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At Home With Ailsa - April 2005

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Friday, April 1st, 2005. Hey! I'm so glad you popped in. You'll never believe what just happened! We just sold our house -- all by ourselves! Man, I can't believe our luck... we got $20,000. over our Asking Price, on the condition that we move out by Sunday.

The people who bought it are soooo nice -- beautiful Leather Outfits with Matching Jackets. I don't know who does their Embroidery, but it was very neatly done. I'm sure you could see the Emblem a mile away. And leather like buttah'...gorgeous.So it turns out they were cruising through the neighborhood last weekend, looking for a big house with lots of light where there'd be 'plenty of room to grow'. They seemed very, very interested in that.

They loved the Spacious Living Room and Kitchen -- room for the whole gang to come over for a party, they said. We love parties, too, so we could totally relate to that! And they thought the Circular Driveway was perfect for Wheelies and whatnot. Who doesn't love doing wheelies, right?? Reminds you of your childhood.

The only thing I thought was a little disappointing was their reaction to all my lovely drapes -- they're planning to put up some 'black out curtains'. They are useful in keeping down the Air Conditioning Bills, so that does make sense, I suppose. Well, anyway, I shouldn't worry about that. I've got plenty of Twenties and Hundreds to count up today, since they said they had done very well in their last Deal, and had plenty of Cash to buy the house. Wasn't that lucky??

So Dwight has found us a lovely New Home that we can stay in until we get around to building again. It's not too far from here (about 45 minutes straight out on the Prairie), called Sha-Tow Urrown Estates. Sounds beautiful. Dwight says he snagged the place for a great Price and it comes with it's own Boat Parking Area -- a Hook at the End of the Building -- very handy if there's a Flash Flood, which occasionally happens at the end of April. Luckily, Dwight loves Boating, and we like to swim, so it should work out well. Dwight says I'm going to love the Brickwork on the Corners of the 'Movable Structure', as Dwight keeps calling it. Cinder Blocks, and for the most part, quite even. Anyway, he thinks there should be enough to hold the place up...

Well, I better go get packing. I've gotta clear out the Garage right away so they can drop off 'a few packages' early, and they need their Electrician to pop by to install a few extra lights and make some adjustments to the Electrical Panel. They're probably putting in a pool -- that's what I wanted to do, too! Lovely Fellows, every one of them. I'm sure our Neighbors are going to love them all, and they'll be able to continue our Tradition of our great big Get Togethers. Hope they do all right with all the Condo Bylaws... well, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Seeee Ya', Baby!! I gots ta' go!!

Have a Little Fun, today!! Ailsa

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And now for Last Year's April Fools Day 'Trick'!!

Thursday, April 1st, 2004. Good morning, Folks. I'm in shock, this morning... I just got up and found a note on the Dining Room Table -- it was from Dwight. He's finally done it, after years and years of threatening and holding it over my head... he's run off to join the Circus. I knew it would probably happen one day, but I didn't see it happening, today. How ironic, with April Fools, and all... I went to check the Closet, and all his stuff is gone -- the Leotards, the Tutus, those stooopid Clown Shoes -- everybody knew they were too big for him -- who was he kidding?? What a Clown! The Note said he had to," follow his Dream, his pasion" (Dwight never could spell...), and become a Trapeze Artist. Artist my ass -- all they do is hang about all day, but I suppose he is good at that -- plenty of practice, anyway.

Well, I better go clean up -- what a mess -- I think some of his friends must have swung by to pick him up -- what a load of Clowns -- and never enough seatbelts for them all in their stupid wee car, either. I hope the Cops nab them and their crazy little Monkeys, too. Those are the worst Outfits I've ever seen -- half their behinds are hanging out, for Goodness Sake.

Well, I'll tell you -- it's for the'll be good to get that little monkey off my back, at least until next week when he'll be angry about being demoted to 'Pet Patrol', which is just a fancy euphanism for 'Pooper Scooper' -- I hope it's in the Elephant Tent! Now that'll show him!

I need to go collect my thoughts and find the Insurance...

Happy April Fools! Go have a leettle bit of fun, today!! ha,ha,ha,ha! Ailsa!

Stay Good, Baby! Ailsa

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Tuesday, April 12th, 2005. Hey, there, You. How are you, today? You look great, I know that! Man, can't believe it's been so long since I've been in here. True, I have been into my Ask Ailsa Page, and there's a new 'answer' in there, but I've ben relly busy working with our little sick Dog, Tia, and fighting with Dwight. Because he refuses to agree with me, and, as you might guess, that infuriates me.

We're supposed to be working on the Landscaping, but it ain't workin' out well at all. Mostly because of Dwight not agreeing with me, but also because we seem to come to a resolution about what is to be done, then we go out and stand on the Land and whammo, Dwight wants everything to look 'Basic' -- his word. My word isn't 'Family Friendly', if you know what I mean (and I'm sure you do!! ha,ha,ha!), which brings me to what I was thinking earlier today when we were over at the Local Gravel Pit to see what kind of rocks to put in the Patio Area -- this Landscaping Job has a 'Swear Factor' of, oh, 10. Or maybe 20... I think all the Jobs around the House or During a House Build have a 'Swear Factor', depending on how annoying your Spouse or Contractor is during the Work. And wouldn't you know it -- my Spouse IS the Contractor...

So Dwight and I each drew out what we each want the Patio Walk-Out Area to look like, and we came to an agreement about putting Tiers out there, and mirrored on both sides, which I thought would have looked fantasitc. Then we went out there, this morning, and Dwight says that what he is going to do is put Brick-like stairs going up the hill on one side. Yuck. (Ryhmes with what I really said...) "Stairs??!!", I said in my most moderate, high-pitched angry voice... that nut. (Not me -- Dwight!) I was soooo mad, which I now realize was not particularly useful, but it was impossible to avoid feeling like that at the time. If you ever feel like you're in the mood for a crazy roller-coaster ride of emotions, go ahead and work on something really big and expensive with yo' spouse. It's so much fun. The irony is that you will most likely love whatever you do end up with at the end of the day (and by 'day', I mean 'months and months of work'...), but getting to the end of the project can be a bit tricky.

I think what we have settled on, now, is to put in Purple Sparkle Rocks off-setted with White Sparkle Rocks in some sort of little White Path and White 'Frame' around the outside of the purple rocks -- I'll draw a picture for you, unless Dwight orders the Rocks today, and it's faster just to do the work and take a picture... Dwight wants a Fire Pit at the back, so that should be nice. Oh, and I know what else infuriated me, this morning -- I want a zillion or so trees all around the property, and Dwight should know that. Today, though, Mr. Lovely says he won't let me put any more trees in, so that's when the swear factor rose quickly from Zero to Ten in 60 short seconds. Ah, well. I'm sure it'll all work out.

Rats, I'm out of time, again. Gotta run, but I'll pop back in this afternoon...

I'm back for a minute. I just picked up Aidan from School, and it turns out he poked another boy with a pencil. Ugh. I use 'going to the park' as his reward when he has a really good day at school, since going to the park is one of Aidan's favorite things to do. And he hasn't had any TV since he got home -- only Homework... I want to be careful that he doesn't associate Homework with Punishment, but he needed to sit and calmly do some writing when he got home.

Remember when you were a kid (or if you didn't do this when you were a kid, Bart always does this on The Simpsons...) you had to Write Lines? On the Chalkboard or on a paper to show the teacher? Well, I think we could use that in our favor, again. The child can tell you what they want to say (should be a statement about what they did. Have them give you enough lines until you have a positive statement to write down, if they are still too little to write on their own). Aidan is 5, and he needs to practice his printing, anyway, so he has been writing out his 'Lines' to help him to remember to 'be good'.

Yes, I said 'good'... you know that annoying phase where you weren't supposed to refer to any person as Good or Bad, lest they feel personally responsible for their own behaviour?? Right, well, we know how that worked out, so I'm back to the Basics with Good and Bad. Kids need to know without a doubt what is Good and what is Bad, so they can clearly make a decision about how they will act. That whole business about 'What you did was horrible, but you are absolutely lovely' is a big pile of crap. Puhleeease. You are your Actions and your Words. Who else is in charge of you but yourself, hmmm? So crazy. And a great way to encourage really bad behaviour, if the person is never held accountable for what they do. That doesn't serve Society well. Or your immediate family or school.

Wouldn't you know it, the Supernanny is on Oprah right now. She has some good ideas about Child Discipline, and some harsh things that I would never do. It's good to be Firm but Kind with your Children. Oh, and here's a tidbit if you have Boys -- for Goodness' Sake, don't follow that crazy advice to let them cry as much as they like. That was another Guy on Oprah a few years ago who encouraged that. No, no. You don't want any child to cry incessantly or at the drop of a hat -- they won't be able to fit into any Social Group and they'll be ostracized, and ye canny do that to yer chilluns, right??

Oh, speaking of crying at the drop of a hat, did you happen to catch Kirstie Alley's Fat Actress last night? Man, that is one of the funniest Shows on TV. We laughed ourselves silly! Merv Griffin was on Fat Actress (he's sooo funny!), but Kirstie ends up dating a Billionaire who cries over any tiny thing that goes slightly wrong, and it was hilarious! He cried and cried, over-reacting to ever little thing. Hysterical. I couldn't stop laughing. Now that only works on TV, like when Homer starts to cry -- always funny, but when your own kid (or God Forbid, your spouse...) cries endlessly,it ain't so funny... mostly just bizarre and awkward.

Okay, I have to go find Aidan a good show to watch on TV, since he's been so good since he got home. And just so you know, I don't use the word 'punishment' around the house (well, maybe with Dwight, but that's a whole other story...). I believe in the true meaning of 'Discipline' -- to Teach. I use every 'bad' experience to teach the kids why they can never do it again, and for them to understand what motivated them to do that thing in the first place. The Goal is to make the child Self-Disciplined, then you never have to worry about them -- much easier!

Stay Good, Baby! Ailsa

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Friday, April 22nd, 2005. What's up, t'chall?? That's my favorite new word -- "t'chall". It's in all sorts of songs, now, and I think it's funny every time I hear it (or sing it!!). We've got some huuuuge problem with the Government in Canada, these days. I find it slightly entertaining, and a bit annoying, too. There have been a lot of accusations of Kickbacks and Corruption in the Government. As Jon Stewart of The Daily Show would say, "Whaaaaaa???" Say it ain't so! What is disturbing about the whole "OhMyGod, there's corruption in our Canadian Government, and we thought we were all nice and quiet, and definitely not corrupt..." thing is that now the Opposition wants to Call another Election over too much spending. Okay, now. Who has a calculator in Ottawa, hmmmm? How much does it cost to hold an Election? Stoooopid.

I have a small theory on what's really happening that makes one part of the Opposition want to Bring Down the Government over a Financial Scandal (which is, luckily, the very first time the Canadian Government has ever, ever wasted taxpayers money...). Anyway, my concern is that this is really about the issue of Same-Sex Marriage. The current Liberal Gov't has already gone ahead and supported this issue, and I'm pretty sure I heard that they have Same-Sex Marriage as a box to check off on the 2006 Census. They have treated the Gay Marriage thing as a Human Rights Issue, which it clearly is, but I fear that the Opposition is trying to mix Church with State too much (should be completely separate, but we're living in the Truth, here), and using this Financial Scandal to more readily Bring Down the Gov't. That's not the Canadian Way. That seems stupid and mean-hearted.

On the Upside, there's so little crime in Canada that the Gov't Issues take up a good , oh, half of any National News Broadcast, so that's not so bad. I think Canadians just don't want them to spend any more of the huge amount we have to pay in Taxes on themselves or their 'closest friends'. Or wasteful spending, like two Elections in One Year... man, no wonder there's a Brain Drain up here! (Which, if ever the opportunity presented itself, I would happily partake in...)

Okay, so that's enough of that. On to something much more pleasant, like The Apprentice. Did you see it last night? Does anyone else notice that as good looking as Alex is, he really doesn't do a whole lot? He likes to delegate and sit at a desk -- all good, unless you have something to do in a very small Timeframe. It's interesting to see how Looks can carry you along a lot further than you might think. Alex was one of my favorites at the beginning, but now Tana is by far my favorite Candidate. She's down-to-earth, knows that the customer is key to Sales (who wouldda thunk that??), and seems to be very easy to get along with -- and she doesn't even call other candidates "Little Missy", or other equally lovely names. Hmmm. Always good for a Boss not to be condescending to their Staff. People like that sort of thing -- what's it called? Oh, yeah -- Respect. (They like to dance to that, too!) Maybe we could see The Donald out dancing with the Top Candidates at some New York Disco -- I, for one, would find that very entertaining!

They had a whole thing about Risk-Taking and what type of people are Risk-Takers -- poor old Bren who was Fired, last night, because he felt he was just a 'Beginner Risk-Taker'. Now I'm thinking that pretty much any of my Readers (that's YOU!) could be on The Apprentice, because you have to be a major Risk-Taker to Build Your Own House, or even contemplate it. Or Renovate when you're married! ha,ha,ha! (Only the marrieds who have renovated in the past are sniggering now...) But seriously, it is a huuuge risk and undertaking to decide to put an enormous amount of your Money, Time, Personality, and Life into Building a House. The lucky thing is that if you stay strong and persevere, you'll end up with a gorgeous New Home you can call your own. Or sell it and buy Two Condos! ya'ha,ha!

Oh, and I got some very good Personal Advice from The Apprentice, to -- I need to have a good look at the whole Buff thing. I think I'll have some Buffs made up (Buffs like they wear on Survivor, and I have a great Wholesale Connection for them...) so I can put them back on the Site. I had some ideas for Logos that could go on a Buff that I thought would be great for Christian Youth Groups , but I think I need to come up with a nice Logo that would work for everybody, and order those. I had wanted to order some Buffs with the Flag of each 'major' Country, but Dwight won't let me make that kind of an investment. Let me know if you think you might know a Market for Flag Buffs, though -- I'm thinking for Tourism and for Team Support when the Sports are International, like British Football (Soccer in North America). Drop me a line if you have an idea for me to put on the Buffs. Maybe I could sell them through the Site...

Okay, gotta get going! Have a Fabulous Day, and even Better Week, Year, Decade... you get the picture!

Love & Luck, Ailsa

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Friday, April 29th, 2005. Hi, Honey! You're Home, again! And it's always so nice to see you. You're my favorite, out of all my Readers. Because you're so smart and sweet. And hardly any Back-talk -- I really like that in a Friend! ha,ha,ha! That and a good supply of liquor and chocolate, but that's probably a different sort of story, so let's leave it at that!

So, did you see The Apprentice, last night? Were you sitting at the edge of your seat to see if that sneaky (yet ludicrously Good Looking...) Alex was going to win over Tana?? We literally cheered when The Donald chose Tana! Now who's invested in this Show?? ha,ha! It's funny how you get so wrapped up in these Reality TV Shows -- maybe that's why we love them so much... that and it's still freezing outside. Yesterday we even had yet another snowstorm, out here. Crazy. And another good reason why we love Survivor, too, since it's great to be able to see that somewhere in the world it's sunny and warm! Something for us to fantasize about...!

Just to clarify, I'm sure old Alex will do very well in the Marketplace, particularly if he uses his own image to sell whatever Product he comes up with, and I really liked his little 'Goodbye Donald' statement that he now realizes that a Company doesn't have to take a long time to get started. Good to know. I just finished doing my Business Taxes, today (in Canada, Taxes are due at the end of April instead of the American 15th of April -- lucky for procrastinators like me!), and this is my third year working on my website, and, man, it sure takes a long time to start making a Profit. I've read that most Internet Businesses take, on average, 18 Months or more to Turn a Profit. I'm way past that, so anytime now, I could easily be a multi-millionaire! ha,ha,ha! I'll just keep plugging away to see when that happens...

Oh, before I forget ... One of my very lovely Readers, Theresa (who is newly Single, in case you know someone nice for her!), wrote to ask me what happened to my sweet little Tia (The Dog!). Poor wee thing, she had a Urinary Tract Infection. Who knew that could even happen to a dog? It's not like she wasn't getting enough Cranberry Juice... kiddink! She will only eat cranberries if they are encased in cake! ha,ha! She would yelp if I picked her up, she could barely jump up on the bed or get up and down the stairs -- usually she flies up the stairs in about a second, if it takes her that long, so we knew there was something seriously wrong with her.

We took Tia into her Vet, who is very kind and gentle with her, and he gave us some Pain Killers and some medicine for the Urinary Tract Infection. She happily took her 'meds' with a nice coating of peanut butter, which she loves (we actually tried squishing the pill into a cube of cheese, but she carefully and delicately removed the pill from the cube and spat out the pill ... very funny!).There were a couple of other funny things that happened when we were at the Vet's Office. When he had Tia up on the Table to examine her, she had her head up beside Dwight, and I was in charge of the 'middle'. The Vet was checking her abdomen, so he was at 'the end'. Well, Tia didn't want to move away from Dwight's hands, so her little body was stretched waaaay out so she looked hilarious. Normally I would have burst out laughing, since we find Tia endlessly entertaining, but it is very serious in the Vet's Office, so you just stand there and try to answer any questions.

Then he asked what had made her feel a bit better, so I told the Vet that she had gone out the night before and had done some 'business', and I thought that made her feel better. Unfortunately, the Vet wasn't clear on what I meant by 'business', so he waited for me to come up with another word for it. I was a little bit thrown by that because I thought he wanted me to say the 'Sh...' word, which I thought couldn't possibly be the right word. Long story short, he finally prompted me with "Deficate or urinate?" I hadn't even thought of those words, so I was very relieved and said, "Deficate". (Who knew there would ever be a need to use the word 'deficate' on a Building Site, and so many times??) Anyway, she's all better, now, Thank God. And Thanks, Dr. Bourque!

That crazy Dwight was saying last night that he wants the next house to be 'something small in Town'. So, of course, I asked why he wants to live all alone... ha,ha! No, no. I told him we have to build at least one more gorgeous big house, then we'll see where we are after that. Sounds so reasonable, don't it?? Yes, I'm nothing but Moderate. I already have the House Design in my head, and partly on paper, so there's no turning back, now. At least, not in my mind. Just a matter of finding a nice piece of Land (in the Country -- I haven't seen anything 'In Town' that I want to build on -- and besides, non of those Lots would be big enough for what I have in mind...). Plus, there are all these new Alternate Sources of Energy that I want to try. I'm very interested in Wind and Solar Power, and Dwight is into Geothermal Energy (Heat from the Earth), and the only really good way to figure out how to use these effectively is to build a giant house using those features, right? I'm sooo glad you always take my side -- that's the other thing I like about you!

Well, I better get going. Thanks for popping in for a wee visit! I'm still working away with James to redesign the Site, so it'll be interesting to see how it does with the new design. Which includes Forums for you all to chat amongst yourselves! Doesn't that sound like fun?? Have a Fabulous Weekend, and stay out of the snow! (Oh, is that just me??)

See Ya', Baby! Ailsa

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Live, Love & Laugh, Ailsa!

Hey, you can help spread the word about my Site -- here's a new 'Tell A Friend' that my friend James made for me. He's been working away to teach me some new things for my website that I desperately need to learn to make the improvements I really want. Oh, and don't feel restricted by the whole 'Tell a Friend' thing. You don't even have to really like someone to tell them about! What do I care? I'm just interested in loads and loads of people coming in for a visit -- maybe even buying something through the Site! And who knows??? Maybe they'll quit borrowing money from you by learning how to Manage their own money after reading my Articles! ha,ha! So here it is, and it's easy schmeasy to use!<

> Thank You!! Soon we'll be enormous! (And I don't mean just because of all the Caramel Apples, neither! ha,ha,ha!) Uh, oh... I see there's no apostrophe in the Friends Name Box -- must tell James! Rest assured ( I don't want you to lose sleep over this!), I do know it needs and 's... we'll fix it for you! See ya'! Ailsa

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