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At Home With Ailsa -- January 2006.

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Friday, January 27th, 2006. Hey, Baby! What's Up? What's happenin'? What's Shakin'?? Your body, and you're not even dancing? I know, it sucks getting a bit older, don't it? Ah, well. Thank God for delicious alcohol-based drinks, is alls I gotta say. (Quick aside, so early in the Update: When I first moved to Alberta, I had never heard the phrase,"Alls I gotta do..", which was, surprisingly enough, not followed by a big guffaw to indicate a joke had just been successfully played on the 'listener' -- me. Really, I was pretty surprised at the sheer number of grammatical errors from folks who only had the one Language -- yes, English, and had made it through the entire School System. Hmmm. Now I find myself using it, but always in jest. If anyone ever catches me usin' Bad Language (not swearing -- I like that -- I mean Poor English), quickly pack me up and ship me somewhere warmer. Okay, just ship me somewhere warmer, and I'll quit saying anything about all the crappy English I've heard over the years. Oh, and did you hear about the guy who done stoled that car? Yep. Stoled it right off the street. I'm as shocked as you is.

Okay, so I woke up to the News on the Radio, this morning, to hear that our New Leader in Canada, Stephen Harper, is going to immediately call for an Open Vote in the House of Commons to reverse the Court Decision to allow for Gay Marriage. Ugh. I knew it, the bashtard. (Hope I spelled that right...) Everyone had a sneaking suspicion, but NOT ONCE during his campaign did he say this was his main goal. And what's up with the level of hatred around this Human Rights Issue? That argument of "Oooh, that's what God wants...". Puh-leeease. I'm pretty sure God is not making People he plans to reject. No. Not at all. I hope to God (why, He's Everywhere -- and for the Record, I am very Religious, and I feel like a major part of my duty is to make sure All people are treated fairly) there are enough Members of Parliament in the Opposition to prevent this from happening. (It's a Minority Gov't, which means for all my Non-Canadian Readers, it's a nice Balancing Act for the Powers that Be, so no one Group can go mad and reverse Human Rights, which is very good for our Country.)

You know what I would love to see? A study of the Gay Marriages and 'Regular Marriages', and see which ones last the longest. We all know that people marry for all sorts of reasons (whaaat, not just love?? Say it ain't so...), but I would suspect that the vast majority of Gay Marriages would last longer than their Traditional counterparts because they might truly be based on Love. Whatever. Either way, it's disturbing that the Government would be allowed to overturn Rights that were hard-won in the Court System.

Speaking of another type of Government Intervention, all my fancy wee things that I ordered from the Electrique Boutique in The States (through my Site, of course!) have finally been released from the Border. I kept getting emails all week that the items were being detained at the Border. Eeeeew. Hope they weren't trying anything on! I wasn't sure if I was going to get some creepy phone call to find out what my plans were with 'said items'... ick. Now here's the funny thing -- I think they were held because they probably couldn't beleive the prices on the Shoes! ha,ha,ha! Oh, man. I can hardly wait to get the shoes! Silver Glitter High Heeled Pumps, and I think they were something like $12.95... can't get those prices in Canada! I'll let you know when my Shipment arrives. It'll be a nice surprise for me, too, since I've forgotten what all I ordered. I do remember that I didn't order this fabulous little Blue Dress (it was like a Pamela Anderson style Dress...), because I suddenly realized how much I'd spent. Hmmm. Cheaper than Marriage Counseling, though, right?

Rats, I've run out of time, again. Must run, but go out and have a fabulous day, and maybe order something nice for yourself... you can guarantee yourself a Gift in no time at all! ha,ha,ha! Thanks for swingin' by for a wee visit! Later, Baby! Ailsa

<><Electrique Boutique> This is the store where I've bought some gorgeous Thigh High Boots -- incredible prices and an amazing selection. Take a few enjoyable moments to have a wee look through this site. And check out that little Blue Dress, too. Think I'll pop back in and buy that!

< Free Phone Card>Here's a great way to call some people you love (or just like!), and all for FREE!! Yahoo! Cheap Love!<Free Long Distance Your just a few clicks away from a free 50 min Phone card ( US ONLY)>

Happy Chinese New Year!! This is the Chinese Year 4703, and it's the Year of the Dog, which doesn't mean you can go dog around for the whole year... no, no. It does mean a whole Year of Very Good Luck, which I very much need, so here's to a Great New Year! Go eat some Orange Cookies, or see if there's any Orange Voldka left over... maybe dip the Orange Cookies into the Orange Voldka. If it's not good luck, at least it'll be fun, eventually! ha,ha,ha! Hope you have a Prosperous, Healthy & Happy New Year, Daaaawg!! (That's like a Randy version of the Chinese New Year -- couldn't help that, what with American Idol being on all week! ha,ha,ha!) Love & Laughter, Ailsa <Chinese Astrology>

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Wednesday, January 18th, 2006. Well Hello there, You. Yes, You. The Good looking one at the computer. Have I told you what lovely eyes you have, lately? And are those False Eyelashes? They look great on you, and not a bit fake, so cast that worry to the wind. I was gonna pop in here to write my Update, yesterday, but wouldn't you know it? I got caught up in the new Ads I just put on my Sex Tip page... so I bought a ton of stuff (perhaps more than a 'Normal' person would spend on that sort of thing, but who's to say what's Normal, anyway? Normal is waaaay over-rated, from what I understand of it ... plus, it seems unreachable from where I'm standing, anyhow.) Reminds me of an old Prairie joke. I'm out standing in my Field. (Say it quickly, and it'll seem more impressive than just me hanging about on an acreage! ha,ha!)

Okay, so a lot has happened in the last week, or so. Some I can tell you about, some I'd probably get in trouble for saying, and who wants to go back to jail, hmmm? (I'm kidding -- I don't know where the jail is, so how would I even find it??)

In terms of the House, we had a Realtor Open House Luncheon, hosted by our Realtor, Trish Hansen, with Century 21. Very interesting concept -- provide food and people will show up. Much like the 'Field of Dreams' principle, I believe, although I never did see that movie. I did see Cinderella Man, with Russell Crowe and Renee Zelwegger (really, I should learn how to spel... or is that 'splell'? So tricky, all them words.) What a fantastic movie -- who knew? After the whole 'throwing the phone at an unsuspecting Hotel Wrker' thing, I had discounted the movie completely, until Ellen said she really liked it, and, as always, that was enough for me to go rent it. Good thing, because it was one of the best movies I've seen this year.

Anyway, back the the Realtor Luncheon. Our Realtor, Trish, put the whole thing together -- made a giant pot of Chili for all the other Realtors who came over to have a tour of our house. Trish brought the chili over early so it was nice and hot by the time everyone got here, and she brought everything else they needed, too. I just made my favorite Punch and that sort of 'beverage thing' (no gin -- that's just for me...), and some desserts. Simple and effective, so if you are a Realtor, or you want to pass this little idea along to your own Realtor, go ahead and give it a try. We had a huge number of Realtors come over for the House Tour. I figure that can only be a Good Thing, since the more people 'in the know' who have experienced your house first-hand, the better the odds are on selling it quickly. Or eventually, whichever comes first! ha,ha! (Remember to maintain your sense of humor when you're selling a house, so's you don't go mad with the anticipation...)

American Idol started, again, and that's always a good laugh. Mostly I like the beginning part where they do all the crazy auditions. Dwight liked the girl who was trying to get into the American Idol program so she could renew her Performance Visa, so she could stay in the States. He liked her dance moves, and felt she could easily just find herself a rich husband, or at least an American one... I gotta learn to dance like that... (think it'll increase my odds? Note to self: must get rid of current husband, first, then learn to dance like I might need to earn some money at that 'sport'..) I liked the 16 year old Twins -- can't remember their names, but they had beautiful voices -- Darryl and Donald I'll call them until I figure out what their names really are. That's sensitive of me, ain't it?

My favorite crazy show is The Bachelor, though. I don't know why I love to watch girls going mad over some guy, but I find it endlesly entertaining. Perhaps because I've been married so long, I'm not so sure why everyone's clamouring all over themselves to get to the Alter. Just go buy a gorgeous dress and some giant Diamond and get it over with -- and maybe a cardboard cut-out of a husband. Easier to live with, is my guess, but that's what happens when you're a Disgruntled Housewife, 'n all. (That's the title that didn't make it to the airwaves -- apparently 'Desperate Housewives' doesn't sound so bitter...) I just love the whole thing where they ply the girls with alcohol right before they tape the Final Rose Ceremonies -- excellent planning. Angry Drunks make for good TV...

Mmmm. I've run out of time, yet again. Must take a Time Management Class, as soon as I have a minute. Thanks for popping in for a wee visit. Next time bring your good looking friends -- no need to be too picky about that, neither, because after a few drinks, everyone starts looking that much better, so we're all good. See you soon, Baby! Ailsa

Here's where I was shopping all day, yesterday. Oh, and I bought the How to Quit Smoking book for my Father-in-Law, too, and another of the 'Letters from a Nut' (Extra Nutty), and Jim Gaffigan's new DVD, since he's hilarious and I want to support him... now I'm gonna need a second job to support my own online shopping habits! ha,ha!

<><>I just bought these two gorgeous dresses. Yahoo! Can't wait to get them! I'll let you know how they look...

<><Electrique Boutique> This is the store where I've bought some gorgeous Thigh High Boots -- incredible prices and an amazing selection. Take a few enjoyable moments to have a wee look through this site. I spent waaay too much time in here, yesterday, and ordered the Red Thigh Highs with a 5" Heel -- very pretty... and a whole pile of other gorgeous Dresses and Shoes. Hard to stop shopping!

< Submit Music.  Compete for Prizes.  Get Exposure.>

Tuesday, January 10th, 2006. Yo, Dude. Duuuude. Dudilicious. (Yes, I'm still talking to you, so no need to strain your neck looking for someone annoyingly standing behind you as you read this...) So did you see the first Episode of The Bachelor, last night? I know, it's a guilty little secret, like many parts of your life, but a particularly fun one! Oh, those crazy girls. And I do mean 'crazy'. "Aaaah, my eggs are falling out of me as I speak!", kind of crazy. Sooo funny. I can't understand why a lovely girl such as herself has yet to find a man. At least she has a practical back-up plan -- to join a Nunnery! ha,ha,ha,ha! Thank God no one was overy dramatic, is all I can say.

My favorite part was when the new Bachelor (I'll call him "Man with Rose") gave the Singular First Rose to the little Canadian Girl, Sarah. Yaahoo for Canadian Girls!! Man, we grow 'em nice, don't we?? Cute, too. And, she likes to camp. She's my fave. And then Dwight (who drooled his way through the Show...) and I both really liked Susan, the gorgeous Brunette. Dwight was almost in tears when the "Man with Rose" didn't choose Cortney, the lovely blonde from L.A. I loved her dress -- I wonder if they list where those girls (goils, I really call them...) got all their beautiful dresses? I'll need to find that out.

Oh, I just remembered that The Bachelor's actual name is Travis, and he's 33 and a Doctor. He'll probably be available again in approximately three to six months, if Powdered Egg Girl wants to give it another shot... oh how I love the crazy ones! Can't wait to see who's next!

This is just a quickie update because I've wasted a tremendous amount of time, today, on my Sex Tip page and writing more hints on my Wedding page. Wonder what I'm thinking about, today? I blame it on The Bachelor. Thanks a lot. Now I can't think straight, and I wasn't all that straight before... but I digress..

Onto bigger and better things, but still on TV... Craig Ferguson, my Fave Guy because he's soooo funny (I like that in a Comedian), is Hosting The Peoples Choice Awards tonight -- yippee! What a huge accolade for him. Now everyone can see how hilarious he is and can tune into The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson. (No, they're not paying me to say that -- strictly 'Free Will'.)

Ugh, I've run out of time. Gotta go watch for Aidan's School Bus. Tia gets sooo very excited at the prospect of going out to the end of the driveway, on her leash, and then she can hardly wait to get back into the house, again. Funny wee dog. She looks just like that gorgeous wee dog, Honey, on Ellen's Show, yesterday -- hmmm. I see a running theme here, which seems to indicate that I should, perhaps, leave the house every so often (but still not miss me shows!)... I'll let you know how that works out, too!

Love & Laughter, Ailsa

It's Superbowl Time, again! Pop in and see how many answers you know -- ooooh, maybe you'll win sumthin' BIG!

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Quit Smoking in 2006!

January 3rd, 2006. Wow, 2006. Happy New Year, Baby!! How youse doin' out there in Computerland? Not still hungover, I hope! If you haven't stopped drinking from your New Years Celebration, yet, nows the time to make a special New Years Resolution just for you -- "I, me, will shtop drinkin' sho much, ever again..." The 'ever again' part is what the vast majority of drunks say at the end of pretty much every sentence...

So I was thinking about what to tell you about, today, and I thought I'd start with a wee lesson about Carnal Knowledge, since everyone seems keenly interested in that sort of thing, but I'm married, so not much info to draw from, there. That, plus it's been ages since I've even been to a Carnival, and hardly know any Carnies at all anymore. So you can see how I don't have much to go on with that I do know that the fewer teeth you have, the more likely you are to land a great position with any Travelling Carnival (I'm guessing you have your own favorite...), and as far as I understand it, it's all about The Position. And I don't know that sleeping your way to the top is the way to go with the Carnival, neither, since that seems more like a trick than a promising career as a Carny. Lot of tricksters in that Carny Bunch -- not as trustworthy as you probably thought.

Did you do your New Years Resolutions? Me, neither. Who has that kind of time, huh? But I did think about some of the things I did last year, and that was a waaay easier list to make. Shorter, too. Here goes:

Best Things I Did Last Year:

I grew out my bangs. Yes, it was a lot of work, but definitely worth it. That was 40 years of having bangs to finally make the Big Decision to grow them out, but now I feel like I'm ready for the next 10 - 40 years with my new look. That's not the sort of thing that can be a 'snap-decision', or at least not for me. Easier for me to decide to move to another country than to change my hair! ha,ha!

I Switched My Web Server. Sounds little, but I needed a better company in the States in case I get to move to the U.S. (California, specifically), this year. (Fingers crossed!) (Legs, also, but I don't know whether that counts toward luck...) Anyway, my new Server is waaay less expensive and American, so that's good preparation for me. Lets me have way more visitors to my site, too, so go ahead and tell all yer friends! So we'll have, oh, ten, twenty people A DAY!! (I don't say that to make you jealous of that level of success...)

I sent in a Tape of Me Cooking to The Ellen DeGeneres Show. I know, that might sound like an enormous thing, either, but it was for me. I would sooo love to be on TV, and show everybody how to make some delicious Cheesecake. Or show folks how to get rid of Cellulite. (Cheesecake first, of course...) It took me ages to prepare the Kitchen and get all the ingredients ready before we did the Tape. Then we had to do another Tape, on account of I had no idea I had become so rotund! Aaaaye! I had to choose different outfits and was careful to stand behind the Island! Which brings us to the next Best Thing...

I Joined A Gym. Thank God. It was sooo nice to get back into a Gym, especially one with a great selection of Weight Machines, since I love Weight Lifting. Seriously. Love it. But now my Gym Membership has run out, and it's January, which means terrible weather up here in Alberta (which I affectionately call 'Albertie'), so I don't know whether to renew my Gym Membership or not, since I hate to make any unnecessay trips out the house if there's a Snow Storm... and I do have a lovely collection of Workout Equipment here at the house. Maybe I'll just drag it all back into the Living Room. Maybe...

Oh, and I read The Four Agreements. Another Thank God, since I really felt this was Life-Changing Material. Then I read every book by don Miguel Ruiz I could get my clammy little hands on ... no, they're not little... and I loved every bit of them. Most of them are out on loan, right now, becasue as soon as I find a great book, I love to farm it out to anyone I think will benefit from it. Which reminds me of my other Favorite Book Find last year, Letters from a Nut, which is hysterical. Tears rolling down your face kind of funny!

I did a few other great things, but that's enough for today! Aidan, my wee 6 year old, is apparently starving, so must go and feed the boy. And clean the House, since we've actually hired a Realtor (Century 21), so the house needs to be ready in a hurry for Showings. I want to get the house back in order after the holidays so I'm not in a panic when we get a call. Better go finish taking the Christmas Tree down!

Welcome to The New Year!! Hope you have a Fantastic Year, and many s'mores!! Ailsa

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Live, Love & Laugh, Ailsa!

Hey, you can help spread the word about my Site -- here's a new 'Tell A Friend' that my friend James made for me. He's been working away to teach me some new things for my website that I desperately need to learn to make the improvements I really want. Oh, and don't feel restricted by the whole 'Tell a Friend' thing. You don't even have to really like someone to tell them about! What do I care? I'm just interested in loads and loads of people coming in for a visit -- maybe even buying something through the Site! And who knows??? Maybe they'll quit borrowing money from you by learning how to Manage their own money after reading my Articles! ha,ha! So here it is, and it's easy schmeasy to use!<

> Thank You!! Soon we'll be enormous! (And I don't mean just because of all the Caramel Apples, neither! ha,ha,ha!) Uh, oh... I see there's no apostrophe in the Friends Name Box -- must tell James! Rest assured ( I don't want you to lose sleep over this!), I do know it needs and 's... we'll fix it for you! See ya'! Ailsa

At Home I * At Home II * At Home III * At Home IV * Archived At Home With Ailsa Pages!

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