alone in my Condo, but at least I can go down to the pool and see a bunch of friendly faces, have some lovely conversations... must remember that out on the acreage, it was painfully lonely, even though I was married at the time... hmmm. Must mention this to da Therapist!!

On the extreme upside, my Little Baby will be home this week, and I can hardly wait! He says he wants to have a big bowl of Rice Pudding when he comes in the door -- how cute is that?? (Oh, I should put da Rice Pudding Recipe on the site, too, since it is lovely and deeelicious, and super easy to make!) And then he would like my famous Cherry Cheesecake.... oh, what a cutie!! We're gonna be eatin' good, next week!! Screw you, Julia Child, I've got me own recipes, and they're waaay healthier!! (Was that bitterness in dat last line?? Who wrote that?? Otay, me tell da Therapist dat, too! Gonna be a busy Session... haha!)

I will see you soon, Babeez!! You know I love you, from afar (unless you live within a 10 minute radius o' me!!), and want you to have a fantabulous life!! Much Love, Ailsa xox

< > You can look for Michael Jackson CDs, Memorabilia, all sorts of things Michael Jackson on Amazon... they're crazy-busy, right now, with everyone scrambiling to get a little piece of him... maybe some of the revenues from everyone buying a little something will trickle down to the children -- hopefully, there is lots of money for them, and they don't incur any of the debt he might have left behind... so sad! He will be remembered, always, though, so he lives on through his music.

Saturday, June 27th, 2009. Man, soo much has happened, this week, can you believe it?? Three big losses, ending with Michael Jackson. Wow. Who ever saw that one coming?? At least Farrah Fawcett had a chance to say good bye to her whole family, and poor old Ed McMahon, at least he had a full and complete life. There were a million (millions, no doubt!) Michael Jackson Memorial Parties, though, and everyone is remembering him for the incredible Music Legend that he is... his poor family must be just devasteded. I am hoping the children will be kept intact, and will settle into a perhaps more normal life, now... poor wee kids! How sad to lose a parent at such a young age...

And here, I was gonna just tell you about our fun and fancy-free (really: small child free!) trip to Las Vegas (Vegas, Baby!!) this week... and then everything happened that no one expected. Interesting response world-wide, though, don't you think? I was always very fond of Michael Jackson's early work, 'ABC', Ben, you know, all the early stuff, but then I really liked Man in the Mirror, and a lot of his later work, too... too many hits to even write down, but all the radio stations in Los Angeles are playing Michael Jackson's music all day, which is a nice way to memorialize him. I hope he is finally happy, and truly at rest. There was a song I heard on TV, last night, on one of the many Michael Jackson specials, and the song was 'Gone too soon', and it was beautiful, so I wonder, now, if that will skyrocket through the charts?

The part I thought was really weird was the whole thing with Michael Jackson's personal physician quickly leaving the scene, and leaving behind his super-fancy BMW... did he attempt to leave the country?? Would he have been able to do that, if he had left fast enough to get out while the goin' was good?? Man, that can't possibly be a good sign...

So, anyhooo, my daughter Cara and I were in Vegas this past week -- oooh, so much fun!! Our favorite, favorite Casino Slot Machine was this one called Hot Shot, which was hilarious! Hill-arious, is more accurate... and we were slightly tipsy the entire time, so even more fun when this little song would come up in the middle of the game -- you would be spinning and spinning on this machine, then all of a sudden, this thing pops up and shouts, "Hot Shot!!", then this music starts that was very, very catchy, so we were yahooing, singin' and dancin' every time it came up! Have no idea if we won anything on those particular machines (really, any and all winnings went right back into da games!!), but they were a lot of fun! And I really liked this I Dream of Jeannie slot machine -- soo funny! I kept thinking it would be perfect for any lonely and slightly delusional men out there, because all through the game, 'Jeannie' (yes, her real voice! lol!) kept saying "Yes, Master", and when you did something right, she would say, "Yes, Yes, YES!!", and I could imagine all da boys who had a mad crush on Jeannie (and all da girls, too!! haha!) when they were growing up, loooving this game!!

We stayed at the Luxor, the hotel shaped like a pyramid, and the hilarious thing about this place, that, of course, never crossed me mind before we got there, was that the 'elevator' has to go at an angle, on account o' da pyramid shape o' da building! Really, seems obvious, now, but was a giant shock to us when we were in the 'Inclinator'... they don't even call it an elevator, so you know fer sures that you are NOT in any sort of elevator, that might go straight up and not jiggle like crazy all the way up! Cool concept for an elevator on an angle,, though, so I liked that part.

By far, our favorite Casino was The Paris. (Noo, not Paris Hilton -- I don't know how much it is to stay there a night! Really, you're lucky I speak to you, what with your mind in the gutter like that, all day, every day ...lmao!!) The Paris Hotel was soo, so pretty, with really high ceilings, painted like the sky, and the Eiffel Tower is 'in the base', so it gives the appearance that you are literally sitting and gambling right under the Eiffel Tower -- ooh, la la! hahaha! (Yes, you caught me, I am laughing out loud, this very minute!! lol!) Now gonna say Ooh, la la all day!! And the people were really, really nice in there -- they kept bringing us all sorts of drinks -- my new favorite drink that I got to try many, many times while we were in Vegas (!) was called a Bay Breeze, which I highly, drunkenly, recommend!! haha! As far as I know, it was Cranberry Juice, Pineapple Juice, and Vodka, I guess... I just know that I happen to have a lot of Vodka in my fancy 1970's Bar here at my house, and went out, specifically, yesterday, to buy me a giant carton o' Pineapple Juice, so can see if I can match the concoction they made for me in Vegas!! And I am willing to try, over and over again, to mix as many drinks as I have to, until I get it right... that's the kind of committment I have to getting the recipe right! lol!!

So I am 'Single' for the whole summer... technically, I guess, I'm single year round (dammit!), but now I am really, really single, because my little man, Aidan, is visiting his Dad for the summer in Canada, lucky boy!! That means a great summer for Aidan, and a whole lot of time all by myself for me, so must find things (and people!) to fill my hours 'til he gets back... hello bars, my old friends! Cara and I want to check out all the different Happy Hours we can find -- see which ones are great, which ones we will go to only once, if youse catch me drift! lol! And I will hit the gym and pool even more than before, so I should look like I'm about 32 by the end o' da summer (unless, of course, we really do find a great Happy Hour, and we end up there every day instead o' da gym! hahahaha!). Who knows, maybe this'll be the summer a great man comes into my life, who wants to have an actual relationship... wha'?? Wha' she mean by 'Actual Relationship'?? These words are foreign to the L.A. crowd! lol! Okay, maybe just someone to hang out with and have lots of extra-special fun!! (See my standards lower before your very eyes! hahaha!)

Otay, you sweet thing, you, get off o' da 'puter and have a great day!! (Or stay on and buy stuff, like me!! haha!) Oh, and I'm on Facebook, fer sures, (Search: Ailsa Forshaw) so if you want to check out new pictures of me, that's where they are until I can finally figure out how to get those pics on my site -- man, when will me brain struggles ever end?? lol! Must ask my old webmaster, yet again, how to get the new pictures up! You knows I luvs you! Enjoy Yourself, and Shake Your Body Down to the Ground! haha! Ailsa xoxoxox!

Thursday, May 7th, 2009. Man, time flies when you all lazy, don't it?? haha! I sorry about being away for a while, yet again. I promise, though, fer sures, the second I develop some sort of exciting life, I'll start writing a whole lot more often, deal?? Deal! Okay, so that pretty much gets me off the hook for writing for quite some time, right? Years, possibly! lol!

Okay, so here's what I'm stuggling with, these days. (Yes, you are very, very observant, my Smartest Little Reader, ever... I DO always seem to be in a constant state of struggle...) I do not know whether I should bother to put in a very involved application to get my Green Card, so I can live and work in America, forever... I really do want to live and work here forever, but the process is daunting, and it was waaay easier to write that last line (the one about wanting to live and work here, forever...) than it is to truly believe that. It's tricky being an immigrant. Annoying, one might say. I am still jumping through giant hoops just to stay here, and that is irksome, not to mention time-consuming. So, is it worth it? I measure my happiness in a very impractical way... generally, by my Love Life, which is non-existent. That not good. (Even Neanderthal Ned think so!) So do I continue to measure my happiness by this silly standard, which is fleeting, and may change at any given time, and may easily fly away, again, or measure my happines by my job, home and family? Hmmm. I think I know the answer a practical person would give, but, sadly enough, that not me! lol! I am driven by emotions. And Nice Houses. Big Houses. If I'm not going to be In Love, maybe I should at least be in a Big House?? haha! Haven't I tried that, already, and it turned out to be even lonelier in a Giant House than in a normal-sized Condo, still looking for Love? (Why is Love so damn elusive?? Hmmmm...Grrrr! haha! I'm not really angry, I just feel like sounding like a bear for a minute! hahaha!) Gaaawd, am I saying that a Giant House might not be the answer to my Quest for Happiness?? lol! (In answer to your Silent Question, oddly enough, no, I have not been drinking, but perhaps I should...!! haha!)

Apparently, it can take about 5 years to process a Green Card. Ugh. That's a long time. And according to the paperwork I found about a week ago, from my Immigration Lawyer, it'll cost about $6,000. for the applications. Five years and Six Grand. That's a lot. I technically have 2 years left on my current Work Visa, and then if I am lucky enough (and don't write toooo many stooopid things on my website! lol!), I can get renewed for another 3 years, so that gives me another five years here, to happily work and play. (Somewhat happily, and therein lies da problem, which is a direct quote from Shakespeare, I think). Oh, and alcohol is very, very cheap down here in the Lucky Land o' California, so there's that to consider, too... I think I have mentioned before that I have a Bar in my Condo, and initially I was going to rip it out, put in more cupboards (me loves da cupboards!), but now I looove my fancy throw-back to the 1970s Bar! It's jam packed full of stuff somebody else might like to drink... I, myself, am a very simple Vodka and CranCherry girl, unless I am even lazier than that, and simply go for the Already-Made-For-Me Strawberry Margaritas for $2.99 a case of Four (I KNOW, that's a GREAT Deal!!Who wouldn't buy reams and reams of them, and keep them in yet another cupboard, just in case someone realizes they have been selling them at such a crazy low rate that the price suddenly skyrockets... so you can see I am pre-planning for me future, now, too...! hahaha!) (Did I just digress for a minute? That's odd. I've never done that before, so sorry 'bout dat!!)

Have you already guessed my Big Hope?? haha! That's right! OBAMA!! Pweeease, oh, pweease, me and about 11 million other immigrants are all hoping that Brilliant President Obama will come up with an easier way (and hopefully less expensive and faster) to get a Green Card. Really, if the numbers are really correct, and there can possibly be 11 million people here (I am fully legal, of course, but I'm talking about the 11 million immigrants who are not currently legal, but who live and work here, none-the-less...). Wouldn't it be in everyone's Best Interest to find a relatively easy and fast way to allow all those people (and ME in 5 short years!) to live and work in America legally? Wow, that number of illegal immigrants is staggering to me. (And not just from the tequila, neither... little Cinco de Mayo humor for you, there...) It only stands to reason that something significant should change to correct that situation. That's a lot of Potential Tax Money, ain't it?? Even the fees, alone, for any kind of Basic Paperwork to get a Green Card, or some variation of that, would generate massive amounts of money. And employ a whole lot of people. It would take 4, maybe 5, Government Employees, to process all those poor immigrants! The line up would be long, though. Would be wise to bring a tent with you, or something...

Oh, crap! I just remembered it's May, already, and I haven't put up the new May Horoscopes! Dang it! I haven't been able to get into my buildyourownhouse@hotmail.com address, lately, for some reason... hmmm. If you've written to me, and haven't heard back from me, yet, that explains it, right there... not the myriad of other reasons you might have come up with in yo' twisted little thoughts... I can only assume you are a fair bit like me, and have many and varied 'myriad ideas' about pretty much everything, and let those ideas free as often as possible! haha!) I will have to solve that problem... also my Big Problem with trying to get new pictures on my site for you, since I am going to hazzard a guess that you are tired of seeing pictures o' me from a few years back! haha! I'm on Classmates (yes, a crazy Bathing Suit Shot, but only because I am happy to be wearing a bikini at 46! lol!), and I did try Facebook, although I don't have time to go into Facebook... perhaps in the summer...but then the bars are open late in the summer, right?? hahaha! Oh, I'm just being silly, now. Dang! Do you think there might be a connection between my warped sense of humor and the lack o' love in me life?? hahaha! Ah, well! Whatever! I have 5 years to figure it out, right?? And if I still haven't found anyone to love in 5 years, then I will just find another country, and, what the hell, build the big damn house!! haha! (Okay, me fixed it! Da May Horoscopes are up!)

Okay, baby-cakes! I gotsta bounce! (Man, that's my second quote from Shakespeare. I hope you don't think I'm all uppity, 'n stuff. I might as well be honest and tell you that didn't get a chance to read all of Shakespeare, so some of it might be a bit muddled with some graffitti I read earlier today, and I think it was really closer to "I gotsta bounce, Good Sir", but I not tryin' to be all fancy like that... You know I always love to see you in here! You look amazing, by the way!! Goigeous, in case no one has told you yet, today! I am really, really glad I had that one way camera installed into my computer... man, that thing really pays for itself! I hope you have tons and tons of love and happiness in yo' own life!! And if you need more, maybe we go lookin' for love, together!! Love & Luck, Ailsa! xox (If you are now thinking about going in to look at me pictures in Classmates or Facebook, look up Ailsa Forshaw, and I went to Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario, Canada, and Bayside Secondary School in, surprise, Bayside, Ontario, Canada...)

< > A Gift Card is Perfect for Mother's Day!! Let Your Mom Buy Anything She Wants! :)

Sunday, March 29th, 2009. Hey, Baby Love, how you doin'? I soo sorry it's been a while... but this time I really do have a good excuse! Yes, last week I had 'an altercation' with a large piece of lumber (actual lumber, for those whose minds have just fallen into the gutter! haha!), resulting in Head Trauma for me. Man, you try to be discreet about stealing some flowers, and the next thing you know, WHACK! BANG! Right on da head! Okay, so I wasn't really stealing any flowers, so much as I was taking them from one part of the garden where hardly anyone every noticed them, and was 'taking them on a short trip' to a better place, where they could truly be admired... sound better?? haha! So I was almost finished transplanting said beautiful purple flowers, when I stood straight up, and right into an 8 X 2 beam. Yooowch! Very, very painful, and I think a few expletives might have been uttered.. Anyway, I'm okay, now, for the most part (they said it would take a couple of weeks for me to recover fully).

So I was laying in me bed, trying to keep my brain still, and, in my own mind, losing weight like crazy, in that I really had no appetite, calling what might be a possible weight loss, My Head Trauma Diet. That's right. That's how much of a blow to the head I got! lol! Really, this would not be a highly recommended method of weight loss, given how intensely stupid it would be! haha! Ah, well. I have yet to regain my appetite, so I will make the best of the situation, and be happy that I only have a minimal interest in the occasional bowl of cereal, and hope that I am close to the 7 pounds I wanted to take off before my Annual Physical, anyway. I don't like to get a row (Scottish for 'getting in trouble'!) from my Doctor or Nurse Practitioner, so I will go in all slim and trim. Really, I oughtta make that appointment right away, before me appetite returns! haha!

What I want to know, though, is what idiot built a trellis, against a brick wall, with a completely unnecessary beam at about the 5 foot mark, a good foot and a half away from the wall?? (Do you see how I am clearly defending myself, here?) That's what I bashed my head on so badly... and it makes zero sense for a trellis to have been built like that. Hmmm. I guess I'll go have a look at it when I get back to school, to see what I can do to prevent any further injuries to anyone else.. my Mum suggested maybe hanging some plants from it, so the beam could be clearly seen. Sounds like a good idea...

Oh, and speaking of things my Mum has suggested, everyone knows that I love to buy a property (or, better yet, build a new home!), live in it for a while, then sell it, take the profit to plunk down on the next place, and do it all again as opportunities arise, right? And it's a great idea, the best possible way I know to make some serious money fairly quickly. But this is not very 'old school', if you will. It doesn't fit into the old pattern of moving somewhere and living there forever. That doesn't work for me... that works perfectly if you are married forever, have only one job forever.. you get the idea. My life isn't like that, and now I don't have a husband to work with to make more money, and move ahead that way, so it is even more important for me (and my children) to make sure I make as much as I can, while I can, right? (Pweeease be on my side! haha!) Anyway, I am forever being told to stay put, not make any more moves, but that's what I like to do, so I gots ta follow me own path, baby!

On the offchance that this is your first visit in here, my favorite way to make money is to buy a property at a really, really good price, renovate the entire place so it looks gorgeous, then put it back on the market when I know for sure that it has increased in value at least $100 Grand (so the tax hit isn't too much of an issue... 20% of the profit if you sell in under two years, in America), buy another place in rough shape, but with great 'bones' (somewhere that I know I can make amazing), do it all again. I live pretty close to the beach in Los Angeles, so prices are pretty stable in my area, and I like to stay in the same wee bit, so my son never changes his school, and there is minimun change for the kids. See? That doesn't sound so bad, does it? I loove renovating, so it's not like real work for me -- it's more fun than anything, provided the money is there to pay for what is needed (and what I want, more importantly! haha!) , since that's really where the stress comes in when you're doing a renovation... that and waiting for contractors to show up! lol! Today must be a 'Defending Your Life', day! Ah, well. As long as we're all happy, and I'm putting big chunks of money down on my mortgage each time we do a move, then it's all good, right?

So here's what have to figure out, today. There are two little birds that have decided to take up residence on my balcony, and as nice as they are, that really freaks me out. They want to live, it seems, in my giant hanging basket of Bouganvillea, which I love, so the basket o' flowers has to stay, but the birds need to find another place to sit... so, yesterday, I put a little Ralph's grocery store plastic bag in the base of the hanging basket, in the hopes that they would land on it, say, "What the...??", and fly off, never to return, again. But guess where they are, right now? Happily sitting on da bag! Hmfff. I'm gonna have to figure this one out... I love to read out on the balcony, which is full of flowers, of course, so possibly very tempting for the birds, but I've seen that movie, and that canny happen when I am gleefully reading my favorite Wally Lamb book, now, can it?? lol!

Okay, I gots ta roll, Baby! Me and da birds have got a few rounds ta go! haha! Hope you're havin' a great time, today and every day! Much Love, Ailsa xox

Monday, President's Day, Feb. 16th, 2009. Soo, how did your Valentine's Day go? Was it all you expected, or did you start out with lowered expectations, just to let it come in better than you hoped?? haha! A little trick to maintain your sanity, sometimes... go in expecting very little, then anything above that seems great! I am not a Big Fan o' da Valentine's Day... I don't like anything that pushes someone to declare more than they (or you) want to declare, for the sake of an Industry making a ton of money at the expense of many, many relationships. I remember years (unfortunately) of me standing in front of the Valentine's Day Card rack at Walmart (the biggest store we had in our small town), desperately looking for a card that just said, "Well, looks like we're still married... Happy Valentine's Day!", but it was never there! haha! I know, that's terrible! But it's such a weird day. You don't always want to tell someone a bunch of really mushy stuff, and if you're fighting, or something (what, there's fighting in a marriage?? Say it ain't so! haha!) , you really don't always feel like setting everything aside because the Greeting Card Industry wants to make sure you buy a lot of nice stuff...hmmm.

Aaand, we all know this can be a 'Make or Break' Holiday... if you DO want something from a Valentine, and they are not giving it to you, or you get something waaay less than you thought you'd get, there's trouble in the land. Often, Big Trouble. Many's a relationship breaks apart because of what happens on the lovely Valentine's Day. It's a shame, really, because it is just one day, and it only carries all that importance because of outside influences, but whatever the reason, if people, mostly men, don't step up on that day, they are very soon to be stepping down, if you gets me drift! And a man can't claim that he 'didn't know' Valentine's Day is important... that's the sign of a true idiot, so best to let that one go, anyway. Maybe it's the Love Industry's way of helping women weed the bad ones out! haha! Maybe better to call it, "Weed Day", but that sounds like something else, perhaps the kind of day that Michael Phelps might really enjoy! lol! I feel for Michael Phelps, because the guy wins 9 Gold Medals, turns out he's a Young Guy, and sudden;y everything is bad. That seems a little harsh to me. And I heard on one Media Outlet that 'he was stupid enough to let someone take his picture...'. Man, maybe cut the kid a little slack, since he already did so much for his country, and he is a very fine specimen of a Human Being... poor kid!

I am having the worst time trying to decide whether to buy that other Condo in my Complex. I have spoken to the realtor a number of times, and man, those conversations are a struggle.. you know how I feel about most realtors. I actually have a great friend of mine, who is a realtor, so if you are in the Los Angeles Area, I'll give you her info... but this other one is definitely one I want to keep my conversations to a minimum with, since I'm pretty sure she doesn't know what I'm saying, let alone thinking, no matter how direct I am. The problem is that I am reluctant to give up this Condo that I just bought this past summer, because after I did the Renovations, it's gorgeous in here, and I really love the tree-top view from my bedroom windows and balcony... that would be hard to give up. The good thing about the other Condo is that it's right down by the pool... wonder what's really holding me back? I'll call that "Real Estate Therapy"! haha! That might be an interesting study, finding out what really makes people buy and sell property, outside of the Financial Reasons...

Have you already been out to catch some of the President's Day Sales? I have been thinking about it all day, but it's cold and rainy outside,so I have also been thinking about maybe having another nap! haha! So far, the 'other nap' idea is winning out! We've turned into a bunch of wussies down here in California... whenever it's the least bit yucky outside (and the definition of 'yucky' being, 'below 72 Degrees and Sunny'! lol!), we don't want to go out. How sad is that? What happened to my Scottish and Canadian Roots? Are they gone, already?? I've only been here two and a half years! Wonder if that's how long it takes to completely acclimate to a new place? I think it's because in Scotland or Canada, you better get your behind out the door when it's terrible weather, because one, it may get even worse, and two, it's gonna stay that way for months on end, so might as well move along with your life, whereas here, it's a pretty good shot that tomorrow it'll be beautiful again, so why not wait a day? hahaha! Yes, that's right, we've definitely turned into wussies!

I'm trying something new on my site, today. You know how I like to play around with different things on my site, see what works. It's funny, I will sometimes try something new, and wait for the other shoe to drp, so-to-speak, depending on how crazy the New Thing is! Ah, well. I do the same thing in the rest of my life--- I'm constantly trying new things out, see how it works, does it fit, is it crazy, then make decisions based on those things ... So far, so good!

Okay, well, the rain has stopped, so maybe we will venture out, see if we can score some good President's Day Sales! I am still crazy about all the amazing sales that they have in America... maybe you'll find something great,too, and that will make you feel sooo much better about Valentine's Day, and whatever went down or didn't go down, you can let the day pass by like any other day, and everything will be okay. Perhaps I am giving some advice to myself, here! hahaha! I gots ta bounce, Baby! Happy Valentine's Day from ME to YOU!! I hope you have the bestest and mostest love in your life, this year, and that it lasts forever!! Love & Happiness, Ailsa xox

December 31st, 2008, Baby!! Man, can you believe another year has rolled by, already?? Where does the time go? (South for the Winter, like me?? lol!) No, I live South, now, year-round. And I think I'm gonna stay here for a while, yet. It was a little iffy there for a while (earlier today! haha!), but then I thought I should go get a pair of those cute little white and pink Roller Skates -- the kind from the 70's, with double wheels in the front and in the back... I feel like I could actually stand up in them, and then maybe even move a few steps! But, alas, I am delusional about many of the things I assume I can do. Earlier in December, I thought I would just jump on a skateboard, and sail away. Oh, it would be so easy, and fun! I never did let go of the shoulder I was leaning on for support! haha! Hope I can move my feet in my new roller skates, should I be able to find them. My job tomorrow is to go along the Coastline, looking for these cute little skates. (I'm on vacation, so I'm creating little 'Make-Work Projects' for myself... sad, but true!)

When I was a kid (in the 60's and 70's, and, I suppose, still a kid going into 2009... (!), we used to go out skating on the creek beside our house, and over on this 'lake', which, when I think of it, now, must have been more of a bog or a jut in the river... anyway, we spent an inordinate amount of time at the local skating rink in Frankford, Ontario, Canada, a great place to grow up. 1200 people, tops. I used to loove the Figure Skating Outfits, with the tiny little skirts. That's probably what lead to my obsession with mini-skirts, which I live in, unless some one makes me change! haha! So my theory is that if I could figure skate, and loved speed skating, why couldn't I just strap on a pair of really pretty white and pink roller skates and sail down the California Coastline? lol! So I'm writing, tonight, on the very offchance possibility that I am sadly mistaken on my abilities, and end up with a problem that prevents me from typing. I hope to God that is not the case, but I'm trying to be a realist, here... but first I have to find the damn things, and then I will try my luck!

So, this is my very first time in 21 years that I have been completely without children. So sad! My daughter Cara is away for the holidays, and my little man, Aidan, is with his Dad, so I'm all on my own. I had no idea that I spent so much time with the kids, because this is bizarre to have soo much free time. And you'd think I would put that to good use, but, no. All I have come up with is the whole 'skate 'til you drop' thing. I haven't even been out drinking, for Goodness Sake! What a terrible waste of time with no need of a babysitter! Now here's the very annoying part... because of some extremely poor life-choices I have made over the last, oh, 20 odd years, I find myself alone at New Years Eve. Dammit. It's my own fault for choosing to go to the gym instead of going to therapy! hahaha! (Okay, that little joke is for my own personal amusement!). Really, I should totally have gone to Therapy to find out why on earth I would choose someone who doesn't readily choose me. That's awful, isn't it? Unrequited Love. It's very annoying. I do not recommend it. It's time-consuming, and for the most part, very impractical. But I really like going to the gym, and now with my Big Plan to Roller Skate along the Coast, that's not gonna leave me any extra time for self-reflection. Maybe I'll meet a 'stand-up guy' who can help me balance myself on my skates... and perhaps even in my life?? haha! If I ever become a good enough skater that I can look up from the sidewalk (I'll be on the look-out for cracks, and whatnot!), perhaps I will meet someone new... wish me luck on that one!

You know what's really funny? When I first moved down here to Los Angeles, I was pretty sure that the Scottish Comedian and 'Famous Talk Show Host', Craig Ferguson, would meet me (a Scottish Girl living in L.A., just like his psychic, Mrs. McGougan -- my Grandmother's name -- told him would happen), and we would definitely be married by now... if my other Love Interest didn't work out. So you can see my level of delusion runs to grandeur, as well! hahaha! Ah, well. The "best laid plans", as they say ... so now I have to live like I just got here, and I am all alone, not having met anyone, yet. Think that will work? Worth a try, I say, and easier than finding the number to call for Therapy!

You know what I think looks like fun? Speed Dating. Or a nightmare. Did I just say 'fun'?? lol! Really, it turns out that I have no clue how to meet new men. I know, I know. I have a whole page on How to Marry Rich (don't worry, it's a jokey article!)... and I'm good at the whole marriage thing, I'm just not that good at the 'meeting' part, unless it pretty much happens by accident, which is how I've met every one of my past loves. Now don't be a Giant Judge... it's not a ludicrous number of past loves! Fifty, tops. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Maybe 100. Nooo. That's silly. Now I feel compelled to count them on my fingers (and toes! hahaha!). Let's see, two marriages, and 6 or 7 loves along the way. I guess that's lucky, right? Hmmm, this has turned out to be a much more personal 'Update' than usual. Hardly a thing about Building!

Okay, now I feel guilty about not telling you about my fantastic new Reno (renovation)... every time I say the word "reno" down here in L.A., people look at me like I've made up a new language, known and understood only by me. But that's a normal word, right? Why say renovation when you can just quickly say reno? You know how I bought this lovely Condo that I'm in, right now, this past July? Well, truth be told, I am thinking about selling it. Because it's gorgeous, and I think I could make a good profit on it... I would never bother selling anything unless I cleared at least $50,000 on the sale. What a hassle that would be. But there's a Townhouse Unit that I've had my eye on for a little while. It looks like total hell, and my daughter, Cara, forbid me from buying it (uh-oh... who doesn't like to be forbidden?? haha!), but it has really good 'bones' (very good structurally), and I know I could do a great job reno'ing it, if I go ahead with my half-plan. (I'm not sure yet) That's the thing -- you have to be really sure of what you're doing before you buy any property. If you don't like it, don't buy it. Unless you are going to sweep in and make it gorgeous, but I always use the rule of thumb (although I hate that horrible old phrase, "rule of thumb"... the amount of something a man could use to hit his wife... disgusting, isn't it? I wonder how many people know it's terrible original meaning?) that if you would walk into your own property and buy it, then you've got a winner, and if you would walk in and say, "Nah", forget it. Always think ahead to your next Buyer.

Same thing when you are doing the renovation, or build, if you are thinking of building a Spec House. Renovate or build it with the next person in mind, not just yourself. Of course, you're going to make it so you love it, but if you happen to be a huuuge fan o' da Pink Walls, plan to paint them before you put your place on the Market. Ixne on the inkpe. (A little Pig Latin, just for fun!) It depends on how long you're gonna live in any particular place, too. One, don't forget about the tax hit you'll take if you sell before you've been there for 2 years, on average (I always look at it this way: if I want to sell before 2 years have passed, then as long as I'm making at least $75,000 or more on the 'transaction', then it's just like being paid for working and getting paid $75 Grand... you wouldn't expect not to pay taxes on money you've earned from a job, so why not just perceive it that way, and move along? See how easliy I can justify my moves?? haha!). And then, secondly, if you are planning to stay somewhere for a long time, go ahead and do whatever you like, and just plan to change it when you are ready to sell. Or, throw caution to the wind and put it on the market, As-Is, just for fun. Maybe somebody else out there looves Sky Blue Toilets and open-concept bathrooms. Who knows??

Okay, well, it's ridiculously late, yet again... 3:00 am, if you must know everything (haha!). I think I write better in the middle of the night, for some unknown reason. Maybe because I'm potentially skating and meeting new people during the day! (Fingers crossed on both of those points!) I hope you have a Fantastic New Year, full of sooo much fun, family, fortune, possibly fame... I really do hope you have a great year! And I want you to know how much I appreciate you for coming in to read my little stories. I love hearing from you, so now that I'm on Facebook, maybe we can all get to know one another even better... won't that be fun? See ya' in '09, Baby! Much Love, Ailsa xox

That's me, Ailsa, with Aidan leaping in front of me and my little dog, Tia, looking on, as always -- I was looking for the other pictures, but I can't find them, so this'll have to do for now -- and, yes, those are my Thigh High Boots, and they are surprisingly comfortable, but not all that great for Vacuuming and doing the dishes -- yuff, yuff! They're fabulous if you haven't bothered to shave yer legs in a while, or if you're heading out to the Club! Or not...

October 15th, 2008. I'm back, Baby, and with a vengeance! Yahoo, my site is fianlly back online, and just in time for the US Presidential Debate!! Why am I soo extra excited about that? Because I can't wait to talk about Joe the Plumber!! Hello, Joe, if you're out there! Say, are you married?? Nothing I love more than a plumber, and not just because I have a bizarre pipe on the outside of the shower in my new bathroom (more on the new place I just bought and have been renvating like crazy in a few minutes... right now, me really wants to talk about Joe the Plumber!).

Okay, so everyone knows I used to be married to a plumber, so, of course, I know very, very well how much they make, and we knew all sort of other plumbers, because they all lived in our gorgeous Acreage Community, because they were all loaded! hahaha! That's right, McCain's shining example of a 'Middle Class, average Joe', was a plumber, perhaps because he has a negative idea of how much a plumber makes, and an assumption that someone in the Trades might make waaay less than, say, a lawyer or a doctor. Now, by no means am I saying that doctors and lawyers don't do well, because often they do, but so do the plumbers and all the other Trades People. I do not like that old stereotype that poor old Joe the Plumber is some poor sod, barely eeking out a living. No, indeed.

Now, I'm not tryin' to make you all jealous, but I happen to own my very own calculator, so I quickly did a little simple math to see how much Joe the Plumber makes if he works 10 to 12 hours a day, 7 days a week... okay, let's say he makes $69./hour, which is much lower than most plumbers make, especially if they own their own business. So lets just go with 12 hours a day, so that's 84 hours a week, times 52 weeks a year, so 4368 hours, at $69./hour. What?? Is my calculator right at $301,392. a year? haha! You go, Joe!! I loves me a man in the Trades!! And I love all the Women in the Trades, too, but in a different kind of way! lol!

You know what's even funnier about the Joe the Plumber situation? Guess who built his own house, and bought all the land around his house, then built all the houses on his newly purchased land? That's right, Baby, Joe the Plumber! People in the Trades build their own houses, because they already have all the contacts with all the other Trades People to get the job done quickly and often under budget, primarily because they can do a lot of their own work. And then we sell to the other Professionals, and that's what makes our little economy go 'round... so I hope that's enough incentive for more people to swing by their local colleges to see what kind of training programs they might have in a Trade that appeals to anyone who is interested. You know what I would really love to see, as a Builder and as a Teacher? I would love to see every single kid coming out of high school, encouraged to develop at least one skill where they can always find a job, and be able to find a job that will pay them well enough to provide for themselves and their family. Now wouldn't that be nice?? Go ahead and get as many Advanced Degrees as you like, but one decent skill that makes you employable at any given minute of your life is essential for flexibility in your life.

And since we're on Education, now, I loved the whole bit in the debate about 'No Child Left Behind', Bush's Big Idea to fix education in America. You know what teachers secretly call 'No Child Left Behind'? "Every Teacher Left Behind". It's true. It's a plan with a lovely name, that makes anyone who sees all the flaws with it look like someone who doesn't support 'every child', but that's crazy, because that's really the only thing teachers do, day in and day out, is support every child. We love kids, and we want them to learn and be the very best person they can possibly be. But wouldn't it be fantastic to have a system that supports the professionals who keep the whole thing moving? I've gotta say, the Voucher System scares me, because it takes money directly out of Public Schools, and that's not good. Dang, I soo wish I were an American Citizen so I could vote for Obama!!

The thing they never say out loud in all these chats about anything that removes students from the Public School System, takes money out of that system and gives it to a Private System, is that Public Schools accept ALL children. Yep. Every last one. Private Schools only take the 'Cream of the Crop', IF their parents allow it. I'm not a fan of Elitism, and that's what Private Schools smack of... and for that to ever be Publicy Funded is a big problem for me. I wish they would give the money to Public Schools, and make them incredible, and open to all children, not just a chosen few. It's easy to have fantastic High Scores on all your tests if every kid in the school is Gifted. All that talk about Special Needs Students (you all know I teach Special Needs Students, and have for 25 years - they are the love of my life, along with my own little family!), but the reality of many Charter and Private Schools is that our Special Needs kids are not included in their schools, or play a much smaller role than in our Public Schools. (Okay, I'm getting off my Soap Box -- it's not that comfortable to stand on, anyway!)

Hey, you know what I would really like to know? (Joe the Plumber's phone number, and if he's married! hahahaha!) No, fer real... I would love to know if you can retrofit an existing building to start using Geothermal Energy. I'll need to ask Dwight, my ex-husband (remember Dwight? He's doing really well, and we just went up to Canada for a wee visit, and did a 'dog-boy' exchange for the weekend... we all stayed in the same beautiful hotel in Vancouver, and our son, Aidan, stayed with Dwight, and Dwightie brought out our sweet little dog, Tia, and she stayed with my daughter, Cara, and I in our hotel room. What a great weekend! It's a very, very Good Thing when you can have a really good relationship with your Ex, right?). Anyway, Dwight knows a lot about Geothermal Energy, and if we had built another house, together, we would definitely have gone with Geothermal Energy. One day I would loove to build a house that is entirely Off the Grid (and if you're not completely sure what 'Off the Grid' is, it's when you can fully supply all the energy you need for your own home).

Wouldn't that be amazing, though, if that were feasible? Here's a quickie example... I just bought a beautiful new Condo (new to me, it was built in 1970), and my Complex already has Solar Panels on our roofs, which I think is very progressive. In fact, I would really like to see one set of the Solar Panels connected to one of the pools at my complex (ironically, I would like the Solar Panels connected to MY favorite pool in the complex [there are 3 -- yippee!], the one surrounded with a zillion plants and trees... like a little oasis in the city!). But aside from my own vested interest in having a lovely warm pool all year long, I think it's fantastic that we could use our Solar Energy to heat it. What if all the pools in North America were heated with Solar Energy? And if there were some way to drill into the earth to access the Goethermal energy to convert into energy to power different aspects of my Condo Complex without disturbing the area too much, wouldn't that be a great use of sustainable energy? The problem would be the sheer initial costs involved, but wouldn't the cost be off-set by the overall savings into the future? Hmm... I'm jam-packed full of questions like that... and quite a few much seedier questions, too, but if you've read any of my other stuff, you already knows that!! LOL!

I can't tell you haw excited (and relieved) I am to have my Site back up... man, that was scary. I was down for over a month, but in my 'downtime', I totally renovated my whole new place! WooHoo! It's gorgeous... vaulted throughout, which is very unusual in a 'City Condo'. Man, I loves me a Vaulted Ceiling! I think they make the whole place feel so much more spacious...if you happen to be in the throes of a Build, right now, and you were thinking of having the traditional flat ceilings,have a look up at the potential in your ceiling to Vault it. You're just going to insulate the roof beams and drywall over that (oh, I have a good link for this... pop into my 'Insulation & Drywall Page', and you'll see some pretty cool pictures of this process). Anyway, the cost is minimal, given how lovely and open your new house will be. I've never looked at the cost of raising the ceilings to create a new Vault in a Renovation, but if you don't have any structural changes outside of raising the ceiling, it shouldn't cost all that much, in the scheme of things... but you know I operate in 'Construction Dollars', so always have more on hand than you think it's gonna cost, to make sure you're still living within your means and don't lose your mind when you get the bill!

Okay, well, it's great to see you, again! Did I mention how great you look? Have you lost another 10 pounds?? Not me! haha! Although I did promise my Nurse-Practictioner that I would lose 10 pounds so I can stay on The Pill, since I'm pretty sure that if I don't keep taking 'The Pill', I'll trade the 10 pounds I'm supposed to lose for a 10 pound baby, and that seems like bad idea for me (since God Knows I think I could get pregnant if a nice looking virile man walked past me...which reminds me of one of my favorite jokes, this year, the "Frank, I dropped the baby" Stork joke, where Frank and his Stork Buddy are 'delivering' babies...), except that the reality is that I am very, very fond of babies, so I am trying to remember that I live in America, now, and as much as I would love to have another baby, I really shouldn't, what with having to work for a living, now, an' all! So my job in the next 2 months is to lose that damn 10 pounds, and make my Nurse-Practitioner happy!Hello, Apple Crumble Diet! Good-bye deeelilicous chocolate.

I am still wearing a bikini, which is a Good Sign, so hopefully by the end of these next couple of months, I'll be sleeker than ever... and I still don't have a drop of cellulite, which is great at 45! Stooopid cellulite! (If you hate it, too, get rid of cellulite with my favorite exercise... but I promise I will try to remember how to put new pictures on my site so you don't have to look at the old pictures of me... I need pictures of the real amount of weight I lift to target that annoying leg cellulite, then we'll all have fantastic legs, right??) (Ooookay, I'm lying about getting rid of my favorite chocolate -- you caught me in my tiny little lie... but I will start eating my Apple Crumble, again, and I am trying something 'new to me'.. I'm having a 'Cereal Diet', sort of. All my 'diets' are 'sort of', in that I like to eat whatever I want (who doesn't?? haha!). But I have a theory that having cereal, especially anything with bran or oatmeal, is a Good Idea, so I will have cereal (I like Raisin Bran, these days) or soup for dinner, the Apple Crumble for my morning snack, and pretty much whatever is available at lunchtime. So far, so good. I'll let you know how it goes. And I'll step it up a bit at the gym, too, and continue swimming every day. I like to swim laps, then jog in the pool for about half an hour... I think I lost an inch off my waist, just with the 'Pool Jogging'.. pleasant and easy. And then I spend an inordinant amount of time in the hot tub, come home and have a drink! hahaha! Now does my 'diet' sound like fun?? Yep! I'm not about to be unhappy at any point in the day just to lose weight -- that's the problem with all those other diets, they forget that people just want to be happy, and lose weight! If I weigh another 500 pounds by the end of next week, I'll let you know that my theory needs a slight adjustment! LOL!

All right, I really am going, now! See what happens when we haven't talked in all this time? There's just so much to say! I will do my bestest to get back in here more often... and I have a new Business that I am starting, so I'll tell you about that, too, when I get that launched... all very exciting!! Thanks for popping in for a wee visit! You know I love to see you! C'ya, Baby!! , Ailsa xox

Monday, June 9th, 2008. Dang, it's almost Father's Day! How does the third Sunday in June creep up so quickly every single year?? It just occurred to me that I might actually already have a 'Father's Day' link page for easy online shopping... the underlined part is, for anyone who has just purchased their very first computer, and this is your very first site to visit, a good place to start your Father's Day Shopping, by magically transporting you to a whole page of ideas for your Dads! I think I'm going to get my Dad (the most wonderful man on the earth!) another Adirondack Chair. That's a very 'Dad' sort of thing to get, right??

Well, as per usual, I am very, very sorry about a great many things I have apparently done(I can't be expected to remember all of the bad things I've done, now can I? No. A resounding 'No!". Or a little 'no'... whatever.. the point is, I can't remember a thing!). But I do remember saying something in here about not taking nearly so long to write, again, and yet here I am, another really, really long time in returning. I'm telling you, if you would just agree to meet me at the bar by the ocean, we could catch up a whole lot faster, and much more often, only I won't be quite so coherent (in case you think this is coherent! hahaha! I'm just amusing myself, now!).

It has been a very difficult month, with a big break-up I didn't see coming (so, lots of heartache, there), then last week my ex-husband, Dwight (we're still good friends, which is very good with an Ex), called me to tell me he had to put our sweet little dog, Tia, down (Tia is all over my site, because I love her so, sooo much!). Well, I was devastated. Through my tears, I said to Dwight, "I'll come back right now. I'll get a flight from L.A., and I'll be back in Canada this afternoon." Dwight says to me, "You can't. You don't have your Passport.".. Ugh, it's true. You have to submit your old Canadian passport in order to get your new one. I was just beside myself with grief, and the children were devastated, too.

Tia is only 10 years old, but she still acts like a puppy. She's a little Cockapoo (Cocker Spaniel - Poodle mix... but she looks more Spaniel than Poodle...she's the most beautiful wee dog, ever!). I talked to Dwight about taking her out to our old Country Vet (who doesn't love a Country Vet??), and we both thought it would be better for Tia if the person who had to put her down was someone she already knew. Well, here's where the story takes a wonderful twist. The reason Tia was going to have to be put down was that she had become paralyzed from midway down her back, so the bottom half of her little body was just dragging along. Poor wee girl. The first, very young, vet had advised Dwight to have her put down immediately. Dwightie couldn't do it, so he came home to talk to me. Thank God.

When Dwight went in to see our old Country Vet, Dr. Shacklady, the vet asked him if Tia liked to run and jump all the time, so Dwight says, "Yes, that's all she does". It's true. That girl loooves to run and jump! Well, it turned out that she had been running down the stairs at Dwight's house, had leapt off the stairs and slid across the tiled floor, and had hurt her leg. Dwight said she had been wincing, and was clearly favouring her other legs. That was on Saturday afternoon. By 2:00am, Tia was sitting up in bed, looking at Dwight for help. She could move her front paws, but that's it. Aaaawwwww. Poor girl! So, anyway, Dr. Shacklady has been around the block a few times, so he says to Dwight that he has a treatment that might work. A 50/50 shot, at least! They went ahead with the treatment, some shots in her back, followed by 10 days of steroids. Well, Glory be to God and Dr. Shacklady, because the next day, the very next day, our sweet little Tia was standing up when Dwight opened the door to see her! He must have stepped out for something, because you know how excited your dog gets whenever you leave the house (or go into the bathroom!), and then magically re-appear?? Maybe that was enough for her to manage to get up on her legs!

So now it has been a week, and Tia is walking, although Dwight says she walks like she's had just a little too much to drink (did she learn that from me?? haha!), so pretty cute! And Alive!! Yippppee!! So you can see I've been too busy praying to do much writing! What an emotional roller-coaster it has been, this past month. I am desperate to go back and see Tia, as soon as I can. I loove the road trip from Los Angeles to Calgary, Alberta (straight up Highway 15 through Las Vegas, then Salt Lake City, an overnight in Butte, Montana, where they have the giant statue of Mary, that I love so much - apparently, people make a pilgrimage to this statue of Mary... I know I feel very strongly that when you pray to Mary, especially at this statue, you feel a tremendous sense of connectedness... and you feel that your prays will be answered, in one way or another...). We'll see how our time goes, and when our new Canadian Passports arrive. I am getting better at leaving things in God's Hands, since every time I seem to think I know what's coming up, I'm thrown for a loop. Some giant loops, lately.

Oh, and on a somewhat lighter note, I don't have any problem whatsoever with putting astrology together with my religion. I do not consider them 'one or the other' or exclusionary of one another. Not at all. I think, if you can find some greater understanding of yourself or thers through any source, go ahead and read about it. Learn it. Take what you need and move on... I feel that way about a lot of things. So here is some seriously good advice from Rose Marcus' June Horoscopes... pop in to read your own June Horoscope.

"Don’t force what isn’t coming naturally and put yourself under extra pressure". Yes, that's true. If you are fighting and fighting to force something to work, maybe it's not meant to be. What if you let go for a little bit, and see what happens? Lessen the reigns, so-to-speak. My Mother has a Scottish Phrase that I live by, and Thank God for it, because it really helps me in times of crises, or when things don't happen the way you thought they were going to... "Wha's for ye 'll no go by ye." Translation: "What's for you will not go by you." If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If not, maybe there's something much bigger and much better that you didn't even think of, and if the first thing you had wanted so badly had worked out, maybe the truly big thing wouldn't have arrived... you see where I'm going with this... chin up, chest out, shoulders back, walk straight... into your fabulous new life!

Oh, and that reminds me of the new Sex and the City movie... my lovely daughter, Cara, and I went to see Sex and the City on it's opening night. We wore silver and purple, with very, very fancy shoes! Lots of fun, and what a great movie! And I think men will secretly enjoy this movie. I don't foresee a group of guys heading out to see Sex and the City together after watching the Game (Go, Lakers!!!), but when it comes out on DVD, oh, yeah. The men will watch it. haha!

Uh, I've got way more to tell you, like this program I'm looking into, called www.naca.com , that helps people to get into their own home. When I find out more about it, I'll share the info with you, for sure! Right now, I'd better get to bed. Okay, I'll be adding to my favourite little lolcats page on my site... I really do love that site -- really funny. Wonder where I saved the 'Tiger Soup' joke?? Now I'm on a half-mission to find it! See ya', Baby!! Thanks for swinging by! Ailsa

< > Ailsa's Favorite Books - Ailsa's Amazon.com page - I always get the Amazon.com Gift Certificates, especially for Family & Friends who live further away. The Amazon Gift Certificates are delivered in days or immediately by email, and they're incredibly easy for anyone to use. Perfect Gift Idea!

Sunday, April 27th, 2008. Man, I just realized that I am fairly consistent in my lack of writing for my Update Page! Once a month, whether I think about it or not. That not good, say Thor, who has been nominated as Neanderthal of the Year for the 500th year in a row. One year he gonna win, and dat be a Good Year. You know what the lucky thing is? I am the Boss of this Site, and I am very, very lenient with myself, rarely giving myself a scolding, and on those odd occasions that I might gently reprimand myself, it's typically over some sort of delicious alcoholic beverage, so I can't remember exactly what I might have said the night before, anyway, so it's all good. Except for you, my enchantingly lovely Reader, who might be delusional enough to check in every day to see if I've written anything, lately... remember the days when I actually had the time to do that? Were they the Good Old Days?? haha! Oh, and don't in any way be offended by my casual use of the word delusional in reference to you... I am the Queen of Delusion, and I welcome all into my Kingdom. Queendom. Whatever... we meet at the cheapest bars, ever, so come join us, and we'll all be delusional together! The more the merrier, or the more the crowdier... these phrases are very tricky to remember...

I am truly sorry for not writng more often, though. You would be shocked at how lazy, I mean, busy, I am... I really am swamped with a massive amount of work for this District Intern Program I have been placed in, on account a' being foreign, and seemingly desperate enough to want to stay in California to go through with said DI Program. It's designed for Teachers to get their Special Education Credential, so they can teach Special Education in California... but I'm pretty sure I could teach Special Ed. almost anywhere else on the planet, what with already being a Specialist in Special Eduaction, but I see I am now complaining, and I am a little bitter... hard not to be. Many weeks, I have to go to class three nights a week and every Saturday for 8 full hours. Really, that's outrageous. I can see it if a teacher had absolutely no training whatsoever, but there should be allowances when teachers move into new-to-them States. I'm really not sure why the Teaching Profession treats it's people so very badly... why is that? We work hard, love the kids, pour our hearts into our jobs, and are often treated as if we are insignificant and incapable of doing our jobs unless we take course after course after course. You know I have said, before, that no one in Construction would put up with half the crap that is handed to teachers, and if they did, they would expect and demand reasonable payment for their time and efforts. Hmmm. Wonder if I will get into trouble for speaking the truth??

Can you believe it's almost Mother's Day? You know what your Mom would really love, other than many, many gifts of such things as chocolates, flowers, lovely greeting cards, books, (the list is endless!)(Oh, wait... that's MY list! hahaha!) and a great big hug? If you still live at home, clean your room. And the kitchen, too! Can we go so far as to include the Bathrooms?? haha! (I'm kidding... I know we can't take it that far!) And if you live far away, maybe you could arrange to have someone else come in and clean... who knows. The hilarious thing about the vast majority of women I know who have a person come in to clean the house is that they go mad trying to clean the place up before the Maid Service gets there, which is pretty funny! Still, it's something to think about, but if you can do it yourself, all the better... (ooh, I can only hope my own children are reading this! hahaha!)

Are you loving the pictures from icanhascheezburger? Gaaawd, I love that site! I am officially obsessed with it, now. And I love the sister site, icanhashotdog?, because I loves me some dogs! The funny thing about the lolcats site is that I never really was a fan o' da kitteh before, but now with the pictures and those captions, I have a whole new appreciation for da kittehs! I did have a roommate, years ago, who had a picture of three kittens frolicking, and frankly, I thought that picture was hilarious, too, but for all the wrong reasons... maybe if there had been a caption on the painting, I would have seen the glory much earlier! hahaha! Anyway, if you are ever feeling a bit down about anything at all (that was me pretty much all of last week!), or you just want a quick break from your day, pop in there to have a good laugh. I'm using the lolcats and loldogs as part of my reading program with a couple of my older Special Education students, because they get the humor, and any reading is good reading, right?? Anything that makes them want to get on the computer and have a laugh works for me!

Now here's a wonderful wee book I got from a lovely friend of mine, Jeannie, and I just love it. I'm thinking it would make a really nice little Mother's Day present for your Mom (or buy a copy for yourself, as I always do!). It'll give you a whole new outlook on those 'little coincidences' that we all have in our lives, and make you go back and connect the dots of your life.

Okay, it's insanely late, as always, so I gots ta bounce, Baby! I'll see you next time, and I'll try to make it a whole lot sooner! (Can't you just meet me at the bar, down by the beach, so I can just talk to you in person?? hahaha!) Hope you have a fantastic day, followed by a much better night, then another great day... I think you see where that's going... 'til we meet again, Ailsa xox (too soon?? haha!)

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008. Happy Easter! Uh, oh! Does that mean I can only remember to write on major holidays?? That not good, as my favorite Neanderthal friend, Thag, would say. What do I do with my time between holidays, me wonders?? While it away, like everybody else thinks, or am I actually constructive, so-to-speak (on account a' I'm a construction girl... oh, you get it... no need to hammer that one home, right? hahaha!) Okay, so I have been pretty busy, what with turning 45, and the intense amount of extreme 'partying' required for that sort of thing... did you see how I trickily used some youthful vernacular in there, in a veiled attempt at seeming younger?? haha! No, I don't have any problem with my age, at all, since I think I have the body of a 25 year old. A somewhat pudgy 25 year old, but never-the-less... no. I kid because I love that phrase, "A body like a 25 year old', then you look at many a 25 year old, and they look like every one else, and I don't want to have the body that I had when I was 25, 'cause that's the year I had Cara, and God Knows I don't want to be pregnant, again... well, I'm pretty sure! I never want to say anything permanent, any more, since I'm old enough, now, to know better, right?? haha! You never know what's in store for you, and it seems like every time I think I know what's coming up, I'm totally thrown off by the truth, so now I'm livin' in the moment, seeing what comes next!

So, did you have a nice Easter, if you celebrated Easter today? We actually went to two Churches, in my Big Effort to get to sing, "Christ the Lord Is Risen Today"... I can't even remember if that's the name of my favorite Easter Hymn, but I sang it all week in preparation for singing it, today, and there I was at two, count 'em, two, Easter Services, and not one Traditional Hymn to be had. Dammit! (Is that okay to say right in the middle of my Easter speil?? And is that how you spell 'speil'?? haha!) Why do Churches do that? In an effort to be 'More Modern'? To make sure only the really, really good singers get to sing? (Choir Only! haha!) Don't get me wrong, the Choirs we heard, today, were excellent, and it was lovely to hear them sing, but I wanted to participate in exactly the same way I've participated in Easter Services every single year of my life (45 years, although I am very aware that I sound closer to 90 in this particular rant! hahaha!), and I felt like the Services were more of a Show than anything interactive. (Like singing, oh, let's say one of my other favorite hymns, "Morning Has Broken". Now who doesn't love singing that song, and everybody should get to sing, not just the perfect peoples..! hahaha!)

I noticed this movement in Churches about 20 years ago, when all of a sudden, Churches had a burning desire, so-to-speak, to appeal to the Youth, I guess. I'm not sure who was their exact target 'audience', if you will, because a lot of the stuff turned everybody off, except for the hard-core, "I'll come no matter how often you preach the exact same sermon, verbatim, and force me to sing completely assinine or phenomenally obscure hymns that nobody on the planet likes, perhaps to please the Organist" people. And if you go to Church, you know exactly who I'm talking about! (Don't worry -- I'm pretty sure they don't read my Site! hahaha!) It would be great if they would keep the good old stuff (especially the Good old standard Hymns, that everybody knows, so our kids can know them, too, and we can pass that on), then try the new stuff a little at a time, and treat it like a Marketing Idea, and see how it flies. Keep it if it works, drop it if it doesn't. Ooooh, the Churches are gonna love me for saying that, but I would just like to see Good Services, where people truly want to go back and do it, again and again, and happily bring their children into the Fold.

You know what I would really, really love? Church Services on the Beach. I Googled 'Church Services on the Beach', and came up with someone else asking where she could find an Easter Service on the Beach in Hawaii... now, I wouldda flown to Hawaii for a Church Service on the beach over there! haha! But I don't understand why we don't have Church Services on the beach in Los Angeles... we're living in sunny California, right on the beach, with no Sunrise Service on da beach? Say it ain't so! If any one knows of one (or a lot of them), please drop me a line and let me know... or if there's a Church out there who might like to try this, I'm in! On the condition that we get to sing at least three good Hymns (old ones!) whilst looking at the ocean! That doesn't sound unreasonable, does it? I'd be happy to create a new page just for outdoor Services anywhere, so if you know of one and would like me to post it, drop me a line. I know I'm not the only one who likes to Worship outside, right??

Oh, hey, and I've got this new 'thing' that I'm very interested in, right now... a friend of mine is able to get any type of vehicle through a Dealer Auction, then he can sell it to whoever is interested for a very small mark up, to cover his costs... it's really amazing. We just got a car on the weekend, a 2005 Ford Escape, in fantastic condition (it looks like it's brand new), and it's for sale for $10,500., if you know anyone who is looking for a new-to-you SUV! I have an SUV, and, frankly, I love driving it. That's right, I said it. I love my SUV. I need the room. And I do all sorts of other Good Things for the Environment, so I'm okay with it! And it's surprisingly good on gas, so no worries there... You know what? I have been struggling to remember how to put pictures on my site, again... I know that sounds painfully sad on my part, that basic information seems to just slip on out of my head, seemingly never to be found again, every now and then (is this a 45 year old trait, or just me?? hahaha!). I think I'm gonna try to make new pages for these cars that we come across, then make a link for My Readers (That's You! And you know I love you for it! haha!) on my Site to see if we can get some really good car deals for My Fantastic, Brilliant, and Careful with Their Money Readers! (You know how much I value that last skill, of being extra-careful with yer money!) Okay, let me go try it! I'll add the link if I can figure it out! In the mean time, if you ever want to have us look for a specific vehicle for you, and you want a really great price, drop me a line and we'll see what we can do for you! Could be fun!

Gotta run! (Okay, I've gotta get to bed!) Thanks for popping in for a wee visit! You know I love to see you! Take Care 'til Next Time, Ailsa xox

Sunday, February 10th, 2008. Well, well, well. Here we are, already, at everyone's favorite, favorite week, Valentine's Week. The week to either pledge your love to someone, or wait for someone to pledge their love to you, or dread that someone will utter those three little words, and what are you gonna say back? "Yes, well, you are pleasant enough, too...", which is not really the anticipated response... and herein lies the profuse problems with Valentine's Day. Personally, I really can't remember a Valentine's Day that was truly great. That's terrible, right? I know I've received a lot of lovely gifts over the years, and I'm trying to remember if there was at least one Valentine's that I loved, but nothin'. I got nuthin'! It seems I'm either on my way out of a relationship, but I'm the only one who has noticed my intentions to move on, or something new is happening, but it really hasn't moved on up to the next level, yet... you know what I mean? And the worst part is when you are either approaching a marriage (in the middle of an Engagement, wondering if and how you could get out of it... just meeee?? haha!) or already married, but you're standing in front of all the Valentine's Day Cards, searching for a card that doesn't say "I Love You", on account o' you can't bring yourself to lie in a damn card... is today the day you really get to know me? hahaha! Ain't you glad you swung by?? And now you say you really do need that drink I promised you, earlier?? haha!

Okay, so truth be told, I have already gone out and made my Valentine's Day Chocolate purchases... and I have a series of 'Back-up plans' in case the day rolls around, and I don't think any particular person deserves the deeelicious chocolates, that I might be better served by keeping them for myself, or giving them to someone else... yes, many, many dillemmas on Valentine's Bloody week... I know what you're thinking, right now, because I believe I truly am a bit of a psychic... you're thinking that I have a lovely and open attitude about said Special Day, and that I clearly look forward to seeing what kind of havoc will wreak during this most beauteous week. Am I close? No? Damn. I'm gonna have to go back and do that stoopid psychic training, again, but this time, no drinking during class, 'cause I think I mightta missed a few bits about picking up the insights of others... hmmmm.

Remember the Valentine's Day parties when you were a kid at school? I used to be crazy for those doilies, and the whole gluing of the fancy wee doilies onto those lovely red, construction paper cards we made for our Parents. And the Valentine's Day Container everyone had to make to hold all your Valentine's Day cards from your buddies in class? Now those were fun days! No stress over love and crap like that... oooh, who has a terrible attitude, tonight?? Is it me?? haha! That's okay. This week will be over, soon enough, and then it will be 'Countdown to my Birthday', and I really, really love that day!! I just have to remember not to say anything too mean, or too stooopid, this week, that might put a damper on my Birthday Fun, 'cause that's not debatable! I gots ta have me a Good Time on me Birfday!

Quick Addendum: I was thinking about the whole Valentine's thing, where disappointment and frustration can abound, and you know what I think it all boils down to, really? Expectations. Hallmark Expectations. Everybody has a notion in their head of how this day, that has somehow been blown up into this huuge culmination of love day, should go, and when their Love Interest doesn't come up with anything that even approximates what the other person (usually, the woman) has in their head, all hell can break loose. And for the record, I've had lots and lots of love in my life (Thank God!), it just never seems to come together for me on Valentine's Day. So here's my plan to survive this Valentine's Day... stay in 'The Now' (remember that technique?... Don't think past this very second, focus only on what is actually happening, not what is actively happening in your crazy thoughts... haha!), and let this week pass, as it will, and see where we all are next weekend. There. Oh, and I'm gonna eat a lot of chocolates, and, yes, drink a lot of Red Wine, and I hope you do, too! hahaha!

You know what I have been trying to do with the poor plants on my Balcony that appear to be contemplating suicide? Man, it's like they just don't want to live, anymore... I've been filling them full of 'roids... Plant roids, or at least, that's what I love to call them. I'm roidin' my plants all up, and so far, nuthin'. Not even extra leaves. What's that all about?? I was sure I'd give them all this fancy new plant food, and within a week or so, they'd be big enough to shake my hand and thank me for all the delicious 'juice', if you will...! hahaha! Now, why they no like they new food? That's exactly how I be talkin', now, 'cause I'm tryin' to fit in down here in L.A. Los Angeles, for the Acronym-Challenged. Really, I think there should be an acronym for the word, Acronym. It's only right. And obvious. A.N.M., except for the letters is stuck right in da middle o' da word, so how that gonna work out? Okay, I see the problem. Forget it.

I have some Valentine's Day Recipes from when I was married, and I'm not tryin' to make you jealous, but I had to stay home and make dinner that night, on account o' someone didn't want to "deal with all those crowds". (Yes, I am now happily Single! hahahaha!) The only upside is that I did make a really good dinner, and if you happen to be having a Romantic Dinner at your house on Valentine's Night (should be your very own choice, in order to make it truly Romantic!), you might want to make the Crab Legs and Cherry Cheesecake. My Cherry Cheesecake is sooo delicious, I used to only make it for a man if I wanted to eventually marry him, since it's one of those things that you make and instantly get a Proposal from, so, you know, if you want someone to fall for you, big time, go ahead and make them this unbelievably delicious and light cheesecake. And save some for yourself to have for breakfast in the morning... or, with any luck, for both of you in da morning! hahaha!

Okay, I gots ta bounce, Baby!! You know I love when you pop in for a wee visit! I hope you have your BEST Valentine's Day, ever! And go crazy and buy yourself you very own fantastic box of chocolates, too. It's time to take that old adage, "Love Thyself" to heart, right?? haha! Happy Valentine's Day, Baby! Ailsa

Monday, January 14th, 2008. Happy New Year, Y'all. That's right, I'm takin' that there new English Class for the Slowly Gifted (dat me, dat me!!) that Britney Spears finally has time to teach, now that she's not bogged down by those two kids no more (why yes, that was in Lesson One... you is sooo astute, you might'n wanna take this class, too. Not right now, though,on account'a the course is full, and the 'Prof' sometimes runs a little late, so pretty much every time, you get 'ta go home early, so all in all, it's everything you could ever want in a course, and then some ... haha!)

I know, I'm the worst 'blogger', ever, and I'm reallly stretching the term, 'blogger' to include myself! haha! I still haven't had a second to figure out (successfully, since I've given it a couple of tries, but just couldn't figure the whole thing out... and you know I might have applied myself for a good, oh, 10 to 15 seconds on each try, so it's not like I'm not a hard worker, or nuthin'... If it doesn't work for me immediately, in the tiny window of time I'm willing to learn something new, I gotsta move on. I gotsta bounce, Baby. I got stuff to do, houses to build (with any luck!!). And my schedule is insane, these days, so I feel lucky just to get on da computer, let alone get any work done. I'm motivated today because, thanks to you, my incredibly good looking and vastly intelligent Readers, I had a 30% 'click-through' rate, which I hear is pretty remarkable. Most sites generate a 1% to 2% click-through rate on their ads, but, you... you're amazing. You looove to click on stuff, and me loves you for it! Tank you!!

Hey, you know what would be fun? Nay, 'Mega Fun'?? (I know, now you're really excited! haha!) Now that I'm in L.A., we should arrange to meet in some randomly chosen bar, so we can get to know each other... in a bar. Did I mention that? Well, that's the important part for me. Will you be there? I'll go early, and eventually you'll find me, all slumped over at the bar, but with a really pretty dress on... maybe the Thigh Highs, so's you can recognize me right away... Good Idea? MmmHmmm. I am jam packed full o' Good Ideas. It's just getting them to fruition that's a bit of a challenge for me!

So my School District has me taking an insane amount of courses (considered a full time student life) in addition to my regular Teaching Schedule, just to continue teaching Special Ed in California, which you know I love -- Special Ed and California! It's very frustrating. Thank God I love my job so much, or I'd be buying property in Georgia as I write this (and then again in the morning, because it's unbelievably inexpensive there, compared to L.A.). Almost every day of my stooopid new schedule, I briefly consider Georgia, South Carolina, and one day, Hawaii, but that was because a friend of mine told me about a rumor she had heard that Special Ed teachers make over a Hundred Grand in Hawaii. Of course, I went straight home from yet another course, and Googled it! Dang! It not true. Even Neanderthal Thag is disappointed in that bit of truth. The truth hurts, and I know it now, fer sures! haha!

The irony is that pretty much anywhere else in North America (Europe, the Islands... you name it), I would be considered a Specialist in Special Education, and not be treated like a brand new teacher with no clue how to do anything (can you feel the bitterness, yet? haha!) ... I think that's the part I find so insulting, but when you're an immigrant, you have to put up with a lot of stuff like that just to stay in your New Country, and I love America like nothing else, so I just keep moving forward, and hope I get through it in one piece, still happy. There are a lot of delicious looking Firemen at the place I go for lunch on one of my courses, so at least I get to see a fair bit of 'Male Eye Candy', so you know I like that! haha!

Oh, here's a little trick you can play on your friends... please not to do this at Church, sooo, maybe keep this little joke for your, oh, filthy friends... I don't know, maybe those are your Church friends! hahaha! (You know I'm laughing out loud, now... the important thing is to always amuse yourself, first, that way if all else fails, at least you is still havin' a good time, right?? Reminds me of a 'Blind Date' I had last week, but more on that in a minute...) Okay, so this is really classy. You take a kid's fake tattoo (yeah, just go ahead and steal it from them... you're bigger than them, so it shouldn't be too tricky). Carefully put it above your behind in the traditional 'Tramp Stamp' area... are you still reading? haha! I put on a Skull 'n Crossbones, but the Skull was smiling, so I said "He died smiling". Buh-dum-bum. You can tell as many peoples as you like, for fun, but you have to be willing to show at least one other person for proof of your deed, so I recommend wearing something with an elastic waist, so you can easily and readily share your silliness with a friend! haha! (It was really funny, and we all laughed. Hey, this would be a fun gag for April Fool's Day, too, and you know how much I love that!) Now here's the really funny thing... it looked really good, so now, if I ever get over my fear of needles, maybe I'll get a Tramp Stamp, fer real! Only I keep thinking of what that will be like when I'm Eighty, and on the beach in Florida... are you really forced to move to Florida when you turn 79? I gotta check into that! hahaha!

Still mildly curious about my Blind Date? Oh, man. Makes marriage look good! haha! Let's just start it with you imagining me holding my hand about three inches over my head... "You gots 'ta be this tall to be with me..." My friend, Lovicia, says to me on my way down to The Marina, "I'm gonna laugh if he's 5'5". Well, I got there, and who was towering over her date?? Dat right, it was me! So that's not good, right from the very start. But I'm still hopeful, 'cause maybe there's a great conversationalist in that little body... nope. Not happenin'. I was trying to figure out how I could be polite, not hurt anybody's feelings, but make my earliest escape, possible... luckily, there was a particularly loong break when he went to the bathroom, and an amazingly handsome man sat down beside me, so I told him of my escape plan, and he laughed, so it was good to know that my voice still worked, since I had barely spoken one word since the whole fabulous evening began... hmmm. That not good! Turns out, this fellow was a Football Coach for the NFL, and two of his Coach friends came and sat down beside him before they went for dinner, so that was the best part of the evening (that and I finally did manage to escape early and went to Home Depot, where I saw some fantastic new Sliding Mirrored Doors with beautiful Wood Trim, instead of the old-fashioned Mirrored Sliders...I'm very excited about that! haha!). The really funny part was that I was ridiculously giddy about getting outta there, and going to Home Depot... all by myself! How crazy is that?? I think I might be slightly (but happily) dysfunctional! hahaha!

Okay, I need to go, and you need to get back to your video poker... thanks for swingin' by! C'ya, Baby! Ailsa

Monday, November 19th, 2007. (Technically, it's after Midnight, so time for me to turn on da computer, and actually Tues., Nov. 20th... oooh, is you all mad at me for being away so long?? No, don't be mad... I'll make it up to you, fer sure!)... Okay, there, Little Cutie. Or "L'il Q-T", as you prefer to be called. I forgot about your new-found love of shortened words, thanks to the advent of text messaging! haha! Hilarious how so many of our words are one tiny letter, now, and yet the school system is still all stuck on 'spelling'. I can't wait for the new Oxford Dictionary to come out with "R" - shortened version of "are", commonly used in Text Messaging on cell phones in America... and, no, there's no need to feel sorry for me, that waiting for the lastest edition of the Oxford Dictionary is high on my list of important and exciting things.... I'm okay with this current level of living! I'm pretty sure that one day it will all get better, and I'll have even bigger and better things to look forward to, right? Right?? (And, no, this is no time to break any bad news to me! haha!)

Okay, so you know what I just finished watching, thanks to the miracle that is the DVR? That's right, The Bachelor. Oh, what a lovely show, all full of hope and love, then bitter rejection at the very end, all for our viewing pleasure. My very favorite part was when Deanna, the second reject of the evening, was in the Limo, where I'm pretty sure they ply the women with wine until they break down enough for the cameras, and she says, "I didn't give a #&^* about what he said...". I don't know what the word was that they bleeped, but it sounded like a really angry expletive, no?? hahahaha! (Okay, I'm just making myself laugh, now, as usual! Sometimes you have to be your own best comedian, to truly enjoy your life!)

I think the very first clue that there might be a slight problem, was when the show introduced Brad's twin brother, aptly named Chad, since I guess the 'Twin Rule" is that the names have to rhyme in some way, and not a crap half-rhyme, neither. A full-on rhyme, or how will people know, fer sures, that they'se related, hmmm? It's guesswork after that, and that's not fair to anybody, especially a group of 25 drunk girls out lookin' for a husband in three short weeks... that ain't right. Everybody knows it takes at least a month to find your True Love, and even then, on week Five, you might see that they are slightly flawed, and want to back out of the Wedding Plans. (Yes, this is a glimpse into my past, bizarrely enough! I got engaged after three weeks of knowing my First Husband. Hmmm. Now why didn't somebody tell me that was crazy, when I was too stooopid and naive to figure it out for meself?? There, now I don't have to take responsibility for it, myself, so I'm good to go!! On to the Next Relationship... all secure 'n everything! haha!)

An Actual Real Estate Tip, which I happened to pick up when I was out drinking a whole lot of wine (yum!). Let's see if I get this even remotely right! Okay, so let's say you go and look at a property, and there are, say, 10 old cars on the property. Laying around, all crappy, 'n everything. Or even one extra car, that some guy has a Big Plan to restore (really, I have only met about a zillion men who all love to collect old cars, with the fantastical notion that they will one day magically transform it into their Dream Car, but, unfortunately enough, it remains on it's cinder blocks for the entire time that it is in the yard, or in the Front Driveway, where everyone else in the neighborhood can watch the progress, with great interest in seeing it done. For the record, I do know two brothers who did completely rebuild their car, and it was stunning -- a big, red, fancy sports car, but I don't think it symbolized anything, so don't spend any more time worrying about that...).

On with the Actual Tip: Okay, so despite what your head tells you about not buying the property with the junk car on it, you go ahead and buy it, anyway. Now you've got a house you want to fix up, and a crappy old car to get rid of... what to do, what to do? Here'a where the tip I picked up at the Wine Tasting: Late at night, maybe your car goes into neutral, and it rolls onto the street, where it finds itself over by the curb, in a safe location not on your property. I have it on good authority that someone else might come along and remove it. Now, I can't verify this, because I can't remember any names, on account o' the wine, but they seemed to know what they were talking about, so I'm just passing along what may or may not be true. Frankly, you know I like to make an extra buck, so I would call a scrap yard to see if I could sell it to them, or sell the parts, and if they would pay the removal fee. Then I would find out what the removal fee was, and the time frame involved in someone coming out to the new house to get the damn car... (because by then, you probably hate it, and are sick of looking at it...). If you are lucky enough to get the real papers for the vehicle (mustang or truck, the two most common 'fixer-upper cars', according to me, since you know I can't be bothered looking up any actual facts! haha!), you could put it on Craig's List, or some similar thing, and sell it to yet another guy who has Big Plans to fix it all up, then you've made someone else happy, put a little more money in yo' pocket, and got rid of a monstrosity, all in one fell swoop. See how easy? So don't let a few extra vehicles around the property deter you from buying a house... I'm sure you can be creative in your quest to get rid of them. Or you could go ahead and in about ten years, or so, maybe get to fixin' them, yourself! haha!

I just remembered that I saw this Ad for AutoAnything, which is just what we talked about, so how funny is that? And Mr. Beer? Puhleeease, that's just a good combo, what with the Holidays coming up, 'n all! And then, I found this new site where you can have any question answered, on the off-chance that you still have an unanswered question, and you are tired of waiting for your friends to get waaaay smarter...

You know I care about you, but I have to let you go. We canny get married, so quit yer cryin'... oh, wait, that's a flash-back to The Bachelor! My Bad! You're not out of the running, yet, but we're gonna have to take it a little slower, and I'm probably gonna need to see, uh, your face, 'n stuff... you know, you might have heard that before, especially if you've been on those wildly successful dating sites... and if you have been all lucky in love through a dating site, email me, and tell us -- we loove a good story!! I gotsa bounce, Baby! C U Soon! Ailsa xoxo(yep, we're just that close!!)

Saturday, September 7th, 2007. Oooh, that sounds like a lucky day, don't it? (I know, I should get some edumacation for that problem grammar, but I don't gots dat kind o' time, what with all the courses I really have to take! haha!) Man, I can't believe it's been so long since I've been in here. My bad! Forgive me? What if I have a drink with you, would you forgive me, then? Hmmm? You don't know what to buy for me? Really, if you is buyin' da drink, I'll take whatever it is, which reminds me of my very recent trip to Calgary, Alberta, home of the $1.50 shots (which I had a lot of!) and where I gots me a DIVORCE!!! Yep, I'm a Free Woman, and all very excited about it! WooHoo!! Who would ever have guessed that Divorce would be the one thing that would make me really happy? A little ironic, right? hahaha! Ah, well. It's all good. Everyone's fine, and we all get along, so now we'll just go on about our lives in separate countries!

Aaaand, I'm gainfully employed! Yeah, I'm just as thrilled as you are! (Although I'm not so sure what that look of surprise is on yo' face -- you know what? If you're in L.A., too, maybe you just had another face lift, and that's the look, not sheer and utter surprise that I would have an actual job! hahaha!) I found out that my job was safe for another year the same day I signed the initial Divorce Agreement. And by 'agreement', I mean 'settlement', and by 'settlement', I mean 'screwedlement', which is a new word I think could easily become the big new word for couples trying to split up their stuff. Okay, you know I'm laughing, now, on account o' my new word! Do that annoying technique where you use a new word in a sentence three times, then the word is yours. Try and use it around your in-laws, if you still have any! WooHoo!! I don't!! Yippee! Do you remember that article I wrote when things were really bad for me with the whole in-law/out-law thing? Let me link you to that, for a laugh. Dealing with Difficult People, think I called it. You know what? I just went into my site to see what I called it, and I labelled it 'Getting along with Jerks'! How funny is that? And now I don't have to get along with anyone... technically. Except for the people all around me, but no one can make me get along with anyone who is regularly mean to me. There. See the difference? Happy versus unhappy!

Oh, hey. I have an actual, real Quick Tip for you that I just figured out, tonight. I drove my SUV up to Canada so I could load it up with all the crap I couldn't jam in the car, last year, when we first moved back down to Los Angeles. I say crap, because it seems that I felt (before I left my marriage) that I would require a million wine glasses and martini glasses in order to proceed with my new life. I didn't bother to look in the boxes before I packed them in the car this time, since they were clearly marked, and I did remember that I felt very strongly at the time of packing that I absolutely, desperately, needed these superfluous items. And a Silver Tea Set. No kidding. Now who was I planning to have tea with, hmmm? Now I'm gonna have to invite the Queen over, and frankly, I don't think she's gonna come. Especially if she finds out about me grammar problem. And she probably wouldn't care for my mini-skirts. Yeah, that's not gonna work out. There's another pipe dream shot all to hell. Thanks a lot, Silver Tea Set. Now I'm gonna have to think of a new pipe dream... maybe Craig Ferguson will come over, dressed up as The Queen of England. (Is it appropriate to have your tea guest stay over? Divorcee's ask terrible questions like that, and now that I are one -- Timberland is helping me with my grammar -- I think it's okay.) I think Craig Ferguson's Queen would be a much better guest, anyway, and might even like the mini-skirts! hahaha!

Oy Vey, what about the Tip?? Who has been rambling on, and almost forgot some valuable information for you? And by valuable, I don't mean I think you could sell this idea to your more moronic friends, although it's definitely worth a try. They are pretty gullible, and that's the fun part. They're probably loaded, too, since a lot of peoples with tons o' money make you wonder if University is really a necessity... nooo, you know how I feel about that. University is great for a lot of people, but we should never lose sight of the fact that we need to make sure enough people are trained in the Skilled Professions, 'cause who's gonna help us build all 'dem houses, eh? (Still a little Canadian in there for you!)

Quick Tip: Use a Hair 'scrunchie', the smaller one, or the sparkly 'material' ones, double it, and put around the base of a candle to keep it upright in a candle holder. Guess how I knows this? That's right, the other boxes I brought back were full of Candle Sticks and Hurricane Candle Holders. Beautiful, and completely unnecessary. Turns out, I don't have a big need for Hurricane Lamps, even if they are made out of cut crystal... I tried that old method of lighting the candle and letting some wax drip into the candle holder, then quickly placing the candle into the holder in hopes of making the candle 'stick' and stay upright, so-to-speak... anyway, that hardly ever really works, so try this. If you're male, and don't have a vast amount of scrunchies around the house, that's possibly a good thing, so don't stress. You can buy them at any drugstore. They're very, very expensive. I think 500 for $1.19, or something like that... now don't go looking for that kind of a deal -- I just joking! I can't remember how much they are. I'm pretty sure that if you had the funds for da candle, you'll be able to handle the vast costs of the scrunchie hair holders, too. And not those old giant scrunchies from the Eighties... nooo. Don't put them on your candles or on you hair. Nope. Come with me into da future -- it's brighter, I hear, so bring your sunglasses. We'll both look cooler, and that's what it's all about in L.A.! hahaha!

Okay, I gotsta bounce, Baby. Fun talking with you (some say 'talking at', but I feel we're closer than that, now, on account o' all the drinks you've shared with me over the years! haha!). You know you're my very favorite. Please don't go blabbing that all over the place like the last time, though. Crowd control is a bee-otch. Keep on keepin' on, an' all that! I say that because we spent a lot of time on the road with all those truckers, and I think they might like that phrase, still... and so do I! Have as much Fun as you can, and I'll see you soon! Love, Laughter & Perhaps a Bottle of Something Deeeelicious... Ailsa

If you've checked out my Bio, you'll know I loves me The Simpsons! You can get some hilarious Simpsons and Family Guy ringtones at Jamster.com. (Or your favorite music -- I have Baby Boy da Prince, The Way I Live for my main ringtone, and Peter Frampton, Baby I Love Your Way for my Text Messages (remember that great song??). Loove those ringtones! haha! Cool songs, great ringtones!)

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007. Hey there, you sweet thing, you. I mean 'You', with a big capital 'Y'... 'cause you (You, I mean) deserve it, what with your fantastic efforts to make me little site all big and prosperous... well, not so much prosperous just yet, but you definitely must be telling yo' friends and whoever else you know about my site, since my numbers have more than doubled in the last week! WooHoo!! It's just a matter of time before I make more than a dollar a day! (Yes, kidding... it's gotta at least be up to $1.76 by now, right?? hahahahaha!) Oooh, I'ma lovin' my Readers (You!), right now! And can you believe it, I'm completely sober. Yep. Take note, now, 'cause you know this won't last long! hahaha! (I'm all giddy, on account o' my Numbers!)

Man, oh Man. That makes my day that has been incredibly stressful end a whole lot nicer... to be frank (and not Shirley), this has been an exceptionally difficult time for me, lately, and I kept waiting for this to pass so I could write something really positive on my lovely little site, here, but you know how reality can really suck sometimes, right? Well, turns out it can bite, too, if you know what I mean... and I know you do! Thank God for my little Jesus bracelet (I've been trying to find them online, but so far, no luck.. I'll keep searching for them, in case you want one, too...). Really, you'd think it'd be all worn down by now, with the sheer amount of praying I've been doing, lately. I've been coming up against a brick wall of beaurocracy (sooo late... wonder if I'm anywhere near the correct spelling for that?).

I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that I can solve my issues tomorrow, since I have to sign a new lease at my apartment. Hmmmm. I sooo wanted to buy my own place down here in Los Angeles, and had gone out to look at condos, and was all very excited about purchasing my very own home. It would have been the very first home I would have owned with only my name on the Mortgage, and that would have been exciting, right? I mean, it's not like I don't think that will happen at all for me, now, it's just that my Time Frame is completely screwed up, and it ain't lookin' good for me. Ugh. Hate being a Renter, looove being an Owner... buuut, I have to be careful with a purchase, just like anyone else who's in a slightly precarious situation. I don't want to buy something, then find out I have to leave the Country, or State, or whatever.... I definitely never want to have a Fire Sale.

Oh, quickie note for anyone who just said out loud (or they are at the very least, mouthing the words as they read, like any intellectual would do... you see it all the time in the Halls of Academia, folks reading with their mouths open, their jaws all slack from all the literature they have to read, one long word after another, for minutes on end...), "Fire Sale, what be a Fire Sale?". Well, let me tell you, oh interested one. A "Fire Sale" (the quotes are just for annoying fun, probably just for me, since you may or may not know some idiot who routinely holds up their pudgy fingers in the "Quote Move") happens when some God-Awful thing happens in your life and you are forced to sell a property as quickly as possible, as if it's, say... on fire. Ooooh, says, Thorg, my favorite Neanderthal. He is quick to catch on. Like fi-yah'. So I don't want that to happen to me. You can lose a whole lot of money, and I'm trying to hold onto mine... and make it grow! (Oh, yeah... when you talk like Thorg, or Mr. Thorg, now that he's so damn famous, remember to put your lips into an over-extended 'O' sound ... waaaay funnier, for you and for me, since I'm already doing it, and now I can visualize you doing it, too! hahahaha! Ooooooh.)

I've been keeping an eye on the property sales down here, and some properties are staying on the market for a surprising amount of time, and you know that not good. (MmHmmm, that is what Thorg told me...). I am always curious to the extent that realtors might have some hand in this, in that they do prefer to show clients homes that come straight on the market -- looks better for them, since if you can say a property has only been on the market for 3 days, it must be a hot market, right? Well, what about the properties that have been on the market for 30 days, 45 days, 65 days? It happens all the time, and you might be hard pressed to find those places. Makes it look like that property won't move, but there might be all sorts of extenuating circumstances for that home to take longer than another to sell. Price is often the biggest factor, here. I just want you to be aware of that if you are checking out yer own area, and you're trying to gage the strength or weakness of the housing market.

Okay, that's enough (enuf? Dem big words is trickie.) learnin' fer today. Really, I should get to bed. I Hope to God that I can get more answers, tomorrow, so I can make some really good, informed decisions. (And then, with any luck, Good Decisions from here on in...! Poor decisions be-gone! hahaha!) Oh, I haven't even had a chance to tell you about this amazing course I'm taking about Black History in Los Angeles -- fascinating (and very upsetting, since it's really unbelievable how so many people were discriminated in housing alone, not to mention the myriad of other areas, and so systematically -- I'm gonna have to write a page about it, since what I found out is shocking, and a whole lot more people should know the reality of the past). I'll write about that Mortgage 'Red Lines' and those insane 'Race Covenants ' on the Mortgage Deeds as soon as I can.

Did I say I was going to bed? Right, right. Gotta go. I gots 'ta go. Do I repeat my self when I'm sleepy? Do I repeat myself when I'm not? Wait'll you come drinking with me! You'll hear story after story, many of them identical to the last! hahaha! Good Night! Nightie Night. See 'ya (that's what you say towards the end of yer marriage... guess how I knows that? haha!) You know you're my favorite! (And, yes, that is primarily based on how incredibly good-looking you are, but I never claimed not to be shallow, did I? Shallow like a puddle, that's me. Hope that doesn't make me filthy, too! hahahaha!) On that inappropriate, but fun, note, I bid you adieu. Ugh, I am tired. Slipped into French there for a minute! haha! Later, Baby! Ailsa

Monday, July 2nd, 2007. Hello. hello, helllo, my sweet little angelic friends! Oh, wait a minute... that can't be right. I don't know anybody who's all sweet and angelic... you know that would just annoy me to no end! hahaha! Hey, there, you crazies! There. That's much more accurate. Better to have a little crazy in your life than all that angelic stuff -- I'm pretty sure they don't have nearly as much fun as we like to have, am I right?? Yeah, totally! haha! Okay, so that brings me right to the point, and so early into my schpiel... guess who made a cool Paris Hilton connection over this past weekend? Dat's right, 'twas meee! And my lovely daughter, Cara. WooHoo! And Cara actually talked to Paris Hilton's brother, Baron, yesterday -- can you believe that? Our first year in Los Angeles, and we're a'movin' an' a-shaken'!

I know. That's hot. (You know I'm laughing as I write this!) Oh, that's just fun to write, let alone say... aaand, we met two people over the weekend who have direct connections to Hugh Hefner (Come on, now, we all know he's 'Just Hef'!), and it's lookin' really good for Cara and I to go to the Playboy Mansion. WooHoo! We're all very excited about that one! Hope I get lucky and get to meet Craig Ferguson, the Scottish Comic -- looove him, and I'm pretty sure he likes 'dem girls up at The Mansion! haha! So it was a great weekend. And now that I've finally sobered up, all the better. Man, you'd think a girl would know her limits at this stage o' me life, but apparently not. Ah, well. As far as I can recall, I had a great time!

Yesterday, July 1st, was Canada Day, so I had to get myself together after one of my worst hangovers, evah', and made my way down to Santa Monica (California), for the Canada Day Festivities (and by 'festivities', I mean more drinking... and Fries & Gravy... and some wonderful Canadian brought delicious Butter Tarts, which are a staple in the Candian diet, and I didn't realize you can't get them here in the States... so I had me one of those, too...). I'll get a great recipe for Butter Tarts and add it to my Recipe section on the site. Think I'll make them with my Students when we get back to school.

Oh, that totally reminds me (yep, I'm gonna milk the 'totally' thing! haha!).. I got my Work Visa renewed! WooHoo! One more year! I'm gonna have to find out how to switch up my Work Visa so I can stay longer than that, if that's even possible. Must do a little more investigation, and not just in Bars...

I'm on vacation, this week, and actively trying to figure out how a Canadian, such as meself, can possibly get a Mortgage down here in the States... I'm hoping my Canadian Beacon Score (the equivalent to the American Fico Score) can be brought down here, since I have an excellent score up there in Canada. Hmmm. I'll let you know. I did go out to look at some property a couple of weeks, ago. Some really nice Condos available, so that's what I'll probably end up with. Hard to find a house in my new (read: not married any more! haha!) 'dollar range' that would be workable for me, and now that I live sooo close to my job (I don't even have to get on the Freeway to get to work!), I really want to stay in pretty much my own little area. I'm in West L.A., and I love it over here. So handy for everything I like to do, so I'm very reluctant to move beyond my new borders.

Oh, and I spent the day (and good portion of the night... not in that way, you crazies...) with an unbelieveably gorgeous man, 'Nick O.', from Passions and Prison Break. Man, those actors can be sooo alluring! I told him that I had seen him in the gym the week before, and he had his flip-flops on... I glanced at the flip-flops, first, and thought, "Now who would wear flip-flops to the gym?", then as I looked up at at this fine figure of a man, I thought, "Oh, Gawd, who the hell cares what you wear at the gym, as long as you come back!" hahaha! He thought that was funny, too! I'm telling you, Los Angeles is every bit as fun as you might have ever heard it was! We're sooo thrilled that we get to stay!

Okay, gotta go. My little man, Aidan, is waiting for me to take him to the pool. Love that as an easy option in our new lives! See you soon, Baby! Have a drink for me on July 4th!! Ailsa

Hey, it's another Holiday -- Happy Memorial Day Weekend to all my American Readers... dare I say, "Frienz..."?! hahaha!

Sunday, May 27th, 2007. Hey, Baby. Whad up, whad up? (Lookie me, all Americanized 'n stuff!) So, what are you up to on the 'puter on Memorial Day? Big plans for BBQ's, swimming, scootering...? Not the Scootering, but you're in for the rest, you say? Suit yousel'. I can't get enough of that crazy little scooter -- we head to the beach with them as often as possible. I like when Cara goes with us, because she stops and starts, giving me a little break in between, but when Aidan (my little 7 year old son) and I go on our own, he just goes like the wind and I have to keep up with him. I'm starting to develop one giant leg on the 'scooter side' from that kid, alone! hahaha!

So I had this bizarre dream, last night, where I was on this River Rafting Trip, Level 5, and it was at first very appealing -- some might say exciting, starting out all calm and nice, then a little rough, but par for the course... moving on to insanely crazy where you can't believe water can treat you so badly, it's all crazy, you think you're not gonna make it through that stretch of the river. You get out to smooth water again and are just thankful to have survived that craziness, sit back, enjoy the scenery for a little while.. a baby deer here, some beautiful trees there, then, wham, you're back in it, again, all insane-like, and you wonder what the hell you're doing there...the ride is finally over and you drive away, thinking you will never, not ever, get into that, again, then 3 miles down the road you see another sign for Level 4 River Rafting, and before you know it, you're back in the damn raft, and it's all happening, again. Yes, folks, apparently I'm dreaming in analogies, now. Sounds like a Relationship to me! haha! Perhaps I'll push it back to Level 3, but wouldn't you know I'm always attracted to the Level 5's? Damn their good looks!

Hey, you know what I want to do some writing on, that I really haven't seen a lot of readily accessible information, that's actually up-to-date? Info on Graffitti. One 't' or two? Do you have to be able to spell graffitti before you're allowed to go buy your very first spray can of paint, me wonders? That might cut down on crime, right there, with everyone busy looking up their Dictionaries to check for correct spelling. I think it would be good for people to be able to read the graffitti, and to be aware of the symbolism. Some Graffitti is so beautiful, it should be considered Modern Art. There used to be a train that passed me by when I lived in the country in Alberta, and you would have to wait for ages for the train to go past, so I would look at all the cars, and there was one 'artist' who did incredible work... I hope that kid made it to Art School -- what talent! Anyway, I'm gonna see what I can learn, then maybe get that on the site.

So I only have 5 weeks until the end of June, and I have to know what to tell the people at my Apartment Complex what my plans are for the next year, and I don't have any more confirmation on whether I can stay in California or America. Soo frustrating. I keep looking at all my fancy new furniture -- I set up this place to live here for 3 years, with any luck, because my Work Visa is supposed to be extended from year to year (Visitor's Visa), for 3 years, then they see what can be done after that. Okay. That's workable. Right now, coming down to the wire, the stress level for me is through the roof, not knowing anything at all about the time past August. If I'm able to stay, I need to go buy a Condo or something, since I really hate renting, although I do love my apartment... too much money down the drain renting, though. I think about it all the time. Yesterday, I was lounging about in the Hot Tub, wondering what my life would be like if I didn't constantly have to worry about where I will be allowed to live, and for how long. Lucky Americans! Wish I could be one! haha!

Oh, and the furniture is a big issue for me because of the sheer amount of work involved in moving it, especially if it has to be moved across country. When I left Alberta, I left all our furniture with my ex-husband, so I didn't have to think about that.. now it's all brand new, and all my own choices (all suede, all the time, and all dark wood, too! haha!), and too much money into it to turn around, sell it, and start yet again... plus, this feels like home, now, and I really don't want to go, so the furniture is really, I suppose, just another symbol for what else I'm feeling. All touchy-feely this morning!

My High School had their Prom on Friday Night, so I was a chaperone, particularly for one of my own Special Ed. students, 'John'. You know how much I love my students, but I'll tell you, it's unbelievable to see your really special students all dressed up and celebrating their graduation. My class had gone down to the Garment District in Los Angeles, bought a whole suit, shoes, shirt, tie 'n all, for under $100., which I thought was incredible, so he had the whole outfit for the night -- he looked amazing! When we were lined up for the Prom Pictures, the woman behind the desk asked if 'John' was 'Staff' -- how cool is that?? 'John' had the time of his life, and we took him out on the Cruise into the Harbour at the Marina (Marina del Rey), too, and he had a blast. You know what I would like to see more of? A closer look in the media of Adults dealing with Autism. You always see kids with Autism, but those kids grow up, and they can have very successful lives. It would be great for parents to see success stories, so they could all have a good handle on what the future might hold for them, too. My 'John' is 22, now, so he will be moving on to another Community Program, and we are working to get him a job close to his home. If anyone ever wondered why Teaching is rewarding, they would just have to have a quick look at us, beaming with pride over our student, 'John', as he danced the night away with all the other kids.

One more thing about the Prom before I go... you know what struck me that night? The kids looked sooo good, all dressed up in their gorgeous Prom Dresses and Prom Suits... it struck me that if kids were to wear suits or dress as neatly as that when they went to school every day, I wonder how that would affect academic and social performance? I'm not talking about a School Uniform, or anything -- that doesn't allow for enough individuality, which is critical in the teen years... I'm just thinking that when you are all dressed up, the chances of acting nicely and responsibly go waaaaay, way up, right? It's like you're more like an adult that day, or something, you know? And when I looked at all the other Graduating Students, who really are not kids, anymore, they are all adults, it makes me feel good about the future. So Congratulations to all the other Graduates out there -- and the parents who raised them. I think I'll have a drink to Toast to them! haha! (A drink with my toast, since it's still pretty early?? haha -- no, I know the 'Noon' rule... don't drink past noon, right? Into the following day, is that right? Well, if they would quit making drinking rules, it would be a lot easier to remember them... hahaha!) Okay, on that note, let me say thank you for swinging by... you're looking fabulous, as always. It would be nice if you occasionally got dressed before you get on the computer, but really, who am I to complain? And it's not like I understand the technology enough to actually see you.... yet! hahahaha! Watch out, World, when I start learnin' stuff! Later, Baby! Ailsa

Sunday, May 13th, 2007. Happy Mother's Day, to all the fantabulous Moms out there!! You know I don't really call it 'Mother's Day'... I've bastardized yet another lovely day with 'Happy Sch'Mithers Day'! I like it better, and frankly, it's more fun to say! I also like 'Happy Mudda's Day', and that particular phrase doesn't need to be limited to the fairer sex (women, in case youse not sure...! hahaha!). Okay, so if youse a woman and a Mother, I hope you have a fantastic day, and actually get to do something that you want to do at some point during this special day...

I think we are gonna make an attempt at the Cheesecake Factory, and just see if we can get in. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be jam-packed, but you can't make reservations, anyway, so I figure we have just as good a chance as any of dem other Mutha's for getting in, right? I know, I do have a lovely attitude! And here, we just went to The Cheesecake Factory on Friday night, to celebrate my daughter, Cara's, 19th Birthday... hard to believe I have a 19 year old... and here I hardly look a day over 44! haha! The kids got me a gorgeous Art Book of Georgia O'Keefe's work -- beautiful! I love her work. I'll see if I can find a link for the book, or her Art, and pop it on here. Think I might have a link on my Art page...

Aaand, here's a cool thing I got from Cara's boyfriend, Jon, this week. A Jesus Bracelet. Have you heard of these, or, better yet, seen them? I've gotta find a link for you, too... I'm wearing it right now -- come on, Jesus, make my life waaaay better! (I'm waiting, wearing the bracelet, hoping, praying ... haha!) I'll let you know how it all turns out... I just went to find them, and they are tricky wee things to locate, so I'll keep looking and post a link asap. There's a great link for some Religious Jewelry on my regular Jewelry page, so you might want to check them out... worth a try!

Okay, so everyone is waiting for me to get ready to go to the pool. I got a new Kurt Vonnegut book (new to me, since I haven't read it, yet...) on Friday when we were at The Grove Farmer's Market in Los Angeles... great book store in there... so I was at the pool, yesterday, couldn't put the book down, and think I mightta got me some sun stroke... so today I'm just going for a swim! Save the sun stroke for another day...

I hope you have a lovely day, and with any luck, there might be some drinks involved... only if that's what you're into, of course, otherwise, we're back to doing stuff other people want you to do... do your own thing, today, Baby, and have a ton of fun!! You know how much I care about you!! See you soon! Ailsa

Sunday, April 29th, 2007. Hey. (Head nod.) How's it hangin'? I know, that's kinda sad, but I've always secretly wanted to say that, but, really, when is that gonna be socially acceptable for me to say, especially if I'm at, say, work. Or Church. An important Business Meeting. Tryin' to score a Date (well, that might be the exception, but let's not go there, just yet!). See why I had to grasp at the opportunity, right here on the 'Net, where all sorts of inappropriate things go on -- or so I've heard... haha!

Let me just get a quick apology out of the way, first, since I am very much aware of my level of neglect, or as I might better put it, my 'momentary lapse in doing any work' (do that sound bettah'??). I think about my site, I do. Usually when I'm in the car, or at the beach. Sometimes when I'm on the 'puter, but by then it's waaay after midnight (I'm seven minutes away from midnight as I write this! What's that? You like my careful planning? Well, thank you for the lovely compliment... I am good at Time Management, provided you include all of the wee hours of the morning, lest I would never get anything done! haha!). Okay. I'se sorry. I be back sooner, next time. Fer sures, eh. (Can't shake 'dem Canadian words!)

So a lot of things have been happening in my life, lately. One of the biggest things is that I've come to the firm decision to definitely get a divorce. I was waffling there for a while, feeling all guilty, 'n all, but now I'm sure, and feel good about that. I just needed to be sure there was nothing else I could do to save that marriage before I made the final decision. So now I Single... and frankly, it's kinda fun. Tricky to navigate the dating world, though, since I don't understand why people wouldn't set out to be friends, first... has that changed? And wouldn't you look at everyone you meet as a potential business contact, as much as anything else? I'm a Business Girl, first... me canny help it. I loves me da money! I'm thinking about writing a book about being Single as a full-on Adult (does that just mean 'old'?? hahaha!). And for the record, no, I don't view myself as old. Not at all. I'm not fighting my age, but I'm definitely working with it to make sure I look and feel young as long as possible. (I'll be one of those Grannies in the Gym, all buff, but kinda wrinkly, when I'm, oh, about 80...! yuff, yuff!)

This last few weeks I've been taking these weekend courses, and they will continue for a while, yet, all in order to continue teaching in California. I've been reading a lot of articles (okay, two articles, but I'm sure there are waaay more, and I'm not sure why you would want to call me on that...come on, now. Am I lying -- or recreating the truth -- to you that much that you wouldn't just believe everything I might utter?) on Teacher Shortages in California. Yeah, I think I know why. They are making Teachers jump through so many hoops and jump so many hurdles (that's a lot of jumping, and you know how teachers hate to jump...), that really highly qualified teachers are leaving the field by choice or are forced out by some pretty crazy Government Restrictions. Not sure why that has happened, but it should be a real concern for parents, since they might not be aware of what the reality is for teachers, these days.

When I graduated from University in Ontario, Canada, from one of the best Universities in Canada (Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario), the deal was that you received your Education Degree (along with whatever other Degree you had before that), and there you go... now you'se a teachah'. Now, they have all these Credentialing Programs that won't accept courses from more than 6 years ago, so if you're an experienced (old!) teacher (especially from outside of the State), you have to take all these courses over again, to prove, I guess, that you so desperately want to teach that you'll pay the money, take the time away from your family, and take the courses over and over again. Man, that's a slippery slope for losing good people. I really don't see this happening in other professions, particularly not in the Construction Industry, which you know I looove. People wouldn't put up with it. They might even protest. Quietly.

I'm not saying that I don't believe in Professional Development, because I do. Nothing worse than a stagnant teacher... not good for the students, and not good for the teacher, either. But making teachers pay for courses that are very expensive, when they are already not nearly as well paid as many of the other professions, and making them feel like they will be out of the job if they don't comply immediately, well, that just spells disaster. I hope this is something that can be remedied before we lose too many good teachers. I gotta say, Thank God I came down here to California with 'Building Money' (money made from Real Estate and building houses), or the financial hardship from a teacher's salary would have been too much for me.

Okay, all that said, I love, love, love my job, and do not want to leave my students (Special Ed. is one of the most fulfilling jobs on the planet...according to me!), or my school, so I'm more than willing to do whatever it takes to stay in my Teaching Position. And in California, which I also love. I'm just gonna plug away at it, and hopefully get all the work done that I'm being asked to do, then hope for the best. My Mother has a Scottish saying, and I've mentioned it before on the site, but it bears repeating here, since I'm pretty sure it applies to me, right now, and possibly to you, too, my lovely (and incredibly good looking) Reader... "What's for ye'll no' go by ye." I know, the 'ye' thing looks weird to me, too, but I'm trying to write it so you'll say it with a Scottish Accent. (Think of Mike Myers, with Shrek, or Fat Bastard, whichever one you remember the most! haha!) In translation, it's "If it's good for you, or meant for you, it won't go past you, so don't stress about it. Do your very best, and let things unfold before you." It's a good way to keep yourself grounded, when you're not sure what your next step might be.

Well, I hope I haven't been too controversial, today... hmmm. Hey, did I tell you that me and da kids all bought those Razor Scooters, and take them out on the beach path all the time? Yep. Me, too! Those things are sooo much fun! You know what's funny? I saw a Dad walking his two young children to school on my way to work, last week, and the two kids were on their scooters, happy as clams, wheelin' away. The Dad was walking along, all normal and adult-like, and all I could think of was how funny it wouldda been if he had been on his scooter, too, with the three of them scooting along. God Knows what Cara, Aidan and I look like when we're on our scooters... Cara and Aidan looking all regular, and crazy me scooting along beside them, laughing and laughing. Ah, well. That's what makes our lives so much fun - we don't live by no rules, man! Age, schmage. Keep immaturity alive, I says! Is that the Fountain of Youth? Just keep doing whatever you love, and it's all good? I'll let you know when I'm 80, racing along the beach on my scooter!

Thanks for popping by for a wee visit. You know I love to see you. Thanks for the Keg o' Beer. Really, you couldda just brought a Case, and I would love you just the same. (Well, that's probably true..) Sorry I didn't share it with you, right now, but I'm saving it for myself for a little bit later. Or what if I get a Date, and he seems a little bit thirsty? I might need it for that, right? That's why I didn't share. I know, that was a little bit selfish. The next time you bring a Box o' Wine (Red is my favorite, in case you're taking notes), fer sures me will share it with you. After all, you brought it, and I'm just tryin' to make it fair... oh, I know how we can make it even for you... I'll ride my scooter around, and you can laugh and laugh, too, that way we'll be drinkin' and laughin'... it'll be soo much fun! Canny wait for the next time! See ya, Baby!! Ailsa

The best way to get the word out about a new Website is by 'Word of Mouth', or in our case, by e-mail! I'd love it if you dropped a line to your Friends & Family about www.buildyourownhouse.ca . Yo. Tanks, eh! Ailsa

April 1st, 2007. Hey, Shexy. How yoush doin', 'aday, hmmm? No, I not been drinkin'. Sheesh. So judgemental. And angry, or just pouty? I'll go with pouty, since that sounds like a lot more fun... hahaha! Okay, enough of that crazy talk. I have no idea why you started that. Or why you keep going back to it. I'm thinkin' a little bit o' therapy might do you some good. Me, too. Hey, let's go together, show 'em what crazy really looks like. Come on, it'll be fun, then we can laugh and laugh about it for years to come, and we don't even gotta change the story of our fun day at da therapists, 'cause ain't we tryin' to avoid change ovah' he-ah? I know I is. Was? Oh, verbs. They is tricky, all right.

So I've totally, like, totally, had it wit' California, what with it's beautiful beaches and it's beautiful peoples and it's endless list of fun things to do. Yep. I'm done. I'm out, Baby. Just bought me some Land in Nor'dern Canada... The N.W.T., as the cool (read: cold) folks up North might call it. I think it's pronounced 'Newt', but I have no idea why they wouldda left out the 'E', but we ain't all great spelllers, an', I knows that. Do you know how much land you can buy in NEWT for a quarter?? And, no, I don't mean a Quarter Million, I mean an actual quarter! Yeah, I don't really know, neither, but let's just say when they tell you it's gonna cost you a pretty penny for a piece o' land up there in da tundra, they ain't kiddin', so start saving all your pennies and meet me up there. Der. Geey-awd, gotta start learnin' der language.

I've already drawn out my Spec House. I'm goin' Traditional on this next build. Shaped like an Igloo, which is what everyone lives in up there, if I remember anything form the Seventies... and all those bricks of snow I carefully cut out in my backyard when I was a kid. The only tricky bit is when you get to the 'roof', then there's a slight and incessant problem with the roof 'caving in', and by caving in, I mean I never did figure out how to curve the damn wall up to the roof and actually close it over. My Great Hope is that the ice and snow is easier to work with up der. (See how I'm catching on, already? I'm sure to be a hit wit' da Locals...) Wonder how much a Block of Ice goes for, if you get it where they make it? Wholesale Prices, I'se a-hopin'. Could you go cinder block, pour some water on it and glaze it over to look like ice? Hmmm. I gots all kinds of important construction questions like that.

Well, I better get to packin'. Aaand, I better load up on carbs and fat if I'm gonna put on those extra layers of blubber I've heard so many great things about. Sounds cozy. You could cuddle right up to yourself, and you'd still be warm. Or so I'm guessing. Luckily, I've got a little head-start on the whole whale-crossed-with-a-human thing, so those last three bags of chips turned out to be a Good Idea, after all. Yeah, I knew that would work out for me. Stooopid nay-sayers, with their 'Quit eating so much junk' speeches. Puh-leease. Who's laughing, now, huh?? It be me!

Okay, you know I gots ta bounce, Baby. Baby-Cakes. Ooooh, that reminds me -- must buy more cake! Happy April Fools Day, My Favorite Little Buttercup! Mmmmm, buuuutter.... an' I like cups, too. Cups an' cups o' butter, so it's all good! (Will you bring more cake? And you know what goes with cake? That's right, you guessed it, 'cause you's so smart... Beer. A delicious combo often found in the classiest eateries. Remind me to take you there, one day. We'll have beer. We'll eat cake. It's a guaranteed Good Time! hahaha!) Go have some fun on April Fools Day, you cute little Trickster!! Oh, and stop by my Igloo anytime... but No Smoking. I haven't figured out how to prevent a meltdown, so-to-speak, of my lovely new life! hahaha! Ailsa

Sunday, March 25th (is that right??), 2007... Oooh, who's been neglectful of her very own site, me wonders... is ay me? (You have to say that with an overly inquisitive tiny little voice!) Well, in my defense, I've sorta been busy. Doin' nuthin' but some celebrating, recovering from said celebrating, dealing with the aftermath also from former celebrating, and that brings me to this very weekend. There. Did you buy that? haha! So here's what I've learned about a fairly large number of folks who may or may not live in the Greater Los Angeles Area (see how I skillfully covered myself from getting into even more trouble, right there with the may or may not line? Oh, I'm feelin' tricky, tonight!): they have a tendency to maneuvre around the truth like it's up for debate. Now, I've lived in a lot of places, and this is a characteristic that seems to be more prevalent here than pretty much anywhere else I've ever been.

What would be the underlying reason for an entire percentage of the population to feel like the truth is mutable; something to be played with, hmmm? My guess is the Weather, since it's like perma-summer down here, and people like to be a little bad in da summer. (I know that from the movie, Grease, and some particularly bad behaviour of my own during more than a few smmers! haha!) I'm kidding about Grease, of course, since I was barely able to sit through one showing of that little ditty... hilarious that it's still going strong in so many shows and theatres. Who knew it would have that kind of staying power way back when it first came out. Who came out? Oh, no, that's not what I was talking about...

Hey, have you been watching The Amazing Race? My lovely daughter, Cara (who is almost 19 -- hard to believe I will have a 19 year old and a 7 year old -- don't hate me because of my careful planning! haha!), tapes it on that DVR thing that I loove (like TiVo, only it came with the Direct TV), then we can watch it at our leisure. That show is hilarious, what with the incredibly annoying "Too Hot to Handle" girls, Myrna and Charla. What language is Myrna speaking, that she feels no need to use verbs? Those crazies. Entertaining, though. Love that the gay couples are so open, and there are no more issues about that ... how many years did that take to come this far? My favourites are Luchena and Joyce (is that right?), the Pretty Blondes (Dustin & the other one -- are they really interchangeable?), and the two guys from Cuba, Danny and Oswald. So funny. Oooh, and so is Rob Cordry's new show, The Winner. We were sad to see him leave The Daily Show, but now that we see what he's been up to, it's all good!

OMG, you gotta go rent Jenny McCarthy's Dirty Love. She takes the phrase, "Oh My God" to a whole new level in this movie, and it's really hilarious. And while you're looking for really funny movies, check out Let's Go To Prison. Cara and I laughed ourselves silly through the whole thing. And for goodness sake, watch the Uncut Version... I'm sure it's waay funnier than the one made for the theater. (See how I just spelled theater like one day I might be an American?? haha! Right now, it ain't lookin' good for that, so I'll switch my spelling back and forth between American and Canadian until I know whether I can/want to stay... I'll definitely keep youse posted.. now was that international for 'youse'? Coffee shop girls around the world will be nodding their heads with a resounding, "Yep, she right.").

So I am on month eight of renting, and the first few months were okay, but now I hate it. We moved into this incredible, luxury apartment complex, drawn in by the gorgeous pool and three hot tubs, and for the past five months, the pool and two hot tubs have not been operational. Hate it, now. Sucks being a renter, because not only is it a massive amount of money down the drain with nothing to show for it at the end of the year, but you can't just go fix whatever problem comes up. You have to wait for some loser company to agree that it is a problem, then some other idiot has to finally sign the papers to fix the damn thing. I figure that for $25,000 a year, you outta have a functional swimming pool, so now I'm all bitter and mad, and have nowhere to swim. Hmmmph. (That's me, all moody! hahaha)

On the upside of this place, though, they do have a good gym, so I pop over every day. Well, not every day, that seems excessive. But I have been there, and know how to find the place, again... haha! No, I like going to the gym a lot. Good stress relief, and this seems to be a high-stress time in my life. One thing I don't quite get when I'm at the gym, though, are the people you see all the time who can't bring themselves to break a smile. What's that about? Extra strength? I'm way too into my workout to smile? Puhleease. You can have a great workout and still be friendly. I am down another couple of sizes, so that's great. Looove that. Wish I could get more women into the gym and get them on the weight machines, so they could get into whatever shape they like. Ladies, if you're heading to da gym, spend a small amount of time on the walking/running/cycling machines (only if you really want to... I don't do these, at all), do some nice stretches, and make your way through the weight machines. You'll see an enormous difference in a few weeks, and if you keep at it, an incredible difference in a few months.

It's late, now, and here I have to get up at 5:00 am. See, if I lived in Canada, maybe I wouldn't have to get up 'til 6:ish... and, no, not because they'se slower up der.... in da North. Because maybe I wouldn't have to leave the house so early... or at all... hmmm. And I could build something, again. Maybe... oooh, how many 'maybe's does it take to help me make up me mind?? haha! Okay, I gots ta go. Thanks for popping in for a wee vist! Tell yo' friends (really, I don't care whether you like tham all that much...! haha). See ya next time! Love, Piece (of chocolate, or something) & Happiness, Ailsa

Sunday, February 25th, 2007. Man oh man, it's been a long time since I've been in here! What was I thinking to wait soooo very long?? Mostly, I've been thinking about how I can stay in America, whether I should stay in California, and how to come to terms with the whole thing... but that's enough about me, what's been happening wit' YOU?? You look great in those sparkly pantyhose, by the way. They're not for everybody, but they definitely look good on you. Not sure why you're wearing them under your jeans, but, hey, who's gonna fight with you to take them off, anyway, right? Yeah, I'm totally right.

So it's Oscar Night, and we had to stop and start it, thanks to the incredible miracle of DVR, which I looove, and must make sure I can get if we do end up going back to Canada... now it's my favourite new Luxury Item. So, speaking as an immigrant 'n all, wasn't there an awful lot of foreign-language stuff on there, tonight? Am I the only one who longed for someone easy to understand, or is that just wrong to say out loud? What the hell... I think I've been saying the wrong thing for quite a few years now. Let's see... I'll be 44 this March, started to speak around 2, I'm guessing -- who can remember that far back -- so that's, what? 40 odd years of blurting things out? I'm giving myself the benefit of the doubt in those early years, since some children just don't know what they're saying... chances are really high I was one of those l'il chilluns! haha!

I was glad to see that Little Miss Sunshine won some awards, though, since that movie was hilarious. One of my favourites, this year. You know what else we saw this year that is a bit old, but new to me? Craig Ferguson's, The Big Tease. Fuuuuunnnnny, funny, funny. We laughed so hard, we had tears rolling down our cheeks... I had to order it through Blockbuster Online, but you can order it through Netflix or any of the other companies who send the Movies in the mail. It's like a precursor to Sasha Baron Cohen's Borat, which I also loved... only a Scottish Version of the Documentary style film. And did you happen to catch Sasha Baron Cohen's (Ali G) girlfriend at the Oscars (hopefully the same one he would have at home.. hahaha!)? She was gooorjus -- pretty sure that's how you spell that.

And speaking of spelling and all matters of English, I passed the giant CSET Exam I mentioned with great bitterness, before. Oh, I'm lovely, what with the cynacism, bitterness and some loathing thrown in... where all da mens be at, me wonders?? Makes no sense at all that I am all alone in my little, ludicrously expensive, home... but I digress. They told me it was Test Suicide to attempt all four sections of the test on the same day, but I'm only here for a year if I don't pass the damn thing, so I tooks me chances, and there you go. Also, I happened to have been told two days before the test, that it wouldn't count at all, so no point in me taking it. Hhmmph, I thought. (I'm just that dramatic. All full of big words like 'hhmmph', 'n all. I'm not trying to make you jealous with my fancy vocabulary, or nuthin'...) So I went into the test, mad at how things were working out, but with very little pressure, except that I didn't want to waste the time I had spent studying for said test, and the $300. the thing cost me. Plus, I'm pretty sure that at some point in the future, someone else will tell me I need to have it, so it's done, now. Good.

Oh, and did you get through the dreaded Valentine's Week? I was gonna write about it during the week, but guess who was all angry and crazy all week? That's right! You guessed it on your very first try! Why, it was Me! You know me so well, and I love for that. Not anybody else, but just you. 'Cause you'se my favourtie. Your much nicer than all the rest, and better looking, too, and you know how important that is to me. Ranks right up there with cleanliness. Or a heavy deodorant. Whatever comes first. I've lowered the bar significantly, in order to make things seem a bit better! hahahaha! (Okay, that one was just for my own amusement...) So I can't stand that crap week because the first part of da Valentine's Week is taken up with wondering how the particular people you are involved with (now is the plural acceptable, there?? People instead of Person? Or Sheep, which is also plural, and presents a whole series of other troubling questions, but is still a favourite old Engineering Joke?) are gonna come through on Valentine's Day. And then the actual crappy Valentine's Day, in which many things can happen that are just bizarre, that wouldn't happen any other day, then the following days when there is much scambling to undo or make up for all the mess caused on V-Day. Ugh. Good week to skip completely. Must remember for next year, although, as a hopeless (hapless?) romantic, maybe things will be nicer, next year, and I'll like the day... ah, the delusions. They're really keeping me going...

Now what was that tip I had for you, today, hmm? Who can remember what I was thinking a mere hour ago? Not me, that's fer sures. Oh, yeah. Here's a little Recycling Tip, which Al Gore will thank you for... an easy way to recycle your Grocery Store Bags, if you have a normal garbage can, ball up the bags and put them on the bottom of a nice sized garbage bin, then just take one from the balled up section to line the top of the Bin. I jam millions of shopping bags into the bottom of our garbage under the sink, so I never have to search for a fresh garbage bag, again. Oh, I know you're happy to discover this little trick. Watch out, Planet. Here we come! Oh, and recycle all those Beer Bottles, too. I know you've got a lot! haha!

Okay, I gots to roll. That's how I roll. I like rolls. Something like that. This local vernacular takes time to learn... I'll talk to you waaay sooner than the last time, I promise! I'll let you know how my 44th year is going, when I get there! Thanks for popping by for a wee visit!

> Hey, sounds like some good stories, and you how I loves me a good story! haha! I found my place through Apartment.com while I was in my bedroom in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and here we are in Beautiful Los Angeles, California, now... and it was the only place we looked at, too, because it was sooo pretty. Apartment.com is an excellent place to start your search... then don't forget to start putting yer money away for a Downpayment on a house! I've got mine stashed away until we know whether we're gonna stay here for more than a year... I'll let you know!

Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007. Happy New Year, Baby!! How is you, with your fiiiine self?? All lovely, 'n all... (I had to do some 'self-censorship, here, if you've been in already and were sure there was something else written, here... can't take any chances, so felt it was best to remove some slightly bitter writing! But no worries, I'm sure I'll have plenty more things to be bitter about in no time... hahaha!)

So did you have a fabulous New Years Night?? This is a weird year for me, now that I'm Single, 'n all. Tricky to figure out the holidays, so spent it alone with my little guy, Aidan. Quiet, reflective (until after the second glass of wine, then not so terribly reflective... think you know where I'm goin' with that...!). Must make better decisions in the new year. Must try to make better decisions in the new year, fer sures. There. See how easy New Years Resolutions are to make? A snap. Or, as they say down here in L.A., "Oh, snap!". I think it means, "Oh, yes, that is significant", if you're in need of a translation...

I think this needs to be a year when I try to focus in on what brought me to Los Angeles, and why I felt I needed to be here soooo very badly. I don't want to just give it 6 months, take my ball and go home... gotta remember how cold it is in Canada, and how lovely the beach is down here. Think I will Google the Scottish-American Society, if there is one, in L.A., and maybe meet a few more Scots. Now that would be nice. Or just move to Scotland, where there are lots and lots of Scottish People... hmmmm. But where does Building figure into all of this, me wonders? And what about all of me new furniture 'n stuff? (What if this question is on the Exam??) So much to consider...

It is fun to have a gym right in my Apartment Complex, but as always, hate renting. Seems so crazy, but a necessary evil for the time-being. I'm supposed to get some confirmation on my Work Visa status in February or March, so that'll help in my decision-making process. Then it's be down to a two choices: Here or There. Or 'Which There'? On the upside, I have Choices, and that's a Good Thing. Good to have a few game plans, just in case one (or all for them) won't work, then you can just go down yer list 'til you find one that does work, or come up with a whole New Plan ... and includes at least a Renovation, if not an entire Build, right? Man, that's never gonna get out of my system... Thankfully!

Aidan wants me to make bugs with his new 'Creepy Bug Maker'. Looove all these hilarious 'boy toys', what with the creepy-this and transformer-that. He's lovin' the American prices on all these toys, too... so now he has a whole new collection like never before... and if you're a long-time Reader (and I thank you for that!), you might be wondering how my daughter, Cara, is doing. She's having a great time in L.A., but we need to figure out how to change her Visitor's Visa over to a Work Visa, so Cara can work here, too. Then we'll all feel a whole lot more settled. (I could rename my website: 'Immigrant's Quest' -- oooh, dat's catchy!haha!)

Okay, I gotta go make some plastic bugs! And find a Chinese Place that delivers, for Bug-Makin' night... I hope you have an amazing year in 2007, and that things happen that you hadn't even foreseen that make your life incredibly wonderful. Great Things are always right around the corner, so we'll all keep trekking forward, peeking around every corner (hope that's not gonna look too weird! haha!) to see what's up ahead! Have Fun and See you soon! Love, Laughter & Perhaps a Bottle of Wine?? You know you're my Favourite!! Ailsa

Sunday, December 9th, 2006. Yo, yo. Wat up, wat up wit' you, my favorite of all my Readers?? Ooooh, you're lookin' hot today! Crazy hot! Have you been working out? Just thinking about it, and look at the results, already?? Man, the Power of Positive Thought, eh? Totally works! hahaha! So, as usual, all sorts of interesting developments these days... this morning I need to create a 'Singles Page' just to show some folks what I look like, now that I'm single 'n all... funny! Whodda thunk that, hmmm? And yesterday we went to this cool Indoor Yardsale at Tori Spelling's house, and Aidan (my little 7 year old, if youse new to the site) had a great long conversation with her new husband, Dean McDermott (sp? I'll go check it in a minute...). Lovely guy, and wouldn't you know it, he's Canadian, too. Cara was very, very excited about seeing Tori Spelling, since she's a huuge fan of 90210. Cool house, too. Nice area up in the Hills with tons of trees. Lots of fun!

So I had an opportunity to go on a walk-through of a house that is under construction around the corner from my school. I'm lucky enough to be able to take my students out into the community as part of their 'Real Life' training, so we've been walking by this new home for a number of months, now. I'm amazed at how quickly a large home can be built down here -- you save massive amounts of time (and money) by skipping the basement.... I'm assuming they had a poured concrete subfloor, but now that I think of it, it's entirely possible that they may have had a 4 foot area excavated and just built a regualr wooden sub-floor... must ask the next time I go over. I took a bunch of pictures, and they wanted me to put them on here, so I'll need to make them a special page, too. Lots of work to do!

Anyway, this new house under construction is about 3500 square feet, has a 30 foot Cathedral Ceiling across the whole stretch of the house, with a beautiful open Loft Office... made me miss my beautiful office from my old house that you've all seen... I'm gonna go back and have a look at the house when it's completed. They were at that bizarre stage when a non-builder comes in and wants to know when on earth the house will be done, but any regualr builder knows you're at 95% completion, and it'll only be another couple of whirlwind weeks. Those last two weeks are always the craziest, because their is sooo much activity in the house.

Cara and I went to Comedy Central's Last Laugh 2006 with Lewis Black, last Sunday,and it airs tonight on Comedy Central at 10:00 pm -- check yer local listings, as usual... sooo funny! The guy from King of Queen's was hilarious, and the other big comedian (you'd think I'd go look up their names, and I will, probably), was hysterical, too. Hope they leave in all the bad bits! They're always the best. Look for Cara and I in the audience -- two blondes sitting together, laughing!

Okay, I gots to go. Need to go make that page, 'All About Me'... haha! Thanks for popping in for a wee visit! I hope you're enjoying the whole Holiday Experience... oh, that reminds me... holidays aren't fun and games for everyone -- you know there's always that obnoxious you-know-what you have to deal with, so you might like to have a wee read at my article I wrote all about how to deal with difficult people. I've left those difficult folks behind, but wouldn't you bloody know there's always a new one to take their place?? haha! Here it is, How to Deal with Difficult People. See you soon, Baby! Love, Laughter, & pleny of presents! Ailsa

Sunday, November 19th, 2006. Hello, My Pretties... too reminiscent of a bunch of flying monkeys, you say?? haha! Okay, Hello, Me Lovelies! Better? Only a couple of monkeys in that reference? Man, oh, man, cannot believe how much time has flown by since I've been in here, last. Lots of stuff has happened, but finding the time to write (you have to sober up first, so that's time consuming in and of itself, as I'm sure you knows fer yourself...)... I know, that's the same excuse I've used a gazillion times, but you know how I loves me a little exageration -- makes every story you make up all that much better!

Okay, so can't think of any actual Building stuff I've done lately, except for discussing people's various Renovation Projects (yessss, makes me all jealous 'n all...why can I no' have a nice wee house to renovate, hmmm? Because of the lack of permanency in my life and the insane real estate prices in L.A.?? haha!), so on to the personal stuff... not toooo personal, so if you're reading this and you actually know me and now you're all worried about what I'ma gonna say, ree-laaaax. It'll be a while before I say anything about that... hahaha!

So Cara and I went to see our favorite Comedian, Jim Gaffigan, last night -- he was playing at The Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles... such a beautiful theater! Jim Gaffigan is sooooo funny, we laughed ourselves silly through the whole show. If you ever hear he's coming to your town, give yersel' a wee treat and go see him -- he's hilarious! And sooo personable, too. Jim was in the Lobby of the Wiltern to sign autographs and talk to his fans after the show, and he stayed to talk to every single fan, which is really, really nice. Cara and I got to talk with Jim, and he remembered me from my website (yep, the one youse reading right now... or later, depending on the speed of youse brain), so that was fun, and then we had our pictures taken with him, too. I'll post them asap. I'll try to do that tomorrow... Anyway, it was a great night, and we both had a great time. And only three small fights -- that ain't bad...!

We also went to see The Craig Ferguson Show, because I loooove Craig (or used to, and possibly might again, but I'm mad right now...) and we were invited especially as VIP Guests (I'm guessing for our charm and short skirts...), so I hired a babysitter and Cara and I headed to the CBS Studio Lot on my only day off... To make a relatively long and somewhat dull story shorter, we ended up not even getting into the Show! That totally suuuucks. We was maaaad, except that we got to sit beside these unbelievably good-looking Danish guys ('Great Danes', I think they wanted to be called... of course, we were immediately compliant...seemed only reasonable, given the circumstances-- they were truly fine specimens -- see the word 'mens' is right in that word!). Anyhooo (yes, this is the short version! haha!), we told them we were going over to The Grove at the Farmer's Market (at 3rd & Fairfax in L.A.) to see Borat, and would they like to join us, so we all ended up in the same theater to watch my favorite Sacha Baron Cohen in Borat. Hilarious! We laughed ourselves silly, which we have been doing a lot of, lately, so that's a good sign, ain't it??

I'm waiting for more peoples I know to go see Borat so I can make a whole lot more 'High Five' jokes... more than I currently make, and just laugh all by myself... and, yes, I am still Single, but I'm not completely sure why you would bring that up at this particular juncture in the conversation... hmmm. Actually, it's pretty funny being Single, again. I never really thought of myself that way, since I have the kids, and my life just seems more 'stream-lined', now, given that I don't have to hassle with anyone over anything... oooh, that niiice. (Plllleeease say that like Borat -- you know I am! haha!) I think I've been out more with a nice variety of people (no, not all dates... that's a whole other type of story, and, most likely, fictictious! haha!), and have been to more places than in my entire marriage. Oh, I'm making marriage sound as wonderful as it really is... how did Single ever get a bad rap? I'm havin' a great time! Grrreat Success! I have my own lightbulb an' everything.

Okay, so I have to get up ridiculously early, so gots to go... see you sooner than usual, though, since really gonna put up those pictures from the Jim Gaffigan Concert! Fer sures, eh! (See, still a Little Canadian...) Thanks for clicking in to see me! You know how I feel about you. You're my favorite. See you soon, Baby! Love, Laughter & Some Seriously Good Wine, Ailsa Oh, and if you're in the States, Happy Thanksgiving!!

Sunday, October 22nd, 2006. Hey, Baby!! Baaabbeeee. Come on, now. You know I'm still talkin' to you... how close are we, now? This close! We can tell each other pretty much everything, right? You want me to go first? Well, okay... this relationship's gettin' a little one-sided, no? So I went out to a Sushi Bar on Friday night, and guess who hates sushi?? That's right -- it me. Me hate it. Yuck. Hope never to eat that, again. And I tried a lot more of it than I planned to have -- almost one whole piece -- luckily, most of it fell off my chopsticks -- and they say chopsticks ain't practical (I'm sorry, that was me who said that...). Not completely sure if there was some sort of date thing happening there, too... most likely not, but that's a Bad Sign if you can't tell whether you're on a date or not, right?? ha,ha,ha,ha! (You know I think that's really funny! I'm laughin' here all by meself...) Thought it was gonna be some sort of group thing, but turned out to be 2 guys, 2 girls (goils at this time of year, what with Halloween approaching, 'n all...). Hmmmm. Fun to write about, though. Not food to eat (ick), but good food for my writing! ha,ha! (How many peoples gonna be mad at me now that I'm single and don't get the whole date thing?? ha,ha!)

I just colored my hair, this morning. In case you're wondering (and really, who wouldn't?), I use L'Oreals U-R-43 Grey-Be-Gone... think that's the right name. I know that's what I call it! ha,ha! My choices for natural color, now, are grey with some black, or blonde, so blonde it is! No, no. I've been a blonde by choice since I was 26, so how long is that? More than 10 years, already?? Must have naturalized into the blonde personality, since I couldn't do the math from 26 years old aaallll the way up to 43! ha,ha! Whatevah'. Who has time for math, hmmm?

So I've been crazy-busy, lately, what with being Single 'n all... no, I'm kidding. Being Single gives me a surprising amount of Free Time -- time that I would have had to spend cleaning and cooking... and now I can do that when I feel like it, not according to anyone else's plan. It's great. Freedom is not over-rated! I went to this Youth Football Game a couple of weeks, ago. Hilarious to watch these tiny little guys in their Football Uniforms! My little guy, Aidan, who turned 7 in September, won't be big enough until next year to play football, but I really loved these teams, so now, of course, I want to help them to raise some money. Everyone else is in the stands watching the game, and I'm in the stands asking questions about how much money they have to support their teams... that's just me. Can't help it. Got a Good Cause? Tell me all about it, I'll see what I can do to help...

Anyway, to make a relatively long story short, I volunteered to re-do their website and to raise some money for them, so I'm hoping my wonderful, extremely generous (that's what I'm telling everybody you're like...!) Readers will pass along my little Fundraising Letter to any Big Company or Corporation you think might like to make a Tax-Deductible Donation to this Youth Football Association. I think what I'll do is create a Thank You page on my site (www.buildyourownhouse.ca), and make a nice Sponors page on the new site for the Youth Football Association. Might as well use all the great connections I've made over the years with my site to help out a nice bunch of kids.

Just so's you know, the kids are between 5 and 14, and the Girls' Cheerleading starts at 5 years old (yes, incredibly sweet with their little tiny cheerleading outfits on), and the boys start playing football at 7 -- so cute in their Football Uniforms! The kids work really hard, and the Coaches and Support People are all volunteers from the Community. They put in lots of time -- now they just need more money, so if you know anyone who might like to give a little something, please pass along my Fundraising Letter. Thank you! You know you're my favorite! (Oh, and if you would like to make a Personal Donation, every dollar counts and adds up quickly, so any amount is a great amount! Remember what happened with Oprah's Angel Network? That started with coins, so imagine what we could do with dollars?? ha,ha! The kids'll have new Helmets in no time!)

Okay, so I gots ta' bounce, Baby. Think we're going to see if this thing at The Grove by the Farmer's Market in L.A. is a band or a puppet group... could go either way, since they are called, 'Scott Land Marionettes'. Who can resist a name like that, especially if you happen to have a huuuge connection with Scotland, like meself?? Aaaand, Cara and I really like the Preztel-Weiner-on-a-stick fancy lunch that they have, too... nuthin' but the best for us now that we can eat Carny Food and no one's gonna hassle us about it! ha,ha,ha!

Thanks for swingin' by for a wee visit! See you soon! Are you bringing the beer next time, 'cause I'm down to my last twenty cases... :) Love, Laughter & Weiners-on-a-stick, Ailsa<

Saturday, October 7th, 2006. Hi, Honey! You're Home, again, and I'm glad to see you, as always. I'm wondering why your hands are all covered in chocolate? I know, it can be time consuming to lick them all off before you sit down to the computer... maybe just do your two typing fingers, and leave it at that. Only a matter of minutes (seconds?? ha,ha!) before they're all covered in chocolate, again, anyway... not to worry. Hey, is that wine on yer chin? Forget about it. You already have? Good. Let's move on...

So I finally got my California Driver's License... man, thought that was never gonna happen. For some bizarre reason, when I went to take my Driving Test the last time, I pulled my car forward to the testing area, turned on my Right turning indicator, and the damn thing started blinking like mad. The girl at the DMV wouldn't let me take the test, even though I think I might have begged... ah, well. Maybe the Universe was on my side, secretly (as always!) because when I went in to do the Driver's test last week, I got my licence and met someone really good looking... hmmm. Oh, California's a lot of fun! ha,ha,ha! It's like Good Looking People (I think that term is Capitalized, ain't it??) seem to be everywhere. Maybe the good-looking folks in Canada were just all covered up with their Sheepskins! ha,ha!

Do I sound cheery? Yes, totally thrilled to be almost done with the DMV... but got home on Friday to find yet another document from them about some issues with having a Canadian Car. Right. Maybe because I'm from CANADA... whatevah'. I'm trying to look at these little complications as trials to overcome to live the way I really want to... plus, the Strawberry Daiquiris are sooo cheap here, they can really smooth out a few of the particularly rough moments. I can't stop buying these little 4-packs of these tasty wee treats, so now my whole cupboard is full of them. Enough for a Christmas Party, which I think I'll have even though we are now in a teensy space, compared to our last giant house... might see if a couple of our neighbours want to do an 'Apartment Crawl Christmas Party'... sounds festive, don't it? ha,ha!

It seems that almost everyone I meet is working on their house in some way or another. You know I love a Renovation Story! It's bizarre for me to be renting... I look forward to having some confirmation on my U.S. Work Visa being extended for another two years so I can go ahead and buy something. Not a big fan of the Renting thing. I love it, here,though. We were down at the Pool & hot tub, tonight... gorgeous! The Full Moon over the Palm Trees is magnificant. Last night, Cara, Aidan and I were down at the pool (yes, we go every day... what Canadian can resist a swimming pool, regardless of the temperature?), and the craziest thing happened. My bathing suit literally started to unravel, if you will, right there in the Hot Tub. I am particularly fond of the really heavy jets, and I think I might have caused the disintegration of my favorite black bathing suit... Cara was calling me 'Elephantina' for a laugh, since the whole thing dissolved into a pile of wrinkles! (Hope that doesn't actually happen to myself! ha,ha! That's why Lubriderm is tied around my neck...)

Oh, and we went to a taping of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Man, looove him. Yum. Sooo good looking. Hilarious, too (as if that's secondary! ha,ha,ha!). We laughed ourselves silly, and The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson tapes on the CBS Lot, which is right beside The Farmer's Market at 3rd & Fairfax in Los Angeles, so Cara and I scored a fun lunch in there, first. We didn't see any Celebrities, this time (outside of the Show -- Kirsten Bell & Amos Lee were on when we were there), but we saw Calista Flockhart and Harrison Ford when we were at The Grove (gorgeous part inside the Farmer's Market) a couple of weeks ago. Always fun to see Celebrities! Oh, L.A., we love ya'!

Now that I have to get up really early and then actually leave the house, I can't stay up late enough for The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, so we have it taped to DVR so I can watch him whenever an opportunity might arise... anyhooo, I think a great phrase for Craig Ferguson to use on his show would be,"DVR Me, Baby", in his lovely Scottish Accent! All the women across North America'll be checkin' him out! ha,ha! Loooove the DVR -- it's the coolest invention, ever. Right up there with our cool new toaster with the 'Egg Maker Option' that kinda works, but looks great... sounds like some people I know! ha,ha!

I've gotta get my camera all set, again (can't find the wires to connect it to the computer...), so I can show you some cool Before & After photos of some of the properties I've seen lately. Hey, we could add that feature to my site -- if you have some great Before & After pictures, send them along. I'm working to see if I can get that Side Navigation Bar on my site (the same thing I've been trying to do since 'Site-Conception', so-to-speak!), to make Site Navigation a lot easier. I'm crazy-busy these days, but if you have any interesting (as opposed to hideously dull...) ideas for my site, by all means send them along to me.

Almost forgot... someone wrote to me not all that long ago (within the last month) to ask me if I really did lose that weight with my Apple Crumble Diet, and do I really do the 'Anti-Cellulite Exercises'? The answer is yes on both counts, and we have have a great gym here at our Apartment Complex, so I do the Cellulite Exercises whenever I go to the gym. I'm back up to a 35 pound Free Weight that I lift with my feet (oooh, sounds glamourous, me knows!), but it is the most effective excercise I've ever come across to get rid of any cellulite that happens to be floating around back there... pop into my Exercise pages if you want to see how to add some simple exercises to your life that will make a big difference in shaping your body. (Round into not-so-round... that be my goal! ha,ha,ha!)

Okay, I gots to go. We good?? Good. You know how I feel about you. Shhhh. Don't tell the others. That infighting is annoying, not to mention the noise. Go finish yer chocolate. I won't look, if you are using both hands, now. :)

See you soon, Baby! Love, Laughter & Plenty 'o Chocolate, Ailsa xox (surely we know each other well enough for that, now, don't we?? ha,ha,ha!)

Oh, hey. I bought a new Hallowe'en Costume, this year. I was gonna go as a Freudian Slip, since I think that's really funny (Black sexy slip with Freud written across it... fun and funny, much like meself! ha,ha,ha!). I happened upon a Wonder Woman Costume, and really, that's perfect for me, what wit' da Thigh High Boots, 'n all... maybe I can get a picture of that to put on the site... wish me luck finding the right wires, which you know I struggle with!

Friday, September 15th, 2006. Hey, Baby! What up wit' yer bad self, hmmm? What's that? You don't understand why I would say you are 'bad', when you only went down that slippery slope of seemingly appropriate behaviour a few times, yesterday, and how did I even know about that? Well, that's a lot of questions, and let me just say that I am happily assuming you gots yerself a 'bad self', and perhaps that's how you found me in the first place -- am I right?? ha,ha!

Man, I am sooo sorry it has taken me so long to get back in here for my updates... I've been a little busy restructuring my life -- sounds like 're-stucco-ing', if that's a real word... it's late and mostly I'm thinking about Survivor! You know how much I love Survivor (and now, not just so I can look at a beach when it's minus 30 outside -- now I live 10 minutes from the actual ocean, and I'ma totally loving that! Yippee!!). Love it. Big, giant Social Experiments like the one that's going on with Survivor, right now, appeal to me, plus, I happen to enjoy checking out the buff bodies ... who knew I could work 'Buff' into that sentence?? ha,ha! Love those Survivor Buffs! Anyhooo, what's your take on the whole 'division by race' thing? Bit disconcerting, don't you think? Hope there are no negative ramifications to that. Definitely interesting to watch. I hope to God that we are all far enough evolved to see that people divide up according to personality, male/female, personal interests, age... all sorts of things that bring people together and tear folks apart. Gonna be an interesting ride...

Okay, so I am now completely settled into living in L.A., and man, do I love it! Aaaaah, I feel right at home here... ever had a place where you are just drawn to it, and feel completely relaxed and happy when you get there? That's how I feel about Los Angeles. I have a fantastic apartment, which I have decorated beautifully (really happy with all the new furniture and artwork), and the bestest teaching job, ever -- Special Ed. C.B.I. (Community Based Instruction). My students are great, and I have the best Assistants ever, so I feel incredibly blessed. Plus, my job is very close to my new place, so I get to live in L.A. and take surface streets to get to work -- not one bit of Highway Driving!! Yahoo! How lucky is that?? If you've ever lived in a giant city, you'll be nodding right now, and if you happen to be sitting at your 'puter with a drink in your hand, perhaps you already started nodding before I even got to that part... yuff, yuff!

Better get to bed -- early mornings, these days! I hope you're having a great time in your life, too, and if you are struggling with something, think of what you really want and go for it, Baby! That's what I did, and here I am, all happy 'n stuff!

Oh, and I'm listening to the new Justin Timberlake CD,, Futuresex/Lovesounds and it's really, really good. I'm on Track 8 (Damn Girl), and so far, every song is better than the last... not very often that the whole album (do people still say that, or I am living in the past?? ha,ha!) is great! Amazon - <Futuresex/Lovesounds >

Thanks for popping in for a wee visit! You know I love to see you! Next time won't be nearly so far away, I promise! Hugs! Ailsa

You can use this link to go straight into the Barnes & Noble site -- I buy most of my books and music through Barnes & Noble, because their prices are great and they actually ship to Canada -- I'm lovon' being able to buy stuff online that will be shipped without question now that I'm in the States! One of the many benefits!! Check the prices at Barnes & Noble for their CDs -- they always have the best deals!

Saturday, August 12th, 2006. Okay, so I'm in California. Like, totally in L.A., man. (Yep, I think that's the right way to say that... so tricky learning a new language, 'n all...) I can't tell you how exciting this whole thing is -- new Apartment, New Job, New Life... so much fun! Little trepidatious about some things, but that's easy to get past just because of the sheer volume of things I have to do to get all settled in down here. I'm lovin' L.A., though! Saw the ocean for the first time since we arrived a couple of weeks ago, and it was stunningly gorgeous -- worth all the work to get here! (Do I sound happy?? I am, and it feels good to be this happy... gleeful, if you will!)

Man, almost forgot to ask how you are doing, today. 'A-day... as in "How you doin', ah-day?" Oh, Slang. It's my favorite thing to imitate, but with my own special spin to amuse myself even more... and speaking of amusing myself even more, I gotta say that Alcohol is incredibly cheap here in the U.S., and readily available at the Grocery Store, so you can pick up the milk (if you can remember that), and all the Corona and Jugs-o-Wine that you can squeeze into yo' cart. (Guess how I know that?) And, no, for the record, I didn't buy the Meglo-Wine...but cheap Cororna? Who can resist that??

So we've been busy buying Furniture, Bedding, Dishes, Towels... I'd forgotten how much stuff you need to get just to set up a small home. I stumbled (no, this is not related to the above-mentioned cheap alcohol...) across this fantastic little Furniture Store when we were slightly lost on Overland Ave. in Culver City last Saturday morning. It's called Caprice Furniture, and it was like one-stop shopping for me, since I walked into their store and saw every piece of furniture I wanted for our new Apartment, which is fantastic, by the way... more on that, later. Anyway, I got everything in that beautiful deep Cappacino (that can't possibly be the right spelling, but it's, like, waaay past midnight, and the spelling part of me brain has already nodded off, and here I am still typing...)(Did you see how I was attempting to assimilate into the local culture with the extra 'likes'? Hmm? Good? ha,ha,ha!) Capecino. Forget it. Looks like a good portion of my brain has completely fallen asleep, and I think the rest of me wants to follow... these are exhausting days by the pool... yuff, yuff...

Okay, so I'll take some pictures of the new place and how we're decorating it as soon as I find my cameras -- surely they must be around here, somewhere... and then I just need to find the wires to force the pictures out of the camera and into my 'puter, and we're all set. Should take me less than a month, or so, depending on how many times I go to the store for milk, I suppose... har, har!

Oh, and I have never seen so many good looking people in such a small area in all my life -- and not all actors, neither! Not that being surrounded by Actors would be bad, since it's sooo much fun to meet all these Hollywood types... Uh-Kaay, gots to go... (you have to relax your mouth to really say that Valley Girl "Uh-Kay" thing, but believe me, it's well worth the effort, then you can say that in every Meeting you go to next week. Oh, your Boss is gonna looove that, and I see a Promotion in your Near Future ... I'm pretty sure.) Hey, thanks for swingin' by for a wee visit! See you soon, Bay-Beeee!

Tuesday, July 25th, 2006. Hey, there, Sweet Thaaang... That's Californian for "Why Hello There, How Ya' Doin'" in other parts of the Land... I gots to learn the Californian Lingo, 'cause I'm on my way down there to find a New Life! Yahoo!! (Too Coyboyish, with the Yahoo 'n all? That's okay, I'm still in Calgary, Alberta, but not for much longer, now...) I've been sooo coy with my hopeful little plans to create a new life for myself and my kids, and now I can finally let you in on a bit more of it... I'm going down to Los Angeles, California to look for a great Teaching Position in Special Education, my favorite, favorite Students to teach. Not that I didn't love all my other Students, 'cause I did, but Special Needs Students hold a special place in my heart (are you weeping, yet? No, just me?), so I can hardly wait to meet my new Students!

Anyway, in case you're a long-time Reader, and if you are (is??), Thank Youse. And if you're new, Welcome, welcome. All the New Readers have to bring the Wine -- I didn't make that Rule, but it does seem about right, dontcha think? So anyhooo, you might be wondering what my Marital Status will be, and yes, it's gonna change to Single Status. Maybe not right away, but in time (two weeks or so... is that the Norm?? ha,ha!). It's gonna be a different kind of Update, now. More about Renting and not-so-much about Building, on account of the insane prices of Land in Los Angeles... but who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky and find a nice little Lot in L.A. with a house I can either tear down or do a big Renovation Job on... we'll see!

In the mean-time, I'm going to look at some amazing Rental Properties ('cause I figure if I have to Rent, it oughtta be good, since I hate to throw my money away like that... you know how I love a Real Estate Investment!), so I'll let you know as soon as we secure somehting great. I'm looking in the West Los Angeles Area, since my beautiful Daughter, Cara, will be spending her days trying to break into the Entertainment Industry they call 'Hollywood' while we're there... all very exciting! We're gonna go to lots of Shows, and hang out at The Farmer's Market, which we love, love, looove!

Dwight is going to stay in 'The Transition House' (so named because I wasn't completely sure how long we would stay here in Calgary), but this is a great house... we put up some beautiful Sconces from Linens-N-Things, and I draped some lovely Window Scarfs through the Sconces, and the Windows look fantastic. Very happy with that. Now I'll have to get all new stuff for our new home, since I'm only bringing a few essentials (yes, Artwork, if it'll fit in the car! ha,ha! Oh, and a few of my very favorite Silk Plants, which sounds a bit crazy given the limited space, but I'm really, really fond of those plants...).

So crazy-busy time for us... I'll write when I can to let you know where we are, and how things are going. Oh, hey. Have you been watching Big Brother All Stars? Man, that's a funny wee Show. I looove the whole Kaysar as 'The Iraqi Peach', which is oh-so-true, since he is deeeelicious (is that a Single thought, me wonders?? ha,ha,ha!). I'm hoping Jace goes next, since he just annoys me, what with all the hair care and throwing things, which are not very good signs... Will is hard to figure out, in his declaration that he hates everyone in the house...who can be bothered with that, even if he does look good... I still love Janelle, Howie, Kaysar & Marcelas (spelling??). James, not so much. I like it best when all the in-fighting starts, and the love affairs start to sizzle -- now that's good Summer TV! ha,ha,ha!

Almost forgot about Last Comic Standing -- my two faves are Josh Blue and Ty Barnett -- sooo funny! And I still get a kick out of seeing Tim Meadows whenever he's on the Show as one of the Judges, since the day I met him at the Farmer's Market in L.A.! A Chance Meeting I hope to repeat! (Wink, wink!)

Well, I better go pack my stuff... I'm hoping you have some fabulous plans of your own for this Summer... thanks for swinging by for a wee visit! See you soon, Baby!!

< > SuperPass will once again have live video feeds from the Big Brother house for users to view 24/7. Some of the features include: NEW! Interact with other Big Brother fans in chat, message boards, and blogs
Get the first peek with 24-hour live video feeds from the house
Don't miss a thing! Watch 4 in-house cameras at once

Friday, July 14th, 2006. Hello, Gorgeous! Gooooiirgeous... how's your summer going, so far, hmmm? I hope you're having a fantastic time, and some of it doing things you might not have thought you would do... sometimes those are the best moments, right? Hey, you know what I was just watching when I am supposed to be writing this? Only You, an old movie (oldish, since 1994 doesn't seem that long ago, to me...), but it starred Bonnie Hunt, Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey, Jr., and what a cute little movie. A lucky find, no doubt. Not sure how I missed this film when it came out, but sweet little story about Destiny, which I'm all about, and magnificent scenes of Venice and Italy. Now I have to go! Anyway, if you're looking for a nice Summer Film to rent, look for Only You -- too early for wine for me, today, (can you believe that I think there is a time when it's toooo early for a drink? Yep, because of a recent hangover, but I'm over that now... still a lingering memory, though, which leads me to believe that occasionally, some times are just too early for libational treats...!) but I'm thinking this movie would have been excellent with a nice Red Wine...ha,ha,ha!

So we've been in our new 'Transitional House' for two weeks, now, and it's really coming along. I'm amazed at the amount of free-time you have when you don't live on an Acreage. Only takes a few hours to take care of absolutely everything on a City Lot, including mowing the lawn -- who knew city life could be so easy?? Plus, we moved into a Lake Community (in Calgary, Alberta, we have 'man-made lakes', on account 'a not having any real lakes, but I'll take any body of water... so it's been a lot of fun to go to the beach, and Cara & I took out a paddleboat, which was hilarious! Much better than the constant work at the Giant House, I have to say.

It's Stampede Week here in Calgary, so all very busy and Cowboyish for the duration of the Stampede. They have Stampede Breakfasts every day all over the city, then the giant Carnival and Rodeo stuff down at the Stampede Grounds -- all very exciting. Personally, though, I only go to the Stampede for the deeelicious little donuts... I have no idea what kind of 'carny' secrets they have for making these incredible little donuts, but they're worth the price of Admission alone -- now is that a good or bad story? ha,ha,ha! Who cares, they're great! All cinnamony 'n everything! Yum. Now I have to go there, too...

I've been really busy fixing up the house to make it all high-end, with some gorgeous drapes and window hardware from Linens 'n Things, my favorite store for Decorating. I put up some really elegant Sconces, which added a nice architectural feature to the house. I put them (well, I chose them, and then Dwight put them up...) in the Living Room, Picture window in the Kitchen, and in the Master Bedroom and Master Bath. Beautiful. I'm really happy with the look. I just pulled the Drapes through the Sconces, and let them drape (makes sense, no??) over the Roman Blinds the previous Owner left here. Might as well work with what you already have, right? I still have to do all the rest of the windows -- maybe later.

Also, I bought another vehicle this week -- a White Rendezvous, which I love, so now I have to sell my White Van. I discovered a great product that really freshens up a new-to-you car, too. Let me run downstairs to get the name of it -- be right back!

Okay, here I am... and the product is a tiny spray tin called OZIUM. I'll write to the company to see if I can get some more info, but this stuff is amazing. Apparently, it can freshen up any room or area that you want to smell nice, or in my case, have no scent at all... I'm thinking this would be a great product if you have rented or purchased a home or apartment that has been smoked in, or if they had any pets you can still smell (yuck), but if this product can take care of that, isn't that a lucky find? That's two luckies in one day -- Yahoo!! (I say that in honor of The Stampede! ha,ha!)

And now for the personal stuff -- I'm still working away in the background to get things moving in a 'southern direction', and hoping beyond hope that things will all work out. I don't like to be sooo evasive, but I'll let you know as soon as things firm up what else is happening in my life. Let's just say I am studying for yet another test for Teachers, called the CSET. It's for California Teachers, and, frankly, I had no idea there was so much I didn't know... little daunting. All sorts of Californian History, which I haven't studied before, and World History I'd completely forgotten... good thing I picked up the Study Guide when we were in the Biggest and Bestest (think that's right -- hope that's not on the test! ha,ha,ha!) book store, ever, the Barnes & Noble in The Farmer's Market at Fairfax & 3rd in Los Angeles. (Yes, right beside the CBS Lot, and yes, I DO hope to spend a whole lot more time there...!). Sadly enough, I haven't even gotten to the Math & Science part of the Study Guide, so wish me luck with that exam!

Okay, so better go finish my actual work I have to do, today... see you soon, Baby! You know you're my Favorite (shhhh, don't tell the others...!) Go have some Good Fun (and a wee bit of bad fun, too...), today!!

> You can use this little 'button link to go straight into Barnes & Noble -- I buy most of my books through Barnes & Noble, because their prices are great and they actually ship to Canada -- a big deal around here! ha,ha!

Saturday, July 1st, 2006. Hey, Baby! How's your weekend, so far? Fantastic, me hopes! We've had an insanely busy two weeks -- last week was the craziest, fer sures... moved out of the Giant House and into the normal sized-house (5400 sq.' down to 1500 sq.'), so a huge adjustment. Squished our enormous funiture into this new house, so looks a bit over-done. Must sell the Big Stuff and replace with normal things... Dwight heard about a place where you can put some high-end furniture out for consignment, so maybe we'll try that...

The New Neighborhood is fantastic, though -- it's a Lake Community, so we have Lake Access, a clubhouse sort of thing, and lots of parks. Oh, and real live human beings, some of themm the actual sze of Aidan, so he's very excited at the prospect of having children his own age to play with right in his own area... mostly retirees in our old Estate Area... and Tia has a Fenced in yard, here, so I don't have to worry about her being carried off by roaming coyotes, anymore... ah, the upsides of living in a City!! ha,ha!

Big storm, right now, so should probably turn off the computer... not clear on that whole 'Power Surge' thing, but better not to risk it... pop in and check out my new Blog on Myspace.com. I just copied this directly from my new Myspace Blog...

Hey, I'm finally on a Blog... or in a Blog. Whatevah'. A whole year I've been trying to figure out how to get that on my website, www.buildyourownhouse.ca, so now my Readers frm my Site can pop in and see me (man, I hope they bring some Gin -- Lemon Gin, in particular...) any time they want... yippee!! I'ma Bloggin'!
So we moved out of the Giant House (the 5400 square foot home I built in 2002 that's featured on my site) into a normal house in Town (Calgary, Alberta). Nice to be out of the Country and back in the City. And good to get my computer set up, albeit in a bizarre location... right in the Master Bedroom, and wouldn't you know it, 'The Master' (now why does he insist on being called that... sooo crazy! ha,ha!) hates the computer more than life itself. A perfect match for me, no?? ha,ha,ha!
Speaking of that, working hard to re-establish myself in my 'Old Life', so more on that as it progresses. I just posted my favourite July Horoscopes on my site, so pop back over to check those out. The Free Monthly Horoscopes from Rose Marcus -- just had a Reading from Rose over the phone -- very cool. Looove that sort of thing!
Oh, and my daughter, Cara, just graduated from High School on Friday, so I'll post her pics on my site asap -- have to find the cords to connect to the camera & computer -- who knows what boxes they're in...! Really, must unpack some time soon!
Better get going, as just trying this out!

Check it, Baby! (Yes, think Ali G...!) I just created a profile in myspace.com, so come in and see me. Maybe this is how I will actually be able to do a Blog, since I never did figure that out on my Site! http://www.myspace.com/89837190

Happy Canada Day to all my wonderful Canadian Readers, eh!! And a Fantastic 4th of July Holiday to all my Free & Fabulous American Readers!! (Hello to everyone else, too!) Have a great Weekend, and enjoy all those Fireworks & Barbeques!

Thursday, June 22nd, 2006. Howdy, Folks! I say that now because I only have a few more days of Country livin' -- yahoo!! Back to bein' a City Girl!! Yippee! I find when I drive home, now, I keep thinking as I drive further and further into the country (we're 15 minutes outside of the city, so bear in my my need for embellishment when you read that ... ha,ha,ha!) that if I lived in the City, I'd be home right now... if you live in a large city, already, you'll be very familiar with those annoying giant banners to remind you of where you don't live! Anyway, it'll be great to be so close to everything, and our new house has a giant field behind it, and eventually a mountain view, so it'll be easier to get used to the 'New View'.

So we had a major fiasco trying to get into the new house, and by 'into', I mean 'take possession of' ... there was a big screw-up with the Funding, where the Mortgage Company didn't bother their, uh, shirt, to fax over the funding papers for the Bridge Financing for this new place. (Bridge Financing is the money you borrow while you're waiting for the money from your current home, if you have different Possession Dates... it's literally a bridge between two houses... well, not literally (although I would like to see that...) but you get the idea. I have a couple of ideas for the Mortgage Company -- one is not nice enough to print (?! ha,ha!), and the other is to buy another FAX Machine, and hire as many people as you need to in order to actually fax over documents that are critical to other people's lives... how's about that, little Mortgage Company, eh?? (Yes, I'm still in Canada, too, so trying to use all the folksy language while I still can!)

The most annoying part of the wait (well, one of the annoying parts...) was that I lost two full days of possible moving time, so my old Moving Plan is all shot to hell... ah, well. I had everything all carefully planned out of what I was going to move with my van, on my own (you know, all the personal items), but now I'm looking at stuff in this house to see what else the Movers can take. Mostly, I wanted them to focus on moving the Big Furniture, and I thought I'd do most of the rest myself -- I now see what a terrible idea that was, since, as it turns out, we have a massive amount of crap that I have somehow accumulated over the past 4 years... hmmmm. Wonder if my need for Things contributed to this little problem? ha,ha,ha!

I did take over my favorite new spirally wrought iron candle holding thing I insisted on buying at the Descanso Gardens when we were down in California on holiday in April. It's about 5 feet high, and about 18 inches across.. and completely necessary, so I'm not sure why you ask that... Luckily, there was a hook above the Kitchen Sink, so I hung it up on that, and frankly, it looks lovely! It's a little shocking how much smaller the new house is compared to this one (5400 square feet in this house down to 1500 square feet in the next one), especially since I kept thinking that our stuff would somehow magically fit into the new place. I'm still hopeful... what's that you say? Deluded? Hmmm. I suppose I'm a wee bit delusional, but that's always worked for me in the past, so I'm stickin' with it! ha,ha!

Oh, how was your Father's Day?? Mine was much better than I thought it would be, on account of Cara, who has just turned 18 so she orders Drinks with every meal (or any other possible occasion where it might appear there could be a drink involved -- where did she learn that from, me wonders? ha,ha!). Anyhooo, my point is that Cara orderd a Long Island Ice Tea, and I ordered my usual Strawberry Dacquiri (spelling? I've already packed my dictionarrry), so to make a long drunken story shorter, Cara didn't like the Long Island Ice Tea, so I inherited it... yippee!! Then I was loaded, but had a much better time. So I think the Message there is that if you have some crappy thing to deal with, try it with booze, and loads of it... or, no, wait. Read The Four Agreements, so you know it's not about you, then have some drinks! ha,ha,ha! (Yes, that is for my own amusement!)

Okay, so that's probably enough time away from packing and moving. Oh, quick Moving Tip: When you are moving Pictures and mirrors, stand them up on their sides, for one, but the most important thing is to wrap them (no, not like a gift -- haphazardly is faster...) in your towels, that way you can transport your towels and mirros & pictures in one go. I'm definitely doing those on my own, because I don't want anything broken. I'm very attached to my Art...

Better go, before Dwight calls and finds out I'm on the computer (still hates that... whatevah'!)... can't wait to get back onto High Speed Internet, since it didn't come this far out in the Country (it's one Estate Area over from us, so no doubt it'll be here shortly after we leave...). See ya, Dial up!! ha,ha! Okay, I could go on and on, as I'm sure you know (!), so let me say good-bye for now, and I'll see you at the next place. I'll try to take some pictures to show you the changes I want to make right away. New Lighting, New Door, New Door Locks... Dwight is over there, right now, drywalling the Garage, because it's important to get your priorities straight, and a Drywalled Garage is right at the top of the list for Dwight, apparently... meanwhile, I'm actually going to move us into the house, to make it into a new wee Home!

Thanks for swinging by for a little visit! Did I tell you how fantastic your nails look, today? Yes. Gorgeous! Been to the Salon?? Freshly clipped, are they? Mine are freshly chipped, but no matter. Chances are high no one is even glancing at my fingers! ha,ha! Talk to you later, Baby! Love, Laughter & Lots of Change, Ailsa

Thursday, June 15th, 2006. Hello there, my unbelievably brilliant Friend, you! And Good Looking -- man... lucky you get through the day without being totally mobbed... okay, that's enough about you, now let's get back to Meeee! (Remember how John Lithgow used to say that on Third Rock from the Sun all the time -- very funny! And only a tiny bit narcissistic...! Agh, I've already packed my giant Oxford Dictionary, and God Knows I never use spellcheck, because it is forever correcting every apostrophe and the vast amount of words I choose to misspell... just go with it, and after the move, I'll be sure to have better (gooder??) spellin', and that's fer sure.

Anyway, I really have been packing like crazy, because the move is coming up in a little over a week. We've been able to sell a few big items, so that's good, and we've given away a ton of stuff, so that lightens the load a wee bit... I'm trying to separate things out into all these different groups -- what's definitely going to the new place in Calgary, what's possibly 'moving on' to a sunnier place, and what has to just go... and stuff that my lovely Daughter, Cara, might want for her own place, should that happen (after 18,you really have to be open to anything happening... so her favorite Shot Glasses and Martini Glasses are packed in their own special boxes...)

Oh, quick Packing Tip: Go to the Liquor Store (you might already have that planned for later, today, anyway... ha,ha,ha!) and get those Wine Boxes with the cardboard partitions for the Wine Bottles, and use those boxes for you Wine Glasses, and perhaps for all the booze in yo' house that needs to be moved!

One more Quick Moving Tip: The Moving Guy from the Moving Company gave me this tip, and I'd never heard it before, so here it is... When you are moving your Washing Machine, run the Spin Cycle Twice before moving it, and shove an old towel between the 'drum' and the inside Rim of the Washing Machine. Apparently, it prevents any damage from the drum rocking around during the move. Good to know. I think I've always just left the Washer & Dryer with every move, but this time they're coming with us, so that's valuable information for me, and perhaps you!

Man, I've run out of time, yet, again. I hope everyone has a Fantastic Father's Day, and that you have at least one Dad you love enough to admire and do nice things for on Father's Day... my Dad is Wonderful, so that's lucky!! I always get him an assortment of Wood Working Tools, or other kinds of Tools, and some sort of Sweeties... as far as I understand it, that's what Dads really like! ha,ha!

Have a Great Weekend, and try to sneak in some Cake!! Love, Laughter & Cake, Ailsa

Hey, The Apprentice Finale is tonight, and then I'm waiting for the follow-up Wedding with the English guy who is in looove with that girl wit' the brown hair that he can't stop gazing at... hilarious!

Monday, June 5th, 2006. Hey, Baby! What's up wit' you? You are lookin' fi-i-i-ine... and I don't mean that in the "Oh, you like fine", which is no compliment at all -- that's just annoyink... like when some idiot (let's say it's your spouse...) says, "You think that top'll streeetch to fit you??" Hmmm. Now that's not good for a relationship, is it? That's why I say you, my lovely friend, are looking fabulous... and I'm sure your top will easily stretch to fit you perfectly...

So that finally brings me to our delightful Trip down to California. Actually, it really was delightful for me, and the kids had a great time, too, but Dwight... not so much. I had a lot of stuff to do while I was there, so I wasn't available every second to be at his beck and call, much to his complete distress. Whatevah'... (I learned me that word in Califoneeeeah). I did get a lot accomplished, though, in preparation for, hopefully, the next Phase of my Life. More on that as it 'firms up', which brings me back to the 'stretching top' scenario... happened when we were all down at Venice Beach on the Coast of Los Angeles, a beach I used to spend a tremendous amount of time on, oddly enough, wearing a thong, which now would maybe fit over one knee, but I digress ( but only a little)...

Cara and I had been shopping for clothes we are most likely not going to find in Calgary, so we emerged from the oceanside shops with a USA Bikini for Cara (who just turned 18, so now I have an adult for a child -- who knew that would happen so soon??), and a large variety of tiny outfits. In an attempt to interest Dwight in something we were doing, I showed him the tops I had just purchased, and that's what prompted the "think that top'll stretch" comments. Oh, so kind. Words not to say to yo' wife, lest she change that title... and for the record, I'm not bitter, just more determined than ever...

We did some very cool things when we were down in L.A. that you might like to try the next time you go (maybe it'll be your first trip to L.A. -- but you know what they say, "Once you go L.A., you'll be back to stay". Oh, wait. That's just me who said that, but I mean it...! It's fantastic down there! Anyhooo, I was able to get some tickets for some TV Shows that I love, so Cara and I went to see The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson on the Monday, and that was a lot of fun. After the taping, I took Cara over to The Farmer's Market at 3rd & Fairfax, right beside the CBS Lot, and we had a great time over there. I even met Tim Meadows, who was having dinner down from where we were sitting. What a lovely man! And now he's on the new 'Gameshow Marathon', so every time I see that, I say to everyone in the room, "Hey, he just shook my hand!" Ooooh, all very exciting! ha,ha!

The Farmer's Market used to be this one building sort of thing when Cara and I lived there when she was little, and we would swing by on a Sunday, but now it's unbelievable... just gorgeous. They've added this entire enclosed street right behind where the original Farmer's Market was (still is..), and it's all lit up at night, with a lovely Fountain, fantastic Restaurants, and the biggest Barnes & Noble Book Store we've ever been in -- stunning!

Cara and I scored a couple of tickets to The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, too, so we went there on the Wednesday, and had a fantastic time -- we were both struck by how incredibly personable Jay Leno is... what a lovely person. So relaxed and comfortable in his own skin, and very kind to his audience. I'm thinking that a massive salary, and complete contentment must bring that on, along with his own hilarious personality.

After the Show, Cara and I got a little bit lost trying to find the Freeway back to the hotel (great Hotel, by the way), so we accidentally came across this Psychic House-thing, so we, of course, screeched to a halt, seeing this as a Clear Sign... the Readings were okay, but the best part was this Restaurant that was right beside the Psychic's, called Sebastion's, right on Riverside Drive in Toluca Lake, down from the NBC Studio. Sooo cool. The Owner, Sebastion, (surprise!) came out to talk to me while I was waiting for Cara -- what a great guy. So many nice people. Half the restaurant was outdoors, with a fountain and couches for lounging (did I already say,"Soo coool"??), and the best French Fry collection I've seen in a while... Oh, I gots to go back!

Dwight & I went to see Craig Ferguson, again, on the Thursday, and that was a lot of fun. I brought my copy of Craig Ferguson's new book, Between the Bridge & the River, in hopes that it would be signed (there were only two of us in the Audience with a copy of his book), but it didn't happen. Little surprised by that, since this was before it was really big, and they could've at least had some sort of wee stamp with Craig's name on it, or something... but the whole experience of being that close to someone you watch every night was very cool. And he's still one of my favorite Comedians... and Tim Meadows does a Bit on his show, too, so it's all good!

Okay, I've gotta get back to packing -- the first Big Move is in a couple of weeks, so crazy-busy around here! Ride the Big Wave, Baby!! Love & Laughter, Ailsa

Hey, you can help spread the word about my Site -- here's a new 'Tell A Friend' that my friend James made for me. He's been working away to teach me some new things for my website that I desperately need to learn to make the improvements I really want. Oh, and don't feel restricted by the whole 'Tell a Friend' thing. You don't even have to really like someone to tell them about www.buildyourownhouse.ca! What do I care? I'm just interested in loads and loads of people coming in for a visit -- maybe even buying something through the Site! And who knows??? Maybe they'll quit borrowing money from you by learning how to Manage their own money after reading my Articles! ha,ha! So here it is, and it's easy schmeasy to use!<

> Thank You!! Soon we'll be enormous! (And I don't mean just because of all the Caramel Apples, neither! ha,ha,ha!) Uh, oh... I see there's no apostrophe in the Friends Name Box -- must tell James! Rest assured ( I don't want you to lose sleep over this!), I do know it needs and 's... we'll fix it for you! See ya'! Ailsa