At Home With Ailsa - June '04

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It's The Weekend! June 12th & 13th, 2004. Yo, yo, yo... what up wit' mah Home-ies?? How you doin' out there in computerland? I hope it's not raining (in case you, too, are waiting around for a dry day and your Bobcat Guy to show up...!). Man, it's sooo late in the day -- I knew I should have stayed up late on Friday Night to write my Weekend Update -- it's soooo hectic around here on the weekends with my little demanding family... Dwight wants to have a big fancy schmancy Breakfast on the Weekends, and guess who makes that.... and then he wants me to be available for any other work that he wants done around the house (like a good little slave... or, I mean, 'wife'...), so that means it's next to impossible to get my work done on the computer... see why like to be alone?? With just 4 year old Aidan -- he's the one with the fewest 'outside' needs! And he has just the slightest handle on time-frames, so I can put him off for any amount of time -- "We'll do that next month", or "That's something we do at Christmastime..." Yes, if I could put everything off 'til Christmastime, that would really work for me! I'm busy 'til then! ha,ha,ha!

Oh, and speaking of 'wife / maid', I can't wait to go and see The Steppford Wives... I think I'm a little bit like them, except for the bad attitude, 'n all! ha,ha! But I do like to wear nice dresses, bake a whole lot of treats and make my family really happy with a very comfy home, but I've got that bad little attitude behind it all that wouldn't quite fit in with the Steppford Way! And apparently those wives are not supposed to have any ambition, so that would count me out, right there, since I'm jam packed full of ambition! ha,ha! And that reminds me of something else -- guess what my Ranking is on Yahoo in my Building Category? That's right -- #1! WooHoo! Or should I say, "YaaaHoooo"! So now I'm # 1 out of 8,910,000 websites -- that ain't too bad! All I have to do now is make the thing profitable, and I'm all set! Or find an Agent, then they can make some deals for me! That does sound easier... and maybe I still wouldn't have to leave the house, which appeals to me...

It is interesting that we're revisiting the whole notion of 'The Perfect Wife', again... Is it just me or does it feel like the Fifties are making a come-back in certain Sectors? There's the whole thing with Dr. Phil telling the Husbands of America to "git on home and be a Leader in your Family..." Yes, I'm paraphrasing for extra fun, but he DID say about husbands being the Leader in the Family, and I have a very big problem with that... what happened to the Partenship Idea? If there's a Leader in the Couple, what does that make the Other Person? That's right -- the Follower. Yuck. I ain't no Follower, and I sure as hell wouldn't blindly follow any husband down a path of certain destruction, if he were to be, say, a moron.... No, no, no. I say, let's get back to being Equal Partners, both with important qualities to bring to the Table, and we'll see how that works out.(And just for the Record, I really like Dr. Phil...)

You know what would be really great, and would perhaps help in keeping a whole lot of marriages together? If we got rid of those crazy old notions of what the Wife is and what the Husband is -- up until you get married, you're two happy individuals, each with your own functioning brain (hopefully...! ha,ha!). Then you get married and all of a sudden, 'The Wife' is supposed to defer to her Husband. Hmmm. I wonder why that doesn't seem to work? It sounds like a good model, and yet women seem to get soooo annoyed... they're uppity like that. Me, in particular. I've actually been called 'uppity'. And 'Little Missy'. And on a Government phone call with a gov't Agent, he repeatedly called me 'Miss' when it was a call concerning a Tax Rebate or something like that to do with my Children, so it was a little dig on his end to belittle me. And they wonder why so many Canadians choose to leave the Country... and that's one of the reasons I occasionally refer to Canada as 'Canad'uh'... mostly, it's for my own amusement, but why women can be treated so badly here is beyond me.

The funny thing is that you enter into marriage with all these preconceived notions of who is gonna do what, and when... and it's almost non-negotiable right from the very start. And then 'The Wife' doesn't want to rock the boat, in case they, too, become part of the startling statistics on how many marriages fail (I think it's around 65%). And when I hear people say, "Not like in the good old days, when most marriages stayed together..." Puh-leeease. Do you know who initiates the majority of Divorces? The women. And they didn't do that 'in the good old days' because they couldn't. It was against the law and the vast majority of women didn't work outside 'The Home'. I had a friend when I was about 23 (so about 18 years ago, which is not all that long ago, at all...) and she couldn't even get a Divorce from her Husband because you had to prove all these things, first... and if you've ever had the misfortune to have to prove something in Court, it's next to impossible, since the vast majority of what happens in a marriage happens in private, and between the two people. Hard to show proof from that.

I can't remember exactly when the Laws for Divorce changed, but I think it was in 1984, which would fit nicely with George Orwell's ideas of the 'future'... and there was a great deal of celebration amongst women -- and then the Divorce Rate went up, so it ain't Rocket Science. So now the big concern should be how to keep marriages Happy, not just 'together'. Marriage shouldn't be a Prison Sentence, it should be a nice nurturing place to be where you can both grow, and then welcome smaller people into the Mix... and if it doesn't work, neither party should be punished for Life for having married the wrong one and had a child or children with them... You should be able to both go on with your lives, be productive and live freely -- I hope to do that, myself, again, soon...

Hey, maybe we should revamp the whole system so that you get your Marriage Licence the same way you get your Driver's Licence...Every 2 years it's up for Renewal... no muss, no fuss... and any wealth that's been accumulated during the Marriage up until that date is split down the middle (or so...) and off you go, or stay together. See, no Lawyers! Wouldn't That be nice? It's all very amicable, and then the animosity doesn't have to be there... And what's with those stooopid new Court Ordered Programs where the parents have to go and attend 'Co-Parenting' Classes? What a joke. Especially if you've come from an Abusive Environment, since the Courts don't acknowledge that as being harmful to the children, since the Abuser is surely going to be lovely to the children when he was only abusive to his wife... ugh. I hate that.

I should start a New Page on 'How to Build a Better Marriage', then all of my wonderful Readers can write in and share your 'Happy Marriage' Secrets, or your ideas on how we could all go about building a better marriage... what do you think? We're already waaaaay off the beaten track, so why not stray a little further? I'll change your Name, if you like, and we could all benefit -- or get something off your shoulders (a giant monkey? I don't know what kind of baggage you're carrying around! ha,ha,ha!).

Okay, with all that being said, I still can't wait to go see The Steppford Wives -- hey, wonder how many fights that's caused on the way home from the Movies?? "Is that what YOU want? That's what you want, and I know it..." ha,ha,ha,ha! You can hear it now! Ah, the joy of it all! Good thing there's a gorgeous Ring or Two involved, or it'd be harder to rope us in like that! har, har!

And they should change the Marriage Vows to include, "Do you take this Woman to Make Your Breakfast, Do the Dishes and Make the Bed Every Day?", to which he would say, "Sure, that sounds cheaper than my current Maid..." ... And she could reply to "Do you take this Man to Take out the Garbage, Do the Lawn Work and Change the Oil in the Car?", to which she can cheerily agree... sounds good, so far...! ha,ha,ha! And while they're at it, they can take out 'For Better or For Worse", since I've lived the 'worse', and that's just stoopid to put up with that in the name of any institution... maybe they could replace it with, "Provided you are Kind and Decent"... now that would work for me!

Tip of the Day: It's a Home Safety Tip, since something happened to some friends of ours, yesterday, (they had a huge water leak in their house...), and it reminded me of my Home Safety Page, which you can check out when you have a minute... But here's the Tip for now -- Put a Tag on the Main Water Valve in the House (usually it's in the Furnace Room, unless you're in a really, really old house, in which case, just turn off all the taps!)). You can write in BOLD WATER TURNOFF VALVE, and then in smaller letters, write the instructions of how to turn it off. No kidding. Draw a little Diagram, if you need to -- if it's one of those Taps that is straight, it needs to be turned to a 90 Degree angle to shut it off, so your picture would show the tap running parallel to the pipe so the water can run through, the next picture of the handle to the side, so it shuts the water flow off.

Everyone in the House should know how to turn all the Taps off -- under the Sinks, by the Toilets and the Main Water Valve in the Furnace Room. Knowing how to turn off all these valves in an emergency can save you thousands of dollars, and a whole lot of heartache, so that's always good, right? Remember to show the Babysitter, too, since these accidents sometimes happen when no adults are at home... So if you ever have any water leaking out of anything where it's not supposed to be, immediately go and turn off the Main Water Valve, then call a Plumber. If you wait for the Plumber to come over to do that for you, you'll have a massive amount of damage by then... and when you've located the Shut off Valve in your House, tell all your friends about my Home Safety Page so they can go find their Shut off Valves, too! We'll save millions! ha,ha,ha!

I'll go see what kind of pictures I can find for you, today! Be right back!

**

See the Yellow Lever? That's the Main Water Shutoff Valve.

Well, thanks for coming in for a little visit! It's always nice to see you -- and I really like your Eyelashes like that -- I guess it's true that loads of Mascara suits absolutely everyone -- even the men... which reminds me of another story, but I'll tell you that another day! Don't let me forget! ha,ha!

See ya, Baby! Ailsa!!

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Friday, June 11th, 2004. Hi, Honey-Cake (I was gonna say 'honeybuns', but that sounds a little inappropriate... although it's probably accurate...! ha,ha!). And Sunshine is a better greeting than Moonshine, which carries a whole other set of criteria -- I can't just assume you've got a still out back, and that's why you're growin' all those potatoes.... Oh, that reminds me -- Cara just started reading The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger -- it's my all-time favorite book for teenagers (and if you've already been a teenager and never did get around to reading it, you'll love it, too...!). So far she likes the swearing ... hey, if that gets them into the book, that's okay, and the vast majority of great literature has a whole lot of swearing -- maybe that's how we can market books to kids! ha,ha,ha!

Aidan was asking me, this morning, if we can go out and plant a Garden -- he's desperate to grow Watermelon and Strawberries -- his two favorite Fruits (my favourite Fruit is Bruce, but that's a whole other story, and I'm sure Bruce will laugh -- he's one of the funniest humans on the face of the planet! ha,ha,ha). It's weird when you're planning to move, because it's difficult to know how much you should do when you may or may not be there to tend to new stuff... I think I might get around that by planting the Stawberries in a huge Planter, with some sort of Tall plant in the center -- maybe some Dracena or some tall Geraniums... I'll take Aidan to the Garden Center so he can see what he likes. I have a couple of enormous Pots from two Tropical Plants that just didn't make it through the winter -- and no, I didn't leave them outside in minus 40 degree weather -- I had them inside, and they still didn't survive -- I think they were done in by depression, but they're not talking, so I can't be sure... yuff, yuff!

Dwight says I cannot have my Wildflower Garden again, this year -- he hates it -- royally. He had some special training from his family to like things that are neat and orderly, and that includes the garden. Now as you might well imagine, I love things that are crazy and unwieldy, that won't conform to the regular rules -- a nice little reflection of me, no doubt! ha,ha! So Dwight has a big plan to put in a 'Gravel Garden' -- no kidding! That's Dwight's idea of a perfect garden -- rocks and the occasional Potted Plant. Our current fight about that garden (it's the Walk-Out Garden, we're gonna call it, should it ever come into being...) involves Trees -- I want to put Trees all along the back of the Garden, and then at the top section and maybe a river bed through the middle, but Dwight says, "No Trees", and walks away. He's delightful to chat with -- no wonder this argument has been going on for so very long! ha,ha!

Tip of the Day: Oh, you know what makes a neat looking Garden, in the middle of a Flower Garden or if you want to create a quick Border -- Potatoes -- they're not just for the Still anymore! ha,ha! They grow very quickly and end up looking kind of bushy, although not like a regular bush, of course -- they'll grow about 2 feet high by the end of the season -- then you can Harvest the Potatoes, and before you know it, you'll be thinkin' about movin' back to them thar mountains! And you'll have to go off your 'no-carbs' diet, but that'll be good for a wee break, anyway! You can grow Potatoes from the Seed Potatoes you can get at the Garden Center, or just leave your regular potatoes in a dark place and let them sprout on their own ... cut them into quarters, and plant then about every 8" apart. There, that's my little Gardening Advice for today!

And I'm happy to report that my 'Insta-Tan' is still on, three Showers later... it makes you feel like Summer really will arrive one day, and you'll be all ready for it! Really, you have to be delusional to live in the North! ha,ha,ha!

Okay, I have to go measure the Windows for the Shutters -- I keep meaning to do that, then another day goes by, and another year... I did measure them last Fall, but it was such a bother trying to find the Shutters that it kind of went by the wayside, then Dwight said he wasn't going to put any Shutters on at all, but I drew them in the original House Plans, so I think they are essential to the Look of the House ... so my best bet is to go back out and do some measuring, then find out where I can actually get the Shutters. I'll run it by Dwight again when I have all the facts, then go ahead and just do it. See why I want to make my own money? I hate that Dwight gets the Final Word on absolutely everything, and he doesn't get why that would bother me... bit of a stalemate there (and that's the understatement of the year! ha,ha,ha,ha!).

I can't get my computer to accept the new pictures from my camera -- that seems to happen from time to time, for some annoying reason... so I'll see what pictures I can find for you! Be right back!

Here's the Walk-Out Garden Area I was talking about -- see the bit where the Bobcat is scaping away the dirt? That's where my Wildflower Garden was last year, and part of the area where I would like to see a bunch of Trees.

** **

And Dwight built a Retaining Wall just on the one side over by the Hot Tub Deck, which is just up and around the corner from this area. That way, no extra mud will slide in here if we were to have some massive downpour, or something... and today I got another Rope and attached Tia's Harness to it, so she can play out the Back Walk-Out Door , too!

Thanks for swinging in for a wee visit! See you on the Weekend, Baby! Ailsa!!

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See ya', Baby! Ailsa!

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